A person can change a lot in a short span of time and I was experiencing this firsthand. I used to cringe watching the movies where a character swoons over their sleeping partner. I mean how much can you like a person to admire their puffy face and drool leaking from the corner of their mouth.

But I was wrong and so inexperienced in these things that I didn't know any better. It'd been an hour since I woke up and I was still in bed staring at Nolan's face, containing my smile. I still couldn't believe that I slept with him. Not once but twice. I had sex with a gorgeous man so I think I've achieved enough. The life I lived was definitely worthy.

I flinched lightly when he spoke without even opening his eyes, “Done admiring?” His morning voice was huskier yet it felt like soft velvet to my ears. I could listen to him all day. “Hmm?” A cocky grin was plastered over his damningly handsome face and his eyes twinkled with mischief. And oh god, my heart started its workout already.

“Huh-uh. I am gonna get up now.” I smiled as his grin disappeared, replacing it with a pout. He was too much like a baby when he needed attention. I kissed his pout and was about to get up when a numbing pain striked me in my lower abdomen.

I was just sore the first time but this time, I couldn't even feel my legs. I was numb from my hips to the very last toe nail. I couldn't even move with all the ache in my lower body and Nolan seemed to had noticed it.

He hurriedly sat up straight on his knees like an obedient puppy. “Does it hurt a lot?” Aww! Was he worried? After being the one to do this? The vein in my head throbbed at his clueless facade.

Of course, it does. A lot. “A little.” I kept the words to myself, I didn't want to lash out on him. He really couldn't control himself yesterday. I was really wrong when I said he was a beast in bed, he was a literal monster. My whole body ached and my mind screamed at me to plant a punch on his face right this instant but I held back.

Sex and pleasure are all good but after, the body suffers its consequences. The sparkly bubble in which I had been floating since morning had burst and reality hit me with a painful strike in my inner thighs.

“Why are you getting up?” He asked when I tried to move but winced when the pain hit me again. He grabbed my hand and showed me his innocent puppy eyes, “Stay with me.”

“I have to brush my hair. They are a mess.” I sighed. My hair was unmanageable as it was but after the vigorous exercise yesterday they were so tangled that they didn't look any different from a bird's nest.

“I'll brush them for you. After all, I grabbed and pulled them a great deal yesterday.” Nolan smiled while spewing the truth. At least he realized what he’d done. He’d really played with my hair a lot and the major culprit behind my hair's dishevel was him. “Stay here, I'll be right back.” He jumped down from the bed and went towards the mirror. He was awfully energetic today, whereas I could barely move. This was so unfair, like his skin glowed and in comparison I looked so haggard like a used rug.

“You know how to do it?” I sighed when he actually brought back a comb and sat behind me. I thought he was just playing around but he actually started to brush my hair. His touch was gentle and delicate, like a warm breeze.

I suddenly remembered the times when Maa used to comb my hair and braid them. The feeling was similar, gentle and caring. His soothing touch melted me and brought me back to being a child.

“I used to play with my mom's hair when I was little. I know how to braid them too.” I closed my eyes, losing myself in his care. I was far too relaxed with him. Now that I think about it, I'd always had my guard up with him but now he's the person I'm most defenseless with.

I'd always preferred coldness and quiet. It gave me peace and made me resilient. But now that I feel someone's warm touch full of love and care, I feel like warmth is not all that bad. I could feel strong and at peace with someone by my side as well. If I think about it, maybe I was like the dark and cold itself and Nolan, he is like the light and hope in my life, constantly pulling me out of despair. Making me forget my pain and problems.

He was like the repair to my destruction. The aid to my illness. And most importantly and in romantic terms, he was the sunshine to my midnight rain.

“All done.” I didn't realize how time went by. Because by the time Nolan called out to me, he was already done combing and braiding my hair. I touched the braid to see for real and he'd actually done a pretty good job. I won't lie, I was quite impressed.

“You did a good job.” I patted his back and praised him. But instead of saying something, he just frowned. Did I make him upset? But what did I do exactly? Maybe I should appreciate him better.

“You should praise me correctly.” He slammed his lips on mine and pulled my body on him. Sly fox!  We hadn't brushed yet so it should feel gross but instead I was just melting in the kiss. My senses always left me whenever he touched me. All I felt was his hot breath, blazing tongue and electric touch on my body. His fingers burned holes through the shirt and onto my flesh.

My own hands wandered on his bare chest and abs, touching and caressing every swell on his perfectly chiseled body. I breathed out a sigh when he let go of my lips and gazed at me with his loving honey eyes. I smiled at him, the amount of times I smiled looking at him was dangerous. “I gotta brush my teeth.”

“I'll do it for you.” He sprang up from the bed with an excited gleam in his eyes. How could he manage to look totally opposite in just a few hours? He was like a beast yesterday and today, he just seemed like an innocent puppy who wiggled his tail in happiness.

“No, you can't. I'll do it myself,” I said and as soon as I did, his face fell and excitement vanished from his eyes. His shoulders dropped and disappointment was written all over face. I bit my lips to control my laugh at his childish and clingy behavior. He was behaving way out of character today, but I wasn't complaining.

“But you can accompany me.” I looked up at him with doe eyes, looking completely innocent. Like I wasn't expecting anything to happen in the bathroom. “Now that's something you won't regret saying.” His eyes lit up and in an instant, I was swept up from the sheets by him. He held me firmly with his strong muscular arms, flexing his strength.

I squealed at his action and all he answered with was a wicked grin and a throaty laugh. And just like that he carried me to the bathroom with our laughs rumbling in the whole house.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

I came out of the shower with a pleasant mood and a smile playing on my lips. I'd showered first but Nolan insisted on joining me. I had to kick him out of the washroom with all the strength I had. It was all fun and jolly but I was completely ready to face a sulking Nolan with a pout.

The thought of kissing him all over his face as a way to make up to him made my mood more pleasant. But after I stepped out of the bathroom, I didn't see him on the bed. I scanned the room only to find him in front of the mirror. I walked towards him slowly but he was so immersed in himself that he didn't notice me coming.

“What are you looking at, Nolan?” I asked a focused Nolan, who was touching his neck, glancing in the mirror. He was smiling sheepishly on his own, grazing his fingers on his neck.

I gasped as soon as I stood on my toes to take a closer look, “Wait, did I do that?” A big red scratch, definitely from my nails, was on his neck. I guess I accidentally scratched him yesterday while-

Oh fuck! Blood rushed to my cheeks. Now's not the time to remember it, I reminded myself. “I am so sorry, Nolan. I- I scratched you.” I apologized and took a closer look at his wound. Now that I looked closer, there was dried blood too and it made me feel all the more bad.

“It's okay and to be honest I actually like it.” Nolan tried to touch it again. He looked too happy to get scratched and hurted. Was he alright? Because I couldn't wrap my head around what he was saying.

I was confused. How could he like something that hurts? “You like a scratch?” I looked at him with the same confused look.

“Only when it's from you, Kay. It makes me feel like you claimed me as yours.” My eyes widened at his words. “I feel like I belong to you with this mark.” Once again he grinned from ear to ear. That shy smile which was so subtle that it wreaked havoc in my heart. My heartbeat accelerated at an abnormal pace and thundered in my ears.

Cute. He looked just like a big adorable puppy. Wait, cute? The smile which was threatening to appear, stopped as realization hit me. I find him cute. I find a grown man to be adorable. I read somewhere before, when you find a man hot, it's manageable but when you find a grown man cute, it's over for you. You're down bad. So bad, Kayra.

“Bullshit!” I said, maybe it came out louder than intended because Nolan's head snapped in my direction and his eyes widened. I didn't mean to say that to him and as realization hit, guilt took over me. “I mean that I hurt you. It's a scratch not a love bite.” I tried to explain to him. And thankfully he seemed to understand too, as he didn't dwell much on my remark from earlier.

“Then why don't you bite me here. On this side.” He turned his head to the other side, pointing at his neck. “Give me a love bite here, like I gave you.” My face flushed red, partly from his demand and partly from his remark. He was right, he did give me a hickey, in fact from my neck to upto my hips, I was embarrassingly covered in red-purple marks.

“Maybe the scratch can be considered as a sign of ownership too.” I reasoned and was too embarrassed to look him in the eye. While he didn't seem even a bit fazed by his own words. “But I don't want it to leave a scar on your neck.” It won't be good if his national treasure-like body gets a scar. It'd be a shame if he has a scar on his pretty neck. “Come, I'll apply some ointment on it.”

I pulled his wrist and made him sit on the bed as he was a bit tall for me to properly apply ointment on his neck while standing. I grabbed the ointment from the drawer and stood in front of him between his legs. I bent a little to see his wound better and began to treat it. But I couldn't focus at all because of Nolan's intense gaze, fixated on me. “You surely know how to make my heart flutter.”

Huh? I pulled myself back a little to meet his eyes. He'd wanted to say something since before and I knew from the way he stared at me. But I didn't expect him to say something like this. “You're worried about me. I'm honored,” he said with a small smirk tugging on his lips. His cheeks were red and I didn't realize how close I stood to him. The distance between us was merely about three inches but it didn't make me nervous.

I was getting too comfortable being close with him. In fact, the closer we were, the more relaxed I was. They feel like a home, foreign yet all too familiar. Maybe that's what you feel with the right person. Even if they cause havoc inside you at certain times, the only one who can calm it will always be them.

“Of course, I'd be worried for you. You're my boyfriend after all.” I cupped his cheek with my palm and put on a gentle smile. But he froze in his place and didn't even move his eyes. He just stared at me, baffled. “Nolan?”

“See, this was what I was talking about. You just made me weak in the knees,” he said and tugged on my hand, pulling me forward. He quickly pecked my lips and looked me in the eyes again. I seriously can't tell what goes through that handsome head of his sometimes.

“What do I do? I really like the sound of that. Should I change my name to Kayra's boyfriend then?” He acted like he was seriously considering doing that. He always teases me until I get either irritated or embarrassed. But now that he's teasing me again, I felt a lot more embarrassed and a little moved. He showers me with so much affection that it makes me guilty. I never wanted anything more than I could offer, but he always gives me more of everything.

“Idiot!” I hit his arm lightly as we both broke out laughing. Today's morning was filled with joy, laughter and even if I didn't want to acknowledge it, love.

I hope the rest of my days go just like this, with him by my side. A month, exactly a month was remaining for my freedom to expire and this dream to break. A beautiful bright bubble of life, love and laughter which will soon burst, making me fall so hard, I won't ever be able to get up.

That is how everything is supposed to go. But I couldn't help thinking and asking myself the same question repeatedly.
What if I didn't go back?