"I don't need anyone. I can stay by myself," I said for the umpteenth time. At least for one night. Ruby, Amy and their boyfriends were visiting Amy's parents for their anniversary. I didn't want to intervene in their family gathering, so I was staying home. But knowing my intense fear of the dark, they didn't want to leave me alone. I'd never stayed alone for a night before.

"If you're not coming with us then at least let us call someone over to stay for the night," Amy said, being the worrywart she was.

"Don't worry and leave or else you'll be late." The drive was two-hour long and they weren't coming back until tomorrow afternoon. Jake and Asher were in the car outside waiting from the past hour for these girls to finish but Ruby and Amy weren't budging. After what felt like a strong debate and hard physical labor, I succeeded in handing my friends to their boyfriends and making them leave.

But now that they were gone and I was all alone, I felt oddly cold. The evening was growing darker and I was getting a little too aware of my surroundings like the rustling of curtains and the corners which weren't as dark ever before.

I switched on the TV to distract myself from how I felt like I was in either a paranormal or crime documentary. Perhaps the decision to stay back was wrong. I should've gone with them or else I would be departing from this world tonight. I was beyond afraid of the dark and ghosts. My ability to confront them was even smaller than an ant and it was visible from the fact that it hadn't even been ten minutes since I was alone and I was already feeling this way.

I crouched on the sofa and wrapped the blanket to prevent the imaginary ghost from taking me. I eyed everywhere except the screen, which played the master chef.

The clock grew louder. Tick. Tick. Tick. Knock. Knock. What?

The sudden knock on the door startled me. It was thirty past seven, who could be at this hour? I didn't even remember calling someone over. Someone was outside or maybe I was just imagining things. I brushed it off but someone knocked again, meaning someone was actually there. A person. Uninvited. At night. They can be armed or… I gulped at the thought of the worst case scenario, a ghost.

The number and impact of knocks increased and so did my heartbeats. I was surely dying tonight. I left the protection of my blanket and took slow steps towards the front door. Goosebumps ran all over my skin while I hesitated to open the door. But relief washed over me when the supposed ghost called from outside.

I quickly opened the door and there he was standing all red. Nolan was shivering because he only had a hoodie on in this extreme weather. It seemed like he hurried here because of his state and disheveled hair. "Geez Kayra! You should open the door faster. I almost froze to death."

The relief from earlier was short lived and soon a scowl appeared on my face. What was he doing here and why was he coming inside and taking off his shoes?

"I don't at all open the door for uninvited people," I said and motioned at his outfit, "especially people who look like thieves."

"Were you going to hit the thief with a remote then?" He laughed. I didn't notice the remote in my hand which I brought instinctively for self-defense. Shit!

I composed myself. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice as cold as the weather. The conversation from that day was still fresh in my mind and the words he said cut through me so deep, it still bled.

"I am here for the night." He shrugged and continued walking inside. It seemed like he owned this place or something. I followed him while he plopped on the couch and covered his legs with the blanket. My blanket!

I stood in front of the couch with my arms crossed. "Says who?" My brow arched so high it pained me due to the irritation.

"Me.” He pointed his index finger towards himself and grinned. He will seriously be dead soon. I will kill him. Who did he think he was, walking all over me and intruding in my life?

"Bold of you to assume that I'll let you stay here," I scoffed.

"Uh-huh, fine. I'm sure you know the risk of theft and of course, paranormal activities which are common around here, not that you are scared of it, right?"  The smug look plastered over his face was so superficial I wanted to truly smack him but his words were right.

He got up to leave and had barely taken any steps when I called him, "Wait!" I could feel the smile appearing on his face from behind. Smug asshole!

He turned to look at me, "What? You want me to stay." His face, straight and as plain as a blank paper. He was mocking me, making the most of this situation.

"No…but…" it was my pride speaking which will die along with me if I don't do this.  My brain and reason screamed at me that it was a bad idea but… the but rolled out of my mouth. Despite the hurricane of emotions inside me and well made arguments, I stayed silent.

"Well then, I'll stay." He again flopped on the couch, once again making himself at home. I didn't argue anymore. I was already in deep shit because of my presumptuousness and I will surely die if I do the same again. Moreover, it's fine if we stay in different rooms on each floor. I made clear to him that he will not, under any circumstances, come up.

"And the only place you're allowed is on the couch and this blanket's mine," I said, yanking the blanket from him and running upstairs. I shut the door behind and crawled up on my bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my heart thrummed in my ribcage and blood roared in my ears. I blamed my fear for this unusual malfunction in my body. But I would be lying if I said it wasn't at least a tiny bit because of a certain someone downstairs.

I slapped my cheeks. It wasn't like he was staying overnight for the first time. But it's the first time we are both alone, under one roof, at night.

No, we were not. We were together before as well. The night flashed before my eyes, suddenly rising the temperature.

Hold on tight.

That’s my girl.

You did great.

I like you, Kayra.

"Ugh, please stop!" I fanned myself. I shouldn't be thinking about it. Not when we were together. Alone. It was dangerous.

I was about to fall asleep when everything fell dark. Whole house rumbled when I screamed at the top of my lungs. Why does it always happen to me? I was sure the gods hated me and they showed it fully well. I covered myself with the blanket, as if it was a shield, keeping the demons out. The first thing I did was call Nolan. I wasn't sure what I'd say to him but I called anyway.

"Hey, are you up?" He picked up within the first beep, he must've been awake as well or if not then my scream must've woken him up. "No. It's the ghost speaking."

"Shut up!" A shiver ran down my spine at a ghost’s mention. Why was he joking about that?

"Ok-fine," he replied curtly. Was he hanging up? No, no, don't.

"Wait, wait- Hello!" The line didn't disconnect. My insides relaxed knowing the call was still on. "Um, do you know why the power's out?"

"I should be the one asking you that. It's your house." I know that, moron!

"But I don't know. This never happens." Blackouts were rare where we lived and because of that I never had to worry about them.

"I wonder how you survived in this world, you should know these things. I called them, they said some work is going on and the power will be back in a couple hours." He was calm but the bomb he dropped created chaos.

"A couple hours?" My voice came out louder and more whining. What the fuck will happen to me during these hours?

"What? You have a problem with that?"

"Yes, No- I mean yes yes. Can you…uh come up?" I hesitated but my fear was getting the best of me. I didn't want to be alone, not when it's so dark. Mental darkness didn't scare me, actual darkness did.

"Why? Are you hurt?" His tone changed. Was he worried? My heart did a somersault.

"No. It's just, I am-" the call cut off. He hung up. I knew I was being a hypocrite. First drawing a line then asking him to cross it. I myself didn't know why I was behaving this way. I shouldn't. I heard the knocks on the door. Was he here or is there someone else? I expected it to be him and I wanted it to be him as well.

"It's not locked," I yelled and in the next second the door swung open. A light flashed before my eyes. It was Nolan, he looked like he came running. I couldn't see because of the dark but his deep breaths gave away. "You didn't lock the door, were you expecting me to come at night, hmm?" It hadn't even been a minute since he entered but he was already being annoying.

"I didn't give it much thought." But deep down I knew he wouldn't do something as low as sneak into my room without permission. He wasn't that kind of person.

"You seem fine to me,” he said, flashing his phone's flashlight on me and scanning everything.

"Well, I am not hurt…" I mumbled. He raised his eyebrows and looked at me with questioning eyes. Yeah, judge me all you want, asshole.

"Then I'll go back.” He turned to leave but stopped when I called out to him. "Don't. Sleep here." His head snapped in my direction, shocked. I must look like a creep but I couldn't stay alone. "Just until the power comes back,” I explained.

He stared at me blankly. Thank God, he didn't just leave. He seemed to be giving it some real thought. "Where do you want me to sleep? On the floor?"

Right. There wasn't any couch or an extra mattress to sleep in my room. My own bed wasn't big enough for two to sleep comfortably. But I, being drunk on fear and desperation, said something absolutely absurd. I scooted to the side of the bed, "Here, the bed is big for two." Great, now he'll definitely take you as a pervert.

He blinked twice and opened his mouth and closed it. He opened his mouth again and spoke. "Surely you're blind or just dumb. This is a single bed for a single person."

"Please." I scooted more until I was only half on the bed. He closed his eyes and groaned. He seemed to be contemplating whether to stay or not. He turned off his flashlight and everything turned dark again. My heart thrummed as my fear took over along with disappointment.

But my nerves relaxed when I felt the bed sink from the other side and soon a hand pulled me on the bed completely. Now, my head laid on his arm, while face was dangerously close to his chest. His warm breath fell on my head as I felt our hearts roaring with each second. The relief was short-lived and it swapped with nervousness.

The bed was small so sleeping close was the only option. Don't give it much thought, Kayra. This is all innocent. I turned to face the other way. My back pressed against his chest lightly as I stayed still. Stiff. We laid there like a pair of corpses.

After a few minutes, I felt drowsy because of his body warmth and the comfort I was feeling. The earlier awkwardness was gone, now it felt like we almost slept together daily. I got used to his firm biceps, gentle hold and soothing heartbeats quite quickly. I wasn't up long until my eyelids fell shut and sleep engulfed me.

A protective hand rested on top of the duvet over my body. The warmth from the weight of Nolan's hand was relaxing and I was about to fall asleep again but the lights flickered in front of my eyes. I blinked several times to adjust to the dim lights in my room. I could see my room and after tilting my head backwards, the sleeping Nolan beside me. We were still in the same positions as when we fell asleep. The lights were back. They were back just now.

I gazed at Nolan. He was drawing in slow breaths and looked extremely comfortable even though he was not. His arm must be numb by now but he didn't pull back. I had to wake him up but a part of me didn't want him to leave. I wanted to be in his embrace, share his warmth and feel protected in his hold.

The more my brain shouted at me to distance myself from him and send him downstairs, my heart did the opposite. I leaned back more on him until my back fully rested on his chest. I closed my eyes as I couldn't bear the agony and helplessness of myself. The hand which previously only rested on the duvet was now fully wrapped around my waist from above the duvet. His grip tightened and in a low, almost inaudible mutter he said, "Sorry…please let me be greedy this time."

I guess he didn't know I was awake. The time he confessed flashed before my eyes, the kiss and the 'I like you, Kayra'. I rejected him so it's selfish of me to expect him to stay by my side. It angered me that he was hugging me but it angered me more that I was letting him. Somehow the feelings I didn't know existed, rose and rippled at the surface. Why couldn't I push him away? Why did I feel safe in his arms? I am not supposed to do this, I have to let everything go, I have to go back. I squeezed my eyes shut as my heart throbbed at the thought of him getting up and leaving. And when he didn't, it felt relieving.

I couldn't get into this mess. But maybe I was already in it and didn't realize it until now. Maybe I was even too deep to get out. Nolan had come into my dark isolated life and brightened it up when I thought it was impossible.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

I stayed still though I felt an unmoving gaze on my face while a finger traced my nose then caressed my cheeks. I opened my eyes which took Nolan aback. He was flustered and that face was worth capturing. He was so flustered that he got off the bed. "It's morning." Nolan avoided my gaze but I could see the red tips of his ears. I sat up, enjoying his shy self with a small smile dancing on my lips. "I'll leave then." He met my eyes only once before turning to leave.

"I'll give you a chance." He stopped in his tracks and looked back, obviously puzzled. I smiled at him. A big, genuine smile.

Last night's blackout made me realize my feelings and what I really wanted. I wanted Nolan. Strangely, I even liked him. Maybe I could live a little before getting caged again. So, I can be a little selfish and  allow myself to give him a chance. Besides, I wasn't even engaged yet.

"Let's date."