And so, that brings us to now,
I sit on the edge of the bed, my eyes heavily looking down at the floor.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
Scared that he will say no, and our relationship will be ruined forever.
No.
No.
I have to get those stupid thoughts from my mind,
Felix will say yes, I know he will.
Will he?
I look over at Felix sleeping, his sky blue eyes closed by his eyelids. He looks happy. I feel like I could see him laugh at any moment now.
And that's why this day will be perfect.
I get up from the bed, head downstairs and start making Felix breakfast.
Today is going to be the longest day of my life.

This year, we go to a carnival. The rings in my jacket pocket, and I feel like it will fall out on one of the rides, but it doesn't.
As soon as we arrive, Felix is dragging me towards the food stall like its nobody's business. We get our cotton candy, and I smile, because I know that Felix is smiling from the sugar, and if he is, then I am too. We continue to walk around and talk at the things we see, until Felix spots it.
His favourite part of carnivals.
The Ferris wheel.
Grabbing me by the hand and pulling me over towards ride, we get into one of the carriages. As we go up, Felix's eyes fill with wonder.
"I've always loved Ferris Wheels, because my-"
"Yes, I know, your mother took you on one at a carnival once, and you went up so high that you could see other cities." I say with a smile.
Felix smiles back, "You know me too well." And nudges me with his elbow. Felix leans on me, and for one second I think I'm going to do it, until...
The ride starts moving again.
But I know this isn't the place. It's not our place.
I know where I'm taking him now.
I launch him off the ride and grab his hand and run towards the car.
"Mark!" Felix calls, "Where are we going."
I smile back at him and say, "You'll see."

When Felix looks up, he knows where we are.
It's the beach where we came last year.
Felix almost leaps out of the car and runs around to grab me. He pulls me to the beach,
"Mark! You never said we were coming here!"
"I wanted to surprise you."
He pulls me down, onto the sand where we sat last time. We look out at the waves, crashing against the shoreline. And when I turn to look a Felix,
He's looking at me.
"You're my best friend."
"And you're mine."
"I love you."
"I love you more."
Felix leans into me, and pulls me close. Is this the time? We sit there like that for a while, when
"Are you cold? Cause I'm cold."
"Yeah I'm cold too. We should get going before dark."
We head back to the car, and Felix falls asleep on the way home. I curse at myself for not doing it already.
Maybe today wasn't the day,
Maybe I had to wait just a little while longer.
I sigh heavily and lean my head up against the side window.
When we get home, I open the passenger door, only to find a sleeping Felix. I smile and pull him into my arms. I kick the door closed with my foot, and carry Felix inside. I carefully set him down in the couch. I sit down next to him, looking at his sleeping features. He always looks so peaceful, so different from when he's awake. I reach into my pocket and pull out the box.
What am I doing?
I take the ring out and carefully place it on Felix's ring finger.
It looks perfect.
How I had dreamed it would.
I get up to grab the TV remote from our bedroom, when a voice behind me startles me. It almost sounds like he's crying, but I know he's not.
"Yes."
I turn around and look at Felix standing in front of me.
"Yes, Mark, of course I will marry you."
He's almost crying now. I smile and engulf him in my arms.
Yes.
He said yes.
And that's all I ever wanted.
"Shhh Felix, don't cry."
"I love you so much Mark."
"I love you more, Felix."

That night, I fall asleep, holding Felix. He's smiling.
I look down at his hand, because I'm still in shock that it actually happened.
I see the ring.
He said yes.