It has been 2 years... Two years since mother died.

Today is the day she died as well as Noah's 2nd birthday but Dad decided to shift his birthday to the next day so that we don't mourn mum's death on Noah's special day.

"Chuchu.. where dada going?" Noah asked giving me the nickname 'chichu'.

I chuckled as I rose him up in the air.

"Little bear, dada has something to do" I nuzzled him with my nose knowing he wasn't satisfied with my answer.

I mean I couldn't tell him dad went to mum's grave, mainly because I couldn't bring myself to.

"Dada went to shop for your birthday gift" I lied in the process of cheering him up as he beamed around with joy.

"Easy there little bear.." I chuckled lightly. "Let's get dressed for school"

I carried him up to his room, had his bath and we both got dressed for school.

We arrived school after a 30 minutes drive.

We got down from the car and I smiled at myself.

An 18 year old girl in her final year of school about to enter college stood before the tall gates of a school building.

If only mum could see me now and how much I've changed...

I bit my tongue to hold back tears.

"Chuchu? Aren't you coming?" Noah said as he dragged my hands for me to move.

"Somebody looks energetic today" I chuckled. "So why the rush?" I asked him.

"Teacher! The teacher said she give me a gold star! I've been good" he jumped up happily and I laughed at his happiness.

"Good boy! You deserve ice cream after school!" I praised him.

Noah was a smart kid and a fast learner compared to kids his age, he talks fluently although still makes mistakes which when corrected, adapts to it.

After I saw him off, I made my way to my class; GRADE 12A: THE BRIGHT LEADERS.

I walked into class and sat down on an empty seat.

"Pst.. May what's up?" Sheeda, my best friend called out to me.

"Hi Sheeda" I waved.

"C'mon! What did I tell you about that cold attitude?? Smile for you girl!" She teased.

Sheeda Ra'uf Khaleel, daughter of Sir Ra'uf Khaleel. She is the daughter of the prime minister of the Islamic region, specifically Saudi Arabia and is currently living in Italy due to some personal issues

"Oh I forgot.. so how are you preparing for the final year's exams?" I changed the subject.

"Exams? We both know we've been preparing for this since years!" She said firmly.

"Have you decided on which college you'd be applying for?" She asked sadness in her eyes as I smiled

"no not yet"

That was our last conversation as the teacher entered the class.

            ***************

"Chuchu!" Noah ran up to me pointing at something above his forehead. "Chuchu! look star! My star!" He was proud of himself which made me chuckle.

"Weldone little bear! Let's go get ice cream before uncle Sam comes to pick us up" I suggested and he was over the moon.

We got home a bit late and I went to my room to do my English assignment.

We were to write about a short story that ended with '....going back in time, I would have changed that'.

I looked at my book clueless, the only thing I wanted to go back in time was to fix my past mistakes with mum.

I went through my hair with my fingers frantically thinking.

I took out a cigarette about to light it up but stopped and crushed it almost immediately.

I couldn't bring myself to.

I had quit smoking 2 years ago because of Noah, but now that he's all grown up, I think it'll still be bad for his health.

Looking at the cigarette in my hands, contemplating whether to smoke or not, Noah burst open the door.

I quickly covered the cigarette with my hands tightly.

"Noah!" I smiled at him.

"Chuchu.." he cried as he pointed at his hands.

"Look..." He brought his hands closer.

I laughed. It was just a splinter. I grabbed a first aid box and tended to his wound.

"There you go"I said as I planted a kiss on this cheeks.

"Dada is not back..." He stared at the floor and I knew he felt disturbed.

I tapped his shoulder thinking of what to say, emotions isn't something that's been part of me.

"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" I asked as he beamed in excitement.

"Really?" He asked unsure of what I said. I nodded and he hugged me in return.

"C'mon now little bear!" I roared. "Mrs crocodile is gonna getcha!" He giggled as I xhased him round my room.