This was probably the most exciting and terrifying moment of my life. I heard his laugh, but what I saw...it...couldn't have been what I saw.

The figure stepped out of the portal...it was Bill. But...

It wasn't Bill.

Bill walked up to me. He smiled at me. This Bill...was human?!

I about fainted. This...this isn't possible... My entire body shook as he walked slowly up to me.

Bill was so tall! He toward over me. He suddenly floated up and leaned over me. "Hey Arrow!" He said cheerfully.

Fear. That's what that feeling was. Fear.

He continued smiling. "Aren't you happy to see me?!"

My jaw just hung open. "See you? T-this isn't you..." I scrambled back.

Bill zipped over to my side. "Of course it is! Can't be my true form in this human universe!" He put his silk, black, gloved hand on my shoulder.

I tensed up. "But..." I looked up at him, still in shock. "How...why?" I wasn't able to speak.

Bill stared at me happily. The creepy part was that he had his left eye covered with an eye patch. "Well, I have very big plans for Gravity Falls," he looked me up and down. ", but I guess a detour wouldn't hurt." He added as he put his arm around me.

What?! I backed away. "Uh, you're crazy, you are like a billion years old."

Bill laughed. "Oh Arrow, that Pine Tree doesn't even trust you! You wouldn't mind me hanging around for a while?" He smiled.

I frowned. "Uh-"

"Great!" He interrupted. He grabbed my hand quickly and teleported us into the front of the shack.

I just stared at the forest, all my muscles were constricted. Bill moved on fast, we were in the strange lab then, boom, we were in the front of the shack.

Bill laughed happily. "Yes! I can't believe I'm actually walking on the actual ground!" He smiled.

I stared at him strangely. For a crazy brain-demon he acted quite childish.

Bill grabbed my hand and started to drag me. "Let's go to your house!" He started to float up.

I wriggled around. "I've had enough floating around!" I yelled angrily.

Bill dropped me. "Ok. Well, I have no where to stay. As a human I need shelter right?" He frowned sadly.

I blinked. I never thought I would have to teach these basics to a grown man. "Uh, no. You can't come to my house cause-"

"You're parents? Yah, but I can just...hide." He said sneakily.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure...like I could hide a entire human in my room." I said sarcastically.

Bill tapped his chin. "Maybe you could fit part of a human?" Suddenly he changed form. His bottom half was gone.

I screamed and covered my eyes.

Bill laughed.

I looked through my fingers and saw he was normal. "Don't do that! Its...gross!"

Bill laughed again. "Oh Arrow, humans form of humor is strange..."

"Our form of humor?" I echoed.

"C'mon, you're not gonna leave me!"

I looked at him confused. "Don't you have your 'big plans?'"

Bill nodded. "Yah. But...it can wait. I just got here, can't I enjoy the scenery?"

I growled. "Fine..." I gave in. I started to walk home.

Bill floated up. "Yesss!"

With his strange echoey voice, his cheering seemed off.

Bill zoomed ahead. "C'mon!" He grabbed my hand (AGAIN!!) and teleported me. (AGAIN!!)

I opened my eyes and saw my house. "Can you stop!" I told him angrily.

Bill gave me a pouty face. "Sorry."

Apologizing sounded weird too, coming from his mouth.

This time I was the one grabbing his hand and I was the one dragging him around.

"So my mom is-" I broke off as I heard a car pull up. I froze in fear. "Oh my gosh..."

Bill laughed. "I can meet your mom!"

"No no no no! You are not gonna meet my mom!" I started to push him to the side.

Bill flew up and floated to her car.

"Bill! Come back! She can't see you flying!"

Bill didn't come and didn't stop flying.

I sprinted over and pulled on his arm so he dropped down. I grunted with the effort. "Bill..." I spluttered.

Bill continued walking, now, and smiling.

My mom got out of her car with a bunch of forms and folders. She closed the door and began to walk up to the house.

I waited in fear, awkwardly clutching Bill's arm so he stayed on the ground.

My mom walked up, but flinched when she saw us both standing there. She walked up slowly. "Uh...Eleanor, hi, who's this?"

My legs shook. I released my grip on Bill, luckily he remained standing. "This...this is the Bill guy I had talked about. " I informed her.

My mom nodded.

Bill smiled even bigger. "You've talked about me?" Bill leaned down and gave me a big hug.

I blushed with embarrassment.

My mom inspected us. "So are you-"

I burst out of Bills arms. "No! Anything but that!" I cried out a little to loud.

My mom's eyes widened. "Ok? Well, I have three jobs that I have good chances at."

I stayed silent. How do you reply to that?

"So...that is a good thing." She explained.

"Good."

Bill intervened our awkwardness. "Hey! Wanna see what I can do?!"

I frowned. Oh no.

My mom smiled awkwardly. "Sure."

Bill walked up to her. He was taller than her too! He put his hands together then drew them apart. In his hand was a rubber snake.

My mom gasped. "How'd you do that?" She asked astonished.

Where's the horrible side of this? I wondered. Bill always flips it somehow...

"Here!" Bill handed it to her.

My mom took it slightly confused. "Uh, thanks?"

Bill snapped his fingers.

"Did you pull it fr-" She broke off as it started to move. My mom screamed as it turned out to be alive and it constricted around her.

There it is... I ran up and tried to pull it off. "Bill!!!"

Bill was to busy laughing. "Ah, humans, so gullible." In his laughing fit he started to hover.

"Bill!" I said through gritted teeth.

Bill ignored me, but my mom didn't notice, because of the snake strangling her.

Finally I pulled it off. I looked down at it and it was plastic again. "What the?" I looked at Bill again.

He was defiantly floating now. "BILL!" I screamed.

Bill noticed and stopped floating, but he still smirked at me.

My mom took in deep breathes. "Uh, how...how did you do that?" She breathed.

I gazed at Bill, awaiting an answer.

Bill smiled. "Well, see, I am a magician." He lied.

Luckily, he had common sense for a regular lie.

I nodded and stood at his side. "Yah. A magician. Isn't...that cool?"

My mom seemed to ignore me, because she just walked on by and into our house.

Bill started to walk, but I pulled him back.

My mom disappeared in the house.

I pulled Bill down to my level. "What the heck Bill?!" I said angrily. "She probably thinks your a major creepo or something!"

Bill smiled. He was always smiling. "You're mom has got to love me! I'm a 'magician!'"

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, c'mon Arrow, show me around your house!" He begged.

"No. You are weird. Just...go."

"Oh well, I guess I get to tour myself!" Bill flew over to the door and opened it.

"Bill! You can't fly!" I darted forward.

Bill dropped down on his feet once he was inside the house. "Aw, looks like you are going to show me around." He looked down at me.

I clenched my teeth together and suppressed a growl. "Ok. Here's the living room. My room, kitchen, parents room, bathroom." I didn't even take him in, I just pointed at their locations. "Let's go now."

I yanked Bill out of the doorway.

"I didn't even get to actually see your room." Bill complained.

I growled. "No. we are gonna find a different place for you."

Bill suddenly flamed up and turned red. "You stop ordering me around stupid mortal!" He screamed.

I fell back.

Bill was not floating above me.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered.

Bill dropped back down and turned normal. He brushed back his hair. "Good. Now are you going to show me around or do I have to teleport you with me myself?"

I sighed. "Fine, I'll show you my room, but that's it."

Bill nodded curtly.

I had never expected Bill to do that. It was honestly terrifying. He was so mad. I guess I have to be more careful around him...

I walked into the house. I guessed my mom was in her room, working on what ever you do to apply to the best job.

I went down the hall and opened my room. It was so awkwardly placed, but at least a decent size.

Bill floated in and hovered over my bed in a laying position. "Nice room Arrow, a lot smaller than the mind-scape though."

I sighed inwardly. What am I going to do with Bill? "Well, you've seen my room. Can we go now?"

Bill frowned pitifully. "I have no where to go, can't I stay?"

I let out an exasperated huff. "Fine! Do whatever you want for all I care! I'm leaving!"

Bill waved happily as I slammed the door in his face.

I stomped out of the house. I was going to find Dipper. It was all over, it was time to amend our ways.

ERMAGOD been wanting to put human Bill in one of my stories for soooo long! So happy! Soooo HAPPYYY! How can you not love human Bill?!