Song: 'Demons' - Imagine Dragons

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I have not long walked in through the door laden down with four heavy bags of groceries. The contents are scattered across the kitchen worktop as I busily put items away in the walk-in pantry, larder cupboards and the fridge.

I hear the French doors click open and then slam shut hard with a bang. Even from the kitchen, the force is so loud I jump.

"Harry, is that you?" I shout towards the hallway.

There is no reply but I hear his boots tapping quickly along the parquet wooden floor. They are moving away from the kitchen not towards it.  I can just make out he is talking to someone on his phone so he is probably heading to his study to finish his call.

Harry was quiet when we returned home from Grimmy's last night and despite there being nothing in his diary until this afternoon, he left early this morning before I even woke.  He usually comes to find me immediately he gets back so I'm surprised at his change in routine. Also, unusually I have had no contact with him today. 

I finish putting the shopping away and go in search of him. I do not need to look very far as when I reach the study door I can hear him banging around. I knock on the door but he does not answer so I tentatively push it ajar. He is sat at his desk with his back to me, head in hands and does not look round or say anything as I enter.

"Hi, are you ok? There is still no acknowledgement of me on his part.  "Harry?"

He spins around on his chair and growls. "What?"

I lift both hands up in defence, "Ok, bad day?  Want to talk about it?"

"No."  His response is curt.

"I'm making some supper and I'll shout you when it's ready then." I am trying to remain calm as I cannot recall a time when he has ever been this offish.

"Don't bother, I'm going out!" His tone is defensive.

"Oh, I didn't realise, nevermi-."

"We're not joined at the hip you know Natasha, I can go out when I want."  He interrupts me.

"I know, I didn't mean anything by it. I'll just prepare something for me then."  I turn and swiftly leave.

Five minutes passes and he is shouting my name repeatedly.  I enter the study again and he is quite clearly more agitated than the last time I was in here.

"What is the password for the Mac?"  He practically spits the question out his mouth.

"Oh yeah, sorry.  A request came up to change it when you were in the States so I-."

"Well next time tell me so I know and don't have to waste time I haven't got." His tone is sarcastic to say the least.  "Also, when are these boxes of yours moving, they are annoyingly in my way?"

"I think someone needs to go out of the door and come back in again.  Please don't talk to me like that Harry."  I stand there almost in disbelief at the way he is acting and wait for him to apologise but he just huffs and ignores me.  Blimey, what is eating him?  He is like a bear with a sore head.  I am glad he is going out.

Another five minutes passes and he is hollering again.  I try to ignore him but his shouts are getting louder until I cannot take it anymore.  I fly into the study.  "For crying out loud Harry, what now?"

He is stood over his desk desperately searching for something in a drawer.  He is rummaging through the contents that are spilling out all over the floor.  When he fails to find what he is after, he slams the drawer shut with such force the back of the desk bangs against the wall and makes me jump in the process. 

"Why can I never fucking find anything?  Where are my car keys?"  He asks flatly, not even looking round at me. 

"Which car keys?"  It is an honest question because he has three cars sitting in the underground garage.

He glares round at me with intolerance and shakes his head.  "Don't start, you know full well, the Range Rover keys." 

"They are in my handbag.  We needed some groceries and the boot of my car is a bit small so I took your bigger car."  He said I could use his car today as he was being picked up for studio rehearsals.

He looks furious.  His eyes are wild and he is red in the face.  "Natasha, I offer to buy you a Range Rover, you say no then all you do is drive mine.  Well not anymore, keys now."  He holds his palm out flat to me. 

"Harry, please don't talk to me like that."  I fold my arms across my chest in vexation.

He ignores me. "Keys."  His request is not a request, it is more like an order.

"No, I'm not giving you the keys until you apologise.  I don't expect to be talked to like that, it's out of order."

He has not an ounce of emotion across his face or in his tone.  "Give me my goddamned keys."

At that, I simply turn and walk out of the study as I am not prepared to put up with being spoken to like this.  He grabs the study door just before it closes and yanks it back open, striding down the hallway after me and shouting.  I have experienced cross Harry but never red-hot angry Harry. 

"Give me my keys Natasha."  He is so worked up, he can only utter the same words as he frantically runs his fingers through his hair in agitation.

I reach the kitchen with him hot on my heels.  I grab my bag and rifle through it to find them as he stands there impatiently huffing and puffing and sighing.

"For God's sake hurry up, oh there we go at last!"  His tone is so mocking I am tempted to throw them at him but when I glance towards him the blacks of his pupils are so enlarged I can only make out the faintest of green in his eyes.  His mouth is shut tight, lips pursed.  Deep lines furrow on his forehead and his shoulders are hunched over.  He is more than angry, he is raging.

"Harry, you are really angry and I don't think you should be driving until you've calmed down."  My eyes plead with his but he just stiffens his body and raises his voice further.

"Just give them to me."  His fists are clenching at his sides, heat radiating off him.

"Harry please, please calm yourself."

"Fuck, don't tell me to calm myself.  Natasha, I won't ask you again, g i v e m e m y k e y s N O W!"  He bellows in pure anger.

There is no way I am going to part with the keys and let him drive in the state he is in. I close my hand tightly around them but as I move my hand behind my back Harry lunges towards me.  Immediately, the key fob is falling from my grasp and it hits the floor with a crash.  My chin falls to my chest as both my hands come up and over my head and my palms cradle my head with my forearms to protect my face.

"Please don't hit me."  Slips in a desperate whisper from my lips.

Time stands completely still. 

My whole body prepares for the strike, the slap or the punch but nothing comes.  My feet shuffle backwards and my back hits the kitchen cupboards behind me with a thud.  My knees give way and I slide down the wooden door, sinking to the floor.  I have to make myself small to protect myself.  I lift my knees, holding them tightly into my chest with one arm, the other arm still around my head for protection.  My heart is beating so hard it feels like it is going to rip out of my chest.

From the floor, I can just make out the black boots on Harry's feet take a big step backwards and away from me. 

"Whoa, wait, what?"  Harry's tone immediately changes, all anger gone and replaced with sheer shock.  "No, no, no, Natasha, no".  He crouches down to my level but as his hand reaches out to touch my arm, I flinch, pulling myself into an even tighter ball.

"No Natasha, please look at me, please."  His voice is cracking, completely strained. He tries to reach out to me again but as his fingertips skim against my skin, I begin to shake. The cupboard door I am resting against bangs harder and harder as my body shakes more violently.

"Don't touch me."  I whimper.

Harry falls forward onto his knees, reaching out to me but stops and withdraws his hands back to rest flat onto his thighs.  "Natasha."  I can hear the break in his voice that he is fighting to hold back tears.  "I would never, never ever strike you.  I was simply reaching for the keys." 

"Bullshit, your hand, you had-, your hand was raised, that that look in your eyes, I saw the look in your eyes."  My legs feel tinglingly numb and I cannot get up so I crawl onto all fours away from him and into the corner to cower. "Please stay away from me."

"Natasha, listen to me.  You're scaring me.  I'd never hurt you, you know I never would.  Please, you have to believe me. Natasha please.  I'm sorry."

"I have seen that look before."  I release the hold on my head to reach just below my left eye along the top of my cheekbone.  My face under my fingertips is hot and wet from tears.

"Oh no, my God."  Are the only pained words that come out of Harry's mouth.

"I don't want you near me, please leave me alone, I need to be alone."  I am now rocking backwards and forwards to try and calm my shaking down.

"Natasha, I-." 

Then without warning, I am up and running, running out of the kitchen, across the hallway and up the stairs taking two at a time, running down the landing towards the door at the end like my life depends on it. I practically fall over the threshold and hurriedly shut it behind me. I can barely breath as I sink to my knees once more, crawl into the safety of the corner of the room and back into my ball in the darkness.