The Vackers were a pretty bunch

Most of them I'd like to punch

The father always told everyone

"No reason to worry," None

But alas he was always wrong

That's when someone called "swan song"

The mother was not a fragile beauty

She could kick a person's booty

The eldest child was a lost cause

Because he broke so many laws

The youngest girl was by far the best

You could tell by the way she dressed

But this ballad isn't about any of them

It's the last Vacker, not our beloved Sencen

For this little boy, he claimed to like one

The girl named Sophie Foster

Who's supposed to love our cinnamon bun

While Fitz remains an imposter

He loved a girl named Chandi McLier

T'was a secret love they had

though it was quite, very clear

But Aunti Ro knew it was bad

Fitz Vacker loved an object

He loved the chandelier in his foyer

It seemed to a brain effect

And he became the annoyer

His friends tried to tell him

"You love an inanimate object!"

his head was very dim

and he was not very perfect

But Fitz Vacker the Ritz cracker refused

And made out with his chandelier

Looking like a dancing octopus, confused

hanging by the little sphere

And that is the ballad

of Fitz Vacker the hysterically mad.

Keefe: Wow Ro, I didn't know Fitz liked that crystal chandelier in his foyer. Should we expose him?

Ro: Nah *sips tea* I wanna see how this plays out.