ACT i. CHAPTER i.
ST. AIDAN'S MENTAL FACILITY

HE AWAKENED WITH A START, tanned, freckled skin slick with sweat that glistened like diamonds against the morning light streaming in through the window of his room. His heart was pounding so fast that it felt like it was going to explode at any given moment, and his breathing was labored. He clenched his fists to stop his hands from shaking as he began rapidly moving his legs around to kick the blanket off his body. Swinging his feet over the side of the bed, Henry Winchester closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Then, he began counting.

One . . . two . . . three . . .

This was a method that he had been using for years now. But today was the first time he's had to use the technique in almost a week. A week that he had told his doctor was perfect, until now. Until he woke up from that dream again with pajamas drenched in sweat and skin like diamonds against the golden sun.

Once his heart calmed down to a steady rhythm and his hands and body weren't trembling anymore, Henry got up from the edge of the bed. He crossed the room in three strides, grabbing a change of clothes as well as everything he would need for a shower from the dresser, before leaving the room.

Nobody was at the bathrooms except for the two guards that were always stationed outside in case there was an emergency and a patient needed some assistance inside. Henry gave them both a nod as he entered the men's bathroom. He found an empty shower, undressed, and stepped under the water to wash away the nightmare.

Once he felt refreshed enough to go about his day, Henry turned off the water and reached for a towel to dry off with, getting dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a white tee. Drawing back the shower curtain, he headed toward a random sink to brush his teeth and comb his hair, before disposing of his towel in the dirty laundry bin and leaving the bathroom to go back to his assigned room.

Henry made his bed and then glanced at the clock, which read eight forty-nine in the morning. Only eleven minutes left before his morning appointment with Doctor Adkins. He made sure his entire room was tidy before leaving, and he arrived outside Doctor Adkins' office at precisely nine o'clock in the morning.

"Good morning, Henry," he greeted with his signature polite smile while gesturing toward the empty seats across from his mahogany desk. "Come in, sit down. How are you this morning?"

Henry closed the door and crossed the room, sitting down in one of the comfortable chairs. "I had the dream again."

Doctor Adkins pulled off his glasses, a small sigh falling from his lips. It had been almost a full week since Henry had that dream again, and he had sincerely hoped he'd never have it again. But here they were, discussing it once more. "I see," he said, intertwining his fingers and placing them on top of his desk. "Why don't we talk about the dream, Henry?"

There was a short pause where Henry seemed to hesitate, but then he nodded his head and cleared his throat. "It started off the same way," he began. "Me and Kaylie were in the bedroom upstairs. I was crying because I was so scared of what was going to happen. She was trying to be strong for the both of us, but I could see how scared she was, too."

"That was very brave of her," Doctor Adkins smiled gently.

"Yeah," Henry agreed as he stood up from the chair. He paced the room for a moment, stopping at the window and looking down at the courtyard where there were patients sitting on some benches and feeding the birds that visited the hospital quite often.

"And then what happened?" Doctor Adkins asked, even though he already knew what came next. He had heard Henry Winchester tell him about the exact same dream for the past eleven years and nothing ever changed. Not a single word.

Images of the dream flashed in his head, and Henry closed his eyes for a moment to calm his heart rate before licking his lips and opening his mouth to speak.

"We were standing in the bedroom and she peeked out the door to see where he was," Henry continued. "She could see our dad pacing in the hallway outside the master bedroom, the gun in his hand. I told Kaylie that we should stay where we were, but she insisted that we make a run for it. I was so scared to even move, but she took my hand and told me that everything was going to be okay. I trusted her. I always did back then."

Henry looked away from the window, meeting Doctor Adkins' gaze from across the room. "Kaylie opened the door and we ran downstairs. We tried opening the front door, but it was stuck. It wouldn't open no matter what we did. And when we turned around, he was standing there. Only . . . it wasn't our dad this time."

Doctor Adkins tilted his head to the side, a confused look twisting his features. "Are you saying that it wasn't your step-father holding the gun, Henry?"

Henry nodded, eyes slightly glazed over, as though he was reliving the dream again the more he talked about it.

"Who was it holding the gun?" Doctor Adkins questioned. This had never happened before in any of their sessions. For the past eleven years, Henry has only ever mentioned that it was his step-dad, Alan Russell, that was holding the gun and pulled the trigger on both him and Kaylie right before he would wake up from the dream.

"So strange," Henry whispered while shaking his head in his disbelief. "It had never happened like this before in any of my other dreams. When we turned around, it was . . . me. But not me then, me as I am now. I was holding the gun and I slowly brought it up." He raised his hand, making a gun with his fingers. "And then I fired."

Doctor Adkins' eyebrows shot up.

After imitating what he had done in the dream, Henry slowly lowered his hand, a far away look in his dark eyes. "As many times as I've had this dream . . . it's never been me before. Holding the gun. Pulling the trigger."

"I know," Doctor Adkins said. There was a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes that resembled pride, which confused Henry when he saw it.

"What does it mean?" Henry asked with concern.

"It's a very good thing, Henry," Doctor Adkins assured. "It implies a true, deeply-rooted acceptance of responsibility for what happened that night. And it tells me that you haven't only overcome your delusion in your conscious mind . . . but in your subconscious mind as well."

"So . . . I'm okay?" Henry asked.

Doctor Adkins smiled, eyes crinkling around the edges. "Yes, Henry. What you experienced in your dream was nothing but acceptance, and that is an important aspect of your recovery. You now know the truth of what happened that night and have thrown out all delusions that your mind tried to convince you were real over the years, and you're accepting reality."

Henry nodded, a faint smile reaching his lips as he collapsed into a chair and leaned back to relax for the first time that morning.

"I can see that this brings you much relief," Doctor Adkins observed.

"It does," Henry replied. "I just . . . I want to get better. I don't want to be haunted by the past anymore."

"We don't ever bury our demons, Henry," Doctor Adkins reminded him. "We simply learn to live above them. To move on and overcome those fears. Which, I am proud to say, you have, Henry."

Henry smiled, ducking his head and looking down at his lap. He had never heard those words come from a male figure before. His grandparents, father and step-father had never been proud of him before. At least not that he can remember. But Doctor Adkins was proud of him and that made his heart soar. Someone was proud of him. Finally.

"Will your sister be visiting for your birthday this weekend?" Doctor Adkins asked, breaking Henry from his thoughts.

"Uh, no, I don't think so."

Doctor Adkins tilted his head to the side as he stared at the boy. "Why don't you want her to come here anymore? Did something happen during her last visit that you haven't shared with me?"

"No," Henry replied quickly. "I just . . . I didn't want her to see me like this anymore. I want her to see me when I'm better. When I'm not . . ."

"You're not crazy," Doctor Adkins said, already knowing where the boy's train of thought was going to. He had heard Henry say that word one too many times and he didn't particularly like the sound of it. "You experienced a series of traumatizing events and you developed a severe case of post traumatic stress disorder, but that does not make you crazy, Henry. If anything, that makes you strong. Because you survived all of that darkness and are sitting here today, healthy and brave and loved."

"Now," Doctor Adkins said, audibly clearing his throat. "Ahem. I believe that seeing your sister again will be a good thing for you, Henry. It's been months since you last let her come here, and while I had respected your wishes and allowed you to revoke her visitation rights, I believe it's about time we reinstate them. Besides, you need someone else to talk to other than me."

When Henry was younger, he got along with some of the patients that were around his age. But when he got older, he started distancing himself from everyone, even his older sister after a little while. He didn't want anyone to see him in such a fragile state, so he pushed everyone except for Doctor Adkins away.

"I like talking to you," Henry frowned. "You help me . . . care about me."

Doctor Adkins smiled, the words warming his heart. "I am fond of our conversations as well, Henry. But, it isn't healthy to push people away. If you truly want to get better, then you have to let people in. Try talking with some of the other patients, participate in some of the activities that require more than one person, and let your sister come visit on the weekends again. You need to engage more so that you don't feel so alone. Do you think you can do that, Henry?"

The Winchester hesitated for a moment. He was frightened of letting someone in like that again, but he nodded his head, knowing that Doctor Adkins was right. He needed to engage if he wanted to get better, because only communicating with one person wasn't exactly healthy for him.

"Yeah," Henry said, nodding faintly, but just enough for the doctor to notice and smile at the sight of it. "Yeah, I can do that."

"I'm very pleased to hear," Doctor Adkins said. "Now, is there anything else you want to talk about before you have your breakfast?"

Two days had come and gone relatively quick, and late that Friday morning at precisely nine-thirty, Dr. Jeremiah Adkins found himself sitting in the conference room of St. Aidan's Mental Facility surrounded by the hospital committee as they discussed their patient, Henry Johnathan Winchester, regarding his health and mental status as of right now.

"I understand, Doctor Adkins, that over the past eleven years, the patient has been receiving regular care here at St. Aidan's Mental Facility?" Sandra Hemming questioned, speaking directly to the doctor seated across from her at the table. She was an eldery woman in fifties and had recently lost her husband due to a car accident that had made the front page headlines, the slight bags under her eyes and the black clothing all signs of her grief. "And this includes the proper medication and weekly appointments, I presume?"

"Yes," Doctor Adkins nodded. "As you know, I've been Henry's doctor since he arrived at this facility. I see him every morning for an appointment, just before breakfast, during which we discuss what brought him into my care and how he is feeling. Henry has also been prescribed three medications, all of which you will find listed in his file."

"Everything appears to be in order and the patient, as far as we are concerned, is thriving here under your care, Doctor Adkins," Thomas Puckett said. He was part of the five person committee at St. Aidan's Mental Facility, and has been for the past thirty years. He loved his job, and even though he had recently been offered a job at a hospital in San Francisco, the man didn't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

"Agreed," said Kimberly Erving. She was well into her thirties and a diamond ring rested on her slim finger from the man seated to her left. Both she and Richard Erving had met and fallen in love during their time working for the hospital. They've been together for eight years now and were still going strong. If Doctor Adkins had heard correctly, the couple was even expecting their very first child in eight months.

"Now, it says here that Henry Winchester was ordered by the state to be discharged from the St. Aidan's Mental Facility on the day of his twenty-first birthday," Sandra Hemming said, glancing down at the file which contained all the patient's information. "But, before the committee signs the release papers, we would like to know your honest opinion regarding the patient's health, Doctor Adkins."

"Is the patient stable enough to handle the transition into society?" Kimberly asked.

"Most importantly," said Richard, "do you believe him to be a danger to himself and others?"

"There was a time you could've asked me that question and I would have told you all to put your pens away," Doctor Adkins began. "I would have told you that Henry wasn't well enough to leave this facility. That he needed constant care and support. But now?" A faint smile tugged at his lips. "I am pleased to tell you that day will never come."

"Please, go on," Michelle Baulker urged the doctor to continue speaking when he paused for a moment. She was young, a fresh face to the committee. She didn't know anyone at St. Aidan's well enough just yet, but she didn't have to know him at all to see how proud Doctor Adkins was of his patient.

"Henry struggled with the truth for many years," Doctor Adkins went on. "His subconscious buried it deep down as a way to cope with the pain and trauma of what happened, and it made him believe something that wasn't true. It wasn't until the past few months that Henry was able to face the truth and come to terms with what happened."

Doctor Adkins cleared his throat before continuing. "Henry would tell me a story during our sessions. It was always the same, though. Not a single word would change, not even after eleven years. But two days ago, that story had finally changed."

"And what does this change mean for his health?" Michelle Baulker questioned.

"It implies that Henry had accepted the responsibility of what happened that night," Doctor Adkins explained. "He has not only overcome the delusions in his conscious mind, but in his subconscious mind as well.

"That is very good to hear," Kimberly said, lips tugging back into the faintest of smiles. She was always pleased to hear that a patient was recovering well within their hospital.

"Indeed," agreed Richard.

"It's in my professional and honest opinion that Henry is a healthy adult who represents no danger to himself or anyone else," Doctor Adkins continued. "And I believe he should be discharged, as the state requested, on his upcoming twenty-first birthday."

"Well," Michelle Baulker said, closing the patient's file and leaning back in her chair. "Then it is settled. If the patient is in good health and isn't a danger to himself or others, I don't see why he shouldn't have a life outside of these walls." She picked up her pen, signing her name on the release papers, before sliding it down the table for the next member of the committee to sign.

One by one, each of the five members of the St. Aidan's Mental Facility committee signed their name on the release forms, which had previously been signed by the state in advance of this meeting. And when the last member signed their name, Dr. Jeremiah Adkins couldn't help but smile.

Finally, after all of these years, his patient was going to be released. And he couldn't be more proud of the improvement Henry Winchester has made with his health.

"You've done excellent work with Mr. Winchester over the years," Richard Erving said, rising from the conference table and smoothing down his suit tie. "I believe that it is only proper that he receives the news from you directly."

"I would be honored to tell Henry the news," Doctor Adkins replied, and they could see the truth of it in his eyes. He rose from the table, leaning over the top of it to shake each of their hands. "Thank you for your time."

It took less than ten minutes for Dr. Jeremiah Adkins to find Henry Winchester. His patient was sitting at a table in the game room, playing a round of checkers with another patient, whom he recognized as Brian Oliver. Their newer patient was a few years older than Henry was, but they were pretty close in age and their rooms were only a few doors apart from each other.

Doctor Adkins wasn't sure how or even when it had happened, but at that moment, he didn't really care. He was just happy that Henry had started to engage with people again. Even if it was just a friend that he would only know for a few more days before his release, it was progress nonetheless and he was proud of Henry.

The doctor decided not to disturb the pair considering they were getting along so well. Smiling, chuckling, making playful jabs at each other. He let them finish their game, and when Brian left the table to use the restroom, Doctor Adkins approached the table. He sat down opposite of Henry, who was setting the board up for another game.

"I see you've made yourself a friend."

"Yeah, uh, I'm trying to engage," Henry shrugged. "Just like you said."

"And I'm glad you are," Doctor Adkins said, moving to help Henry set up the board for a new game.

There was a brief pause before Henry spoke. "Why are you here, Doc? I mean, I usually only see you in the morning. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen you in the game room before."

"Well, Henry, I've come to you with good news," Doctor Adkins said cheerfully. "I had a meeting with the committee this morning regarding your health. I told them how far you've come since you first got here and that you're ready to leave this hospital. They signed the papers, and you'll be discharged, as scheduled, on your twenty-first birthday."

Henry blinked and his hand paused on the game board, unable to believe what he had just heard. He always knew that the state had scheduled for his release when he turned twenty-one, but he never actually believed that he was going to leave one day. He thought his health would get in the way and that he'd be under constant care and supervision for the rest of his life.

"W-What?"

Doctor Adkins chuckled at his reaction, which caused Henry to break out into a smile. "I know it's a lot to take in right now, especially with your birthday being days away, but you should be proud of yourself, Henry. You've come a long way and deserve to have a life outside of this hospital."

"Does, uh . . . does Kaylie know yet?" Henry asked, still trying to recover from the shocking news.

"Not yet," Doctor Adkins replied with a shake of his head. "But she will. I'm going to call her this afternoon and pass on the good news. We'll discuss where you'll go when you leave, as I'm sure she is going to be the one to pick you up."

Henry nodded, a smile spreading across his face. He was genuinely happy that he was going to be leaving, but there was a part of him that was disappointed. He was going to miss talking with Doctor Adkins everyday. The man had been there for him since day one, and he wasn't sure how he was going to survive without his daily care and guidance.

"Can you call my dad, too?" Henry asked after a moment. "I haven't seen him in a few years and I want him to know."

"Of course," Doctor Adkins nodded. "John's number is on file, so I'll be sure to give him a call, as well and share the good news. I'm sure both your father and sister will be delighted to hear all about it."

a/n: well, there you have it, the first chapter for my boy henry! i feel like it could have been better in some areas, but it's not terrible, eh? anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are as excited as me for henry to find out what happened to john and for him to meet him sam, dean and noemi!