I got a text from Aunt Naomi saying she was sorry for being busy, but it was finals week for her college students, and she wouldn't have much free time to hang out. I couldn't complain when it was the same for me at Maxwell High.

When I wasn't playing CrusadEon, I was studying to forget that my family had its issues. Every time I bumped into Baba around the house, I was constantly reminded of what Salah had told me, and it pricked my chest. I wondered how to talk to him about it before Mama found out.

The opportunity came that Friday evening. Mama had to go to the pharmacy to pick up her new glasses prescription. Baba offered to go with her, but Mama only told him she didn't want me alone in the house. Baba winded down on the sofa without argument, and his eyes focused on the TV. He had his hands on a gaming controller and a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels beside him.

I slinked onto the sofa right beside him and stayed silent.

Baba glanced at me before asking, "Hey, princess. You wanna watch your old man annihilate these guys?"

I tensed at how casual he was. My body felt too cold.

"No." My response back was sharp.

Baba's eyes widened at the tone of my voice, and he paused Call of War to put his full attention on me.

"Inaya, what's going on?"

I kept my gaze on the black screen of the TV. "Well, what's going on with you?"

"Huh...?"

I didn't know how to skirt the question, and I'd always been honest with Baba, so I said, "Baba, you shouldn't be doing drugs."

He stared at me with shocked, unblinking eyes before he dropped his gaze.

"What are you talking about?" he asked softly.

I refused to back down even though every word was killing me. "I know the smell in the car. Please don't lie about it."

Baba's jaws shifted, and he settled back into the sofa with regret. I waited. The house waited, too, with the only other noise coming from the humming refrigerator in the kitchen.

"I...I never meant for you to find out."

I felt a rush of fury at his response. "It doesn't matter whether I found you out or not! It's a matter that you're doing it—because it's wrong! Why are you doing it, Baba? How can you do that?" My voice had gone from anger to sadness, and my throat was starting to close up. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes.

Baba exhaled through his nostrils and ran a hand through his graying hair. He'd cut the curls off since Mama didn't really like them. I waited some more. He still didn't look my way.

"I'm sorry, Inaya," was all he mumbled.

I nodded, though I was still breathing hard. Why was he doing this? Happy people don't do drugs. Why was he pretending every day as if everything was fine instead of asking someone for help? What was hurting him so much that he was doing this?

"Is it because Mama has those episodes?" I asked him in a low voice.

"No, no."

Bile rose in my throat. 

"Am I doing something wrong?"

"No." Baba leaned forward, elbows propped into his knees, and he shook his head. He folded his hands behind his nape and stared blankly at the carpet. "It's got nothing to do with you."

I could tell he was conflicted. It was obvious he knew taking any amount of intoxicants, whether legal or illegal, was haram. Baba had been so good to me, so loving and understanding for as long as I could remember, that I didn't have the heart to witness him crumbling—something which would happen for sure if I told Mama outright.

"You can tell Mama on your own." Hearing no other response, I left him on the couch while I went to my room to hide there.

I sank into bed. I didn't know what to think. That was my dad. But the thought of him doing drugs made my chest constrict with coldness again. How many times did I laugh and smile with him when he was under its influence? Was it still my baba, or did the high create a fake personality? The house never smelled the way the car did. Did he lie about where he went?

Grandparents upstate. I almost sobbed. He never visited them, did he? He wasn't looking for a time to let me see them, either.

Hey

Haven't seen you in a minute

Valentino's attentiveness to my logging in was usually enough to put a broad smile on my face, but today it wasn't enough. With a small sigh, I began typing out a response.

Yeah

I haven't been feeling well

"What happened? Are you sick or something?"

Hearing Valentino's worry over me warmed my heart. I bit my lips as I thought about what to tell Valentino.

Oh not really

Probably just this frickin' NYC weather

Really hot this time of the year and so much studying, ugh

"Wait. You live in NYC, too? So do I!"

I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. I had let it slip where I lived! I closed my eyes briefly to focus. Tens of thousands of people had to be playing the game here. This was no reason to freak out.

Wow

What a coincidence!!!!

Honestly this is great

We should meet sometime!

I swallowed hard and stared at the chat.

Yeah!

But what would we do?

Dunno

Maybe we can quest together side by side

That'll be fun :)

For safety reasons, I would never consider meeting someone online. But this was Valentino, and I wanted to talk to him as I did online. If he could love Tireya, he could love me. We're the same person!

My shoulder slumped. I recalled the rushed tutorial and the refusal to have lunch with me. No, he likes Tireya so much that he'd stopped being nice to me.

Valentino would have to be okay with just talking through text and voice chat. That's all Tireya could be for him.

But I'm shyyyy

Have you heard about the newest update?

Theyre giving all lvl 30+ bosses an additional 10% attack?

Yeah, it's completely rigged

They say certain bosses have to be fought over again to continue questing :/

What????!!!!!

Sooo unfair

It was enough to distract Valentino from wanting to meet me in person, but what if there was a next time?

"Are you feeling better, by the way?"

Yeah I am! :)

Thnx

"Is it because of that thing you said happened the other day?"

I shut my eyes briefly. The feeling of finding out my dad's secret echoed through me like a cold wind.

I can't believe you remember!

And yes, it is

"Sorry that you're going through something. I'm here if you ever want to talk it out."

I know <3

<3

* * *

On Saturday, I knew my dad hadn't confessed to Mama. I couldn't really blame him. Confessing was difficult to tell someone—especially to someone like Mama—who was so strong in faith and considering their history together. But I pursed my lips every time Baba came home later than usual; his excuse of visiting his parents was most likely a lie. But it wasn't right for me to expose Baba, even though it broke my heart to think about his secret, so I decided not to follow up with Aunt Naomi about it either.

Things weren't much better at school. Salah would show videos and pictures of Elsa's social media, where Valentino tended to show up during their cheerleader practice. Not to mention, he was going to soccer practice during our shared lunch break and after school. I was desperately clinging onto CrusadEon Online to keep myself in his life.

Do you know that famous ice cream place

At 97th and Union St.

SO good

They have free wi-fi too, in store

We should hang out there sometime

Just playing and ice creaming

Ice creaming sounds sooo good right about now

But I don't think my parents will let me lol

Ahh

Okay

You gotta hit twice and then use your skill to do max damage

Oh right

I keep forgetting

:P

:)

Whats your favorite flavor

Mine's vanilla

I'd say mint chocolate

Ooooh that's an uncommon one

I like it

;)

I like you

I froze. There were fireworks going on somewhere in the back of my skull, confetti falling between my ears. Oh, and my heart was screaming, too.

Guess I gotta go change my name to mint choco chip

You could :P

Oh man have you seen the time???

I gotta go

Good nighttttt

Hey before you go

I have a soccer game coming up

Final game of the year type thing

Oh that's so cool!!

Are you nervous?

I'm not too worried

Team's been practicing hard

That's good

I'm sure it'll pay off

Maybe you could show up?

Maxwell High School 6:30 pm

I inhaled sharply. By the little city park.

By the little city park

and the bus stop

When is it?

June 2

A Wednesday

I swallowed hard.

I would if I could!!

I'd be on the sidelines cheering for you!!

Yeah

Itd be great haha

A redhead cheering for me on the sidelines

Wishful thinking of me lmao

Gnight!

Goodnight :)

After I logged out of the game, I propped my head with both hands, suddenly light-headed. He wanted me to see him do what he loved. And I would never want to turn down an opportunity like that. But I had to.

Tireya wasn't the girl he thought she was. She was me. The girl who loved starting her school day with your smile and ending it with your voice. I swallowed and brushed away a tear before it could spill.

I'm just another fan girl to you.

* * *

The following Monday morning at school, I sat outside my homeroom early for class. Posters were taped all over the walls on each floor, reminding us about prom. I yawned and scrolled through my messages with Salah, looking for the skirt-waisted pants I'd told my mom about a while back. It would be perfect to wear them for the carnival theme while still being modest.

"Hi, Inaya!"

I looked up and saw Annok's smiling face. "Hey."

"Whatcha doing there?" she asked, sitting on the tiled floor beside me.

"Shopping for clothes. Look at these," I turned my phone so Annok could see.

"Oh my God, Inaya, those are so pretty!" she exclaimed.

"Look how it twirls!" I added, quickly turning my phone back to play an ad.

"They're harmonic," Annok's eyes sparkled as she watched. "You would look so elegant in them!"

I smiled and brought the phone back to my lap. "I'm going to wear them during prom."

"You'll be the most graceful one there then," Annok said. "A beacon of modest beauty. You always are."

"Aw, thanks, Annok!" I blushed at the compliment. "I feel like sometimes I dress like a paper bag compared to everyone else," I mumbled, recalling how Clara showed up in a short, pleated skirt and had the whole school turning their heads. "Especially now when the weather is warmer."

"No way! I've never thought about you like that. Ever." Annok nudged my shoulder. "You know, even Marilyn Monroe made a potato sack look good on her. You have that effect, too."

"You're the best, Annok! Also, don't tell anyone I'm going to prom." I wanted to surprise Valentino. If things played out right, I might even confess to being Tireya.

Annok's eyes widened. "You're so full of secrets, Inaya." Her low voice lowered even more. "CrusadEon and now prom."

I knew she meant it well, but her comment left a bad taste in my mouth. My parents were keeping secrets, too. I guess the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree.

"Good morning, students."

Annok and I looked over to see Mrs. Asaka walk over and unlock the door.

"You're chatty."

"Morning, Mrs. Asaka," I replied, standing.

Annok followed suit. "Hey, Inaya?" she added, following me in.

"Yeah?"

"There's a big soccer game coming up in June. You should be there!"

I beamed at her. "Yeah! I'll be there! Thanks for the invite!"

"No problem. I know Marly the Mascot will want to see you there with his shiny new eyes."

As we parted ways, an idea brewed in my head. Thanks to Annok, I had an idea of how to go to Valentino's soccer game.

* * *

At home, I sat beside my dad on the sofa. It was the middle of the Playoffs for basketball season. Mama was in the kitchen, preparing a snack for them to eat while they watched.

"Wanna watch the game, too?" Baba asked, glancing at me. His shoulders were a little tense. Probably because the last time I'd ambushed him.

"Um...not exactly. I wanted to ask something."

"Yeah?" He looked at me with slight concern in his eyes.

"Can we go to my school's soccer game?"

His shoulders relaxed. "Any reason why?"

I reminded myself to keep calm. It wasn't like I'd been given a miraculous invite to go to the game that I was dying to go to but couldn't since my first reason was to see my crush.

"It's the last game. And my friend Annok is going to be there. She's part of the cheer team."

Baba was silent for a moment. "I'd have to convince your mama," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sure you can do it."

"When is it?"

"June second. Wednesday evening. Ten dollars a ticket. Also, save some food for me. Thanks, Baba!"

"Ah—"

I dashed back to my room before he could finish his sentence, my heart pounding. I was going to see Valentino play on the field firsthand. And Marly, too.