I waved goodbye to Salah and Ameena after school before briskly walking to the bus stop. I hadn't seen Valentino since our little hangout at lunch, not even at homeroom at the end of the day, but I saw Annok, Elsa, and Jamie in their cheerleader uniforms, so he likely had practice, too.

When I finally reached the bus stop and settled on the metal bench, my phone screen lit up. I glanced down to see an email notification from CrusadEon Online's newsletter.

battle parley: fight alongside opponents against mob boss aleksander!

US players only! 8-10 p.m. EST!

I felt my chest rise at every word, knowing Valentino was definitely going to be at an event like this. I was forced to put my phone back in my pocket because the bus arrived. Boarding it, I took a seat and unlocked my phone again. There were a couple of restrictions to entering the event, but it seemed doable.

The bus lurched to a stop, and I hit my forehead against the seat in front of me. The older lady sitting diagonally from me made eye contact. I looked away, knowing my face was completely flushed with embarrassment. Thanks for keeping me humble, God.

I looked up at the passing scenery of the little city park through the somewhat grimy window. My eyes narrowed in determination. This was it. Now that I knew the shortcut to leveling up, I could make the Battle Parley requirements and befriend Valentino in-game with Tireya.

* * *

"What's got you so focused?"

I turned to look at my mom. Standing next to me, she looked a lot shorter than five foot one. We were preparing a marinade for tonight's dinner.

My face heated up, and I quickly thought of something.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about how to finish all my work with time for a break." I stopped myself, unable to tell my mom about the game now that I was seriously going to add Valentino on there. Instead, I said, "Also, I have a pre-calculus quiz next week."

Mama leaned forward and used her shoulder to adjust her glasses over her nose since her hands were all spiced up. "I'll have some free time today once I get my report done. I can help you study precalc...or we can go shopping?"

It wasn't every day my mom went out, and I couldn't pass up on the offer. Even if it meant cutting it close to finishing up my homework, leveling up, and entering the Battle Parley.

"Let's go shopping, Mama! And maybe we can go now? After we finish up with this," I added.

"Hmm." My mom submerged the chicken pieces into a bowl of zested liquid and stopped to think. "If we come back by seven, I think it'll work. We'll be home before your father gets here and have dinner ready. Did you pray asr?"

I made a face. "No, but I can right after this."

My mom ignored the look, placing a reusable wrap over the bowl of chicken.

"When you're in college, I'm not going to bother you about it anymore," she said. "But I will for now, so you understand its importance."

I walked over to the sink to wash my hands. "You don't ask me about fajr," I mumbled, referencing the predawn prayer.

"Small steps, Inaya."

At least she was promising to trust me more as I got older.

After finishing my prayer, I opened the curtains to let the afternoon light illuminate the lavender and cream-colored walls, my queen-sized bed, and two bookshelves. The light also touched my two desks, one by my bed for my computer and the second by the attached balcony where I studied.

My closet door unfurled with a satisfying vroom, and I sifted through an array of loose-fitting clothes to wear outside. I stopped to glance at the salwar kameez Mama gave me for my sixteenth birthday last year. It was on top of a box that held an old elephant plush. I gripped the closet door. I wasn't totally upset with the way she raised me—but it was like this house had all the bare bones of a family. There was no stuffing or decoration. 

I learned the major and minuscule practices of Islam—performing the five daily prayers, fasting during the holy month of Ramadan, giving to charity, wearing garments that hid the body's curves, and reciting phrases before eating or leaving the house—but that was it.

Sure, I had biryani some days, but Salah told me I didn't pronounce the 'a' properly. Like a white girl. Which I am, so it's not an insult. But was it a crime to want to be like my mom, too? I didn't even have a stereotypical auntie to complain about. I had Aunt Naomi, but I'd never complain about her. Except for maybe her decision to stick with a fiance who's out of town so much.

I put on my outside clothes and adjusted my hijab as I walked to my parents' room. I expected Mama to be waiting on me already, but instead, I saw her sitting on the neatly made bed with her back facing the door.

There was something book-like with laminated pages on her lap, and her hijab and abaya were crumpled on the bed beside her. The scene was all too familiar.

"Mama?" I said. My voice was low, but it sounded like a shout in the deathly silent room.

"Sorry, I can't go. You can still go if you want. Take your baba's card." I swallowed hard and exhaled through my nostrils. "Sorry," Mama repeated.

"No, it's okay, Mama," I said, forcing a happy tone to show my mama that it was okay. I didn't know what caused it, but I understood that if my mama needed time for herself, then it was okay to let her have that time. "We can go another time. Yeah, let's do that."

I turned away and fished for my phone as I returned to my room. With the phone to my ear, I flopped on the bed. And waited.

"Hello, my little princess," Baba greeted at the other end.

"Hi, Baba. Mama's in a sad mood again," I said, staring at the ceiling.

My dad's voice lost its cheer. "Yeah?"

"We were supposed to go shopping, but she froze up."

"Where is she now?"

"In your guys' room."

Baba inhaled and exhaled before speaking. "Don't worry, Inaya. Go shopping if you still want to. You can take my card."

"I kinda don't want to go anymore."

"Okay, then just give your mama some space, okay?"

I rolled to my left side, hiding my face in the bedsheet. "Okay."

"Order some chicken kebabs in fifteen minutes if she's still not feeling better."

"Okay."

"I love you. And your mama."

I smiled a little. "I love you, too," I said before hanging up. I dropped my phone onto the bed and then hauled myself upright.

Things like this happened. If it started at night, with Baba saying, "She had a rough night," then Mama would be monotone for the rest of the next day. If it started during the day, though, it took about fifteen minutes for her to overcome it. If not, the kebabs were usually enough to get her out of it.

I decided to keep my hijab and not change into my home clothes just yet—I hoped my mom would be better in fifteen minutes—and we could still go shopping. In the meantime, I settled back to my desk to log onto CrusadEon Online.

I got a text from Salah about clothes, but my fingers were too preoccupied to reply.

I was in the middle of a group boss battle when I heard the jingle of keys somewhere behind me. I quickly changed the tab to my school website.

"Oh, good," I heard Mama say, "you didn't change out."

I turned to look at her doorway, where my mom stood with the house keys in her hand. A faint pink tinge in her nose was all that was evidence that something had gone wrong.

"Are we going now?" I asked.

"Yes! Let me get ready. Remember to bring a reusable bag," my mom added before turning away.

I turned back to my computer screen and returned to the game to type in the chat that I had to go. My mom's returned enthusiasm was enough to dissipate the partial guilt I felt about the other players fighting on without me. I grabbed my phone and a tote bag, finally replying to Salah as I walked out of my room.

It was something called palazzo pants, and I promised Salah I would look into it.

Some two and a half hours later, I kicked off my shoes in the foyer and continued inside the house. The grey walls greeted us like they always did—with quiet.

I undid my hijab and observed the shopping haul before me. Mama and I bought more than was probably needed, but we knew Baba wouldn't mind. He did tend to wilt in his seat when he looked at his balance statement this first Sunday of the month. A kiss from Mama and a back rub always put a smile on his face after.

"Mama," I said, lifting a pastel-colored blouse from one of the bags. "My friend Salah showed me some pants online. But, like...they look like a skirt. You think I can get something like that and wear it outside?"

"Hmm, that sounds pretty fancy," my mom agreed. "We can go looking for a mall that sells them. Otherwise, buy some online."

"Great!" I beamed. "When I get them, I'm totally showing my friends!"

My mom shook her head with a smile.

I went to my closet to visualize where I'd put all the new clothes when my eyes settled on the salwar kameez wrapped in plastic.

"Mama," I started. I avoided looking at her directly. "How come we don't wear anything traditional?"

"Um, it's hard to fit in them. Having a baby changes your body." Mama heaved the hamper of clothes up into her arms. She looked away from me, and for a moment, I thought she was going to cry. But she looked back at me, and it was all fine. "Now, don't you have homework and studying to do?"

I could've pressed on further, but my mom was right—there wasn't much time left to finish my homework and study before the Battle Parley started. I didn't want her to go into another episode, either.

"Okay, I'll go do that."

With homework out of the way, I had dinner with my mom. Baba hadn't come home, so it was just us and a giant platter of roast chicken with a side of pasta. The only noise in the house was our munching and us saying something about my college applications or Mama's puzzles.

I returned to log into CrusadEon Online. I looked at the loading screen and then at my phone on the desk. I was cutting it close; with a little more than an hour to go, I needed to find him. And soon.

"What's that?"

I spun around in my chair at my dad's voice. He was leaning against the door frame with a cold drink in his hand. I was grateful Mama wasn't with him.

"I didn't even realize that you were here. Wait, did you just get home?" I glanced at the clock, which said it was a little past ten. "It's so late. We had dinner without you. It was really good, too."

"Um, yeah..." Baba blinked a couple of times. "I swung by to see my parents for a bit after work."

His words felt like I'd been whacked with something in the chest.

"You went upstate? You could've told me. The last time I was with them was as a baby."

I saw something in his face. It twisted like sadness. Guilt. Mama had no family past, and Baba didn't want to make one for the future. Does he feel it, too? This gaping hole where a family should be?

"Maybe one of these days. It's hard to find the time for family get-togethers like that. Anyway," Baba cleared his throat before gesturing towards my screen. "That the game all the kiddos are playing these days?"

I deflated. "Yeah," I said. "My friend gave me her account. I'm playing on it."

"Maybe your old man can play with you, too?"

My heartbeat quickened a little. Adding my dad into the equation would totally complicate my plans to hang out with Valentino in-game.

"Baba!"

"Okay, okay," he raised a hand in defeat, grinning. "I was joking."

"You play that old game COW, or whatever it's called, anyway," I said.

"I don't want to hear any disrespect for Call of Warfare," my dad shook his head and turned to leave. He hesitated. "Your mama won't want you staying up too late," he added.

"Yeah, I know. I won't."

When my dad's head of curly hair finally disappeared from the room, I exhaled in relief and quickly turned back to my computer screen. I accepted the pop-up asking if I wanted to participate in the Battle Parley. Tireya had just made the Level 20 requirement.

Once my character appeared in the unfamiliar snowy landscape, I rushed through the instructions to look for someone wearing Amor of the Sapphire Phoenix through the crowds of players waiting for Mob Boss Aleksander to spawn again. I knew not many would have Valentino's armor set so soon after its release, making it easier to spot him. I didn't get very far, though—the next round had begun—and people were dying left and right under Aleksander's sword.

Tireya ran endlessly to escape the Mob Boss's mad swipes and lunges until I thought there was no fun in running the whole time. Tireya made her way to face Aleksander from the front of the crowd. She jumped to avoid being hit and slashed at the right time, surviving longer than most others who disappeared from the arena after their health bar emptied.

I smiled at how long I'd gotten Tireya to stay alive. My phone lit up, and I turned my head to read it—and Tireya was caught in a swipe of Aleksander's blade. I inhaled sharply and tried to move, only to realize I didn't need to. An Exemplar Defender had blocked the hit with his special move, Sanction of the Pious, and a Templar Knight used his special move, Holy Cry, to deal the finishing blow to Aleksander.

I rushed to type in a thank you to the two players who had helped me, tapping my feet in excitement at the VICTORY hovering over all of us surviving players. I then had Tireya race to retrieve the contents from within the golden chest that had appeared where the Mob Boss once was.

As I looked through the list of items I'd looted, an exclamation icon appeared on the left side of my screen. It was a friend's request—from the Templar Knight in Sapphire Phoenix armor.

I gasped loudly and almost choked as I rushed to accept the invitation, my heart pounding at the name that hovered over him.

My shaking, quick fingers pressed the Decline button.

"No no no no no!" I yelled at my screen. I hard-clicked frantically over multiple people's characters, trying to find his name. After a few harrowing moments, my ears deaf to everything but my heartbeat, I was able to send him a friend's request.

He accepted immediately.

Soryy! Quick fingers! I typed, not caring about the spelling mistake.

No prob

You really thought you could take on Aleksander at your level

Can't say I'm not impressed

Oh, you know, nothing a noobie like me can't handle

Lol

Thanks for the save back there

Anytime

Ready for round two?

You bet

I think I'll be sticking with you tho

Do you mind?

Nah

Was just going to tell you to stay close to me lol

Haha, you got it! ;)

Love that armor on you

We'll get you something hot to look in too

I grinned like an idiot. But I didn't care. I didn't have any reason to hold back when it was just typing over a screen.

* * *

"Inaya...Inaya."

I blinked and turned to look over my shoulder. It was my dad again at the doorway.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Your mama's about to tell you to go to bed soon," he said.

"Oh." I looked at the clock. It was 11:08 p.m.

"Yeah. I know the first couple days of a new game are intense, so I'm warning you in advance."

"Okay, I'll go to bed soon."

My dad nodded and rapped his fingers on the doorway.

"Goodnight, kiddo."

"G'night."

I turned around and rubbed my now tired eyes. They hadn't felt tired before.

Gotta go

Laterz

Night!

Message me if I'm not online when you are

I turned off my computer and stood, stretching my cramped arms when Mama entered the room.

"Oh," she said, "you're still up. Hurry up and go to bed, okay?"

"Okay."

"Also, did you pray isha?"

"No, I will now." I turned around to grab my prayer hijab from the back of the chair.

As she walked away, I stretched again. With six weeks of the school year left, I could keep playing like this for another month before telling Valentino the truth. I smirked on my way to the bathroom. You heard that Fanclub? I have Valentino.