I woke up Sunday... afternoon still in my clothes from yesterday and the same thoughts in my head that where there all night. And I mean ALL night.

You know thoughts like, how soft the kiss was, how soft his lips were! Even how he was looking at me with those deviously beautiful eyes that sucked me right in.

How it made me feel, I felt like I was on fire in the waters of Antarctica. I honestly think I almost passed out.

Then I got to thinking why did I push him away? At the moment it seemed right but now I want to go back to that second or pure bliss, heaven in my head.

Aw cupcakes, wait he called me cupcake one time. Aw sprinkles, I screwed everything up.

Yep, I'm having period cravings, let's go get some doughnuts. Maybe I can bring Noah some? No, he's probably allergic.

You know, maybe if I kiss him again I can figure out whether I actually liked it or not. Yeah I'm gonna do that.

How'd we even get in this position? One minutes I'm yelling in a library because he kept my important bracelet and next I'm going to his house to kiss him? I need serious help.

That reminds me, I can't tell Courtney about ANY of this until I figure it out myself. I can't tellAdam either because he'd tell Courtney.

I need a vent friend.

Okay well I don't know where he lives so I'll have to do it some time this week at school.
——
Monday:

So today's the day I'm gonna kiss him and either be done with it or want more.

Look perfect he's right there... by himself... with no one around.

I'll just walk up to him.

Kiss him.

And walk away.

That's it. Let's do this.

I shut my locker door and start walking towards him. Out of no where one of his buddy's walks up to him.

I swiftly turn around and walk to 2nd period. That had to be a sing from God telling me not to do it. It had to be. That's it. I'm done for the day.
——
Tuesday:

Once again. He's alone all the way on the other side of the hall. Let's do it.

I shut my locker door determined. Maybe a little too much because as soon as I start walking Noah turns around and stares at me. Now we're staring at each other while I walk down the hall like an idiot. Determined to die.

I quickly make a u-turn and walk in the girls bathroom that was somewhat right behind me.

That was so weird and awkward. How was I gonna finish walking up to him if we were staring at each other for like 15 more steps?

I had it all planned out. He has his back turned, I walk up to him, turn his face, kiss, walk away. I CAN'T DO THAT IF HE'S STARING AT ME!

I'm so screwed.
——
Wednesday:

I haven't seen him all day and it's already 6th period. I guess he didn't come to school. Or he's dead.

What the frick, why am I thinking like this? I need to clear my head.
——
Thursday:

He never came to school yesterday so I'm not sure if he will today. I'm kinda hoping not because I feel like this is a sign. Maybe I should just run away, from school and people problems.

Oh crap! There he is! He's going out the back door of the school. I should follow him, now could be my time.

I peep out the crack I made between the door and door way. He's alone, smoking I think? Ew.

I quietly make my way out the door, trying to shut it quietly was a complicated task but I got it.

I get behind him, deep breathe, here we go.

I turn him around and he pulls the cigarette down to his side. I grab his face.

"What are yo-" I cut him off with my lips as they connect with his. Everything goes slow again. He's caught off guard but starts to kiss back.

My insides feel like a roller coaster and my heart is going as fast as a race car.

I pull away too soon and turn around going back to the door with a bright red face.

"Wait!" He gets out but I'm already inside and in the closest bathroom. After a few second of catching my breathe I peek out the bathroom door. I seem to be peeking out doors a lot.

I can see him turning the corner down the hall and then he's gone. I get out the bathroom quietly and make it to first period.

As I'm waiting for class to start I think about the kiss. I can't deny that I liked it, honestly I could go for more but I need to tell Courtney.

I've kinda maybe been avoiding them all week. I'll fill the: in at lunch.
——
It's lunch now so, here we go.

I'm in line for food but not for long as someone pulls on my arm. "Ow- oh hey guys how have you been lately?" When I turned I seen Courtney and Adam so I play it cool.

"Don't 'how have you been?' me, why aren't you talking to us." She asked looking hurt. Oh great now I feel guilty.

"About that, I wanted to tell you about some stuff but I needed to figure something out first. I'll tell you at the table." I turn around and get back in line.

At the table they both stare at me while I'm trying to eat my lunch spaghetti.

I blow out a heavy breathe and tell them, even how I think I like Noah.

"Woo woo!" Adam yells and some people turn their heads.

"That's amazing Abs, go get him now!" Courtney tells me.

"I can't, I don't know if he actually likes me like that." I say sheepishly.

"Uh hello wake up dead girl, he obviously does. You said so yourself, he kissed you!" Adam yells again. More people turn their heads this time.

"Adam shut up!" I whisper yell at him.

"I'm not sorry." He crosses his arms and looks away.

"Look, Abs, he likes you okay? Please believe me." Courtney says. I nod.

"Okay okay."

"Great! Where is he?" She starts looking around the cafeteria.

"Not right now! Are you crazy?" I forcefully move her head back my way.

"Yeah probably." She shrugs.

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!!

<3