{Gif of Julian and Julius}

Song: Love Will Remember

Artist (s): Selena Gomez

It's not your job to like me. It's mine.

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High school is a dreadful place. It's where self-esteem, innocence and dreams go to die. 

High school is drama and fights. Break ups and make ups. It's rushing to grow up, but then realising you want your innocence. It's hurting over someone else. It's getting knocked down over and over again until the point where you question yourself about whether you should just stay down. It's disappointment and lies. It's those knots in your stomach that make you want to cry. It's having a fake smile upon your face so much that people actually believe you're happy. It's hurting but still trying. 

Are the years spent at high school actually the best years of your life or are you just lying to yourself in order to hold onto something that never actually existed? 

I shut my locker with a slight bang, before starting my small trek towards my English Lit class. I had double English today, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed English. It was also a class that I shared with Neel; although he had always been in that class, the difference now was that he would sit next to me. 

Once I entered the classroom Neel was already - surprisingly - present. I sent him a small smile, taking my seat next to him. We didn't make conversation. We didn't need to. The silence was welcomed. Mr Douglas started the lesson with his usual 20 minute rant on the problems of teenagers before addressing today's work.

"What is literature according to everyone?" Mr Douglas asked but when no one answered, his eyes narrowed, skimming the class before stopping on Neel.

"Neel, care to answer?" Neel looked up at him for a second before retrieving his phone and typing something in.

"According to google, it's defined as written works, especially  those considered superior or of lasting artistic merit." Mr Douglas sighed but didn't say anything.

"There are a lot of books that can fit into that definition. And all of these book cover a wide range of topics. Yet, everything can be improved. What is literature missing?" Mr Douglas pinched the bridge of his nose when no one answered again. I shrunk in my seat hoping he wouldn't spot me. He sighed heavily before his eyes landed on me. 

"Olivia. How about you answer at least one question in my class" He raised his eyebrows at me.

Life was such a bitch.

Before I could do anything, I felt Neels hand slide into mine, giving it a slight squeeze. I looked at Neel who was just staring ahead and then back at Mr Douglas. 

"Anytime soon, Miss Greene" Mr Douglas pretended to look at his non-existent wrist watch.

"Not long ago, I read a Children's novel by Louise Fitzhugh's called 'Harriet the Spy'." Mr Douglas seemed shocked but nodded at me.

"I've read that book. Has anyone else?" No one else had. So he asked me to explain the basics of the book. I cleared my throat, breathing heavily.

"Well, it's based around a bratty, precocious budding writer named Harriet who roams around New York's Upper East Side after school, spying on people and jotting down brutally frank observations in a notebook." My voice was quiet. When Neel squeezed my hand once more, it gave me a burst of confidence, that I had never felt before. 

"What most people don't realise is the role that bullying plays in the book. When Harriet's friends find and read her notebook, which includes unflattering notes about them, they punish her with ostracism, mean comments and stares, and the silent treatment. The impact of the bullying, even on a generally tough cookie like Harriet, is devastating." I looked down for a second, feeling the stares on me. I focused on Neels thumb that was moving in a circular motion on my hand instead.

"At a time when the news is full of disturbing stories of bullying — the suicide of a 12-year-old girl bullied on social media, the alleged rape of a boy by other boys at a sports-team retreat, racial slurs and physical brutality in fraternities — reading 'Harriet' started me thinking about bullying in literature. We are used to thinking about books as love stories, or coming-of-age stories, or war novels, or family chronicles. There's no category known as 'the bullying story', and yet bullying is one of the great subjects of literature, and is often a pivotal experience in a character's moral awakening or disintegration." I didn't know where that came from, but I regretted saying anything once I realised the amount of stares it brought on. Most of the stares held disgust in them, but a few, just a few, held guilt. 

"Impressive, Miss Greene" I looked at Mr Douglas and I swear I saw a hint of pride in his eyes. The class went on as usual after this, and so did the rest of school. But nothing can ever stay that way when it comes to me. When the bell lunch went, I stood next to my locker, waiting for Neel as he had asked me to. That was until Michelle ran towards me, Tobias on tow. I unconsciously took a step back. 

"I cannot believe you fucked Neel in order for him to beat Tobias up, you slut" Michelle yelled pushing me back against the locker. My eyes flickered to Tobias, who had a black eye and a swollen nose. 

"Did it hurt? Now you know how it feels" My hands flew to my mouth as soon as those words left my lips, and his eyes blazed up. What was wrong with me? Since when did I say anything to Tobias. I was only digging myself a grave. 

Tobias took a step forward but froze as he stared behind me. An arm slowly wrapped around my waist, pulling me into a body. I looked over my shoulder and saw Neel glaring at Tobias.

"Why do you never learn?" Neel sighed rubbing his forehead. Tobias cracked his knuckles looking between Neel and I. Tobias opened his mouth to say something, but Neel cut him off.

"Don't bother. You'll hurt yourself. Go play in traffic." Neel grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the crowd. From somewhere behind me I heard Michelle scream again.

"I would fucking love to slap her, but I don't want to get slut all over me" Neel froze in front of me.

"Why not? You already have it all over your outfit." Neel yelled over his shoulder, before continuing to walk off with me. We sat out in the courtyard and ate the lunch that Neel bought in silence, until the bell rung again, and we had to go in with out day. 

When the school day finally ended, Neel parked along the driveway of his house, turning to face me.

"I have something for you" Neel got out of the car, running over to my side, opening he door for me. I thanked him, waiting for him to lock his car and then unlock the front door. Neel walked upstairs motioning for me to follow him. Once we were in the hallway, Neel pulled open a squared attic door on the ceiling - which I never realised was there - and a ladder slid down. Neel climbed up the ladder and through the hall, sticking his hand out once he was inside, helping me inside.

"I understand that everything can get a bit much at times, so I made this room for you. You can come here whenever you want to be alone." It was beautiful. It was decorated with lights, and there was a makeshift mattress pushed against a window, with dozens of pillows everywhere.

My heart clenched at his intention. That's when I realised. It only takes one person.

It takes one person to make you feel special, valued and like you belong in this world.

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Updates will be slow up until 15th June. What are your thoughts on the relationship between Neels and Olivia?

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