Zhan and Yibo had completely lost their mind.

Rationality? gone.

Ability to think of right and wrong? gone.

Control? gone.

The smell of alcohol lingered, and the intoxication took control, desire, cravings, and longing ran rampant, and all the restraints vanished.

Yibo had pushed Zhan against the wall as his lips were against Zhan's their tongues were dancing with each other, their saliva mixed and their desires flared up.

The thin line of all the emotions lust, love, hate, and anger blurred and they poured their heart into the kiss.

Their hands feverishly roamed on each other's bodies, but the thin wall of clothes was, obstructing their movements. Unlike Yibo, Zhan couldn't handle the never-ending passionate kiss, he needed to breathe so he lightly tapped Yibo's chest as a signal to break the kiss but Yibo who senses had shut down couldn't feel Zhan's trouble.

Yibo's hands gripped Zhan's hips harshly making him moan.

Zhan grabbed Yibo's shoulder and gathered all his strength and pushed him back, the distracted Yibo was also easily moved, while Zhan took deep breathes.

His legs felt like jelly, Yibo was also breathing heavily as he looked at Zhan up and down.

Zhan laughed again, "Wow..." was all he could say before his hand was roughly grabbed and he was dragged out.

Zhan had no idea where he is taken, but soon Yibo made him stand before he took out his keys and started the bike engine and wore his helmet, "sit..."

He said in his cold voice but Zhan was not hearing it, he just swayed here and there, Yibo rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand, "I said sit."

Zhan frowned, "Why are you being so rude?... I am leaving..." Zhan said but Yibo tightened his hold on Zhan's hand making it painful for him, "Xiao Zhan sit down or else you will regret it."

Zhan then sat down on Yibo's bike, and once he was seated properly, Yibo finally started the engine and drove, "Can you drive slowly?" ZHan requested.

And how can Yibo not listen to him, years ago, when Zhan had sat on his bike years ago, Yibo had intentionally driven at a very high speed that had scared Zhan, and at that time he had enjoyed that feeling but not today, so he listened to Zhan's request and drove at a safe speed.

Yibo bought Zhan Simon's old house where he was staying for the time being he still had a firm hold on Zhan's forearm as he dragged him inside the room, before roughly pushing him towards the bed.

Yibo pushed him down before hovering over him, "Xiao Zhan what the hell do you think you are doing?"

Zhan looked at Yibo with his drunk eyes before he smiled, "What am I doing? you dragged me here and you pushed me down, you are the one who is..."

"Why the hell did you kiss me?" Yibo asked his voice a little bit more firm, and Zhan circled his arms around Yibo's neck, "Because I couldn't stop myself...you were so close to me so I..."

Yibo had to use every cell in his body to control himself from attacking this unguarded and helpless man lying under him with his arms around his neck.

Zhan then pulled Yibo's neck towards himself but Yibo broke from his hold and moved back, he had to get away from Zhan or else he might do something he regrets.

Zhan is drunk, he is not in his right mind to take decisions, while Yibo's self-control was slowly slipping, but Zhan grabbed his hand and sat up on the bed.

"Where are you going Yibo?" Zhan asked as he tightly held on to Yibo's hand, "Yibo please don't...leave..." but Yibo roughly yanked his hand away and yelled at Zhan...

"What the hell do you want?! you have already ruined me isn't that enough?!" Yibo said he tightly held Zhan's arms, "Zhan you have no idea how much pain you have put me through you have no idea the effect you have on me...you have no idea!"

Zhan's eyes stung as tears slipped his eyes while Yibo's tears couldn't stop himself as well, "I was so, so, so, guilty about how I treated you, about how I played with you about how I was ready to ruin you...

And the same time I was so mad at you, for leaving me the moment I needed you the most...my parents had died right in front of my eyes, I had seen them being crushed and bleed to death, while I had become disabled then also the guilt of what I had done to you was plaguing me.

I was drowning in so much despair and so much agony and guilt the last thing I wanted was to say sorry to you, I wanted YOUR forgiveness because that would have ended half of my pain but what did you do? YOU GAVE ME YOUR WEDDING INVITATION?! just a few days after my parent's death?"

Zhan was crying hysterically, and so was Yibo, a nerve had popped upon his head and he was trembling as he talked to Zhan his entire face had turned red.

"We made love the whole night, I said sorry to you a lot of times, a had said 'I love you to you countless times while you? you had gone mute you neither forgave me and neither said those words back then WHY DID YOU SLEPT WITH ME THAT DAY? YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST WALKED AWAY AND MARRIED SILENTLY!!!"

Zhan flinched as he listened to whatever Yibo said, while Yibo was shivering like a leaf, he was having a breakdown but he needed to say all these things today, for seven years guilt, anger, and sadness were plaguing his heart and mind.

Yibo then couldn't stand any longer and he sat down on his knees in front of who was also sitting on the bed, Yibo grabbed Zhan's cold hands, Zhan's fingers were entangled together while Yibo grabbed them with his shaky cold hands and placed his head on Zhan's lap.

Both of them crying uncontrollably, in the dimly lit room...in each other's presence pouring out the tears they had been holding in, Yibo then took a deep breath as he looked at Zhan with his tear-stained face.

"It has seven years, it's a long time...a very long time..." Yibo wiped his cheeks which became wet with fresh tears and sniffed, "But...till today I get nightmares about my parents about you...back then you must have hated me a lot right? you must have been very satisfied right? after seeing me suffer.

And then you gave me the final blow and also you took advantage of me right? for me that day we were making love but for you, it was just sex right? just like how I used you? right?"

Zhan vigorously shook his head while Yibo spoke again, "Well congratulations Xiao Zhan because the one who wanted to ruin your years ago, the one who used you as a sex object is living a hellish life...he is punished for everything he did and till this day he is being punished...

You ruined him without doing anything." Yibo had to stop speaking to catch his breath as his shoulders while he cried, his eyes squeezing shut, as he tried to control his voice but everything was useless, "You live your life Zhan let me drown in guilt and anger I am okay...

after all, the reason I am today is all my fault, everything is my fault, all of this could have been avoided, I wouldn't be in so much pain if only I had listened to my friends to my heart...so this anger towards you and myself...this guilt...this pain there is no remedy for it..."

Zhan took a deep breath and sat in front of Yibo, "Yibo please listen to me please..."

Yibo shook his head and tried to move but this time Zhan had a death grip on his he firmly held Yibo in one place, "I SAID LISTEN TO ME PLEASE!" Zhan yelled with desperation and Yibo finally stopped struggling.

Yibo, I know that I have caused you too much pain...I can't imagine what you went through and what you are going through...very easily I handed to my wedding invitation...but trust me I had no idea that your parents had died...if I had known I would have come to you even if you had hated me I swear.

I ran away because I thought that you would get over me. After all, you hated me."

Yibo looked at Zhan with a glare, "IF I HAD HATED YOU I WOULDN'T HAVE BEGGED YOU TO STAY OR SAY I LOVE YOU BASTARD!"

"I AM Sorry FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU...MY REASON FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU WAS HOW YOU TREATED ME IN COLLEGE I KNOW IT IS A STUPID REASON BUT I WAS YOUNG AND SO WERE YOU." Zhan took a deep breath, "I didn't believe you that day...I thought that you were only saying those words because you were sad...I thought you didn't really love me you were only saying those words because you were disturbed

And I am sorry I am really, really sorry Yibo, please forgive me please...." Zhan begged.

Yibo scoffed, "What are you saying sorry it was natural for you to not believe me, after all, I broke your trust anyway." Yibo wiped his face and then looked at Zhan he held his and firmly,

"Fine years ago you didn't believe me, we were young and we made mistakes but what about today? Yibo looked into Zhan's eyes as he said, "What if I tell you that....that...

I. love. you." Yibo said, he finally said the words again, with fear with hesitation and with anxiety but still, he felt he heard lighten and this time he expected a response, he held Zhan's hand tightly, unwilling to ever let go as he stared into his astonished eyes.

Zhan faintly smiled, "Then I would say that...I.love.you. too."

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