Silence followed Tony and I into the car. It hung around for several minutes, until Tony said, "Some of our men are going to send Lucas' body back to his family."

I nodded.

Silence enveloped us. Once again, it was Tony who broke it a few moments later. "You're quiet. I thought you'd be more energetic, considering what just happened."

So, did I.

I went over the words carefully in my mind before I replied, "I was at first, but now... I don't know. I mean, I don't feel as good as I thought I would. In fact, I feel kind of... empty. Which is weird, considering how much I've been looking forward to this-"

"Actually, your reaction is perfectly rational. After all, killing Lucas didn't bring Max back. In a sense, vengeance is nothing more than a hollow victory."

I laughed bitterly. 'Hollow victory', what an apt description.

I sighed. "Maybe. Still though, I'm glad he's dead."

"Agreed."

I leaned my head against the window, closing my eyes. However, they reopened once again soon after.

Straightening myself, I looked at Tony. "You know, for a moment back there, I really thought you had betrayed me."

"Really? You think I'd betray you for the man who killed a close friend of mine?"

An image of Annie flashed in my mind. It wouldn't be the first time that I was betrayed by someone close to me.

"Then why did you point the gun at me when he commanded you to do so?"

Tony was quiet for a bit, then replied, "Honestly, my reason was quite... unprofessional. I wanted him to feel the pain of having his victory snatched away from him, before I took his life. I certainly didn't know you had his drink poisoned - that was a good touch, by the way."

"That still doesn't explain why he believed you would betray me."

"Yeah, about that... there's something I need to tell you."

"I'm all ears."

Tony's eyes darted away from mine, facing the road. "The reason why he did is because I work for him."

My brow furrowed. "What?"

"Rather, I used to. See, it was his family who assigned me as a personal bodyguard for Annie and Max when they were younger, as a gift to their family. Although I worked to protect them both, I still remained under the authority of the Terriers, so Lucas has been communicating with me in private for weeks now, planning this day."

That's why he told Tony to set up a meeting with me.

"Unfortunately for him, Max had already made arrangements in December to have full authority over my contract transferred to his family. Thus, I was not bound to follow Lucas' orders, and so... well, you know the rest."

"So if Max hadn't gotten full authority over you, this encounter could have gone very differently."

Tony's lips set into a thin line as he nodded.

Oh well, at least if I would have died, I still would have taken Lucas with me. Besides, it's not like dying would be so bad, considering I don't have much to live for now.

But even as that thought crossed my mind, I knew it wasn't true. The play, Aimee, my friends, Annie, even for the possibility of things getting better - there was so much I still had to live for, so much I wasn't ready to lose.

And yet, the gaping hole in my heart remained, devouring any happy thought that happened to cross my head.

I sighed. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Go ahead."

"I'm... I'm not sure I made the right decision when I kicked Annie out. I mean, sure she tried to have Dylan's mum killed, but-"

"No, you made the right choice. What she did was uncalled for."

"I know, but... couldn't the same be said bout what I just did? I could have just as easily have just sent Lucas' confessions to the other families and let them handle him, but I had him poisoned. The worst part is, it's not like what I did has given me peace."

"It may not have, but what you did is very different from what Annie did - Annie took out her vengeance on an innocent woman. Killing Lucas may not have given you peace, but it certainly showed your strength, just as kicking out Annie did."

I scoffed. "So basically, your saying that in order to be strong, I must be heartless."

"Considering the kind of life you were born into-"

"Don't," I snapped. "I'm so tired of hearing that phrase! Why must my family name determine the path my life is going to take? I didn't ask to be born into it!"

"Believe me, I understand your burden-"

"No, you don't-"

Glaring at me, he snapped, "Yes, I do. Do you have any idea what it's like to be born into a family that's assigned to guard an important member of The Society? From birth, your entire life is already planned out for you - you have to train to become as proficient as possible in order to protect whoever is placed under their care. You don't get a say in that, because any attempt to leave gets you killed. Matter of fact, I'm even one of the lucky ones - not every master is as nice as Annie and Max.

Despite the life I've been born into, I'm not letting it define me. Everyday, I work towards rising above society's expectations for me. Question is: are you ready to do so as well?"

Honestly, I was so stunned then that I simply nodded in response.

"Good."

Tony turned his eyes back to the road, allowing silence took take hold once more.

A few moments later, he said, "I'm sorry for raising my voice, by the way."

"It's- It's fine."

You've given me quite a bit to think about, anyways.

. . .

Maybe it was as a result of Lucas' death, or the mountain of work that was slowly rising on my to-do list with each passing day, but days seemed to end a lot quicker after my meeting with Lucas.

Honestly, I can't say that Lucas' death brought me peace - most days, I still felt like I was walking around with a gaping hole in my chest. However, as I continued working on myself and attending my sessions with Doctor Rebecca, slowly but surely, I began to heal.

Before I knew it, it was the day of the dress rehearsal of the play. The most memorable thing Miss Delaney said that day was:

"OH MY GOD, WE ARE SO FUCKED FOR TOMORROW!"

Yeah, she actually said that, curse word and all. I don't blame her for thinking so however - two cast members missed the dress rehearsal, and a few of the others in attendance were still stumbling over their lines.

Aimee and I may have also committed to her stress levels, because we adamantly refused to perform the kiss scene (considering the initial agreement we'd had with her, we weren't being unreasonable).

By the end of that session, she was nearly in tears. Personally, I wasn't too nervous...

...until I woke up the next morning and realized that I was bound to kiss Aimee in front of my entire school in less than 24 hours.

. . .

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Till next time!