I am so excited to post this. Oh My GOD. 

Cover is courtesy the winner of my cover contest, the amazing postmeridiem! Check out her stories, I promise you they are as good as her covers! Thank you all for participating, I promise most of you will see your cover as the main cover of TBBH sooner or later. 

Chapter One: That's My Motto Make Love Not War.

My converse clad feet skid to a stop as I try and catch my breath. Resting my hands of my knees, I manage to get my panting under control and then straighten up. Peering around the quad, I'm relieved to see that no one's seen my mad dash to get here. Running a hand through my windswept hair my eyes dart around and try and find him. As always, I know he's here but given the fact that class has just let out for a lot of people Cole won't be the easiest to find.

Then I hear it.

A high pitched giggling sound that's usually associated when someone's pawing at my boyfriend. Squaring my shoulders I head towards the direction of the squealing chipmunk and surely enough, there's an exotic looking girl trying to climb all over Cole like she's a next generation spider monkey. But then again there are always exotic looking college girls trying to worm their way into his pants and two months into my freshman year here at Brown, it's something that I've had to bitterly accept.  The fact that Cole constantly plays dodge the ball with their grabby hands puts me at peace. I genuinely feel sorry for him, the way he has to force these girls to not come on to him too strongly. What some men might consider nirvana, is is hell. 

Deciding to put him out of his misery, I push past the throngs of students and get to him just as his latest fan girl reaches up and caresses his arm. She definitely looks like the stereotypical man stealer that I've had the misfortune of running into these past couple of months. She's tall, amazonian even and has tanned skin. Her mane of dark hair is pulled into that stylish but cute side braid that I can never master without looking like I should be in kindergarten, to top it all of she is impeccably dressed even in the cold weather with skin tight jeans, a figure hugging white sweater and a belt wrapped around her waist, emphasising just how tiny it is.

I take a moment to study my own outfit that I'd hurriedly thrown over this morning before I left home. Comfy fuzzy sweater, jeans with a pesky coffee stain, black worn boats and a scarf that nearly swallowed me all-I'm surely not in the same league as Miss Glamazon over there but that's the point. A huge smile makes its way onto my face as I happily cross over to Cole and loop my arms around his back. He doesn't jump nor is he startled, in fact I can feel his body relax under my touch and it's all kinds of wonderful. 

I poke my head around his side to smile at his latest admirer whose perfectly shaped eyebrows are nearly retreating into her hairline. 

"Hi I'm Tessa, Cole's girlfriend and I haven't seen him in nearly three days. Do you mind if I borrow him?"

Cole's body shakes with silent laughter as the girl simply stares at me. My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling so much but it's part of the game. You simply cannot let them intimidate you. Once that happens, they think it's okay if they casually slip their bra into your boyfriend's car.

It happened.

It's never happening again, those double D's were traumatising 

It takes her sometime to come to terms with the fact that her newest prey is taken. But she doesn't let it show for long, shaking her head she offers me a fake smile of her own.

"Of course. I'm Allison, Cole's partner in his Psychology class. We were just discussing a time to meet up later for our project."

The way she says meet up later makes my skin crawl. She's added some sort of a sexual connotation to the words and I know that she's done it on purpose because that's what they do.

"Great, so are you guys about done?"

She laughs, it's the hollow, superior sound laugh that sounds pretty, sheesh. 

"Oh no, we were just getting started. But we can hook up, oops I mean meet up another time. It was nice meeting you Teresa." Her lips attempt to pull into another condescending smile but it's like she doesn't even want to make the effort. She gives me a once-over and then touches Cole's arm again.

"Catch you later handsome." 

She walks away then, sashaying those hips like God commanded her to do so. 

Naturally I'm fuming by the time Cole turns around and holds up his hands defensively.

"You have to know that I can't stand her and I feel highly violated whenever she's around."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I try to find a lie in his hypnotising blue eyes but come up empty. There's not even a hint of a doubt in my mind that he's being honest and that that's all he's ever been. 

Besides, I can't really be angry at him when I've missed him so much these last few days. I left to go back home on Friday and couldn't see him because he had practice. Of course he offered to drive down to her home town of Farrow Hills since it's only two hours away but I knew that he had a big test today and needed to study. That doesn't mean that I haven't wished all weekend that he'd show up out of the blue. Now as I take in his chiseled face, perfectly messed up hair, pouty lips and those damn eyes that get me every time I can't find it in me for always having a succubus around.

It's not his fault really, he's just that amazing. 

I break into a grin and launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he hauls me to his chest. Cole buries his face in my neck and inhales, he tells me that he loves my smell so I never find it weird that he casually sniffs me whenever he wants-I tend to do the same with him. His arms tighten around my waist and I lay my head on his chest, against his heart listening to it beat furiously. Neither of us care that we're surrounded by people because when we're together like this, the world seems to disappear.

Pulling back, he kisses me nice and slow as he does when he's trying to savour the moment. I rise on my toes and presses my lips to his harder, telling him that I missed him. We only stop once the whistles and the cat-calls begin. Embarrassed as usual, I hide my face in Cole's chest which rumbles in laughter beneath my cheek. 

"I'm assuming you're going to switch partners soon?" I ask, toying with the hem of his cardigan. 

"Already asked the TA. That girl's a sexual harassment case waiting to happen."

"Aw, poor boy does it get hard to have all these gorgeous college girls falling all over you?" 

I know my words make him mad because his entire body stiffens. Holding me at arms length, he tips my chin up to meet his eyes.

"You know I only have eyes for one girl right? None of them matter, not one."

I sigh contently, feeling stupid for projecting my own feelings on him. He's never done anything which contradicts his words and one of these days he's going to get tired of my insecurities.

At least it's not today. 

"I do know and I'm sorry. Can we have a do-over?"

He hugs me to his side and begins walking, Cole's done with his classes for the day and I don't have any till later in the day so we head to over to his apartment because seriously, we have a lot of catching up to do.

No, not that kind of catching up! 

***

When Cole told me all those months ago that he'd be coming to Brown with me, I felt a lot of things. Mostly I felt terrified because at the time our relationship wasn't in a good place and I didn't know what it would mean if he were to be around me all the time. Later, when we got back together I was still scared but for a different reason. I didn't want us to be one of those high school couples who drifted apart in college, became different people and wanted different things from life. But with that worry came a sense of peace from knowing that distance wouldn't be yet  another thing standing in our way. We could be together, learn to grow up and find ourselves without growing apart. That sense of peace prevailed and took down the fear a couple of notches. 

Now I take one day at a time and it's going great. He lives in an apartment and I live in the dorms, both of us have roommates so we know that it's not the best idea to spend all of our time together. The fact that my parents were worried about us being too 'attached' makes me laugh now. Clearly they overestimated the space of college dorm room or an apartment one could get out of an eighteen year old's savings. We have to be creative about where to spend time and when, given our busy schedules.

It's nice to have time apart, meet new people but at the same time it's horrible. 

Something I've realised about myself is that I suck at being around new people but that's always been the case. In college, everything's so unfamiliar and new that my social awkwardness has risen to an entirely new level. With the exception of my roommate Sarah, it's been hard to make friends or meet people in general. That means that Cole's my only tether to the world and to myself. I always find myself needing him, wanting to be around him and it's not good, I know that.

But it truly feel like when I have him, I don't need anyone else. 

***

"So how did the moving go?" Cole opens the door to his two bedroom apartment, one which he shares with a nice guy named Eric who's a junior at Brown. He mostly spends his time at his girlfriend's place on weekdays and then she comes over on the weekends. After the initial awkwardness of running into him during our first few weeks here, he's started to grow on me and I'm no longer embarrassed to death when Cole and I emerge from his room after our make out sessions. 

"There really wasn't a lot of stuff to move, their new place is the size of a shoe box." I toss my purse on the couch and settle into it, pulling my knees up to my chest. Cole sneaks up behind me and pulls my back to his chest. 

He laughs, "But Beth's still going to sell the house?"

"Yup and Travis is going to support her no matter what she decides to do. He could've found a better place for them but she wanted to split the rent fifty-fifty so they settled for something small." I tell him all about my brother and best friend's new place and how the bathroom, dining room and bedroom are all one big open space simply separated by curtains. They'd decided to move in together shortly after we left for college and finally found a place that both agreed to. Yes it's a lot smaller than what either is used to but seeing them together this past weekend nearly made me cry with happiness. Travis has struggled with his addiction to alcohol in the past and it nearly stripped him of the great person that he is, it took some effort from his family and a girl knocking him off his butt to make him see that he could be so much more than his weakness. Beth too had suffered an unimaginable tragedy by losing her mother, a mother with whom she already had a strained relationship. They were two broken people who'd somehow found themselves in each other.

Much like the two of us. 

And we're making it work too, despite every curve ball thrown our way. Yes our schedules don't quite match, yes he's already got a whole new group of friends and yes I still prefer solitude to frat parties but hey, we're hanging in there. 

We relax on the couch for a bit and I update him on my Skype call with Megan. We're all planning something big for winter break, a ski trip of some sort and I'm struggling to work around everyone's schedules. He listens to me vent and be frustrated then offers to drive me to work because apparently it's getting dark outside. 

I work at the local children's bookstore, mostly on weekends and twice on the weekdays before class. It's because of this job that Cole and veer towards a familiar argument. He's walking down the street, with my hand in his as he casually asks the question I know he already knows the answer to. 

"So, some guys from the team are throwing a party this weekend."

"Cole..."

"I know, you don't want to go but I hate going to these things without you."

A part of me wants to ask why, if he hates these parties so much, does he need to attend each one. But then the rational part reminds me that he's part of a team, a close knit football team where you need to show up at your teammate's party, there's no questioning it. I went to the first few at the beginning of the semester and quickly realised that I could never fit in with these people. For the most part I tended to fade into the background, away from judgemental stares and the incredulous expressions on people's faces when they find out that I'm dating Cole Stone. So by the fifth party, I put my foot down and haven't been to one since. I like to think that he understands but then times like this make me feel like he wishes I could be someone different. 

"I work on the weekends and then I need to study, you know that Cole." My voice is laced with frustration. 

He sighs, "Yeah I do. I know that." 

He kisses me on the forehead, his lips pressing hard before he cups my face in his hands and just stares at me intensely for a while. I'm clueless as to what he's thinking and before I can ask him, he's already halfway near his car and then driving away. 

For some reason, I want to cry real bad right now. 

***

When I get back to the dorm, thankfully my roommate's Sarah's not there. I love her and her quirky personality but right now I just need to be miserable alone. 

Or I could use some company.

My fingers dial Beth's number before I can back out and she answers the phone on the second ring.
"Remind me why I didn't take up your brother on his offer of a palatial three bedroom apartment in the good part of the city?" 

I laugh despite my mood, "Because you wanted to prove to yourself that you're a big, strong independent woman."

She sighs," Why can't I be a big, strong independent woman with a bigger apartment, this place is giving me claustrophobia."

I laugh again because I know she's not even remotely being serious, Beth loves her new place, loves that she's paying for it on her own and loves that she's sharing it with Travis.

"Anyway, what's up? Trouble in paradise again?" 

"Something like that."

I then proceed to tell her about feeling like I'm constantly letting Cole down. I tell her about our conversation today and how things got a little weird afterwards. She listens to me patiently even when I talk about Allison the Exotic, at the end of my tirade she just snorts and plummets through my doubts.

"Remember how yesterday I was making fun of your brother's polo shirts?"

I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion, "I do but what does that have to do with anything?" 

"Well you're talking about being too different for Cole and not being enough for him and it's the same as me hating Travis' polo shirts with a passion. I never thought I'd be with a guy who wore them to the country club but I am. But that doesn't mean that I'll put on a freaking yellow sundress and pretend to sip martinis at happy hour with the zombie suburban wives you know?"

"I think I understand."

"It doesn't matter if you don't have the same interests or social circle as long as that feeling's still there, that feeling that tells you that when you're together it's the most perfect thing ever." 

I hum in satisfaction, that feeling's there in dozens.

"So if I can't be the partying, bar hopping kind of girlfriend then that's okay?"

"Of course it is, he won't expect that from you just as you don't expect him to spend all his time listening to Adele and stuffing his face with Nutella."

"Hey! That's not all I do."

"My point is that you guys are different and those differences will become more apparent in college. Don't let it get to you, he fell in love with who you are and not who you think he wants you to be."

Her words are oddly profound and have a calming affect on me. She's right, of course she is and I need to stop freaking out because Cole has always, always understood me better than anyone else.

 "What would I do without you Bethany Audrey Romano?" 

"Die probably, it's like I single handedly provide you O'Connell siblings the will to live."

I think she's probably right.

***

When I sneak into Cole's bed later that night, I'm glad that he's deep asleep. He would spit fire if he  saw that I'd walked to his apartment building alone at nearly one in the morning. Oh well, he can do it tomorrow. Laying in bed, I knew that trying to do homework would be pointless when all I wanted was to take away that hurt on Cole's face when he left me earlier that day. 

He's lying on his back, the blanket barely covering his hips and revealing all of his delicious chest. I take off my sweatshirt, one which I'd thrown over my pyjamas and climb onto the bed, draping myself all over Cole and snuggling deep into him.

Even in his sleep, he so completely adorably pulls me closer and I kiss him softly on the lips. It's moments like these that reassure me that we'll be fine, absolutely completely fine. 

"You know you're in trouble for not calling me to walk you over."

Because really, how could you not want to spend every moment with this guy? 

Huddling closer to seek his warmth, I kiss his cheek and murmur sleepily into his ear, "How about we snuggle now and argue later."

He hoists me higher onto his chest and tangles his leg with mine, "Good idea Shortcake, that's my motto make love not war." 

To emphasise his point he rolls me onto my back and rise above me on his elbows, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I burst out laughing, "I'm sure that's not how it was meant to be used. "

"I like to think it's open to interpretation."

"Well I like to get sleep before my 8 am class so I'll pass tonight."

He fakes being devastated but immediately falls back onto the bed and pulls me close, repositioning me on his chest and pulling the blankets around us. 

Ah, heaven. 

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HI GUYS

Please tolerate my excitement for a bit. It feels amazing to start writing about these characters again, to be in their world again and to be back with you guys! I'm so so so happy right now. The first few chapters may not be what you're expecting but I promise, once we get into the book, like past the first three-four chapters things will be FUN. 

So stick around?

Please and thank you!

How have you all been? MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH :')