*No author's note added yet but I promise I will write you all a very lovely and long one once I have some sleep, missed you my shortcakes!*
Chapter 22:I'm Going to Volunteer Quicker than Kanye Can Tweet and Delete

Ever since the magazine shoot, things have been quite normal. When the story first came out Cole and I were subjected to some interest and of course having the spotlight back on me made me have panic attacks every other day but when the dust settled and everyone realised that we were a boring old couple who did boring old couple things, we were left alone. Even the fangirls got tired at some point of being ignored by Cole and moved on to greener pastures. In the months following the newspaper article which was meant to derail my dad's political campaign by exposing his family's secrets, things actually went against his opponents, jerk hole that he is, Mr. Caldwell who is Dad's press secretary was able to spin things around in our favour. So from depressed, bulimic and self harming basket case of a person I represented the classic example of how powerful of a tool therapy is and how more parents should be concerned about their teenager's mental health and look into find the best possible treatment for them. That is now one of the leading points of dad's agenda and what's keeping him ahead in the polls.

Talk about a blessing in disguise. Of course it's probably one of the most insensitive things they could do to me but I'm more than ready to put anything and everything related to politics behind me for the time being.

The spring semester's drawing to a close and somehow after all the drama the last couple of months have brought, Cole and I have managed to survive our first year of college without any major calamities. It wasn't a joyride by any stretch of the definition but hey,what matters is that we've managed to hold on to each other despite all that could've possibly gone wrong and what almost did. We narrowly avoided a few and it was a bit touch and go for a long time but I'm proud to say that we're still going strong. And by strong I mean, as stable as life will ever allow us to be.

I'm in my dorm room, doing some last bit of writing before the long and glorious summer when I'm interrupted by my boyfriend walking into the room and flopping down on the bed next to me. Suffice to say, I power off my laptop because he won't let me get any work done and because I haven't seen him in what feels like weeks. He's been busy with training and practicing, with classes and final exams just like I've been. My spontaneous decision to join the dance team and write occasional pieces for the student newspaper means that I barely have enough time to sleep and do my readings each night, let alone have constant date nights.

But we're so close to freedom, to three blissful months doing whatever we want. We've been making travel plans, some with our friends and some alone. We're definitely planning something special just for the two of us, because even though we do go to the same college, our different majors and our schedules make it seem like we're in separate states.

"Hey," I lay down next to him and he quickly gathers me in his arms, my head resting on his chest. It seems like he's inhaling the scent of my hair, of my strawberry scented shampoo which is something he would totally to since he says the smell relaxes him.

"I'm so ready to be done with this semester." He mumbles sleepily. I can understand why he's so tired and truth be told, I know he works so much harder than I do. The exertion that he's put through is responsible for him being perpetually tired. The little free time we do find together, consists of us talking ourselves to sleep, where we're both so bone tired that we mumble lazy sentences, kiss each clumsily and fall asleep, with my draped across his chest.

It's a nice picture but ideally I'd like for us to be able to hold an entire conversation before dozing off.

Like I said, I cannot wait for summer.

"Tell me about it, I've been staring at my computer screen for so long that everything's starting to blur." I rub a hand over my tired, weary eyes. Finals week means we're all getting no sleep and lots of early mornings. At this point we've both been up for more hours than we've been asleep and it's so tempting to just fall into him, close my eyes and not think about this final essay submission but we've just got to fight a little bit longer, just a few more days, just one more push...

"I'm thinking about changing my major."

My head whips to the side as Cole casually mentions this. I hadn't expected to receive the news since he's acing all his classes and seems to be passionate about his civil engineering major. Of course the plan for him has always been to play football professionally, any degree would always be a backup but I'm taken aback by his decision to change a major he's been loving so far and excelling at.

"You are? Wh-what do you want to change it to?"

"Remember that Poli-Sci class I told you I liked? The professor called me in today to discuss my paper, he said for a science guy I had a surprising amount of depth for...I think he wanted to make a dig at my position on the team but ended up being too nice to call me a meathead jock."

"Hey! " I interrupt him, "You are in no way shape or form a meathead jock and if anyone even thinks that way they're going to deal with me first and it's not going to be pretty."

"Easy there my hundred pound tiger, no one pushed me off of the swings on the playground."

"Well, of course they didn't, you were the resident swing pusher if I remember correctly."

"Only for you babe, I didn't just go around pushing little girl onto the ground."

"You better not have."

He chuckles and pulls me closer, "So anyway we had a good talk and he seems to think I should reconsider my major, says I have the kind of analytical skills that'd be suited to a different career altogether."

I try not to let my reaction show. I hate how there's a part of me that's actually happy to hear that Cole's thinking about exploring other options. When he'd wanted to quit playing football before, it was because he thought he was doing it for our relationship and I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd let him go ahead with his plans. Now, he's thinking about himself and his future, what he'd like to make of it. Football has always been his go to, something he's been good at. But unlike some of his teammates, it's not all that he's good at. Cole is incredibly intelligent and studies harder than most people I know. So if he wants to look at other options then why shouldn't he? A selfish part of me wonders how that would change things, a life without the constant reminder that I'm in a relationship with someone on the cusp of fame.

"Well, it obviously made an impact on you if you're already considering changing majors."

He seems lost in thought and I don't interrupt, he needs to think it out for himself. Much as I'd like to be waving pom-poms right now and cheering for this professor who might potentially save me from a life of constant scrutiny, I refuse to be that girl who think that it's okay to control her partner's life and decisions.

"How about you take the summer and really think about everything. It doesn't have to be now and here. You're still a freshmen and no matter what major you choose, if in the end your decision is to play ball professionally then..."

"That's the thing right, the more time I actually spend playing it the more I realise that I should be enjoying it more. I should feel something more than being exhausted all the time or just trying to get the job done until the next game."

I stare at him, at a loss for words and then decide it is better to let him mull it over in his own head.

***

"So I have a question." I ask Cami as we're studying in the campus cafe the next day. She has a flight home next week and I already know I'll miss her and Sarah a lot. My roommate, quiet as she is has been such a godsend this year and we know we're going to be roommates again for our sophomore year as well. Along with Cami, we're looking into off campus housing but then the question remains, why don't I just move in with Cole? His roommate Eric is moving out as well since his lease is up and I could easily move in, there'd be two extra rooms which if they wanted to, Cami and Sarah could move into. I've been thinking about bringing it up to the two of them but haven't really found the right time.

"You don't even need to ask dear, sweet Tessa. Of course I'll swap boyfriends with you. Anytime you want me to put up with the fine specimen that is Cole Stone, I'm going to volunteer faster than than Kanye can tweet and delete."

"You've got to stop hitting on Cole and saying his full name all the time. It's creepy."

"Not as creepy as some of the comments I see on websites about him. I didn't even know it was possible to do all those things to one person." She shudders and I decide to not even ask because if something can shock Cami, then there's pretty much no hope for the rest of us.

"Coming back to what I originally wanted to ask, on a scale from one to ten how relevant am I still in the social hierarchy."

She thinks about it for a while, seriously contemplating her answer, "Well, you were a six last week after someone saw Cole groping you in the locker rooms and Snapchatted about it." She fans herself, "Damn that was steamy but right now you've been knocked down to a three or a two because everyone has finals and honestly, there's just way more exciting stuff going on with the greeks. The kinds of scandals that come out of there? You have got nothing on them."

"So, then hypothetically speaking if Cole and I were invited to go to a snazzy gala which would be pretty widely covered by the media and where it is very much likely that I will make an absolute idiot out of myself I won't be seeing it all over social media right?"

Cami gapes it me, "How snazzy are we talking?"

"Pretty snazzy," I'd been to a few of the fundraisers that my grandparents had thrown as well as some hosted by my dad's friends but none of them had been at this scale. Months of planning and a lot of money was being spent to make this year's fundraising gala for the Saint Mary's Hospital and Children's Medical Centre be the most successful ones in years.

And it would be, given that Cassandra Stone was in charge of the organising committee.

From what I'd seen of the guest list, we would have politicians, billionaire businessmen, celebrities and what not. The cause was geared towards children with cerebral palsy and was being championed by a local actress who only son suffered from the condition. My entire town had joined hands to make sure that we could raise a good amount of money and I'd be flying home right after my last exam, along with Cole to get ready.

I give Cami the details and she stares at me affronted. "I want to go to, I'll buy the ticket. I'd like to contribute towards a good cause as well. Any entertainment that I get out of it is purely a bonus."

"Are you saying you want to go home with me?"

"Of course! You need someone to make sure you don't feed the gossip monster anymore than you have this year."

In a way, this was an attempt by Cami to let me know that she would be okay if I invited her to stay with me for a few weeks. We didn't talk much about her home life, aside from the fact the two girls she came to college with, her former friends haven't so much as looked in her direction since the school year started. I know the abandonment has hurt but she's moved past it now and I love her too much to ever treat her like those girls did, like she embarrassed them or that they were ashamed of her.

"Then pack a bag because we're heading home this weekend."

She squeals and hugs me. Books are pushed aside and she begins planning a shopping trip to find her the perfect princess dress with just the right amount of sultry not skanky, her words not mine.

***

Speaking of dresses, Cassandra's been sending over some photos for me to choose from. She knows my size and measurements and has been kind enough to find me something to wear because I could barely lift my head from the books long enough to check Nordstrom. I can't help but reminisce about the last time I needed a dress and how Cole, my dear sweet Cole stepped in and made my heart explode into smithereens. I never really could recover after that, couldn't resist him and sure as heck couldn't deny my feelings for him. It wasn't the dress itself but the idea that there was someone out there who thought of me, who cared enough to put himself out there and make himself vulnerable. I've been remembering those days more often than not because it was such a different time, the only real problem between us was me being able to figure out how I felt. Now, there's a bigger chance of everything but our feelings for each other going wrong.

I'm scrolling through more of the photos that Cassandra has sent, my mind distracted with the onset of nostalgia. Life feels like it's coming full circle, another ball, another dress, yet another occasion where I could absolutely embarrass myself but I'm more than ready to let loose, even if it entails being drunk enough to indulge in some public indecency with my hot as heck boyfriend. Clearly I have my priorities straight. It's a charity gala for heaven's sake, the hormones must be reigned in. I clear my head of certain suggestive images and catch up on all of Cassandra's emails, then reply with the dresses I do like. I would order one for myself but I would rather first get the go- ahead from Cassandra since it's her big day and I don't want her stressing about me not looking right. I know she's not like my mom, the farthest thing from her actually but I don't want to add to her already full plate. For me, I'm more than ready to spend some much needed time with the people closest to me, to go home and to have this one night where we can all just enjoy good food, good music and absolutely no college drama. The more I think about it, the more excited I am and the more I'm looking forward to the actual event. Yes, it's going to be full of rich, stuffy geezers who want to show off their money but I'll be with family and as dysfunctional as we are

I'm just about to power off my laptop and go over to Cole's when the man in question walks into my room, his face hardened with a grim expression and his eyes angry as he slams the door behind him and kicks it multiple times. I jump, startled by his anger not knowing why he's behaving this way.

"Cole, what're you doing?" my heart's starting to race but he doesn't answer me. Gripping the back of his head he leans against my door, with his forehead pressed to it and kicks it hard twice. Getting up, I walk over to him and run my hands up and down his back, trying to calm him down a little. He doesn't really let me see this part of him often, the part that struggles to keep his anger and violent tendencies in check. I'm not clueless, I know he'd had a lot of issues in the past, issues that landed him in dangerous situations and distanced him from his family. Since coming back, he's largely reined in the anger and it only comes out when the circumstances are truly bad and it seems like something really terrible must've happened for him to react like this.

"Hey, what's wrong? Tell me, please." I keep rubbing his back, trying to calm down his tense muscles but there's still so much anger in him that it's starting to scare me. I don't really want to know what it is that's got him so riled up.

He curses under his breath and then turns to face me, looking anguished. "We're not going home this weekend."

"What? Why'd you say that?" My mind was reeling, trying to find a reason behind his strange behaviour. I looked at him closely, trying to assess if he was drunk or on something. Between wanting to switch up his major and this, I couldn't be sure if the pressure of being in his position wasn't getting to him.

"Cole? Tell me, what happened? Why aren't we going home?"

He grits his teeth, "Because we just can't. We'll go somewhere else instead. Take my card, book a ticket for anywhere. Let's go to California, you like the beach don't you?" He moves towards my laptop, like he's actually going to start booking us a holiday.

"No stop it! You're starting to scare me. Are you high? You do realise you sound like a manic junkie right now don't you?"

He's not even listening to me, concentrating a bit too hard on his magical Californian holiday. While I actually consider pouring ice cold water over him to shake him out of his stupor, my phone rings from where it's tucked inside my back pocket. I take it out to see that it's my brother calling but also notice that Cole's watching me like a hawk, like if it's the wrong person calling me he'll swoop in and throw my phone out the window.

"Who is it?" He asks casually.

"Cami, she uh needs some help with picking an outfit for her date. I'll just go to her room."

I slip out before he can think too much about how bad of a liar I really am and walk quickly down the empty hallway. Since I've missed Travis's call, I call him back and he answers instantly.

"Hey, catch you at a bad time?"

"You could say that. Cole's was acting really weird."

"Weird how?" He asks carefully

"I don't know, just weird. He came into my room really upset and when I tried to ask him what was wrong he told me we couldn't go home this weekend and is apparently booking flights to California. My head hurts Trav, is everything okay back home?"

He clears his throat, silent for a while but then starts speaking and I wish he hadn't. "The good news is that I can explain why your boyfriend's behaviour and the bad news is that you're probably going to hate the reason."

I take a seat in the small sitting area we have on this floor, keeping an eye on my door. So Cole's behaviour has something to do with stuff back home, that's never good. I can hardly control what happens here on campus and it's absolutely impossible for me to keep an eye on things that happen back home.

"You sitting down?"

"Yes, stop scaring me and tell me what's going on."

"Dad's in the papers again, this time minus the two of us."

"Oh god, how bad is it?"

"Bad, real bad. Look I don't want to you to hate the man because this happened a long time ago but some women of a certain kind of reputation came forward and gave the press detailed interviews about how they know dad.

"Hookers?" I almost yell and then slap my hand over my mouth.

"Keep it down will you?"

"What's the freaking point? Dad hired hookers and now everyone knows about it!" I curl up into a ball and press my knees into my chest. "How long has this been going on? And what does it have to do with Cole?"

"Shit blew up this morning, it started out with a trashy paper trying to get an interview from dad. But it's become a significantly bigger problem as more and more reporters start noticing. I think Dad might be withdrawing from the campaign."

"Well, at least he got laid."

"Tessa," Travis scolds me, "it was a long time ago."

"Like when he was married?"

"Yeah but do you even want to get into the number of guys mom was seeing on the side?"

I shudder, "No thank you, I'd prefer a lobotomy instead. But disturbing mental images and horrible, stigmatising press articles aside, what does this have to do with Cole's meltdown and him wanting to skip the gala?"

Travis takes a deep breath, "After everything that's just happened, do you we're still invited?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cassandra just called and trust me, she didn't want to be making the call but the board was pressurising her. We're no longer invited, especially not when Dad's even considering resigning from the mayor's office before he's officially sacked."

"Christ."

I do not know how to feel, there's a strange mix of emotions swirling inside of me. Of course I'm embarrassed by the fact that my family is going to be picked apart once again and that within the confines of my small town, we'll be a huge joke. I'm glad for college, the largeness of it and the insignificance of politics but mostly I'm hurt that once again, Cole and I have been put in a situation neither of us should be in. His behaviour suddenly makes sense, he doesn't want to be the person who tells me that I'm no longer invited to the event his step-mother's organising, the one I've been so excited to attend. My heart breaks just a little but there's this sick, twisted part of me that's happy that if I don't get to go then Cole won't either.

"So they've kicked us out? Anything else I should know before I come home for the summer? Will I have to put a paper bag over my face?"

"I don't know, let me venture out to the supermarket and get back to you on that." He says dryly, "If old lady Jillian doesn't throw Holy Water at me we're good."

"How're you this okay with everything?"

"Been there, done the town pariah thing and what I've learnt out of it is not to give a shit what these people think. I just wanted to give you a heads up because I know you were looking forward to the event. But honestly Tess, these people are poison right now and you don't want to be around them..."

It still hurt though, the fact that I'd so easily been kicked out. I'm still licking my wounds when the phone is snatched from my hand and I look up to see Cole with a seriously ticked off expression on his face.

"I got her Travis, you don't need to worry."

I'm not sure if I want to be a part of this conversation, two boys trying to protect me without actually getting my involved. I push past Cole and go back into my room, just to cancel any flights to California. When Cole comes back in, I go straight for the jugular.
"FYI, I don't have the fondest memory of beaches considering what happened when we went to a beach house the last time."

Cue Erica flashback, she who must not be named is absent but her presence certainly takes up the entire room.

"That was a low blow Tessie, you know I was only trying to protect me."

I throw my hands up in frustration, "Are we really going back to that? You trying to protect me and the only way that happens is when you hide stuff from me or lie? Let's just not get into that. I feel like we're stuck in some vortex where we're living the same day over and over again where you do stupid stuff and tell me that it's because you want to protect me. And I even know what you're going to do next. Apparently my getting worked up makes you hot so you're this close to crossing the room and kissing the living daylights out of me. I usually succumb but not this time mister! I had onion and garlic soup for lunch so the joke is on you."

Cole's mouth tips up and it looks like he's barely controlling a smile so I launch a pillow at him. "Hookers! My father paid women to sleep with him and now all of them want to share uncensored details about their 'private time', that is beyond disgusting and a cruel, cruel joke..."

He raises his hand mid tirade, like a little school boy wanting to ask his teacher for permission.

No, we are not into role play, thank you very much.

"Can I kiss you now because you look really hot?"

"Ugh!" I throw another pillow at him. "You," I point at him, "are still going to that gala. I'm not that selfish that I do something like that to Cassandra. This is my family's messed fudged up mess and it's all on me so you don't get to do this to your family okay?" I'm hurt, of course I am but I can't let Cole see just how much the rejection has humiliated me or just how much I'd been looking forward to going with him. I need to swallow my pride and get over the fact that I'm not longer considered appropriate company, that my presence could potentially embarrass Cole.

Dodging my attempts to push him away and ignoring my fake threat of onion breath, Cole pulls me into his arms and quietens me with a long, searing kiss.

"You and me, yeah guess what? We're a package deal. They don't want you to come, then I'm not going either."

He melts my darkened, time hardened soul, he really does. I'm never going to be little miss sunshine, certainly not the right girl to help him fight his demons but if anything he's the light to my dark. And I'm done dragging him down with me.

"You will put on that expensive, sexy as sin suit we bought together and you will go to that gala." He opens his mouth to interrupt but I keep talking, "I'll wait for you at home," my voice turns breathy and it's not purely an act. "You deserve some kind of a reward for listening to me right?" My thumb traces his full bottom lip and Cole swallows heavily. "Do this for me please, let's not put your family in a difficult spot."

He stares at me intently for a while before flopping onto to his back on the bed, "This better be one heck of a reward Shortcake."

***