Epilogue

Five Years Later

    If there's one thing I could tell my high school self, it'd be that life never turns out to be how you think it will when you're seventeen years old. I mean I would literally hang myself by a ceiling fan if I were married to my childhood crush right now, totally no offence to Jay or Leila. I'm sure he's a great husband to her but me? We'd have the compatibility of drying wall paint. I also want to shake myself, thinking about all the time I wasted trying to plot my revenge against Nicole Bishop, former best friend and current casual acquaintance because I could've spent all the time and energy doing much more productive things with my life. When you leave high school or even college for that matter, you leave that world behind you and it's after that, that your real life truly starts and it's got no room for unnecessary drama or angst, mean girls and boy's too dense to think beyond their next protein shake. None of that matters and I would've only benefited from knowing that as a teenage girl with a penchant for drama who felt like her life was ending every single time something remotely embarrassing happened. I'm a pro at embarrassment now, just the other day I walked into work with baby vomit on my suit and it only took me getting through two meetings to notice. Mattie had a good laugh about that one but hey I'd only been briefly mortified and something like this would've killed me back in the day.

    See that's the difference between then and now. This year it will be ten years since we graduated high school and everyone' starting to talk about a reunion when we're all home. Do I really want to go back and relive every bad memory I have of that place? Because there've been some real bad ones too.But on the flip side, I've had moments that changed the course of entire life there as well. I let go of a really toxic friendship and an infatuation that was the product of mostly low self-esteem and found two best friends who are more like sisters, one of them who did eventually become a part of my family and who's demon child aka my beloved nephew I stayed up the entire night babysitting hence the baby throw up. I developed a better relationship with my parents, one I couldn't imagine having when I'd been younger and actually in need of some parental concern and attention. Now though, I can see that they were both in no place to fully raise two children not when they were stuck in an unhappy marriage with seemingly no way out. At twenty-eight, I can see what I was blind to then and that is the fact that you can't have a happy, peaceful home if the two people running it aren't in love and completely devoted to each other. Because that's what it takes to make it work, not just love but devotion to the other person. Love changes constantly, it becomes stronger but also more challenging. It's different to be in love when you're eighteen and your biggest worry is the Chemistry test you didn't study for, different at twenty-one when you're in college, becoming this whole new person at the end of four very transformative years and trying to come to terms with going out into the 'real' world for the first time. It'll be different again at twenty-five when you're both so busy trying to get ahead in your careers and coming out on top in the rat race that you often forget to spend the time with each other that you used to.

In high school, I met my future husband an in high school I fell hopelessly in love with a bad boy whose heart seems to have been carved out of gold. I'll go to the reunion if ever there is one because I know he'll be there right by my side, remembering all those times together. I laugh to myself as I remember how much I'd tried to fight it in the beginning and how misled Cole had been in his efforts to impress me in the beginning. I'm sure he'll tell our son in the future that the way to a girl's heart is not through pranks or hair pulling but literally just be honest with her, that's it.

That's what worked for me at least, when Cole stopped putting on an act and exposed me to his deepest, most vulnerable self and that's what has got me hooked, addicted to him till this date.

"I'm home." I let myself into our four bedroom, concrete Georgian-revival townhouse on the Upper East Side and call out, hoping to hear the sound of eager feet running down to greet me although the babysitter knows better than to let Hallie rush down the stairs unsupervised. Hallie Elizabeth Stone, named after Cole's mom was born October 18th, five years ago and has brought nothing but but utter joy to our lives since then. Sometimes when I think about how scared I'd been upon finding out that I was pregnant, I want to go back in time and tell that Tessa that this baby will be the best thing that could ever happen to her and Cole. At the time it felt like a baby at twenty-three would be the worst thing to ever happen, that it would derail all our plans and get in the way of everything we'd worked so hard for. I'd been so wrong because Hallie is what keeps us going, keeps us wanting to do better for her and she is the reason we've come so far ahead in life because she gives us the courage we need to take risks, every single day.

Our daughter is the spitting image of her father, from her thick dark hair to her defined cheekbones a smile that is uncannily like her dad's that tells us she's up to no good, and with her gangly built, she's already taller than most kids in her class. She's got my green eyes, that I'll take credit for and of course her love of books.

"Hey baby, did you have a good day today?"

I hate putting her at daycare and after I saw one of kids being mistreated there, I scoured the city to find someone I could trust to take care of her at home, willing to pay extra. Christine is a senior at college and Leila's cousin who we've known for as long as Leila and Jay have been dating and when she offered to take the part time job I was thrilled.

My daughter hurls herself into my arms and hugs me close like she's missed me so much, which I know she has because she's the most affectionate child I know.

"I did Mommy! And they asked us to paint a family por...porait and I..."

"Portrait?" I laugh and bop her nose, standing up and balancing her on my hip. She's getting too big to be held like this but she's still my baby and I'm going to try and hold onto that for as long as possible.

"Yeah, the porait and I drew you and Daddy and grandma and grandpa and Uncle Travis and Aunty Beth, even baby Zack!"

"Wow, that must have been a great drawing you made there. Can I see?"

She's already struggling to get down, no doubt wanting to race back to her room and get said drawing from her little backpack. "Not now Hal, how about we wait until after bath time?"

"Oh, okay." Her little face falls but as I set her down on the dining table and go to get the money to pay Christine, I hear the telltale sound of a door opening which means Hallie is full speed ahead once more.

"Daddy!"

"I think they let her have some candy at school today, it was one the kid's birthday and he brought cake." Christine sidles up to me and laughs fondly as Hallie zooms right by her in search of her father.

"Or she's just that happy to see Cole, should I be worried that she likes him more than she does me?"

"Nah I wouldn't take it too hard. Maybe the next one will like you more huh?" She jokes and gestures to my belly which is now showing all twenty-two weeks of pregnancy. This time we'd planned it out and prayed that we'd get lucky a second time around. Having Hallie had brought so much joy to our lives that having another kid was an obvious choice and we'd barely waited until she turned four to have him.

Yes, it's a boy this time around, we found out last week.

"But jokes aside, he hasn't seen her for the last couple of nights and I guess she just misses him."

Cole's working at the Attorney General's office here in New York, the judicial clerkship and the graduate program he'd entered into after graduation helping him secure the position he'd always wanted. Most of his job is top secret as it's to do with criminal law and in the beginning I used to lay awake at nights when he worked late, wondering if he's okay, knowing that his job's dangerous. I still get worried though when he tries the big players and I hear about it on TV but he's told me he's always careful, knows where to draw the line and step back because he's got his girls waiting for him at home.

And every single day I feel a whoosh of knee buckling relief when he walks into the room, our daughter clinging to him because she's a daddy's girl through and through.

"Someone's happy to see you."

"I am!" Hallie volunteers and I can see how much she's missed him the past few nights, although Cole tries his best to be home to tuck her in bed but he's got a big case at the moment that has him at the office till ten at night, maybe longer and he he's out the door before Hallie has to be at kindergarten so our little girl's been missing him.

"I'm happy to see you too princess and guess whose got Friday off and is going to take you to the zoo tomorrow?"
"Who Daddy? Is it you? Please can we go mom, please?"

I laugh and so does Christine as she packs up her things and is headed out the door. "Make sure you give her mama some quality time too. Hallie's not the only one who missed you." She gives me an inconspicuous wink and leaves, leaving me behind with Cole's heated gaze and warmth pooling in the pit of my stomach.

"Is that right?"

I shrug, trying to play it off. "You've been busy."

"I'm never too busy for my girls and after today I think it'll stay that way for a while."

He lets Hallie down and we get started on dinner together, Cole driving me absolutely crazy with every excuse he finds to touch me, showing affection that's G-rated obviously. I'm only interrupted by work once and that's only Mattie calling to remind me that to not dress completely frumpy for the book launch party we were hosting tomorrow.

Cole and I moved back to New York a year after Hallie was born, once he'd gotten the job at the Attorney General's office here. We always wanted to be closer to our families and this way we got to visit our parents and Nana Stone at least twice a month or more if they drove up to see us. Yes, even Cassandra who Hallie has wrapped around her little finger. She came around, eventually once she saw my child wasn't Lucifer's first born but instead the cutest thing on the planet. We might not have the best relationship but she dotes on Hallie, just like all her other grandparents do and that's enough for me.

I see my friends more regularly too, Beth and Travis sold their New Jersey home and live in the city so we have dinner together every Saturday night and of course we're joined by Cami and Lan who're both working here as well. After years of living away from everyone else, Megan and Alex are planning to move here as well and I could not be happier to have my all best friends together in one place. Cami conceded being Hallie's godparent because Meg had been my first choice but she's more than appeased to be named this baby's godmother and sends me names constantly, insisting that his middle name has to be Camryn, we'll see.

When the time came to leave Chicago, I was more than happy to more too since Kevin took my being pregnant and then having a young child as a personal affront to him. The only reason he didn't let go of me was because Wyatt, my first ever client insisted that he keep me on for the duration of his contract and when the contract was up, Wyatt chose me and when I landed him a book deal here at Empire Publishing after I'd been promoted to an editor, he became my best selling client. Mattie moved with us too when he got a job offer at the same firm, I think we were inseparable at that point and since he saw Hallie the most, he was her favourite uncle.

"You know these last few days that I keep missing you in bed have given my imagination plenty to thin about."

We're done with dinner and our nightly routine of bathing Hallie and tucking her into bed. She's an energetic child, a happy ones and it usually takes an hour of cajoling her before she finally falls asleep. Three books later and I'm beat but of course it only takes my husband one line to set my very hormonal body on fire.

"I'm intrigued." Our room is right across from Hallie's which turns out was actually needed as she likes to crawl into bed with us some nights and we love having here there.

"Oh yeah, I got really creative about all the things I'd like to do to my gorgeous wife." His eyes hungrily move over every inch of my body as I change out of my work clothes and into my silk dressing gown. That's the thing about Cole, he's always made me feel desired and beautiful even when I'm this big or struggling to deal with my post-baby body. For someone who has always struggled with weight and confidence, it's taken me this long to embrace my body and feel beautiful int it.

"So far you're all talk Stone, why don't you show me?"

I beckon him with my finger and it's comical how fast he jumps of the bed and prowls towards me. He tugs off his tie first and one by one his clothes come off, falling on the floor like dominos. The heat has never gone away, the desire and hunger for each other has only increased with age. Cole's definitely the kind of guy who gets more and more handsome with age, his body, God his body is a work of art and knowing that he's out there saving the world gets me so hot for him.

That takes me back to our wedding night and the memory of how Cole and I broke the bed of our honeymoon suite, oops?

We got married a few months after he proposed, while I was still pregnant because we just weren't that patient. I didn't want a big wedding but my mom somehow managed to pull one off anyway. What she struggled with more was finding me a dress that didn't make me look like a bowling ball and I like to think she got the job done as I look at the blown up wedding photo we've got placed above our bed and am transported back to the second happiest day of my life, the first being Hallie's birth of course. Cole and I look so young and in love and even though it's only been five years to the day we became man and wife, I feel as though it's been a lifetime together and even that doesn't feel like it's enough.

"What's going on in your head Tessie?" Cole nuzzles his face against my neck, already pulling at the tie that holds my robe together. In a minute all bets will be off, coherent thoughts will be out the window and we'll be nothing but greedy hands and mouths but right now since I've been feeling nostalgic all day I feel the need to get some words out.

"Can I ask you something?"
"You know you can shortcake, always. I'm an open book for you."

I play with the fine hairs on his chest, knowing that he loves it when I run my nails down his skin. "You never did tell me what you saw in me? That first day in kindergarten, what could there possibly have been about me that pulled you towards me."

"Been reminiscing about the past lately?" He looks amused but also totally in love with me.

"It's the baby and the whole ten years since high school thing, I think it caught me off guard. Has it been that long already?"

Cole tips my chin up to meet him. "Getting sick of me?"

The stubble on his face pricks my fingers in the best way as I take his face in my hands. "More like I'm thinking about where the time is going, that it's going by too fast. I want it to stay frozen, want to stretch every single moment with you so that it lasts forever."

He pulls my robe aside, the poor flimsy thing stood no chance and his nose skims the skin above my breastbone. He positions me in front of me, pulling me tight to his body so that I feel just how affected he is by me.

"The little girl I saw made me feel something in my heart that I'd forgotten existed. She reminded me of something pure, unfiltered and I remember wanting that for myself, to be around you so that I could feel what you felt. I was a selfish kid back then but I fell in love with you deeper still when I saw that you were beautiful inside and out, flawed and hurting but still putting on a brave face for the world. I loved the little girl like a child loves because I thought she was perfect, I fell in love with you Tessa because my heart refuses to belong to anyone but you."

I'm sniffling, crying into his embrace not knowing how badly I need to hear him say this until today and feeling terrible that I could never express myself the way he does. I tell him every day that I love him, that I wouldn't want this life without him and that he's given me the greatest gift of all time, our Hallie and now our little boy. I vowed on my wedding day to love him for the rest of my life, through every obstacle and hurdle and I do, I have and I will always continue to do that.

"I...you make it really hard to top that you know?"

He laughs, "You don't have to top anything shortcake, I know you love me just as much."

I shake my head, "No, I love you more because you showed me what it means to truly love someone. I had no idea what it meant until I met you and I learned every single there is to know about love from you so of course I'll love you deeper, harder and more than I feel like I can contain in my body."

"Tessie," he groans, the robe discarded and on the ground, my underwear tugged down and tossed beside it. I'm in his arms one-second and on our bed the next. He makes sure the door is locked though, always watching our for our little girl who likes to sneak up on us.

"He's still in there isn't he, the reckless bad boy who turned my life upside down?" I pant into his mouth and his hands caress and explore where our son's growing.

"He never left, you still bring him out night after night shortcake and drive him crazy. I'm still the same guy you fell in love with, forced you to love him, I just think you've made me a little more secure in the knowledge that I haven't got you here against your will."

"You haven't Cole," I brush his hair away from his face and pull him down because I miss his mouth too much. "I'll be your girl forever and always."

Cole

And there you have it folks, mine and Tessa's story. This isn't the end for us though, not at all. It feels like we've only just started and we've got the rest of forever waiting for us. But this is where we stop sharing because here's hoping that nothing sneaks up on us out of the blue that deserves to be written about but if it does then we'll fight it, together.

I'm the guy who got the girl but I put everything on the line to get her and this life, our family and the fact that we need each other like fucking air makes all of it worth it. We've had our ups and downs, I wasn't always sure that I'd get to be loved by someone like her and my shortcake had her own insecurities but we defeated the odds, fought the battles and came out swinging on the other side. Things got a little tough when my baby girl was first born. There were a lot of late nights and very little sleep, I still had to go to school full time and Tessa was bogged down by work. We managed to make it work though, we always do and every single fight and every time we thought we couldn't do it any more, we were pulled back together and sown back up stronger than ever.

So here's the deal, if you find that one person you can't live without? Go after them, all guns blazing. If there's even the smallest chance that they might love you back then don't let anything hold you back, love and live fiercely, that's my two cents and that's what I'll be passing on to my son. If he's lucky enough to find love like that one day then he'll know that his dad never let anything get in the way and that true love, the kind that sinks deep into your bones and makes you who you are will always be worth it.

The End

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(There's one super special surprise chapter to come but shhh)

This feels so weird to write right now, I'm not even sure how I'm even going to start. I won't say much because I know once I start, I'll probably write you guys a 500 page author's note. I started this series in 2012, six years later I've finally found the courage to end it. These characters have been my comfort zone for so long, through thick and thin, through everything I've gone through, the good and the bad I've clung on to them because this world is my safe place. So obviously, you guys are my safe place too, the TBBG family has always had my back and has opened so many doors for me, allowed me to do so many incredible things and changed my life in the best possible way.

I was 18 when I started writing this book, I'd just failed to meet my University conditional admission and had to take a year off before I could reapply. That was perhaps the lowest point in my life and I remember being so disappointed in myself. This story and you guys gave me something to look forward to every day and stopped me from sinking into depression. Today, I'm a University graduate from one of the best universities in my country and I'm so so grateful for all of you for sticking by me in for the last six years!

I'll never be truly able to leave these characters behind. So while I do plan on publishing all the books in the TBBG series as paperback and ebook, look out for *extras* here and there and for snippets from Cole, Tessa and the TBBG family's characters. I'll put up an Extras book soon so that makes me accountable to upload lol. Until then I hope I've been able to do the series justice. If you were disappointed in any way please know that what I post to Wattpad is simply a draft version of the final product. I edit my chapters ALL the time so hopefully the ebooks and paperbacks once finished will be a better end product. I did pour my heart and soul into this book so I do truly hope you've enjoyed all the updates this month. Thank you for always being so patient with me <3 I'm truly thankful for each and every one of you!

I'm hoping to start working on my other books now, starting with Till We Pretend so don't worry, I'm still be around here on Wattpad! In the meantime, I'm always available to chat with through my social media:

As always, please remember to vote/comment or follow if you liked this book!

Happy reading, love always

Blair