Chapter Twelve: There's More Avocado Toast Here Than On My Instagram Feed

Tessa

"Fancy place Dad. Are you planning on permanently moving in?"

"I'm not even here a full hour and my daughter already wants me to leave? Where did I go wrong as a parent?"

I roll my eyes and continuing getting a tour of the outrageous two bedroom AirBnB my dad just got for his trip here. He certainly doesn't need the sweeping views of the Chicago high rises that his floor to ceiling glass walls offer or having the Magnificent Mile and Navy Pier at his doorstep. The I let out a low whistle at the sight of the massive Master Suite and the attached bathroom that comes with a bathtub so big it could fit five people. His host has fully stocked the kitchen and hey there's even a separate sleeping area and den if he wants company that won't fit into all the extra space he's already got.

"I'll repeat myself.Are you sure you're only here for a couple of days or are you moving."

"I like to travel comfortably, that's all."

"There is comfort and then there's throwing your money away when you could've gotten a nice little hotel room for half the price. You're getting old Dad, shouldn't you be saving up for your retirement fund."

"This is what I get for trying to raise two independent, strong minded children. Not even out of the nest a couple of years and they're already calling you old and settling up your funeral."

"Oh come on Dad, we both know you're not the drama queen in this family, let's leave that to Mom who has called me about five times since you got here asking if you brought your hoe-bag tramp girlfriend with you."

He seems amused and I'm glad that my parents have finally gotten to a point where their insulting barbs seem to go over each other's head. In another lifetime, dinner plates would getting thrown, credits cards getting cancelled and expensive laundry be out on the streets.

Ah, the good old days.

"Good to know her little golden boy is still keeping her feisty as always."

He laughs and I think I throw up a little in my mouth. It doesn't matter how old you get, listening to your parents refer to anything remotely sexual is enough to make you want to claim that you were the result of divine conception and not because your parents were in any way, together.

Gross.

"So you do have meetings all day today?" I pick up my keys and handbag, ready to head out the door.

"Yes but I would like to have dinner with you and Cole tonight if you're free? We can get drinks first at the bar around the corner and maybe grab some Italian? I heard there's a great restaurant nearby."

"Sounds perfect Dad, I'm sure he'll be free. Call me if you need anything and I'll see you tonight."

He stops me as if he's about to say something but then thinks better of it. I'm once again reminded of how he might have come here to talk to me about marrying Danielle and it's cute that he's nervous when there's no need to be. I like her and she's good for him so he definitely has my blessing, now I just have to wait for him to fess up.

***

I catch up with my brother and Beth once Dad's all settled in and I'm on my way home. Recently their lives have revolved around home renovation and we cannot have one conversation that doesn't involve tile patterns, backsplashes or paint chips. Not to kill their buzz but that's not a territory I'm looking into at the moment nor am I very familiar with but hey, if the girl that felt the need to bring up bustiers and corsets in every single conversation now wants to talk about the merits of marble countertops then who am I to stop her?

"You think he's really thinking about marriage?"

I can hear the faint sound of drilling coming from the background and Travis moves around to show me the progress they've made so far. Their first house is really coming together and you can see an evident mixture of both their tastes not just in the colour scheme which ranges from calming whites to a full black accent wall but in their love for music that's displayed all over the walls. Music brought them together in the first place and when you see Beth's classic rock album covers displayed side by side with some of Travis's Jazz and Blues favourites, you realise that these are two people who have truly understood the art of compromise in marriage.

Now if Travis liked country music, Beth would've filed for divorce a long time ago. Currently she's in the backyard, fiddling about with plants and the roses she's been so obsessed with growing recently. In all seriousness, if Beth didn't send circled Cosmopolitan articles that go into great detail about all things intimacy I'd be worried that her brain had been overtaken by a soccer mom. But my girl is definitely there somewhere even if she spends a lot of her time now looking up the best kinds of fertiliser.

"If he is then I'd tell him to go for it, Danielle's great."

"You don't think she's eventually going to poison him, take all his wealth and run away with the pool boy?"

"Hey if mom didn't do that in the twenty-two years they were married I'm not sure Danielle will."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

I let myself into the empty apartment as I ask Travis to hold up a second and immediately feel the need to sit down. I'm feeling incredibly light headed all of a sudden and sway on my feet a little.

Locking the door behind me, I immediately toss my bag on our couch and lie down.

"You okay Tess?"

I switch him onto voice call only and balance the phone between my ear and shoulder, using my hands to pull my hair away from my face and trying to take deep breaths. I knew something had been off the past couple of days when I'd start feeling lethargic and sluggish, struggling to get out of bed in the morning and needing multiple cups of coffee to get me through the day but I'd chalked it up to sheer exhaustion and lack of sleep.

Today had been a good day, I'd gotten a decent amount of sleep and been excited to go pick up Dad after work and I'd been doing okay so far until now when I feel like I'd just been rammed into by a freight truck.

"Sorry, I just...felt really light headed all of a sudden."

Travis is quiet for a second before switching into protective brother mode. "Are you sitting down right now? Have you been sleeping okay? Are you eating enough? I told you to not to overwork yourself Tess, you're just starting out in the job. They don't expect you to run the firm."

I sigh, feeling the dizziness start to subside just a little and close my eyes attempting to fan my face. It's February, it's still cold outside but I feel just about as chill as a turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

"It's not about work because what I do doesn't necessarily involve hard, physical labour. All I do is sit and read most of the time. I think I needed glasses, that might explain the migraines."

"You need to schedule a visit to the doctor and you're not going to get out of it this time around."

He'd known that I'd been feeling a little run down recently but I told him I'd start on the vitamins that my previous physician recommended I start taking but I never got around to.

Of course I'd procrastinated and still haven't gotten them.

"I will, I will. Trust me, it's not that serious and I'll be okay once I eat."

"See a doctor, soon." He doesn't really sound in the mood to be argued against so I give in and promise him that I will. He tells me Beth wants to talk to me so I prepare myself for some more grilling.

"Hey you okay?" She sounds so worried that I immediately feel guilty for worrying them before I've even found something concrete. They've got a lot on their plates that they don't necessarily share with me and I don't need to be adding to it.

"I'm fine," I try to sound casual about it. "Probably should have eaten more than a pack of Skittles for lunch."

"But you've been feeling off for a couple of weeks now haven't you?"

I'm suddenly not in the mood to talk about this, especially when there is absolutely nothing to be worried about.

"It's nothing but I'll schedule a doctor's appointment as soon as I can just for our peace of mind okay? Now tell me about the artist you want to sign?"

If there's one thing Beth is just as in love as she is with my brother, it's music which she also majored in, in college. Now she's moved up from an intern to an assistant artist manager and working closely with a famed talent agent to bring new clients to her recording label. It's the perfect job for her and she's been through the internship wringer, trying to impress these people enough so that they hire her full time and it's the best decision they've ever made.

She knows I'm trying to change the topic but rolls with and by the end of our conversation I like to think I've successfully managed to distract her.

"Oh and Tessa, tell me whenever your appointment is and what your doctor says. I think I...I have a feeling about this and just need to be sure."

I shake my head, "What you're suddenly a miracle healer now? Why are you not at St. Mungo's right now?"

"Only you would make a Harry Potter reference when you could be..."

"I could be what?"

Someone calls for her in the back and she tells me she has to go before the builders knock down their entire kitchen.

"Take care of yourself okay Tessa and we're here for you, just a phone call away."

This conversation has been very bizarre so I don't even question why I want to start crying, maybe I just miss my friends and it's getting a bit too much to not have my closest group of girls around me at times like these.

"Will do, love you."

"Love you and call me okay? Whatever happens, call me."
She really does make it sound like I'm dying but I'm not and there's no need to create a fuss about something that isn't plausible at all. I've just gotten my life back on track, just settled in and getting a hold of adult thing and Cole and I finally, finally can be together in peace. Dying would really be a bummer at the moment.

So despite the fact that I still feel like I'd need to live by the toilet bowl for the next couple of hours, I drag myself to our room with the intention of grabbing my laptop and answering a few work emails but as soon as I settle into bed and my head hits the pillow, I find myself getting groggier and groggier, struggling to keep my eyes open and the last thing I remember doing is putting my laptop aside and surrendering to sleep.

***

I wake up to the best feeling on earth, aka having Cole's body wrapped around me and I snuggle closer in the embrace. I can feel him smile against the curve of my neck and his arms tighten around my waist.

"You were out cold when I came back in, tried waking you up a couple of times but that didn't work."

"So you decided to spoon me into doing your biding? That's smart." My voice is hoarse from lack of use and I wonder just how long I've been asleep and it all comes back to me, feeling unwell when I'd come back, the conversation with Beth and lastly just crashing when I got to bed. Now's not the time to think about all that though, I still remember that we're supposed to meet Dad for dinner and drinks and the rest can wait.

"What time is it?"

I turn around to face him and smile at his mussed up hair, I dishevel it just a little bit more, running my hand through the thick strands.

"Your dad texted me since you weren't answering. We're supposed to meet him in an hour."

"I better start getting ready then."

"You better."

But neither of us moves, in fact Cole pulls me closer and leans down to kiss me in a way that he knows I can't resist so of course I give in and kiss him back, let him peel back the covers and settle over my body.

Of course we're late and I can't look my dad in the eye the whole night and despite being a twenty-three year old adult woman, spend most of it blushing just thinking about what happened just before we got here. Dad, bless him doesn't comment on our tardiness although I'm pretty sure he knows what's up and talks about how his meetings went and how he's looking forward to spending time with his friends the next couple of days. He doesn't bring up Danielle though which disappoints me a little because he definitely needs to act fast and ask her already before she thinks he's just stringing her along.

Cole on the other hand is completely smug the entire night and I kick at his feet beneath the table because the last thing I want is for my dad's suspicions to be confirmed. It took him a week to talk to me with a straight face when he'd walked in on Cole and me during last summer and I do not want to relive that.

Although Cole, in his defence likes to claim that he's quicker at getting me undressed than I am and that he'd only be helping. It depends on how you choose to see it but hey if he'd like to help me with it every single night, I'm not going to complain.

***

I felt too queasy to eat much or drink the night before and the next morning I wake up feeling strangely hangry. Cole isn't up yet and I'm too impatient to wait for him so first thing Saturday morning I'm in the kitchen cooking up a feast for myself like I haven't done in ages. You name it, its' currently cooking so by the time Cole rolls out of bed I've laid out a table worthy of a king and he gawks at the spread.

"Are we having company over?"

He peeks at the biscuits in the oven and I swat his hand away as he tries to steal one.

"No, I just woke up feeling like I could eat all of this and more."

"There are five different kinds of eggs on the table and there's more avocado toast here than on my Instagram feed."

"I couldn't decide if I wanted to eat a trucker stop breakfast or the hipster kind so I went for both. Do you want a soy latte or straight up black tar?"

He helps himself to buttered toast and scrambled eggs, along with a stack of pancakes and looks at me curiously. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Why does everyone keeping asking me that?"

I grab the tray of piping hot biscuits from the oven and transfer them onto a plate that I nearly slam onto the dining table. Cole's eyes widen but thankfully he's smart enough to not respond. Instead he wordlessly takes the biscuits I thrust at him and barely saves his hands from being singed by the piping ht gravy that I pour over them. Once all the food's laid out on the table, I pile most of it onto my plate and scarf it all down in record time as my stomach continues to grumble. I'm aware that Cole's probably staring at me like I'm a madwoman but hey, we've been together long enough and he's seen me at my worst, specifically that one time when I agreed to a solo girl's night out with Cami and came back smelling like a public restroom with my shoes mysteriously having disappeared into the night.

So it's not like I'm too worried about him thinking I'm unattractive and the guy is smart enough to not comment about how I've just inhaled a month's worth of groceries.

Finally when I'm done eating, I lean back into the chair and rubbing my achingly full stomach and of course Cole's eyes go straight there making me tug my pyjama shirt down a little to cover up the roundness that's obviously there from bloating. Admittedly I think I've gained a few pounds over the last couple of weeks and that's mostly because I haven't been able to hit the gym as often as I would like too, even though we have an amazing one in the building. Couple that with not eating enough in the day and being a little too fond of this city's pizza, it's no wonder that my jeans are starting to feel a little tight.

But he doesn't really have to stare and make me conscious.

"I know I look like a beached whale and the staring isn't helping." I mumble, feeling oddly emotional. Ugh, I'm probably PMS-ing because I've grown out of feeling this sensitive over inconsequential things and especially being insecure about my weight but all thanks to that time of the month, I'm reduced to whiny, needy mess who apparently feels the need to eat an entire small village's worth of food and I can't wait for it to be over already.

"Tessie, I would never..., I'm not staring at you because of that. I'm just worried. You've been working so hard and I know you have trouble sleeping at night. Travis called me yesterday and...."

"He did what?" I nearly screech because my brother is blowing this way, way of proportion. Cole's not going to let this go and treat me with kid gloves when I need to be kicking ass at work and doing better than my counterparts.

"He was worried, just like Beth was and just like I am. We both know something's up so please for my sake, schedule that doctor's appointment so that we can have some peace of mind."

His concern makes sense, especially since his mom died so suddenly and unexpectedly. He's always wondered if the people around her could have done more to save her, if they'd paid closer attention to her and been able to prevent the aneurysm. I'm not going to belittle his worries because I know where they stem from so I place my hand over his to tell him that he's not going to be able to get rid of me that easily.

"I don't need a doctor Cole. I'm probably just tired and not eating right plus I'm going to get my stupid period soon and it's..."

But as soon as the words leave my word, the entire world seems to come crashing down. I stop speaking mid sentence and look at Cole with sheer horror in my eyes and the poor guy looks like he's about to have a heart attack but what do I say to him when I probably feel the same? I'm sure my face have drained of all colour because he's suddenly by my side, leaning on the floor beside me, rubbing my hands between his.

"Shortcake what is it? You look like you've seen a ghost and Jesus, your hands are freezing."

My heart's racing so fast and I can feel the sweat building up on my forehead, my entire body starting to get ready to go into a state of shock. I don't trust myself to speak because if I put it out there in the world then that increases the possibility of it becoming true.

But it can't be, it can't be.

But it's also such a huge possibility.

Cole's shaking me now, trying to get me to speak but what do I say? How do say it? If my fears are confirmed then this could change his world just as much as it'll change mine.

Oh God, I'm going to be sick.

Wait, no I don't want to be sick!

My mind's racing as I do the math, try to not link my symptoms up to now with the obvious reason that's staring me in the face. I could still be wrong but there's a high possibility that I'm right.

"Tessie, you're scaring the shit out of me. What's going on?"

I look at him, take his hands in mine and try to get the words out but I'm nearing a panic attack and with my heart stuck in my throat, it's near impossible to get the words out. But Cole's the love of my life for a reason and his ability to calm me down in the face of any storm is one of those reasons. He helps me breathe, brings me down and pulls me into his lap so that we're both on the kitchen floor and he's rocking me gently. I rest my head on his chest and let the sound of his heartbeat relax me.

"It's going to be okay Tessie, everything is going to be okay. You just have to tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it."

I'm not sure this is something he can fix but I need to tell him and so I managed to get the words out.

"Cole, I'm late."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOOM.

And I think I'll exit out quietly for now (makes for a more powerful chapter ending am I right?)

Follow me below so we can discuss!!

Happy reading and please vote/comment or follow if you enjoy my works! <3

Love,

Blair