Chapter Sixteen: Nana's Desperate To Have Her Lion King Moment With The Kid

Cole

When I booked our flights to Bora Bora it was with the thought in mind that we'd spend most of it naked. I'd splurged out and gotten us a villa with a private beach so that we could do just that in complete isolation. Hey, I'd sat with Tessa and picked out the scantiest bathing suits money could buy just to further the endeavour of mission no clothes spring break. Little did I know that Tessa would get the worst kind of travel sickness on the flight here and would spend a good portion of our first day here locked up in the bathroom. I told her there was nothing I could see that would make her any less attractive in my eyes but she'd drawn the line and banned me from the villa so I spent a lot of time checking out our surroundings and trying to look at my phone every five minutes to see if there's a text from Tessa.

What I do receive are frantic texts from Beth because Tessa won't answer her calls or messages. She wants to keep the news private until after we hit the twelve week mark which means there's still some time left before I have to tell my dad and Cassandra. Just the thought of my stepmother has me shuddering because there's no way she's going to take this news well and I'm not about to let her have a go at Tessa like I know she will. But Tessa and I promised each other that we'd take this week, not to stress about things that aren't under out control any more but rather focus on each other because truth be told, things have been distant between us like they've never been before.

Sure we've fought and sure there have been huge misunderstandings and heartbreaks but there's never been a lack of passion in our relationship. With how awkward and stilted things have gotten in the past few weeks, I know I need to use this week to make Tessa see that we're still us and that nothing has to change. This pregnancy doesn't have to be the end of the world, in fact the more that I think about it the more...excited I feel. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the timing isn't the best and it's probably going to take a lot of hard work to raise a kid when we're both at this stage of our lives but we're not exactly high school kids right now. We have an apartment that we can manage to pay the rent for on time, we pay bills, we remember to buy eggs, milk and flour at the grocery store and Tessa's even started implementing a bedtime for us so that we don't stay up the entire night watching MindHunter.

See, we got this?

And would a baby be that bad? No, of course not. Yes it's easier said that done but the more I read up on the subject and the more aware I get of the topic, so many couples struggle for years to get pregnant and I'm man enough to admit how I'd started choking up reading about people's struggles with infertility. Since then I've become oddly protective of Tessa and her not yet noticeable bump because we're lucky and even if we're not ready to be parents, when has life ever been predictable right?

I hadn't been prepared to lose my mother at such a young age but I did. I wanted my grandpa to stick around so that he could play with my kids but that never happened and I never thought in my wildest dreams that the girl I tried to get using the worst ever moves known to mankind would eventually love me back. So yeah, there's no smooth running in life and if this is one of those instances where we get tested then we're damn well going to smash it out of the park.

It helps when I give myself speeches like this one, especially when Tessa Calculated that the baby would be born near finals week next semester and I almost passed out, almost.

I put my phone back in my pocket since Tessa doesn't seem to be trying to get a hold of me and venture out into the property. I'd paid for this trip using some of the money I'd received during Christmas and so we'd ended up at The Four Seasons Resort here at Bora Bora and from what I can see right now, every cent is worth it. The resort overlooks a private beach with the clearest waters you'd ever see and has its own private beach. I see other people occasionally, those staying at either the above water bungalows or beachfront villas like ours which have views of Mount Otemanu. There's also a hell of a lot you can do here like the concierge told us this morning. I'm not sure if or when Tessa will feel up to but I get around to walking past the massive open air fitness centre and the waterfront spa, which I'm sure she'd love to come to in the morning. If that isn't enough and because I've got time to kill I also go around to the infinity pool, the tennis court and sign up for a free guided snorkeling tours of the lagoon for a later date. I'm told by the guide that we can also go kayaking or choose to take the catamaran cruises in addition to windsurfing and shark feeding. All of this sounds right up my alley and at long last after I've made sure I've given Tessa enough time to cool off I go back to our villa.

Inside I find her freshly showered and changed into a sundress and sandals. She's putting on some makeup when I wake through the door and she shoots me an impish look.
"That's not how you expected to start the no clothes spring break did you?"

I shrug, "There's still plenty of time for me to catch up and I'd say you're doing a pretty good job." The white dress is short, low cut and when she turns around to pull up her hair I nearly drool at the sight of the expanse of the naked skin on her back.

"Do you mind putting the sunscreen on my back right now? I know I'll burn into a crisp the moment I step outside."

You bet I jump at the opportunity and when I'm rubbing my hands all over her back and down her arms, it's really hard not to notice the breathy sounds she makes that do all kinds of great things to my body. I'm trying not to get too excited here because she's still vulnerable, her emotions still all over the place but the good doctor said that the morning sickness which is actually an all day sickness and mood swings would get infinitely better once the first trimester is over and we've both got our fingers and toes crossed. That said, I also ready about the crazy pregnancy hormones that you make you really horny and I have to say, call me a pig but I'm excited to see how that turns out, well that and the fact that your boobs get a lot bigger too.

Focus on the bigger picture here Cole.

I think about diaper changes and sleepless nights to try and kill my buzz but guess what? Even that isn't looking too bad right now.

My hands linger on her skin for longer than necessary and I position us so that Tessa sees our reflection in the dresser's mirror. My naked chest is pressed to her almost naked back and I'm running my hands down her arms, massaging them like I know she loves and on cue her eyes flutter shut and she leans into me. My hands eventually come to rest low on her hips and tentatively I move them under her dress and towards her pelvis, careful not to make her skittish. She knows where my hands are headed and when they come to a stop at the bump that's just about noticeable and where our baby's currently growing she only jumps a little bit.

I look at us in the mirror, my hands on her stomach and her wide eyed gaze stuck to the image of them caressing her skin and at this moment it's such a fucking turn on that she's carrying my kid inside of her. In the most primitive Neanderthal way, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I did this to her and that through this baby we're going to be connected forever.

We made a baby together, this is our baby. Who would've thought?

"Do you think they'll look more like me or like you?"

Tessa's voice is so soft and she whispers the question so I barely hear it but it still makes my heart soar. This is one of the few times she's brought up the future and it shows that she's trying and that's all I can ask of her right now.

"I know I'm supposed to say that as long as the baby is healthy I don't care what it is but I've been thinking about a little girl with blonde hair, maybe my eyes."

She smiles but I don't miss the tears shining in her eyes. She places her hands over mine across her stomach and kisses just beneath my chin. "I think about a little boy with blue eyes who's to terrorise little girls on the playground, a devil just like his dad."

I can't put into words what I'm feeling right now and I guess because I've never felt happiness like this before I wouldn't know what the right thing to say is anyway. What I do know is that this baby isn't just an abstract idea anymore and that thinking about it like it's the end of the world no longer holds true, for both of us. The love that's pouring out of her right now isn't a fluke and I know in my heart that nobody's going to love this baby more than Tessa. It's going to take her some time to wrap around the idea of our new reality but there's no doubt in my mind that she'll get there and until then I'm happy to see her grow, day by day.

***

We're taking an evening stroll by the beach when Tessa broaches the subject of telling our families. We'd talked about not stressing too much about it during our trip but that seems silly now given that the baby has taken over all thoughts. I bring Tessa's hand up to my lips and kiss it while telling her that I'll wait until she decides she's ready to break the news.

"I know at least one person that's going to be doing cartwheels."

"Cartwheels? Tessa, Nana's desperate to have her Lion King moment with the kid."

She laughs, "Like go full Rafiki on a mountain top? I wouldn't put it past her."

"You know I think Nana's actually responsible for this? Last time I went home, she told me she'd been looking into old witches spells because she needs great-grandkids and she needs them now. I wouldn't put it pass her."

"God, can you imagine? Her wishing for me to be super fertile or for you to defeat birth control pills."

"Do you think they give out awards for that? I'd like it go on my office shelf."

She elbows me and laughs and I can't get over how beautiful she looks tonight. We'd sat by the pool this afternoon and despite the sunscreen she's starting to tan a little in a way that makes her glow. She looks happier here than she's done in a long time, radiant almost and when she laughs at something I say, I can't help but stare at her because damn, I've missed the sound of her laughter. The winds picks up a little and plays with her hair that escaped from her bun and I swear I'm the luckiest bastard on earth.

"Not everyone's going to be happy though." She bites her lip and I'm sure she's thinking about Cassandra. It kills me that she's so worried about judgement from her when there's absolutely no need for her to and my stepmother knows better now than to cross a line with Tessa ever again. Still even I know that her reaction isn't going to be pretty and I'm going to do my damned best to shield shortcake from that.

"You don't worry about that okay? Not even a little bit. I don't want you thinking about what other people are going to say or how they feel. None of that matters."

I swing an arm across her shoulders and pull her tight to my side. "I just...I know it's going to be shock for them and they'll think we were stupid to not be more careful. I'll hate the judgement Cole, I'll hate knowing that Cassandra probably thinks I'm trying to trap you."

I grit my teeth and curse the day my stepmother decided to switch personalities with Joan Crawford aka Mommie Dearest because she's been making Tessa miserable ever since and telling her about the pregnancy is probably her worst nightmare. I know for a fact that it's going to blow up and it's going to get worse before it gets better but I trust my dad on this and I know he'll make her see sense. Nobody's to blame in this situation and I'd kill myself before I let her attack Tessa.

"Hey, look at me." I turn her around to face me, "When it comes to this baby and when it comes to us, no one else matters. I don't care about what they say or think and so shouldn't you because what's important is the two of us and how we feel. And I don't know about you but this," I place my hands on her stomach again like I've started to become obsessed with touching her there, "this feels like pretty god damn right don't you think?"

"I do." Her voice quivers and she gets on her tiptoes to confirm that with a kiss.

***

The next few days are a blur of my favourite types of 'S'-s, sun, sand, sea and sex in no particular order. It's like finally accepting the fact that this baby is very much present and that the world hasn't ended has given a whole new life to our relationship and I'm not complaining. Tessa is happier than she's been in a while and it seems like she can't get enough of me so despite the fact that we've got this huge resort to explore and a plethora of outdoor activities to choose from, we don't really leave the villa too much except for dinner which Tessa insists on having at the Sunset club instead of just ordering room service. She loves the spa though and that's where she is early this morning as I try and get a run in. We watched the sunrise together before going down for a quick nap because the previous night's activities had tired us out and I'm trying burn the excess energy off right now so that I don't maul my girlfriend the moment I see her.

When I get back to the villa, Tessa's already there and on the phone pacing around out on the deck, one hand holding the phone to her ear, the other waving around frantically. She's in short shorts that make her legs go on for days and a swimsuit cover up over her bright pink bikini top. As much as I'd just like to stand here and lustfully gaze at her, she does look stressed out and that's against the rules of our vacation. If it causes you stress? It's got no place in no clothes Bora Bora. As I near her I pick up the words doctor and baby and realise that she might be talking to Beth who is the only other person outside the two of us to know. But there's a very loud male voice blaring out that even I can pick up so it's definitely not Beth and whoever it is, is really starting to piss Tessa off.

"Stop talking to me like I'm a child! No, I know that and you don't have to talk down to me."

She spots me immediately when I walk outside and mouth Travis to me and with the way she seems to be arguing with him, he definitely knows and Tessa isn't the one who told him.

"I'm okay and I was going to tell you but the doctor said we should wait...no Beth figured it out on her own, she's not clueless like I am." She shakes her head at something he says, "You know what? I don't need this right now, not when I'm in frikkin Bora Bora so we'll catch up when I'm back okay?"

She ends the call mercilessly and I have a feeling her extremely protective brother will be reaching out to me pretty soon and will try to rip me a new one. But guess what? I'm not sorry and I wont apologise to anyone for this baby. It's our life and if this is meant to be then it will be, we're not teenagers and we don't deserve to be treated like idiots. I'm proud of Tessa for standing up for herself, now she just needs to keep the momentum going for Cassandra.

"I'm guessing Beth told him?"

"That's why she's been trying to reach me desperately all day, her big mouth couldn't keep a secret from my brother."

"Hey, calm down. There's no reason we have to hide this." I place my hands on her shoulders and squeeze gently, rubbing out the tightness that taken a permanent residence there.

"I'm not trying to hide it, I promise." Her eyes are wide and earnest, "But there's already so much that's out of our control and all I'd like is for this one thing to go as planned. I want to be able to tell my family on my own pace and when I feel ready and now that's out of my hands too."

I rub her back, trying to sooth her and curse myself for not powering off both our phones and locking them in the safe that our room's got. The purpose of coming here was to relax and come to terms with this pregnancy with zero stress and outside interference and for that reason, this trip could not have come at a better time. We'd gotten a lot of down time, to really think hard about this, accept it and be excited for the future instead of worried.

Travis screaming at my girlfriend definitely takes us back a few steps.

"We're still in control, this is all still your decision. Travis found out, so what? He's not going to tell anyone and even if he does isn't it better to do it sooner rather than later and give everyone the time to wrap their head around the news? I love this baby already and I know that our families will feel the same way so there's nothing to be worried about. And if someone has a problem, fuck them."

She nods, "Fuck them, now stop cursing around our child because if they have your potty mouth your stepmother will never let me live it down."

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Five more chapters to go! <3

Like I posted on Twitter and Instagram today, the rest of this book has been written but I'm going to space them out so that I can cling on to these guys a little longer. I will admit, there were some tears involved when I wrote the epilogue because OH MY GOD, it is hard to let them go. I've been writing Cole and Tessa's story since 2012 and I can't believe that it's been 6 years since I started. It seems like both the longest time and just yesterday when I posted that first chapter, crazy.

But I'm a crazy hoarder, future cat lady so immediately after I finish this book I will be posting something called 'TBBG Extras' where I occasionally posts one-shots and snippets from Cole and Tessa's lives. You guys won't be able to obviously know before the story end but I'll definitely take requests for anything you want to see <3

Follow me below so that we can chat, hold hands and cry together.

Happy reading and don't forget to vote/comment or follow if you liked this chapter <3

Love,

Blair