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Thank you @crazily_hal for this amazing TBBG trailer! Brings back all the feels <3

Chapter Eleven: Let Higher Power Take The Wheel And Drive My Car Off A Cliff

It's official.

I have now reverted back to being a teenager who has severe confidence issues and hides away in her bedroom before the start of every holiday. I can smell the turkey and the gravy and the pie but my destination of choice this morning is hiding beneath a fort of blankets.

Why you ask am I channeling the Tessa of TNE or 'The Nicole Era' as I like to call it, well it's because I've got not one but both of my parents.

Under the same roof.

As Carrie Underwood likes to say, let higher powers take the wheel and drive my car off a cliff. 

Mom wasn't supposed to show up until Saturday, the day of the engagement party and even when she did she'd be staying in a very nice hotel that I'd personally ensured she'd gotten a room in. Heck, the way that I'd planned it all out, her and my dad wouldn't even have to make eye contact if they navigated the space around them extremely carefully. I'd considered drawing Dad a map so that he could be aware of where mom would be at all times. The less they saw one another, the lesser would be the chances of my becoming an orphan right before the holiday season officially kicked off. Alas, you might as well hand me a bowl of porridge and call me Oliver Twist right now.

It's the yelling that wakes me up and I'm glad that I kicked Cole out before mother dearest arrived. He's got his own family drama to take care of and the last thing I want is for Cassandra to be sulking about Cole not spending the day with them. Ah, the mother Stone is yet another thing that I need to worry about. I think it's time the two of us had a conversation where I politely tell her to stop treating me like I'm some kind of a gold digging succubus who's going to turn her son's life into a void of pain and misery.

Dramatic but surely, that's what she thinks given the way she's acting. If she chooses to not change how she feels towards me and my eyeshadow journalistic masterpieces then I will happily remove her from my life because with Leila and Amy, there's literally no room in my life for terrorising female figures of authority.

Back to the one woman, who I can't extract from my life that easily...

I hear the sound of glass shattering and given that the two of them are now likely throwing sharp pointed glass objects at one another, it's time for me to intervene.

Happy Thanksgiving from the O'Connell's everyone!

***

I delay the inevitable by running myself an unnecessary bath and taking my time getting ready. I've also enlisted re-enforcements and don't even feel a little guilty for interrupting Travis and Beth's love fest. They were supposed to come for dinner anyway so they'll just have to arrive a little earlier so that we've got both parents alive and well for his wedding.

"It can't be that bad." He tries to placate me over the phone and I can hear Beth singing in the background. Singing! I've always loved my brother for what he's been able to do for Beth and the happiness he's brought to her life. But since the engagement, that happiness has been on a whole other level. Beth positively radiates with joy and it's infectious being around her, also dangerous because now that she's engaged she thinks it's okay to drag me into Tiffany's to look at rings.

Nope, not ready.

Besides I already have a ring that I still haven't told anyone about.

"Oh but it is bad," I return to the conversation. "Ray isn't even here yet and Dad's made ten jokes about Cougar-town. One more and Mom's going to blow a gasket."

"Okay the, why don't you stop hiding in your room like I know you are and try and get them to act civil? They promised they wouldn't pull a stunt this weekend." In a much lower voice he adds, "You know I want thinks to be special for Beth, right?"

"Of course I do and I'd never let them do anything to take away from your special day but just...please get here soon. I don't think I can wrestle both of them to the ground at the same time."

He laughs because he thinks I'm kidding.

I'm not.

I walk into the living room prepared to find utter carnage but what I see instead is definitely more eery. You know how with psychopaths and serial killers, the scariest part is that they can act so normal at times that you don't really expect it when they chop your head off and stuff you into the trunk of their car? I mean at least if you're a normal everyday criminal, you publicly exhibit tendencies which ward people off. The kind of people that I'm talking about? Yeah you'll never see it coming and the next thing you know you're dead and likely to end up in said psychopath's basement as a trophy.

That's how my parents are acting.

They're sitting on opposite sides of the room. Dad in an old armchair and Mom seated on the edge of the couch, daintily sipping her tea. The vibe of the room is definitely off, like they heard me coming and stopped mid attack. But both of them look composed, not a hair out of place, absolutely pristine. I inspect the place for damage and find none.

"I'm sure I heard something shattering a while ago." I eye them suspiciously. Mom continues to drink her tea as though she's dining with the Queen of England and Dad averts his eyes, pretending to check the time on the watch he's forgotten to wear.

No wonder I'm such a horrible liar, these are the people I come from.

"I think you've started hearing things Tess. Maybe it's all the quiet after coming back from that maddening city with all that noise. Noise pollution can be really detrimental to your health." Mom says with all seriousness and I don't even have words for how bizarre this situation is.

"Are you two okay?"

"Sure."

"We're fine."

"Uh huh. Well, I'm going to go to the other room and make sure everything's set for dinner. I'll be right there, just a few feet away. Remember that okay."

"Oh for God's sake, we're not barbarians Tessa." She rolls her eyes and Dad coughs.

"The last time I left the two of you alone, I came back to find Dad drenched in tequila and your hand wrapped so tightly around his neck, I thought he was already dead."

True story and to add the utter embarrassment of the night, it'd also been a funeral for my great-great Aunt Cindy and suffice to say, my parents had diverted the attention from the dead lady.

I can't let them do that to Travis and Beth.

"Those were extenuating circumstances honey. I forgot that your mother doesn't take kindly to being reminded that she still needs to pay me back for all the medical bills of hers that I've covered recently. Plus she doesn't even want to discuss that the term medical is a bit loosely used because I wouldn't call augmentation of one's brea..."

"Dad, stop!" I cover my ears, "Let's not get into that right now." I glance at Mom and of course she's glowering in her seat while subtly tugging at her silk blouse. The fact that she's gotten a ton of work done since the divorce isn't the problem, it's the fact that my dad loves to remind her of it and that she's not the twenty-something she's been trying so hard to convince everyone that she is. It doesn't help that Danielle is much younger than mom and so the entire situation has turned into a shit show.

"Travis and Beth will be here any minute and you know how hard we're all trying to make sure this weekend is the happiest one of their lives yet. So please, behave yourselves." It's lucky I went on a Harry Potter binge watch a few days ago because I feel very Umbridge and uppity right now. Maybe that's what prompted me to put on a pink dress today.

Like two thoroughly scolded toddlers, my parents retreat to their respective spaces that I've cordoned off for them and I make sure that the catering company is on schedule with our meals.

Today is not the day I allow any member of this family to be in the vicinity of fire.

"Mom," I find her in the back yard, glancing longingly at the flowers she'd planted and looked after so carefully in the years before the divorce. Kudos to my dad for making sure that the gardener still took good care of them because I think Mom nearly sheds a tear as she runs her hand across the lilies. I let her have her moment before approaching her.

"Hey, you okay?" She nods but doesn't meet my eyes. Since her unexpected arrival this morning, I've suspected that something's wrong but of course I'd been so pre-occupied with making sure that I have a living, breathing set of parents that I haven't even asked her what's wrong.

So I do.

She smoothes the imaginary creases off of her on trend wide leg pants and rests her fingers on the diamond necklace around her neck. She's adorned from head to toe in what appears to be thousands of dollars and yet from the look on her face you'd think she'd lost everything in a fire. I don't pretend to understand what exactly it is that makes my mother happy. She certainly made it clear that family wasn't a priority when she left my dad and thought that it meant ridding herself of any responsibility towards her kids as well. She's dated a lot of men since, mostly younger but she's not stuck with one for longer than a few months. Then she met Ray, who'd ideally be the perfect man for her but sometimes I get the feeling that even now, even when she's being ridiculously spoilt by the man of her bank account's dreams, she's still not happy.

"Yes," she forces a smile. "silly me, just being sentimental that's all. It's so hard to believe that my little boy's engaged and we're actually hosting his engagement party soon. I guess it just made me think about you two growing up and this house. There are so many memories here."

I stay quiet because it's what seems appropriate. "I know I don't say it nearly enough Tessa but I'm...I'm so proud of who you've grown up to be." She touches my cheek and I feel like I've been sucked into a black hole and transported into a universe where my mother is actually motherly and Cassandra Stone is the she-devil.

Wait, that universe is this one. How weird and something my seventeen-year old self would have never believed.

"Mom...is everything okay between you and Ray?"

She withdraws her hand and turns away. Oh no, not a good sign but I can't stop talking. "He was supposed to come here with you...did you guys fight?"

She laughs as though that such an endearingly stupid question.

"Ray and I, we don't fight because he doesn't have the time and I don't have the energy." She explains as we start walking back to the house. My watch tells me that Travis will be here any minute and I'm hoping that whatever it is that's making mom act so weird, she'll be able to get off her chest before he arrives.

"When you're my age and still single, you start looking for different things in a partner and in a relationship. With Ray, I had none of the expectations I had from you father and which he miserably failed to meet. Today for example is all celebrating your brother and Ray wasn't very comfortable with the idea that he'd be participating in the festivities involving my very grown son."

I hate men, someone needs to wipe out the entire race from the planet. Well, maybe all except one.

The fact that Ray likes to pretend that his girlfriend isn't the mother to two people in their twenties isn't new to me. I took one look at the guy and knew that he wanted to show off my mother, parade her around like she's the latest model of an Audi and that he's the sole owner. Of course he wouldn't want it to be common knowledge that she's got a son and a daughter who're perhaps closer in age to him than he thinks. Still, knowing that he's making her feel guilty and worse bad about herself makes my blood boil. All the surgeries and procedures start making sense. How many men has she dated that make her doubt herself, stunning as she is and force her to change herself for their pleasure.

"Mom you have to know that I never liked that guy. If he makes you feel ashamed about who you are then I don't understand why you're even bothering staying with him. You don't need him or his money."

She doesn't. My mother is loaded courtesy her own parents and investments. She's never needed or depended on Ray's wealth.

She shakes her head again like I'm a naive little child.

"You got one of the good ones Tess and that makes me so happy." We walk in and sure enough there he is.

My Cole.

Mom looks at him fondly, "He looks at you like you're the centre of his universe and everything he does revolves around you. I know I haven't been the most supportive of your relationship but I want you to know that the kind of love the two of you have? It's so rare and so beautiful. Not all of us are lucky enough to find someone like that and now that you've found it, I want you to hold on to it okay?"

I feel like this is a moment from a Lifetime movie, the teary eyed mother and the clueless daughter discussing their love lives while a tragic death looms in the near future.

"Are you dying?" She sputters and then laughs, catching Cole and Dad's attention. The former comes out with a big smile on his face and kisses my mom on the cheek.

"How're you doing Ms. O'Connell?" Mom chose to keep her last name because she's gotten way too many Louis Vuitton items monogrammed.

Mom hugs Cole and it's like we're still stuck in that Twilight zone where my family actually gets along with and accepts my boyfriend.

"I'm fine, except for the minor inconvenience that my daughter seems to think I'm dying?" She looks at me quizzically and Cole wraps an arms around my waist, pulling me to him.

"Do I even want to know?"

"She's being nice," I tell him, "You're being nice and maternal and I'm just very confused right now."

Instead of being offended, mom laughs and I even hear a chuckle from my dad. Cole squeezes my waist affectionately and it's one big laughable matter but they don't get it, I'm totally serious.

"Mom, if something's wrong you can totally tell me." I say earnestly and she laughs some more.

"I'm not sick but I'm flattered that you think that it'd take terminal illness for me to act maternal."

"Don't blame her!"

"You're pushing it Dad!" I chide and he stays quiet.

"No, I think what I'm feeling today is...all the feels like you kids say. So even though it's really weird for you and that man in the kitchen who is more likely than not laughing his ass of, I would really love to play my rightful role in your life. Starting with you, young man."

"Me?" My handsome boyfriend gestures to himself. I haven't paid enough attention to him today but he's in a crisp navy button down shirt and black dress pants. The colour of his shirt really brings out the deep blue of his eyes and I'm struck again with just how much I've missed him.

"Yes, you Cole. My ex-husband, while usually not being a pleasure to hear from called me yesterday wanting advice on how to go about saying this to you. While he'd like to take the polite way out of this and deal with it like an adult, I don't take as kindly to people walking all over my baby."

"Mom don't..." I try to stop her but it's no use. I think someone added a little too much super-mom to her tea this morning.

"Now like I've told Tess, I think you two are perfect for each other and I really hope that you're endgame, is that what they call it?"

"Yes ma'am." Cole looks sheepish and not at all worried about what's coming.

"But if your mother continues to mistreat my daughter and belittle her every chance she gets, neurosurgeon or not she's going to have to go through me and it wont be pretty. Understood?"

Oh My God, no.She did not just physically threaten the only mother Cole has ever known.

That's it, he's going to breakup with me and I'll spend the rest of my life in a broken relationship with my mother, not even talking about her when they ask me where it all went wrong for my biography.

Because of course they write biographies about homeless people who loiter outside their ex's homes and places of work all the time. Because I will stalk this guy to the ends of the earth if he ever decides to leave me.

"Loud and clear. I've told her that unless she's ready to be civil to Tessa, she can stop expecting me to see me, even if it's the holidays."

I gasp, "You didn't! That'll just make her hate me more."

"None of this is your fault and you don't deserve to be treated like that by anyone, least of all by Cassandra."

"I agree," Dad chimes in. "I had a good talk with Cole this morning before he left and I'm glad that he's holding on to his end of the deal."

"What deal? Why are we all talking like we're in the middle of reenacting The Sopranos? I'm so confused."

Cole pats my head, "We've got you Shortcake. Mr. O'Connell kindly reminded me that either I got Cassandra on board with treating you right or I was never allowed to set foot in his house again."

"Dad! For crying out loud, you guys are blowing this way out of proportion."

"I heard you crying honey." He's talking about the little meltdown I'd allowed myself to have last night as I'd come downstairs on the pretence of getting myself some water. I'd uncurled myself from Cole's arms and then had a little sob fest down here because honestly I'd been so tired of people never thinking that I was good enough. It gets to a person, being constantly looked down upon and just never considered to be capable of doing anything right in your life. Perhaps I'd reached my breaking point but I'd shed a few tears and put it behind me.

Or so I thought.

"We might not have been the best parents to you growing up but you have to know that we'd do anything to protect you."

"You're not the only ones." Cole reminds them and my eyes start stinging. Ideally, the Cassandra situation would not be happening and I'd not want her to hate my guts but considering how things were going...well if it took a broken relationship with one person to bring my entire family together?

Then I think I could go a round or two with the step-monster.

***

"Everyone's so well behaved and it's starting to freak me out a little. I've never seen you guys act so, well normal."

"Au contraire soon to be sister-in-law. This is how we O'Connell's usually are, one big happy family."

"Are you smoking something? Can I have it? I think I might need it to get through the day."

I swat Beth's arm. "We're getting through this day sober if it kills me. One day, just one day of everyone just pulling it together and not inflicting any kind of physical harm either on themselves or on others and I'll be able to keep this day for the history books. So no illegal substances please."

"Well, it's legal in some states."

"Shut it Bethany, I'm watching you."

I leave her standing in my walk in wardrobe. Apparently she wants to wear a girly girl dress today but didn't want to spend money on something that would probably never see the light of day again in her closet. Leaving her to have her pick of my wardrobe I return to the family soap opera that is this household. Surprisingly my parents have seemed to call a truce and they're now discussing all things wedding and football with Travis. I stand to the side and watch them, a kind of contentment settling over me. We've never been the traditional happy family with two parents who actually like one another but this setting works just fine for me.

Smooth, warm lips press to the side of my head and I lean back into Cole. "What are you thinking about?" His arms come around me.

"All of this...it looks so normal. I'm worried if I'm in the wrong house."

He chuckles, "If you want dysfunctional you could try coming over to mine. I think our families have switched brains."

"Oh no," I turn towards him, "how bad is it?"

He pauses, "Dad slept in the guest bedroom last night and this morning he told me that it was better if I came to Thanksgiving at your house. He kicked Jay out to so I'm guessing he and Cassandra are going to have a long but much needed talk."

"I didn't think things would spiral out of control like this."

He shrugs, like it's no big deal that just when my family is starting to come together, his is falling apart. "She had no right to treat you like that and I'm not going to stand there and let her think that it's ever okay."

"Still, I'm so sorry. I can't believe..."

"No apologies Tessie, not a single on. All I need from you is a tiny favour." A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"What is that?"

"Have some extra space in your bed for a guy who really doesn't want to go home?"

"Maybe," I smile, "but only if the guy's about this tall," I raise my hand so that it's level with his head. "Has gorgeous blue eyes and can wear the hell out of a suit."

"Hmm, I think I might know someone."

And that's the story of how I ended up with a roommate who came with all kinds of benefits for those four days.

***

Now you might be wondering, if we were all transforming into the Brady Bunch what is it that could possibly ruin my huge plans for this holiday weekend? Well, just you wait and watch.

Thanksgiving passed in a blur of great food, even better football and lots of tears when it came to planning my best friend and my brother's wedding. I know that it's hard for Beth, especially since she more often than not refers to herself as an orphan but I want to let her know that she's never been alone and has always been part of the family. Now? It's time to make it official.

Megan and Alex are in town, Cami's flying over especially for the party, Lan in tow and some of Beth and Travis's new friends are also driving in. I'd aimed for a small event but somehow I'm inviting my twice removed Uncle Harry and the works. Travis and Beth decided against holding the party in a hotel, even though Dad had already offered to cover it but I think they realised that if given such a huge space to work with, my crazy would go off the charts. Instead I'm working with my own backyard which isn't too shabby. Although it's cold outside, we've got the fire roaring and enough food and drink ready to go that the guests will definitely be too drunk to notice the chill in the air.

Speaking of guests...

"Oh my god, you little sneak. Why didn't you tell me you got this dress?"

A nearly naked Cami stands in my bedroom holding against her body a little thank you present that I'd gotten her for coming to the party. It's a tight Topshop number she'd messaged me a ton about, asking me if I thought it was too slutty to wear to Lan's grandmother's birthday and I told her the truth, it definitely was. But it's perfect to wear for your very good friend's engagement party so, "Surprise!"

She smacks me on the arm, hard. "This was two hundred dollars you idiot."

"I'm sorry?"

"You better be. You're lucky I'd give my right arm for this dress and that it'll make Lan's eyeballs fall otherwise you and I were going to have a serious conversation about friendship boundaries."

"Speaking of boundaries...can I come in ladies or do I need to find a blindfold." Cole's voice sounds just outside of my bedroom door. He's been so great today, not at all distracting me with his gorgeous body. I think I'd have broken down and cried five hundred and seventy-two times already had he not been there to save the day. Currently, I think he's been lugging a whole lot of balloons in the house.

"I don't know what kinky things you're into Stone but since I'm dating your best friend, I'd rather not be a part of it."

"Camryn, at least tell me you've got some clothes on."

She looks down at her barely clothed self and whispers to me. "Do you think him and Lan would get into an incredibly hot fight if he sees me naked."

"Cami, get into that wardrobe and change right now. Under no circumstances are yo allowed to flash my boyfriend." She pouts like a petulant child but follows the direction of my finger. I worry for the people who think they could get any kind of psychological help from this girl. Sure, if you're looking to turn into a mini-Freud and make everything sexual then Cami's your girl. But if you're looking to

But Christ, I've missed my friends. Megan's somewhere downstairs trying to calm Beth down who's even more nervous than I am but then again her panic attacks make sense. She hates parties that take place in the daytime and don't end up with everyone being rip roaring drunk. Besides, for Travis's sake she hardly drinks around him and she knows family events like these are difficult for him. More than everything else, she hates being the centre of attention and with what I've got planned for her, you bet every single eye in the house will be on her.

"Hey," I let Cole in and once again I'm reminded that I cannot maul my boyfriend today just because he looks ridiculously handsome. He's ditched the tie, of course but looks rather dapper and rebel without a cause in a black blazer over a white v-neck shirt and his jeans do wonders for one of my favourite body parts of his.

"Okay so we might not get time to do this once I tell you what I need to tell but damn Shortcake, are you trying to give me a heart attack."

I giggle, an honest to God school girl giggle because that's what he reduces an Ivy League educated girl to.

"You've already seen my dress." I twirl around for him just a little and hear him groan because guess what? My wine coloured midi lace dress has no back to speak off and I might freeze off a vital organ but if it gets that kind of a reaction from him?

Kidding, this girl's wearing a leather jacket.

Yeah I'll take it.

Of course he reaches to caress the exposed skin, my hair in a sleep up-do just so that it doesn't get in the way but before we get carried away, I hear a bang from within the closet followed by Cami yelling out multiple expletives.

Resting my forehead against Cole's, I sigh. "I better check on her and make sure she hasn't broken any bones."

He peppers my face with soft kisses. "I'm so happy we booked hotel rooms tonight."

Oh yeah, after the PG-rated engagement party at home, Beth decided that she wanted something wilder so we're well and truly having a night on town later on.

"But for now, there's something you should know."

His voice is slightly wary and I know I'm not going to like whatever comes out of his mouth next so I steel myself for it, ignoring Cami's cries of pain coming from my wardrobe.

"There's someone downstairs that you might not have invited."

"Okay. On a scale from Beth's uncle who's in a motorcycle gang to my cousin whose has an extremely weird toe fetish, how bad is it?"

He looks confused for a minute, "Uh, nothing is as bad as a toe fetish but it's probably somewhere in the vicinity?"

"Oh no, who is it?"

And that's when the screaming begins.

Because when I race downstairs, nearly breaking both legs because you try running in six-inch heels, I find the sight not many people would like to witness on the day of a party they've spent ages planning.

And that's watching the bride-to-be, literally grabbing someone by the hair and holding them underwater, watching the person's arms and legs flail as she tries to make a run for her life.

Oh no.

I watch Megan, Travis and my dad attempt to pull her off and when the finally manage to do so, I get a good look at the person whose face emerges from the water. And she might look like blonde haired soaked rodents, coughing and sputtering but yeah I'd know this gold digging witch anymore.

Ladies and gentleman, it seems as though Farrow Hill's very own Jenny from the Block is back and crashing her ex-boyfriend's engagement party.

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Hey guys!

So I read comment on the last chapter where someone said that they knew my next update would be the day after because I either upload really fast or you know, drop dead for months. Hahahha good to know you guys know me so well! But yes, uploads will be fairly rapid from now on. Or so I hope. This book has always been planned as a novella. I might add to it later but for now, what I feel is right is that it doesn't have to be as long as TBBG or TBBH as that'd start dragging the storyline. I'm always going to write about Cole and Tessa, in some shape or form so don't worry this book, when it ends won't be goodbye <3

Thank you for all the love on the previous chapters. Those of you who stay and patiently wait for uploads? YOU'RE MY FAVES. It truly means the world to me that you've supported me for so long and I hope to continue writing for you guys for a long time!

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Blair