"Why does it feel like forever since we all have hung out?" Aiden asks, keeping his head in Breanna's lap and earning a look from Luke who gets a middle finger in return.

"Because it has been." Breanna speaks up, looking at me sitting by Chris's side as we all hang out in her living room.

"I feel like you guys hang out a lot without me." Aiden speaks up again, pouting and I notice how dark awesome his eye shadow looks today. It's somewhere mixture of turquoise and navy blue.

"Because we do." Evan speaks from my other side.

The irony of our sitting arrangement isn't lost on me, but there's not much I can do about it. I mean, I can't ask my best friend to sit somewhere else when he plops down by my side.

"Okay, consider me hurt." Chase speaks up, making me snicker because he recently got a haircut which is absolutely ridiculous with his hair sticking out in every direction. "And Adrianna, stop laughing at me."

This time, I laugh louder as I continue looking at him, "I can't help it. Have you looked at yourself?"

"You look like you let someone run a mowing machine over your head and they decided to do alternate line thingy." Jordan says, and I bend forward to give him a high-five since he's sitting on the rug.

"Honestly, what were you thinking?" Chris asks, speaking for the first time since we came here fifteen minutes ago.

He has been quiet more than usual this last one week, but I think he was recovering from whatever went down with his mother, so I gave him enough space that he didn't feel smothered. But, that doesn't mean that I didn't beg him to share his thoughts with me.

"I was reading a comic when this happened, alright!" Chase throws his hands in the air but that only makes everyone else laugh louder.

"You're an idiot." Luke tells him and I nod my head in agreement.

"Well, at least my face looks the same, so it shouldn't be a problem to charm girls off." Chase replies, but that only makes me burst out laughing.

He gives me an annoyed look and I hold my hands up in surrender, "Buddy, if you think you can pull this look off with even a single girl, I would pay you ten dollars." I assure him and his mouth falls open.

"You serious?" He asks.

"Count me in as well." Evan smirks, giving me a sideway glance which makes me smile evilly because we both know it's not going to happen.

"Well, c'mon then. We are going to the playing arcade!" Chase stands up, "You'll see what this face can do."

"Get ready to lose your money, Brooks!" Jordan clicks his tongue and I frown at him, giving him a disapproving look.

I stand up, pulling out a ten dollar bill from my pocket and giving it to Evan, "In case he gets a girl, give him the money."

"Where are you going?" Chris asks and I look at him to find scowling at me.

"I have an errand to run." I shrug but that only grabs everyone's attention, making me squirm uneasily.

"You're lying." Evan says and I flick his forehead in return.

"Shut up."

"Well, whatever. Who's with me?" Chase asks and his two best friends stands up. "No one else?"

Breanna shakes her head, "I am sure Luke can be honest to us even if Aiden is biased." She gives her boyfriend a look who rolls his eyes before the three of them leave.

She then turns to me, "So, where do you have to be?"

I shrug, "I told you, I have an errand to run."

"We got that part. What's the errand?" Jordan gives me a curious look.

"Uhh, I'll tell if no one freaks out." I look at all of them expectantly, "Promise me."

"Promise." Jordan and Breanna say together so I turn to the other two.

"Seriously?" I look between Chris and Evan.

"What? I am not going to support you if you're going to do something stupid." Evan says and I frown, turning to Chris.

"Don't look at me. What you just said sounded extremely vague. I got just one question for you — you cheating on me?" He asks, arching his eyebrow and my lips part in surprise at his question.

"Do you honestly need her to answer that?" Evan scoffs looking between us but Chris remains his eyes trained at me, waiting for me to respond, so I shake my head.

"No, I am not cheating you." I tell him, even though it seems like a lie when my eyes land on Evan.

He nods, "Go ahead then, where do you have to go?"

"I am meeting Cassandra." I blurt and he frowns at me, waiting for me to elaborate but I don't say anything else.

"Why?" Breanna asks.

"Just like that. We've been talking lately, and I asked Dad if it be alright if she visited since she mentioned meeting." I tell her.

"You are actually meeting her at your place?" Evan scowls at me and I nod.

"I didn't want to go out." I give the best explanation I have.

Because when we met outside last time, I felt so out of my comfort zone. And since, I had actually decided to give that woman a chance for real, I thought it would be best if we met somewhere more private than a shopping arena.

"What is wrong with you?" Chris asks, his tone making me frown at him, because I hate it when he gets rude to me — we should be above that now.

"What? I just want to meet her. It isn't a big deal." I continue to stare at him while he continues to glare at me.

"What Chris means is that we don't think it's such a great idea for you to meet her alone, especially since you were a disaster last time." Breanna tries to reassure me but I don't miss the look she sends to my boyfriend, as if asking him to shut the hell up.

"I would be fine. We have been talking, a lot actually. Almost every day, and things are better." I try to reason, because I've already made my decision.

When Chris and I discussed this, he seemed supportive of it but suddenly he's so against the idea of me meeting her that it's freaking me out because his opinions matters so much to me. I don't like how shut down he has been since last week but this.. this is like him being on edge deliberately to start an argument with me.

My phone starts ringing and when Cassandra's name appears, I pick it up, "Hey." I say, walking a little away from the living room and intense gaze of my friends.

"An, hey. I think I am at the correct address, in the driveway. But the house seems to be empty, I rang the bell twice." She says, sounding incredibly nervous which helps me calm a little because that means I am not the only one.

"Uh, I am so sorry. I'll be there in ten, I am actually at a friend's place." I tell her, rubbing the back of my neck as I peek behind to see Chris staring hard at the floor and Evan staring at my back.

"Sure, take your time." She says and I hang up, going back into the living room.

"I have to leave." I say, looking between the four of them.

Chris stands up, pulling out his car keys from the pocket, "You don't have a ride, and I am coming with you anyways." He says, offering me his hand which I take but stare at him in confusion.

"Yeah, me too." Evan stands up, and so do Jordan and Breanna.

"Us too." My girl best friend says and I stare at all of them.

"What's wrong with you guys? I am not going to a secret coup meeting against the President, I am meeting a woman who gave birth to me. Chill the hell out." I scowl and Evan cracks a small smile, shaking his head before he turns to Jordan and Breanna.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride." He tells them.

Chris walks outside the house too, and I follow him silently, suppressing how pissed I really feel. When we get outside, I slide in his car's passenger seat while Evan pulls his car out of the driveway since he was blocking Chris.

"Stop pouting." He says and I give him a sideways glance .

"Are you pissed at me for something?" I ask and he shrugs. "Jay, you need to tell me what it is so I can explain or at least apologise."

He laughs, in the most humourless way, "Fine, apologise."

I gape at him, "But I don't know what am I apologising for!" I shout and he frowns at me.

"You're sitting in a car and I am literally sitting by your side, so watch your volume, would you?" He asks and I frustratedly remove my frame and close my eyes to take a deep breath.

"Look, I am sorry for whatever you're pissed about even though I have no idea what it is." I tell him before looking out of the window, away from him.

I hear him sigh but he doesn't say anything else to me. Honestly, I have no idea what his deal is but by now it's getting on my nerves extremely. Chris parks his car in his driveway, which is understandable so that we can walk across the street but before I can do, his hold on my wrist holds me back as we see Breanna, Jordan and Evan getting out of his driveway.

"Hey, listen to me," Chris says, staring at me, his expression softened a little, "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"But you did. What's going on with you?" I ask, noticing how he didn't apologise really.

He runs a hand through his hair, "Let's just meet the woman first, and then we talk about it, sounds good?" He asks and I nod hesitantly because I don't really have a choice.

When we cross the road, I notice Cassandra's car by the sidewalk and give Evan my keys to unlock the house. I knock on her window since she hasn't noticed me yet and is busy typing something on her phone.

She jumps in her seat at the sound and I give her a sheepish smile. I slightly wave and she unlocks the door, getting out of the car before locking it again.

"Hey." She says and I give her a smile.

"Hi, you reach here okay?" I ask because I know she has been travelling from over a town, so that's around thirty to forty minute drive, depending upon the road.

"Yeah, thanks." She smiles and her eyes travel behind me where I notice Chris looking between the two of us with a blank expression on this face.

"Uh, that's Chris, my boyfriend." I tell her and she smiles, "Jay, this is Cassandra."

He plasters a smile on his face which I know he has mastered for strangers, "Hey." he offers his hands to her which she shakes.

"She talks a lot about you." Cassandra tells him, making blush erupt on my cheeks as I give her a look.

Chris smirks slightly, arching an eyebrow and I grumble, "I do not."

"Sure. Should we go inside?" He says and I nod, turning to my mother.. biological birth giver, or whatever.

"Just a fair warning, my friends are inside. They wanted to meet you." I tell her and she smiles.

"No problem."

We walk upto the porch and Chris opens the door before stepping in and Cassandra and I follow through. When we get in the living room, I notice Evan sitting on the handrest of the couch and Jordan and Breanna talking in hushed voices.

Evan stands up when he sees me, giving me a nod before his eyes move to Cassandra, his lips parting in what seems to be surprise before his eyes move back to me and then again to her.

"You must be Evan." Cassandra speaks, making me smack myself mentally when I look at the annoying look that passes over Chris's face.

"Hey." Evan smiles, "I am. Nice to meet you." He offers his hand forward and she shakes it before Breanna and Jordan springs up from the couches.

"Breanna, I assume?" Cassandra looks back at me to confirm and I nod, a small smile on my face because I remember describing each of my friends in peace to her, and she's doing her job of impressing my friends pretty good.

"Mrs. Reed." Breanna smiles at her.

"Oh, please, call me Cassandra." She says before her eyes move to Jordan who's observing the whole situation quietly.

He steps forward, "Hey, I am Jordan. Don't know if she said anything about me." He says, and his smile is the only one that seems genuine.

Cassandra laughs a little, "I think she mentions you the most. I mean, aren't you her favourite person or something?"

Jordan's lips part into an even huge grin as he shows off his perfect teeth and winks at me, "Aah, it's always nice to hear that."

"Please, don't boost his already inflated ego." I tell her and she shrugs at me.

Breanna moves over and directs her to the couch and everyone settles down. She looks around, her eyes moving over to every aspect of the living room and down the kitchen before she gives me a small smile.

"Oh, I totally forgot." She says, opening her handbag and pulling out what seems like a shit loads of chocolate bag, "I got this for you."

Evan gives me an evil grin, "I'll take that. She's more of a jelly girl."

"We're splitting that." Jordan tells him and I give both of them looks.

"Three shares." Breanna nods along.

"Seriously guys?" I gape at them and then turn to Cassandra, "You didn't have to bring anything, but thank you. And I am not sharing it with anyone." I assure her because she has turned red ever since Evan mentioned my love for jelly, which she obviously didn't know.

"That's okay. There's enough for sharing." She assures me and I give her a small smile before she turns to Chris, "You don't speak much, do you?"

He looks taken aback by her question but shrugs, making me pass him a look. He sighs before speaking up, "Only when needed."

She nods in understanding before her eyes meet mine, "Have you sent your college applications yet?" She asks and I nod, looking at everyone else.

"It's December already, so like I had to."

"You never mentioned it." Evan frowns at me.

"I am sure all of us have sent it already. It wasn't a secret or anything." I tell him and notice Chris staring at me because I never told anyone where I applied.

"Not all of us." Breanna speaks up and I scowl at her.

"Why didn't you send yours?" I ask.

"I am thinking of taking a year gap." She shrugs.

"Why?" Chris asks her, obviously confused because Breanna's a straight A student unlike any of us.

But I don't need her to answer. I already know the answer. It's Luke. She's thinking of taking a year gap for him so that they can both go to college together. Has she gone nuts?

She must see the look on my face because she stares at me hard, "We'll talk about it later." She says, her eyes moving to Cassandra who looks a little out of place due to the change of topic and I nod.

"Anyway, I am going to head out." Jordan stands up, staring hard at the rest of the three but they don't budge. Eventually, he tugs at Breanna's arm and she finally grunts, rolling her eyes as she waves at Cassandra and me.

"See you guys later."

Jordan glares at Chris, "Hey, didn't Mum tell you that you have lunch at our place?" He gives his friend the fake smile which makes me laugh a little because I know what he's doing.

"Nope. Tell her I'll come over some next time." Chris tells him and focuses his gaze back on me.

"No, she made your favourite today. Chicken fried rice." Jordan says and Chris finally pays attention to him, obviously buying the lie thrown his way.

But then his eyes move to Evan who has made no attempt to leave either and he looks at me, as if asking me to do something about it. I sigh, looking at Cassandra who actually seems to be amused by this whole situation.

"How about I meet all of you tomorrow? Wherever we decide to meet." I say and Evan narrows his eyes at me.

'Seriously?' He mouths and I shrug at him.

"Sounds good to me." Breanna says.

"Bye Cassandra!" Evan stands up, giving her a small smile and Chris follows through.

"It was nice meeting you." He tells her and she smiles at me.

"Oh, it was my pleasure putting faces to the people she talks about all the time." She smiles at everyone and eventually they leave, but not without Evan doing a 'meet me at the window afterwards' gesture.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Chris but he just gives me a small smile before leaving. After it's just Cassandra and me, I turn to her, "Sorry about them, they can be a little crazy."

"Or a little protective." She gives me a knowing smile and I flush with embarrassment.

"They just care a lot." I tell her and she nods.

"I understand." She says, her eyes roaming around the house again and I look up the stairs then down to my father's room behind it.

"He's not home." I tell her, because it suddenly strikes me that her eyes have been wandering a lot, as if she's waiting for someone to appear out of nowhere.

"Huh? Sorry?" She looks surprised by my statement and blush creeps on her cheeks, making me finally come to a conclusion that I get this from her.

"Dad. He's not home." I say and her eyes widen as she nods.

"Does he know I'm here?" She asks.

"Yeah, he does. He's out with his colleagues for lunch, or probably next door with Paul." I inform and she smiles, nodding.

"Paul's a good man." She says, "Evan seems nice too."

"He is. He's incredible." I smile to myself, "A little dorky, but well yeah.."

The smile on her face is a little sad as she asks, "What about Chris? How are things between you two ever since that incident with his father?"

I shrug, "They are okay, like I told you.. I talked to his father last week on Thanksgiving. I kind of understand where he's coming from."

She nods, her eyes moving to the stairs where there are a lot of photo frames. She's squinting her eyes as she tries to look from far away, making me laugh a little as I stand up.

"Come on, I'll give you a tour of the house." I say and her face splits into a huge grin.

The irony of this situation isn't lost on me. Mothers are supposed to be a part of your household, you aren't supposed to give them a house tour of where you have grown up most of your whole life.

I show her the kitchen, leave out Dad's room and then move to stairs. When her eyes move to the photographs, which are basically a lot of frames from my childhood, with Dad holding me, running after me or of the first time Evan and I sat together on the swing set in the park. Of me alone.

"Wow." She says, and I notice how her eyes fill up. I don't know what to say to her, so I just let her soak in all the memories she should have been a part of.

When we get upstairs, I open my room and step inside, "This is my safe haven." I joke as she dabs her eyes with a tissue, smiling as she takes in the room.

"You have no photos in here." She notices, something Chris did too when he was here in this room for the first time.

"Yeah. Just like that." I shrug and notice that my curtains aren't drawn.

"Is this the famous window from where Evan and you talk?" She asks, motioning towards it and I nod, smiling.

"Yup. He's probably not home though." I say, and she turns around to look at me and smiles.

"There's a little tension between the three of you, isn't there?" She asks as she sits down on the chair by my study table and I nod.

"A little is kind of an understatement. But yeah, I am handling it." I tell her, not feeling as weird as I thought I would once I'll have her in my house, or in my room.

Talking to someone on phone and sharing your problems is totally different experience than that person being right in front of you. But she has this awfully positive aura about her which makes me understand why Dad fell for her in the first place.

"Are you hungry?" I ask.

She nods, "What can we have?"

"We can order in.." I say and she looks a little nervous as she responds.

"Or we make something? If that's alright with you?" She offers and I think about it for a moment before nodding.

"What do you have in mind?" I ask.

"How does soup and grilled cheese sound to you?" She asks as we both start to get out of my room and move downstairs to kitchen.

"And? That wouldn't be sufficient for my big appetite." I tell her and she grins.

"Chicken and broccoli?" She suggests and I scrunch up my nose, "It's either that or salad."

"Seriously? I have never eaten that healthy ever in my life." I say and she laughs.

"Well, you're going to eat that healthy today." She says as we enter the kitchen and I open up the refrigerator for her to dig in and get whatever she needs. "I'll ask for your help when I need it. You can go watch television."

Her saying that makes me gulp with emotion because I've heard Miranda tell that to Evan so many times, as have Evelyn told Breanna the same. But I never heard that from my own mother, and listening to her say that now, I don't want to miss this memory.

"Will it be okay if I just sit here?" I ask, sitting on the island stool and she smiles at me.

"Of course."

As she prepares the lunch, we talk about school, about Breanna and Evan, how they became friends only because I was the common factor. I tell her about the latest romance novel I am reading, and how the protagonist is really oblivious to the fact that the male lead is in love with her.

She's just serving food and has an apron around her clothes when I notice my father standing by the kitchen entrance.

"Dad." I say, looking at him with surprise because I didn't expect to see him here, and he seems to be just as surprised, taking in the whole picture.

Cassandra drops the spoon when she notices him, her eyes widening with what seems to be shock. I look between the two of them, and notice how this must be for them. I slide off the stool and clear my throat.

"I'll be upstairs, Dad." I tell him as I pass him by and he nods.

When I approach the stairs, I hear Cassandra speaking first, but I don't linger to eavesdrop, no matter how much I want to. I reach my room but keep the door to it open in case they start arguing but I've never seen my father really lose his calm unless it's about some serious case or injustice.

I look at the window and notice that Evan still isn't in his room and my thoughts wander a little to the two boys who have spiralled my life upside down with these confused feelings.

"An!" I hear my father's voice and immediately startle, snapping out of my thoughts and going to the stairs. "Come downstairs, hon."

I sigh as I trot to the kitchen and notice Cassandra offering me a small smile as she offers me the soup bowl and she does the same with my father, who takes a sit next to me, which is extremely shocking because I didn't expect him to stay.

"Everything alright?" I ask, looking nervously between the two of them.

"Yes, now eat your lunch." Dad scolds me playfully and I roll my eyes, sending a smile Cassandra's way.

Is this how normal families operate? The kids have lunch with both the parents on weekends. Wow. The thought seems absolutely vague to me because I am so used to having lunch either alone or at Evan's place or going to the diner with Chris ever since we started dating, because if he's not practising, he's with me or with the team.

The lunch goes in small talk, which is a little awkward and my father basically devours down the food before he goes into his room, probably to kill the awkwardness.

After a while, I clean up the dishes as Cassandra sits down and watches me do it before she speaks up, "I regret it, you know?"

I frown, "Pardon?"

"I regret not being there to see you grow up. Your father makes it seem like so beautiful." She smiles at me, a tinge of sadness beneath it.

"That's okay. I'm just eighteen yet." I try to reassure her, something I never imagined myself doing.

But her smile in return is enough for me to do that. After I am done with the dishes, Cassandra stands up, "I better leave. Have to be home by dinner." She says and I nod.

When we approach the door, she surprisingly wraps her arms around me, and something about her gesture compels me to do the same.

I hug my mother for the first time in my life. The same mother who gave birth to me.

"Thank you for doing this, An. Means the world to me." She whispers and I nod, tears pricking my eyes.

"Thanks for coming." I tell her and she parts, and I notice the tears that spill her eyes which she quickly wipes away.

When she reaches her car she turns around to wave at me, and I wave back. As she drives away, I notice Chris crossing the street and making his way to my house. When he reaches my door, I immediately wrap my arms around him as a few tears spill down my cheeks.

"Hey, what did she do?" He asks, sounding a little panicked and I can't help the laugh that leaves me.

"She was awfully nice." I tell him and part away so that I can look at him, only to find him frowning.

He wipes my tears with the pad of his thumb, "And that's bad?"

I shake my head as I pull him inside the house and close the door, "It's not bad, it just makes me feel bad since I never had her around." I explain.

He nods in understanding, "Is your father home?" He asks.

"Yup, but he's probably working and won't come out of his room." I say.

"Let's go to your room then." He says, taking my hand and leading us to the stairs.

"I am not sleeping with you while my father is in the same room." I joke and he shakes his head at me, a small smile on his face, "God, I miss your smile."

He halts for a second, turning to me and leaning down to give me a small kiss before we walk to my room. When we are inside, I sit down on my bed against the headboard and he sits down in front of me.

"We need to talk." He says and I whine.

"First, how was lunch at Jordan's?" I tease, trying to change the topic.

"Can't believe I bought that shit." He grumbles and I laugh.

"I can."

He smiles, pulling me closer to himself before he kisses me, like really kisses me like he has never before because I can literally feel his emotions in the way his lips move — the need to be closer, the desperation to claim, him proving that what we have now, it's beyond some stupid crush.

I kiss him back, trying to let out all that I feel for him but am unable to put in words. When our tongues meet, I close any distance between us as my body presses against his in an desperate attempt to prove that this is what I want, that this is something I don't want to lose but my feelings are so fucked up.

When we part away, my knees are pressed into the mattress between his legs as he looks into my eyes and mine search for his dark gray ones, filled with so much emotions that it makes it hard for me to detect any one.

"Chris." I speak up, trying to tell myself that the uncertainty I see on his face is just me hallucinating.

"You need to choose." He whispers, and I feel my heart breaking apart as my eyes immediately fill up with tears and I shake my head.

"No." I keep shaking my head as I part away from him and sit down on the bed and he reaches for my hand, bringing it up to his lips as he presses a kiss on my palm and I try to savour the sensation that runs through me.

"I hate to be the one doing this, Claire," he begins, "But I've been thinking a lot."

"Then you should probably stop thinking." I tell him, forcing back the tears and he smiles a little.

"I wish it were that easy. Remember what you told Jordan? You told him that he's so incredibly lucky to be with someone he loves."

The smile on his face just manages to break my heart further because there's so much sadness beneath it, but I know he's trying to hold it together.

"Not all of us are that lucky, but if you have that chance in your life, then that's your decision to make. But you need to choose." He whispers the last words.

"But what about the way we just kissed — was that for nothing?" I ask, my fingers going upto my lips and he cocks his head to side, studying my face.

"If that's the last we kissed, I want to remember it forever."

"Are you breaking up with me?" I ask, still trying to wrap my head around what is happening.

"If that's what will make you take a decision, then yes, that's what this is." He says.

"Don't do this." I whisper and he stands up, making me reach out for him but he takes a step back.

"I can't make this decision for you, Adrianna, neither can he." He says before walking out of the room, and leaving behind a mess.

•••

i am so sorry that the daily updates are no more a thing. but i'm still trying to update as much as i can.

anyway, thoughts on the chapter?

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