– 3 –

Little had changed back at school, though Mizuki gradually stopped asking Hikari if she would come to a welcoming party. After a month, it seemed a little pointless. The other girls' attitudes had also grown cool toward her. Of course the new girl allure had faded, but might some of this be her fault as well? She did always go straight home and never participated in clubs after school. Perhaps they thought she was rejecting them. Had she alienated them?

The girls didn't exclude her exactly, but they didn't make an effort to include her either. So she was startled that morning when Mizuki again asked her to go karaoke with them after school.

"I'd like to..." Hikari hesitated, surprised to find that she really did want to. How long had it been since she'd gone out with friends and just had fun like a normal high school girl? Even before the... when she'd lived in Tokyo... she had been so busy studying that she had rarely gone out to do anything fun.

Sensing her hesitation, Mizuki pressed again. "Please! We'd really like you to come with us."

"Yeah, you never come with us," Tomomi said.

"I shouldn't... Ren-san has something big coming up. We're really busy right now."

"I hope you're getting paid," Etsuko said. "You seem to be doing as much of Ren-san's work as Ren-san is."

Hikari startled. She didn't know how to reply to such an accusation.

"How about Saturday night?" Nobu asked.

"Eh?" The girls turned hungry ears on him.

"Is this a date?" Mizuki asked.

Nobu's eyes darted back and forth between them. "I just wanted to show Miyabe-chan something."

"Oh, then can we all go?" Etsuko asked.

Nobu's face turned red. "Well, I don't think I can carry all of you on my motorcycle."

"OK." Hikari's words surprised even her. "I'll go."

"Eh?" Her classmates looked both shocked and pleased, none more so than Nobu.

* * *

Jingwen cut their weapon practice short that afternoon. "You seem more distracted than usual. You need to practice your neijing waigong more."

Hikari shook her head flinging sweat about her. "I have to keep going. I still haven't found my weapon yet."

"You won't be able to fight if you can't see." Jingwen tore a strip of cloth from his yellow Shaolin uniform and tied it around her head. "You have tried them all. Which calls out to you?"

Hikari looked at the wall of hanging weapons. "I'd love to be able to use the chain whip, but it would take me forever to learn."

Jingwen nodded. "The chain whip is useful for fighting a foe at a distance. This is desirable against the corrupted, but it is difficult to master. Also, you do not naturally move the correct way for it. You must turn and spin like a dancer to use it."

"How do I move?" Hikari feared she was about to learn some ugly truth about herself.

"You have unconsciously copied Ren's movements. I once suggested she take up the chain whip..."

Hikari swallowed nervously and waited for him to return to the subject of her.

"Sometimes you move like a hummingbird, darting from side to side, dashing in to strike, then dashing out again. Sometimes you move like a mosquito, never staying still, fooling the enemy's eyes by never quite being where he expects you.

"But you are most effective when you fight like a hawk, swooping in and wheeling about, harrying the enemy by striking him from all sides."

Hikari thought about that. "I think I prefer using two weapons."

Jingwen nodded. "You showed promise with the butterfly swords."

Hikari smiled knowing those were Jingwen's own preferred weapons. If she chose those, he would be the perfect teacher for them.

"Perhaps something with a longer reach," she said wistfully. "But not the tiger hook swords." That had been a disaster. The back end of the sword kept cutting her wrists so that Mizuki had discretely asked her if she were cutting herself.

"No." Jingwen agreed. "The hu tou gou is not for you, but there is still time to consider before deciding."

Something thudded against the front door. It opened and Ren staggered in, leaning on her naginata as if it were a staff. Her kimono was rent and blood from a long gash on her arm had soaked one side of it. She staggered and both Hikari and Jigwen rushed to support her.

"What happened?" Hikari shouted.

"A fishing boat ran aground nearby. The whole crew was corrupted." Ren hissed as Hikari wrapped the wounded arm across her shoulders.

"How did they hurt you?" The very idea seemed impossible to Hikari.

"Boat hook."

"Those usually aren't very sharp," Jingwen observed.

Ren kicked off her geta and they helped her step up into the house. She left a thin trail of blood across the floor. "Sharp enough to tear my kimono."

"No. I was asking about your arm." Hikari said.

"Oh. A filleting knife. The captain's young daughter snuck up on me. I hesitated."

"Your arm looks terrible," Hikari said.

Ren shook her head regretfully. "I'm afraid it's a total loss."

"Your arm?"

"No. The kimono."

"Stop worrying about the stupid kimono!"

Ren sighed. "It was a family heirloom."

They maneuvered her toward a couch. Jingwen reached up to touch Ren's forehead. He had to stretch since she was considerably taller than either of them. "You are burning up. You pushed The Draw too hard, didn't you?"

Ren panted heavily as if she couldn't catch her breath. The heat from her body was uncomfortably warm against Hikari's side. She opened her eyes and looked down on them. The whites of her eyes glowed, diffuse beams of light radiating out like a pair of flashlights. "I thought I could save her," she wheezed

Jingwen nearly dropped Ren in rage as they laid her down on the couch. "Why do you always do that? You know how dangerous that is!"

"If there is any chance.... to save them... from the Corruption..."

"Even when there is none, you continue to try."

"One never knows. By your way of thinking, I probably should never have been cleansed.

"Exactly! After what happened to your husband, you know the price that one pays!"

Husband? Ren was married? Hikari couldn't believe it. As far as she had known, Ren had always been single.

Ren's glowing eyes narrowed and cast downward. "We never married. We were only engaged. He broke it off when he was awakened."

"Because he was trying to protect you! Then you got yourself infected...."

"Please don't speak of it. I had no idea what it would be like. I had no idea that I would kill him."

Jingwen gave her a long silent stare. "Is that why you do it? Why you try to save everyone? Are you trying to make up for—"

"I... can't seem... to slow... my breathing," she gasped.

"You must." Jingwen ripped away the blood-encrusted sleeve. Ren winced. Hikari was uncertain if it was from the wound or the tearing of the kimono. "The breath feeds the flame. Practice your yin-yang breathing—long slow breaths in, then hold for the same count, before exhaling slowly. Rest in the emptiness between breaths for the same count. Then slowly inhale."

Ren took a great gulp of breath and tried to comply. Jingwen turned to Hikari. "I'll get the first- aid kit. Go bring some cool wet cloths. We have to get her temperature down."

Hikari and Jingwen raced away to their tasks. She was still panting heavily when they returned. Hikari placed the cool cloth on Ren's head. It was not long before it began to steam.

Jingwen continued to talk her through the meditation process in low even tones as he cleaned and dressed the wound. Ren stiffened as he sewed her up, but her breathing did gradually slow.

"One must be careful in choosing whom to cleanse." Jingwen gave Hikari a sideways look as he spoke. She wasn't sure if it was for her benefit or Ren's. "The more corrupted the person is, the greater the draw and the greater the risk to the Awakened."

"We do what we must," she said softly.

"Stop punishing yourself. You take on too much alone." He muttered around the sewing needle held in his teeth as he wrapped her arm in gauze. "You take on too much alone. "At least take Hikari with you."

Ren's eyes snapped open. They blazed with actual fire. "No!" She bolted upright. "She's not ready!"

Ren grunted in pain as Jingwen pushed her back down. "With a little supervision," he paused and gave Hikari a sideways look. "If she promises to be cautious, I think she is."

"No."

Hikari thought she understood what he was trying to say. Ren was growing too attuned. They would have to help Ren or she would burn up. I'll have to help, Hikari thought. Ren needed her to step up. "But I can help," Hikari insisted.

"I forbid it!"

"You need me!"

"I can manage it. You'll see."

Jingwen replaced the cloth on Ren's forehead with a new cool wet one. "We can discuss this later." A faint trail of steam rose from the new cloth. He stayed with her throughout the night.

Hikari looked in on her later that evening. Ren's body glowed in the darkness with an even greater light. We'll see, Hikari said to herself.

* * *

The next morning, Hikari had planned to call Nobu to cancel their... outing. But when Ren heard about it, she demanded Hikari fulfill her promise, smiling with motherly pride all the while. Hikari even thought she heard Ren "fu-fu-ing" with laughter while Hikari angrily practiced her forms.

Jingwen returned that afternoon with dozens of small bags filled with Chinese herbs and began brewing an elixir. Soon afterward, she heard the sound of a motorcycle pulling up before the house.

Her school in Tokyo would never have allowed this. She couldn't remember if her current school's handbook permitted students to ride motorbikes or not. But then she'd still been in shock when she had enrolled and hadn't really read the handbook or its acknowledgment form when she signed it.

An echo of her grief rose up and she pushed it away. She didn't know if this was a real date or not, or whether Nobu even thought of her the way a boy would think of a girl he wanted to date, but she was determined not to do anything to spoil their time together.

Nobu rode a Vespa that was barely big enough for one rider— much less two. She met him outside just as he turned off the engine. They exchanged greetings then she hopped on the back of his bike and wrapped her arms around him, eager to get away. A wave of dizziness from the close physical contact struck her. She hadn't expected this at all.

Nobu stiffened and his voice wavered. "Shouldn't I go in and greet Ren-san?"

"No. She had a hard night. She's tired and not feeling well."

Nobu nodded. "Ah. My dad has to deal with that every time the office goes out drinking after work." He looked back at Hikari. "I brought a gift of mikan. Should I leave it inside?"

"Iie." Hikari shook her head and held out her hand. "Give it to me. I'll give it to her when we get back. We should go now."

Nobu looked up at the sky. "We don't want to be late." He handed her a helmet. "Here. Put this on."

Nobu started up the Vespa and steered it toward the beach. The sun had already begun its slide down the sky which was darkening behind them in anticipation of night. The sun hovered just above the glittering ocean, the concentrated light of its last efforts glaring at them from the wave tops.

Hikari hid her face behind Nobu's broad shoulders and gripped him tightly as they sped through flickering light and shadow. She took a big whiff of the salty ocean breeze and listened to the sound of crashing waves rising faintly above the whine of Nobu's motorbike. This was one of those rare iconic moments one yearned for but rarely experienced. As ephemeral as a dream, such moments fade into memories of happiness and grief almost as soon as they are recognized. Her heart swelled with both joy and longing and it brought tears to her eyes.

Where was he taking her? What did he not want to be late for? Why had he asked her to come with him and what were his feelings toward her? She wished she knew what he was thinking that moment. She wished she could have worn a skirt, but the Vespa made that impossible. She hoped her loose pants did not allow him to feel the long knives strapped to the inside of her calves.

But of all the questions swirling through her head, she wondered why her heart wouldn't stop racing and why she felt out of breath. Feeling oddly dizzy, she gripped him tighter, enjoying the solidity of his masculine chest. He stiffened and coughed so she eased up on the pressure.

Nobu turned north on the coast highway. A little while later, he turned inland and took a narrow road winding up into the hills toward Honozan Park. He pulled off onto a small outlook were a monument marked the burial place of Izumo no Okuni, the founder of kabuki. He switched off the motor and silence rushed in. Flashing Hikari a self-conscious smile, he removed his helmet and stepped out to the edge of the overlook.

Hikari followed his example and stood silently by his side, watching the waves sparkle as they rolled lazily into shore. The sun's light had shifted to a rich golden hue beyond which the sky had faded to the colors of autumn leaves. A faint breath of wind whispered over them bearing the scents of surrounding vegetation. Hikari resisted the urge to break the silence and draw Nobu's attention. Something inside her slowly relaxed and uncoiled. Had she really been that tense?

They watched the last arc of fire slip below the horizon with a flash of green that disappeared almost before one saw it. Nobu took a breath as if preparing to speak. A tremor of fear and anticipation rose up in Hikari.

"I love... watching the sunset from here..." he drifted off in silence as if struggling to find his words.

Hikari struggled against the urge to prompt him further.

"My father took us here once for hanami. We had a picnic further up in the park to view the cherry blossoms. He's never come back since mom died, but I often do. Even though she is buried elsewhere, I feel closer to her here."

Hikari understood how he felt. The shadow of his shared grief stopped all her words. To think he would open his heart to her, even just a crack. It was an intimacy few Japanese men would share. She felt ashamed for worrying about herself and what he thought of her.

He turned a nervous smile to her. It was an open and honest expression, one that he might have worn as a young child. Hikari found she could almost see that young face. "I wanted to ask you a question," he said. "—an important question — but it seems now is not the right time. Would you wait for me?"

Hikari's heart stumbled over the breath caught in her throat. That had been all but a confession. It was certainly a promise of a proper kokuhaku. She knew what he was going to ask and she was forced to acknowledge the answer she knew she would give. Hikari nodded with a whispered, "Hai."

A feeling, like the gentle brush of a cold and slimy finger tracing some sensitive inner part of her, sent a shiver of disgust through Hikari. Was that the smell of mold and rotting vegetation? She lifted her nose and sniffed. No. Not a smell, but something... Faint voices whispered madness in her ears. The sense of the Corruption was unmistakable. It seemed to come from somewhere to the southwest.

"I need to go home."

Nobu looked startled. "Did I ask something weird?"

Hikari shook her head. "No. I feel there is something wrong at home. I need to go back right now." Hikari strode quickly to the bike and strapped on her helmet. Nobu followed slowly, head down, shoulder slumped. He glanced up at her with a defeated expression and Hikari smiled.

"Don't worry. I'll wait until you're ready." His expression brightened a little and he strapped on his helmet. "But don't take too long." Hikari tried to give him a warning look but her grin spoiled it. "I've already received one confession. I could change my mind."

Nobu's eyes widened. "Who said anything about kokuhaku?" Nobu gave her a wry grin.

Shock and embarrassment rampaged through Hikari when she realized she had accidentally given him her own confession. She blushed, mouth open to make an excuse, but no words came out.

"We better hurry you home, then." Nobu straightened his shoulders and hopped confidently on his motorcycle.