Judged by : EthereaLibrary

1. Parth Probodhika: pristine hues of his peace By dwarkaratna

Total- 82/100

· Review- The story was exceptionally well written, showcasing an impressive and engaging writing style that captivated me from start to finish. The author's command over grammar was remarkable, ensuring a smooth and coherent flow throughout the book. While the dialogue delivery could have been stronger in a few instances, the overall structure and narrative depth were commendable.

2. Alchemy of souls: the lost by strawberry1d

Total- 80/100

· Review- The plot was well written and thoroughly engaging, with an impressive and thought-provoking storyline. However, some sentences were a bit confusing at certain points, which slightly interrupted the flow. Despite that, the overall story was truly captivating and left a strong impression. The character development, though decent, could have been better to add more depth and connection with the reader.

3. Eden at Yuletide by ella_rowan

Total- 77/100

· Review- It was truly wholesome to read this piece, with the characters bringing a warm and engaging touch to the story. The use of language was remarkable, making the writing enjoyable and polished. However, there were moments when the story felt a bit slow, causing it to lose momentum. With some careful editing, these minor lulls can be smoothed out, enhancing the overall flow and keeping the reader fully immersed.

4. In the wake of the war by IrisAsteroid

Total- 79/100

· Review- The plot is strong and engaging, though there were some noticeable loopholes and uncertain details, likely due to its foundation in mythology. Despite these, the story remains well-written, with a writing style that clearly conveys the context and themes. Certain grammar mistakes could easily have been avoided, and a clearer perspective would have enhanced the overall clarity of the narrative.

5. The Duke's reluctant bride by ShigureShinyGaze

Total- 83.5/100

· Review- The story was engaging, with the details being particularly remarkable and well thought out. However, it could have benefited from a bit more background for the characters, as their development felt rushed at times. The pace of the story escalated too quickly, leaving little room for the characters to evolve naturally within the fast-moving plot. It would have been preferable if the narrative allowed more time for the characters to enhance and mold themselves, creating a deeper connection with the reader while maintaining a steady flow.

1. Girl From Parallel Universe: Part 1 By EthereaLibrary

-REVIEW -

Story Strengths:
1. Atmosphere and Tension : Exceptional crafting of a dark, eerie atmosphere, drawing the reader into the characters' desperate situations
2. Psychological Horror : Masterful exploration of inner turmoil and fears, making it a compelling psychological horror story
3. Symbolism : Effective use of darkness as a symbol for inner struggles and emotions
4. Character Development : Well-portrayed emotions, regrets, and dilemmas make characters relatable and complex
5. Multiple Plot Threads : Suspenseful and intriguing multiple plot threads that keep the reader engaged.

Story Weaknesses:
1. Pacing : Minor issues with transitions between scenes and plotlines
2. Clarity : Occasional wordy or unclear sentences
3. Abrupt Ending : Leaves some questions unanswered, but sets up potential for a sequel
4. Lack of Resolution : Some plot threads are left unresolved, but contribute to the overall mystery

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Refine Pacing : Improve transitions between scenes and plotlines for a smoother read.
2. Clarify Unclear Sentences : Simplify wordy or unclear sentences for better flow.
3. Provide a Satisfying Conclusion : Tie up loose ends or hint at a sequel to resolve the story.
4. Character Connections : Explore relationships between characters to add depth.
5. Add More Sensory Details: Incorporate sensory details to enhance the atmosphere and immersion.

Overall:
The story is a masterful mystery/horror tale with a strong atmosphere, effective
psychological horror elements, and complex characters. With minor refinements in pacing, clarity, and resolution, it can become a truly unforgettable read. The author's
writing style and ability to craft a compelling narrative are exceptional strengths. Keep writing and honing your craft!

2. Brekville: Act 2 By mssanadara

-REVIEW-
Story Strengths:
1. Atmosphere and Tension : Masterful crafting of a dark, eerie atmosphere, drawing the reader into the characters' desperate situations
2. Psychological Horror : Effective exploration of inner turmoil and fears, making it a compelling psychological horror story
3. Symbolism : Effective use of darkness as a symbol for inner struggles and emotions
4. Character Development : Well-portrayed emotions, regrets, and dilemmas make characters relatable
5. Multiple Plot Threads : Suspenseful and intriguing multiple plot threads

Story Weaknesses:
1. Pacing : Transitions between scenes and plotlines can be disorienting
2. Clarity : Some sentences are wordy or unclear, making it hard to follow
3. Abrupt Ending : Leaves some questions unanswered
4. Lack of Resolution : Some plot threads are left unresolved

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Refine Pacing : Improve transitions between scenes and plotlines.
2. Clarify Unclear Sentences : Simplify wordy or unclear sentences.
3. Provide a Satisfying Conclusion : Tie up loose ends or hint at a sequel.
4. Develop Character Connections : Explore relationships between characters.
5. Add More Sensory Details : Incorporate sensory details to enhance atmosphere.

Overall :
The story is a gripping and unsettling mystery/horror tale with a strong atmosphere and effective psychological horror elements. With refinement in pacing, clarity, and resolution, it can become an even more engaging and terrifying read. The author's writing style and ability to craft a compelling narrative are notable strengths. Keep
writing and honing your craft!

3. The Mazes Heart By : Rifa_Fathma_

-REVIEW-
Strengths:
1. Atmosphere and Tension : The story masterfully crafts a dark, eerie atmosphere, drawing the reader into the characters' desperate situations (9/10).
2. Psychological Horror : The narrative effectively explores the inner turmoil and fears of the characters, making it a compelling psychological horror story (9.5/10).
3. Symbolism : The use of darkness as a symbol for the characters' inner struggles and emotions is effective (9/10).
4. Character Development : The characters' emotions, regrets, and dilemmas are well-portrayed, making them relatable (8.5/10).
5. Multiple Plot Threads : The story has multiple plot threads, creating suspense and intrigue (8.5/10).

Weaknesses:
1. Pacing : The story jumps between different characters and plotlines, which can be
disorienting (7.5/10).
2. Clarity : Some sentences are wordy or unclear, making it hard to follow the
narrative (7.5/10).
3. Abrupt Ending : The story ends abruptly, leaving some questions unanswered
(7/10).
4. Lack of Resolution : Some plot threads are left unresolved, which can be frustrating for readers (7/10).

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Refine Pacing : Improve transitions between scenes and plotlines.
2. Clarify Unclear Sentences : Simplify wordy or unclear sentences.
3. Provide a Satisfying Conclusion : Tie up loose ends or hint at a sequel.
4. Develop Character Connections : Explore relationships between characters.
5. Add More Sensory Details : Incorporate sensory details to enhance the atmosphere.

Overall :
The story is a gripping and unsettling mystery/horror tale with a strong atmosphere and
effective psychological horror elements. With refinement in pacing, clarity, and
resolution, it can become an even more engaging and terrifying read. Keep writing and honing your craft!

4. The Dracula dossier by BellOfSilence

Strengths:
1. Atmosphere and Tension : The story creates a eerie atmosphere, but could be more intense
2. Plot and Pacing : The plot is engaging, but pacing could be improved
3. Character Development : Characters are somewhat developed, but lack depth
4. Originality and Surprise : The story has some unique elements, but could be more surprising
5. Writing Style and Clarity : Writing is clear, but could be more descriptive.

Weaknesses:
1. Lack of Depth : Characters and plot could be more detailed and complex
2. Predictability : Some elements are somewhat predictable
3. Pacing Issues : Transitions between scenes could be smoother
Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Add more sensory details to enhance atmosphere and tension
2. Develop characters further to make them more relatable and complex
3. Introduce more twists and surprises to keep the reader engaged
4. Refine pacing and transitions for a smoother reading experience

Overall:
The story has potential, but could benefit from further development and refinement to elevate it to the next level in the Mystery/Horror category.

5. Nemesis: A Tale Of Vengeance by wenshi_nykx

Strengths:
1. Atmosphere and Tension : The story effectively creates a dark, eerie atmosphere,
drawing the reader into the characters' desperate situations.
2. Psychological Horror : The narrative explores the inner turmoil and fears of the characters, making it a compelling psychological horror story.
3. Symbolism : The use of darkness as a symbol for the characters' inner struggles and emotions is effective.
4. Character Development : The characters' emotions, regrets, and dilemmas are well-portrayed, making them relatable.
5. Multiple Plot Threads : The story has multiple plot threads, creating suspense and intrigue.

Weaknesses:
1. Pacing : The story jumps between different characters and plotlines, which can be disorienting.
2. Clarity : Some sentences are wordy or unclear, making it hard to follow the
narrative.
3. Abrupt Ending : The story ends abruptly, leaving some questions unanswered.
4. Lack of Resolution : Some plot threads are left unresolved, which can be
frustrating for readers.
5. Character Connections : The connections between characters are not fully explored.

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Refine Pacing : Improve transitions between scenes and plotlines.
2. Clarify Unclear Sentences : Simplify wordy or unclear sentences.3. Provide a Satisfying Conclusion : Tie up loose ends or hint at a sequel.
4. Develop Character Connections : Explore relationships between characters.
5. Add More Sensory Details : Incorporate sensory details to enhance the atmosphere.
By addressing these areas, the story can become even more engaging, suspenseful, and unsettling for readers.

1. The Invisible String of the Heart by darknight7250

TOTAL: 90/100

Title: 9/10 This title took some time to connect with the story and the little dab of info added to the cover of "The girl who had captured my heart" completes the connection to the story. I think without that it may have been harder to connect.

Cover: 7/10 The title of the story is lost on the cover. Some suggestions: Move the title above the couple and move your author name up top making it: Story by Shridhar. Or bring it down below the line "The girl who had captured my heart." With the title in the space above the couple sets it in a place of prominence. I would suggest changing the color of the font for 'Strings of the Heart' to a different color than grey. The grey color font gets lost in the color scheme. Maybe increase the font size by one for "The girl who captured my heart" to make it a little easier to read. Wattpad shrinks downs the covers so we have to keep that in mind when font choices.

Blurb: 9/10 The blurb gives enough information to capture a reader but would benefit with separating the blurb into a few parts, instead of one clump.

Grammar: 9/10 Chapter 4 who ever is answering Gukesh question needs to have dialogue markers (quotation marks) and let us know who's talking, Vidit or Madhav. Chapter 3 the paragraph that starts with "I thought they had forgotten about her" near the end of that paragrpah instead of 'Vidit spoke in', remove the word in, so it reads, Vidit spoke, "You know her' Proofread and make sure your dialogue has beginning and ending quotation marks. Some are missing or either just at the start. Proofread to make sure all proper nouns are capitalized.

Writing Style: 9/10 When using abbreviations for college, businesses or agencies first spell the whole name out, so people know what the abbreviation means through out the story. Example: SIT college, what does S I T stand for? Oh, by chapter 6 I find it stands for Sarvada Institute of Technology. The Chapters first paragraph doesn't need to be indented, but if you want to indent each chapters first paragraph, then five space is the appropriate size of an indentation of a paragraph or start of a new chapter. The first letter of a new chapter doesn't require being in bold font. In Chapter 6 second paragraph under the poster for the college, Arjun's dialogue needs to be capitalized at the beginning. The chapters with indentations, some without any and then chapters with a mix half an half is distracting to the eye for readers. Choose a one course of action with indentations and follow through with it in the whole story.

Dialogue Delivery: 10/10 The dialogue of the characters fits their ages.

Character Development: 13/15 Character development is a little slow. Eight chapters in and still no character development between his crush when they reunite at college. The character development with Madhav and his other friends is the main focus so far.

Plot: 9/10 I'm still waiting for the romance part, but the journey of Madhav in college, that plot is developing well.

Overall Enjoyment: 15/15
I really enjoyed reading this story. The reader gets a chance to see things through the eyes of young college people, specifically Madhav. They are very relatable as well, good job. This story could also fit the Young Adult Category as it is taking a while to get to the romance part of the genre it is entered into.

2. Romantic Story By: aurora_2604

TOTAL: 81.5/100

Title: 5/5 It eventually becomes a romantic story. It depends on whose eyes you look through, Namjoon's, Jin's or maybe Hoseok. The title works well as it is actually a romantic story that holds something deeper.

Cover: 4.5/5 The font choice used for the words at the top of the cover makes it hard to read. The juxtaposition of Jungkook and Taehyung's size on the cover fits the story in so many ways.

Description: 8/10 The tone was a little over the top with the burning, consuming, profound longing, need and unexpected bonds and the final surrendering to love narrative. Toning it down a bit by re-arranging the wording could still convey the depth of their feelings and the intensity of the emotions that are to come in the story. The questions in the blurb: "Are all love stories romantic? Or do they hold something deeper?" in the second question remove the word 'do' and add the word can. The introduction of the main characters, Jungkook and Taehyung, is well done with just one sentence

Writing style: 18/20 Mostly some things that needed correction are things that could be found with proofreading. I mention some of them here as a means to help the author find them easier. As we proofread our stories sometimes our brain sees our stories as already perfect and it takes an outside eye to see the things we miss. I have that happen to and is why I like to have someone review my story and let me know what my brain chose to not see lol. I will start off with chapter 6 as it seemed the chapter with the most things missed by proofreading.

Chapter 6; sentence starting with "Of course I didn't suspect" in the last sentence he says "What kind of a jerk did that him that made him passout." That part needs to be clarified, did you mean: What kind of a jerk did that to him . . .? In Chapter 6 the part in the fourth section of the chapter, whom is spelled whome. The correct spelling is whom. Sometimes these little typo's sneak by our proofreading. Further down Bogum decided give up, should be Bogum decided to give up. Then further down the word slowly is spelled incorrectly with 2 ss (sslowly). Chapter 7 when Sister Lee calls Taehyung's phone but Jungkook answers: "Taehyung is sick, he have a high fever for the past two days" should read "Taehyung is sick, he's had a high fever for the past two days." In Chapter 7 Seokjin "Do you think notice something strange with Jungkook." I think removing the word 'think' will correct the sentence. Chapter 10: desperately fighting to keep his alive. Change the his to him. Chapter 12: The lover who is now struggling to recover for her sake. Her who? Did you mean for his sake?
There are a few typos, examples - "to keep his alive" should be "to keep him alive". "You sacrificed yorself for me" should be "You sacrificed yourself for me." Paramour: according to both Merriam-Webster dictionary and Collin's dictionary are as follows: paramour - Tends to refer to the lover of a married man or woman but may be used for any lovers who aren't obeying the social rules. Collins's Dictionary: paramour - someone's paramour is their lover. In the story JK is telling Tae that he sees him as more than a lover, he is his paramour. Lover and Paramour are synonyms for the same.

Characters: 9/10 The characters follow the same plot and development as in most forced to be together CEO stories. The characters are fleshed out pretty well. Though there seemed to barely enough character info on J Hope till later in the story.

Plot: 18/20
It eventually becomes a romantic story, like the usual forced CEO story plots, that are frequently used, they fall in love in the end. But there is a plot hole that could be taken care of with just a little information in the story about Taehyung. What make this story different is the twists along the way.

Development: 10/10 The story follows the usual pattern/plot of a hate - hate to love hate then finally love-love story. It takes a while but it does get there.

Pacing: 10/10 The pacing of the story was fine, a little slow in some places but not enough to warrant any deductions in points.

Final Impression: 9/10 As far as a romance goes this story was a good hate to love romance kind of story with a couple of twists along the way. I think along the way somewhere in the story the special uniqueness of Taehyung should be brought out to help clarify some things. It will only add to the story in my opinion.

Check your review of the blurb in the category "Best Blub" for another awards to come out soon, for more information on your blurb. The host is waiting on your judge's payments to be completed.

3. The Best Of Me by Seong_Grace

TOTAL: 89/100

Title: 10/10

Cover: 8/10 the small words about the title is hard to read. The words and under the authors name I can't make out. Maybe a change of font would help

Blurb: 9/10 The blurb has just enough to entice a reader to find out what is in their past that could "shatter their idyllic existence."

Grammar: 7/10
Great job with correct active dialogue markers! (Quotation marks) In some chapters the dialogue is handled correctly then in others they are bunched up in the same paragraphs. There is a clear difference in chapter one and chapter two as examples then in chapter three the dialogue is spaced correctly again.
"Your room is 506, top floor." "Thank you." Separate these two characters dialogue. Dialogue between characters should have their own line and not clumped together. It also makes reading the dialogue easier.
(Example)

"Your room is 506, top floor."

"Thank you."

Ellipsis are three dots not four or more. Ellipsis can be formatted either of these two ways: he . . . he left, OR he...he left. As long as there are three, with or without a space between them is correct. "My room is 5006 top floor." I believe you mean 506 top floor as its stated they are roommates.
Chapter One: "Glancing ag the watch." What is ag suppose to be? 'still waiting for them tto get ready' (typo tto) Chapter 10 'bu she pushed away, I believe the bu is meant to be but. I won't go into any more detail, but there are lot of typos that may be found with thorough proofreading. Sentence structure has present and past tense issues through out the story. Example: Rang is the past tense of ring and ranged is the past tense of the word range. There are words that seem to be translated and yet don't quite fit, thus making many sentences sound awkward.
Occasional a sentence is split into two lines, chopping it. There is also plural and singular incompatibility in some sentences. Thankyou should be two words, Thank you (Last chapter)

Writing Style: 7/10 Translating into English affects this writing style along with the inconsistency, as stated under Grammar, concerning the proper spacing of dialogue.

Dialogue Delivery: 10/10 Over looking grammatical issues the vocabulary used between the young characters is fitting. They are not talking above their age level and that makes them relatable in a teen fic.

Character Development: 15/15 The characters are learning and growing as the story plot moves forward, but we will find out just how far they grow and change when the final chapter is written in this on-going story.

Plot: 10/10 The plot is still ongoing but seems to be following the phases required for a good story. The phases are not complete as of yet since the story is still being written. So as, that is the case I won't deduct points.

Overall Enjoyment: 13/15 Typical teenage angst and love. The story is relatable to young readers. Good vocabulary that fits teen fic. The story makes the reader feel 'if only love and being in love was easy.' Work on the 'into English' issues and some of the grammatical difficulties and this story could be so much easier to read and enjoy. Keep learning and never give up writing. My review is only to point things out to help you find them and maybe learn what to look for when proofreading. Proofreading is essential. The basic ideas of your stories are very good.

4. Bound By Chaos by: sulkytae

TOTAL: 97.4/100

Title: 10/10 The titles turns out to fit the story perfectly

Cover: 9.5/10 The cover fits the mafia genre. The fonts read well except for the one line at the top, maybe an increase in font size or make it in bold so it is easier to read.

Blurb: 9.9/10 Some minor things to correct. 'Lucien Hayes, one (of) New York's most feared mafia bosses', the word of needs to be added in that sentence. In the last sentence: One thing's for certain(:) there's no escaping the darkness that binds them, add a colon and remove the hypen.

Grammar: 9/10 Dialogue marks are done correctly, I like seeing that. The Em Dash is used to mark interruption in dialogue, sometimes there is a hyphen in place of an em dash. Hunt them little hyphen buggers down with proofreading and put the em dash there. The Ellipsis are used correctly that is really good to see. No other major punctuation or grammatical errors noticed.

Writing Style: 9/10 suddenly there are indentations used then the next chapter none, then they randomly come and go and some chapters are a mixed, half indented and the other half not.

Dialogue Delivery: 10/10 great delivery of dialogue, easy to understand. Very impressive.

Character Development: 15/15 The characters are developing as the plot moves along.

Plot: 10/10 the plot is exciting and carries the reader along at a even pace.

Overall Enjoyment: 15/15
In the first section titled "Bound by Chaos", when I read the first paragraph my first thought was: oh, no another attempt at passing off porn as a romance story. BOY was I wrong! The story was very well done, that first paragraph in "Bound by Chaos" dragged my mind straight into the gutter though lol. This story was such an edge of your seat read! I can't wait to read more!

5. Reacquainted  by: author_rosalin

TOTAL: 74/100

Title: 7/10 the title fits a romance story and the couple seemingly in a lovers embrace may imply a re-acquaintance. Maybe a little line more about what is to be found in the story will help. The line “a manchester of trust and deception” doesn’t make sense or connect the title to the cover or the story.

Cover: 9/10 The covers style fits the romance genre. What does “a manchester of trust and deception” mean? What is Manchester?

Blurb: 6/10 It may look interesting being able to manipulate the font in the blurb. But it makes the blurb very difficult read. Stuff like that is great for personalized bios but that font choice in the blurb isn’t working and adding to that it is in all caps except in weird little places where it’s not. A mix of caps and lower case, hmm is it strictly the font itself or is the author mixing the capital letters with the lower case . . .?

Grammar:  7/10  Make sure there are proper spacing between words, commas and other punctuation. Make sure correct punctuation is where it’s needed, like at the end of a sentence or question. Chapter one, Samaira’s pov: “A feeling of uneasiness was talking upon me.” You have the word ‘talking’ did you mean another word, like: coming upon me or falling upon me?
Tip: Ellipsis are done in dots of three … or . . . no less than three and no more than three. You can find these if you proofread so you can correct them.
Ellipsis is improperly and extensively over used in chapter 23. It is in places where a period would be proper.

Writing Style: 6/10  The story should be done in ‘align left’ and not ‘align center’. Using “center” has sentences ending up broken apart with one word left on a line by itself. It is improper paragraph structure in story format to use center alignment. In chapter two align left is used but the alignment keeps changing throughout the story. There are long paragraphs that could use separating into two or more for ease of reading. Half way through chapter two the font becomes italic. It is good to have consistency in the font. It helps the story flow be better for the reader’s eye. In further chapters some dialogue is italics. Dialogue jumps from normal font, to italics to bold, the font keeps switching. The writing style keeps changing, paragraph formatting keeps changing. Chapter 19 is done in proper story format but then as with other chapters there is a change again and the next chapter is done using ‘center alignment’ and another with ‘left alignment’

Dialogue Delivery: 8/10 It’s confusing at times, not easily understandable. May be due to translation issues.

Character Development: 13/15 The characters are slowly changing with the plot of the story but 24 chapters in, not by much. The author is promising some major things coming in further chapters, maybe that will be where the development ramps up for the characters.

Plot: 9/10 The plot is the usual forced marriage genre.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/15 The changing paragraph structure and changing fonts interrupt the reading flow of the story and tires a readers eyes. It distracted from the story, thus lessening the overall enjoyment. The story itself seems interesting but the rapid changes in paragraph structure and format along with grammatical errors diminish the joy of reading. Work on your paragraph structuring and punctuation usage and it will improve your story greatly. The story idea is good it just needs some time and attention. Keep learning and improving your story. Use online resources that are available to help. Keep writing and never give up. Do not let what I point out in the review as being meant to discourage you or embarrass you. I point things out because I want you to have a better structured story format for your good story idea.

6. Crossing Lines by _Reenie

7. Forever for you by : dwarkaratna

8. Tellers of lies by _abhipreeti_

9. Fly like flower petals by strawberry1d

10. Rejecting my married mate by SapphirianJ82 was deleted by the author and hence was not judged.