𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑵𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 18
"Remember what you came here for"

"Do it again." Chan spoke as well finished dancing to Fancy. "Mako, you're putting too much power in your moves and that won't help you sing clearer."

I felt intimidated by Chan, sure he was a friend but he also got super serious when it came to practicing. Well no shit, He's our mentor for a reason!

"Alaska, focus." Felix commented as his eyes locked onto my body.

Suddenly, I felt my cheeks getting heated and my heart began to pound like crazy and dancing wasn't helping it either. Felix shouldn't watch me like this, it shouldn't be shown to the camera crew who were filming us.

"Alaska." Suddenly I was brought to the side by Felix.

Oh, I just know that JYP is going to edit this so dramatically as if I'm getting in trouble.

"What?" I glared at him, hoping the cameras wouldn't catch it.

"Your arm isn't matching with the other girls." He said and corrected my arm placement. "Your foot needs to hop up and after you hop on your right then your feet needs to stay apart."

I started to feel irritated at him, I know he's a mentor but he wasn't my mentor anymore shouldn't he be coaching Mako? Does he pity me now?

I miss Chan, where's Chan?

"Alright that's it for right now we can go eat lunch." Chan clapped his hands and then the camera crew left the room to go film the other group.

We had a different schedule than the others which made it a lot easier to film with no interruptions.

I took one last glance at Felix with a cold stare and went to go bug Chan.

"Chan!" I smiled brightly as the poor boy jumped. "Let's eat together!"

"Eat? Oh course! Can Felix come?" Chan asked.

"I guess, I mean Nina and Yuna are coming with." I nodded.

"Let's go get lunch then!" Chan smiled at me and then proceeded to call Felix.

• • •

It wasn't that bad to be honest, Chan was cracking jokes with me and Felix was just staring into space. And by staring into space I could feel his stare onto me and Chan, why didn't he ever speak up?

"Anyways, Felix after this month you'll have a break so I hope you spend those days living in freedom." Chan turns his attention from me to Felix who was sitting across from us.

"Oh? Nice mate." Felix smiled sadly.

"What's wrong? I'd thought you'd be relieved." Chan frowned.

"I am! I'm just not feeling too energetic today, I'm kind of tired." Felix explained and then set his eyes on me.

"You should get some rest at the dorms." I said, already feeling awkward.

"I really should, maybe you could come over and give me another massage." Felix had a cold face which confused me even more.

Was he seriously upset with me?

But why was my heart beating faster now? He looks so pretty.

"I can't." I stood up quickly. "I need to practice, sorry I have to go."

I throw out my tray and left the cafeteria, holy fuck my stomach was in knots once again. I felt someone running after me as I got into the the smaller rooms for vocal training, I hope it isn't Felix or Chan.

Once I closed the door it opened back up almost immediately but it was Nina who stepped inside the room.

"I told you so!" Nina sighed. "I knew you feel some way for him."

"Nina, I can't do this. I really can't how could I ever have feelings for him? He's an idol! I'm just a trainee and even if I make it, the contract strictly prohibits these things!" I confessed. "He's just a friend, he was supposed to remain as a friend and I know I have supported all the members from Stray Kids as a fan but we're friends now and I just think it would be weird for it to happen. I shouldn't have these feelings and now I've ruined my relationship with him, I need to get away."

Nina stood there with widened eyes just trying to process what I had just confessed. "Alaska, no need to panic. I know it looks bad but I believe maybe it's just a little crush, and even if it becomes bigger I know both me and Yuna will support you in any way!"

I sat down with my hands in my face, what was I going to do now? I had to ditch him, I can't talk to him, I can't hang out with him, I can't be around him, I can't even look at him!

Yup, I was definitely panicking.

"Just try to avoid him for now, I can try to help but I also need time to train and such... Remember what you came here for." Nina reminded as she left the room.

"She's right." I say as I look up at the wall. "I came here because I wanted to debut, I want to perform, I want to inspire people."

I got up with a small smile, all I had to do was avoid him! How hard could that be?

• • •

"One, two, three and four, five, six, seven and 8." Chan counted again while looking at us dance.

Chan took a step towards me and adjusted my body to the side with his hands, then I hear a slap on his hand.

I see Felix's hand on Chan's and slowly pull it away from me. "Chan go focus on Rima."

Chan looked at Felix with a shocked look before turning to me with a concerned look and walking across the room towards Rima.

I'm honestly surprised no one else saw that, Jisung was being too loud and there was more focus on him than my area of the room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed quietly making sure we catch none of the girls attention.

"I don't like it when others touch your body like that." Felix says as if it was nothing and continued to fix my posture.

"Okay but you've done the same thing, so what gives?" I rolled my eyes before taking a step back from him.

"You do have a point." Felix frowned and he began to scratch the back of neck like an idiot. "I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable and you never told me you felt uncomfortable when we danced."

"Because I do feel comfortable with you, but that doesn't mean I don't feel comfortable with Chan." I replied. "Now can I practice alone?"

I had to get away from him or I felt like I was going to burst, I can't keep this secret for long I mean I feel like I want to shout it out to the world.

Felix was amazing, he understood me and he was patient. I love the way he was patient with the way I felt and he was so cuddly and cute whenever he was with me. I feel like I've known him for years, He's just so easy to get comfortable with. He can also be very funny at times, He's like an energetic chick that will always hear you out no matter what.

"Yeah." Felix looked down before going back to his sitting area.

Great, now I felt worse. I didn't want him to be sad, I wish we could joke around like we did before. But these feelings will be the end of me, I was never good at containing my feelings.

Once practice was over it was 9PM, I was so tired of everything to be completely honest. After Felix left me alone it seemed as if Mako took that to her advantage and began to drag Felix to where she was practicing.

I shouldn't try to fight that anymore, he should get closer to her because I don't want my feelings to end our friendship. I think I'm jealous, I always have been.