4 months later

The first thing I do when I wake up is retrieve the diary to read the latest entry. Starting the day as close to my Aunt as I can get.

1st June 1939

I told William I loved him for the first time. I don't really know why it took me so long. Perhaps I was afraid that once he knew I had feelings he would run. I know him well enough to know that's not the case now. 

He has been so busy with work recently, he told me he wants to save for our future and sweet though that is I don't want a future that neglects the here and now. I tried to tell him as much but he was so earnest as he promised it was all for me.

Mary-Anne asked why we have not married yet and I told her I did not want to marry before I was eighteen. She asked if that was just because he hadn't proposed to me yet and I told her to hush. I would certainly say yes if he asked me but I'm in no hurry to reach the altar. I am quite enjoying our life as it is. Me at home with Mama, Papa and Clemmie and then able to spend my time not working with him. I know he loves me and I love him. Surely that should be enough? She told me that Eliza, a girl we used to be close to, moved one town over to be with her lover and is still not married despite the fact they have a child on the way. Apparently it is quite the scandal. 

I am not oblivious to men or their urges, nor am I oblivious to my own needs. William and I have kissed, many times in fact. Perhaps this is not something I should be recording. The church would absolutely frown on it and I am sure Mama and Papa would not be pleased either. If either of you are reading this you should forget you saw this. These are my private thoughts and if I wanted to share them with you I would have. 

Anyway, back to my declaration of love. William stared at me after I said it, he was just about to say goodbye after walking me home. I smiled awkwardly and moved to leave but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me behind one of the large oak trees that stood, equally spaced in front of the row of houses we lived in. I asked him what he was doing and he said hiding us so he could kiss me.

We have never kissed anywhere quite so public before and my heart stuttered in my chest. He kissed me and the world stopped as he promised that he would love me every day for as long as we both lived and likely beyond that too.

I am so happy I don't even know how to put it into words. Every day we spend together is a blessing and I will be eternally grateful to Mary-Anne's love of ridiculous westerns, those who created the Jesse James film and the Astoria for bringing us together.

Until tomorrow diary. 

I sighed. Each new entry I had read over the last six months had been more loved up than the last. I didn't know when she would lose this love of her life but after reading almost six months of their time together I can already imagine how crushed she will be.

My research alongside reading the diary reminded me that something big historically was to come later in the year this was written. I couldn't imagine how it would affect them both. Though I had never known William I was learning so much about him through the eyes of my Aunt and the letters he had written to her.

His writing was appalling. A messy scrawl in comparison to my Aunt's. Barely legible at times. It was what he had written though that really counted. His words more poetic and fanciful than I had ever expected. 

It wasn't quite Shakespeare but it was heartfelt. He spoke of the day they first met and how he hid near the screen and watched her. It should have seemed creepy and perhaps it was a little but the way he compared her to an angel and told her that she lit up rooms and stole his heart before he even knew her name? That was love. True love-at-first-sight magical and powerful love. The love that only existed in story books but they had it. 

With a sigh I placed the diary back on my bedside. My page still marked with the note Aunt Addie had left. Waking up and reading her entries each day had been an oddly healing experience. As though she were still with me after all.

As I roll out of bed and stumble over last night's discarded clothes I groan, remembering I meant to do a load of washing yesterday but instead I had spent the whole day at The Astoria. They were finally taking the scaffolding down and revealing the repairs and improvements we had made to the shell of it. 

The cracks refilled, structure supported and each window pane replaced so it was now water tight (a fact that had been causing a number of internal issues for us up until this point). Even the roof and signs were repaired. I couldn't wait for the day I could switch them on and the whole town would know the Astoria was open once more. 

Reluctantly pushing the Astoria and it's progress from my mind I brushed my teeth and quickly did my make up.

The mornings always seemed to go so quickly and I soon turned my attention to the business at hand of finding an outfit to wear to the office. I needed something that wouldn't stick to every inch of me on the tube in the sticky disgusting heatwave we were experiencing. 

That ruled out every silk blouse so I swiped them all to the side and stared at the remains. My gaze wandered back and forth in a calculating way before finally settling on a cream sleeveless top. The pleats round the neck somehow disguised my distinct lack of chest and the floaty material skimmed tastefully over my belly.

My eyes searching the row below before I hesitantly pulled out some tailored yellow trousers. I had bought them as a spur of the moment thing, convinced that more colours in my wardrobe somehow reinvented me. It hadn't and they hadn't left the wardrobe in the couple of years I had had them.

I knew they would suit me, that style always did, it was just if I was brave enough to wear them.

Screw it. If my Aunt can say 'I love you' to a man she has known five months then I can wear the damn trousers.

I pull on some nude heels and a simple gold daisy necklace, leaving quickly before I can change my mind and replace them with one of the many black, grey or navy options.

The train is predictable stuffy and I regret leaving so quickly I forgot to put my hair up. Strands of it are sticking to my neck and I think my scalp might be sweating. It certainly feels like it might be.

My wireless headphones feel like they might fall out of my ears any second but I keep them in anyway. I'm not listening to anything, in fact they're not even connected to my phone. However if there is one thing I have learnt as a commuter it's that almost everyone respects the 'headphones mean I don't want to talk' rule.

By the time I finally step out onto the street I'm disappointed to find there is no breeze and even the movement from passing traffic is just pushing waves of more heat over me.

Adjusting my sunglasses and thanking the make-up gods for everything waterproof, I make my way to the office.

I notice the looks from people I pass and remind myself that this is why I don't like bright colours. Against the standard suits and work atire, it stands out. And I really hate to stand out.

A guy I've seen a hundred times before, double takes and holds the lift for me. I briefly consider the stairs but combined with the heat and the fact the lift has air conditioning I force myself to step inside.

"It's hot today isn't it." The man says, no doubt about to attempt to impress me with his sparkling wit or some pick-up line he read on Ladbible.

Thinking quickly I point to the headphones and mouth 'sorry'.

He pulls an oops face and mimes zipping his lips.

As soon as we hit my floor, my phone starts ringing and I step out quickly, before he can realise I was faking the phone call.

"Oh hi Azzy, I was just calling you." Anya moves out from behind the reception desk with a smile.

She's wearing a pretty lavender dress that is almost a perfect match to the lavender strands woven into her beautiful braids currently styled in a pretty crown atop her head.

"Wow boss, you look incredible." The surprise in Anya's voice is enough to get my back up and I instantly regret the outfit.

"Thank you." I reply tightly, marching down the hall to my office.

She falls into step alongside me, "The colour suits you, you should definitely wear it more."

We've reached my office now and I turn to give her what I hope is a polite smile through mostly gritted teeth, "I'll keep that in mind, did you need anything?"

I'm already pushing open the door to head inside but before she can reply a low whistle comes from inside the office and a voice says, "Well hello sunshine."