What if I stay forever
What if there's no goodbye
Frozen for a moment here in time

--You and I Tonight by Faber Drive

--

Lena woke up crying. Nanaginip kasi siyang nakaalis na si Cyrus ng bansa. He's still going away, but not until Friday. May tatlong araw pa silang magkasama. But in her dream, he left without saying goodbye. She remembered running after the plane on the runway. It was so vivid that she almost felt her leg muscles aching.

Pero lahat ng sakit at lungkot na naramdaman niya ay biglang nawala nang mahimasmasan siya. She reached for Bailey and Kier. She must have kicked the two out of bed.

Her dogs jumped on the bed and lied beside her. Si Bailey, sa may ulunan niya at si Kier naman sa tiyan niya. She turned the lampshade on and reached for her phone. She called Cyrus to make sure that he's still in the same country.

She was instantly relieved when she heard his voice.

"Hi. Sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay," he replied sleepily. "What's the matter?"

She told him about her dream. What she remembers, anyway. Nakalimutan na niya agad iyong ibang nangyari.

"Lena, tatlong araw pa bago ako umalis. Huwag ka namang excited," he joked.

Sumimangot siya. Ayaw na nga niyang mag-Biyernes, e. Kung pwede lang na wala nang Biyernes sa kalendaryo para hindi ito umalis.

"Do you want me to come over?" tanong nito maya-maya.

"Mamaya na lang. Sige na, matulog ka na."

"Okay. Good night."

"Good night."

--

Morning hugs are the best. She's not a morning person, but if he's the one who'll wake her up every day, then she will have no complaints. He smells like morning, sunshine and positivity. At kahit hindi pa siya nakakaligo, kung makayakap ito sa kanya ay animo'y ang bango-bango niya.

"Morning," he murmured.

She mumbled her reply and buried her face in his chest. Parang gusto ulit niyang matulog. But he quickly loosened his embrace and walked to the kitchen, with her tailing behind him.

"What do you want for breakfast?" he asked while rummaging the cupboards.

"More sleep."

He let out a chuckle and pulled her close. "You can sleep later. We have so much to do today."

"Like what?"

"Outdoor stuff."

She grimaced. "No hiking please."

"No hiking," he agreed. "We'll take Bailey and Kier out for a walk."

Bailey's tail wagged at the mention of 'walk'. He knew what it meant. Na-excite tuloy ito bigla. Si Kier naman, walang ideya sa gagawin nila kaya tuloy-tuloy lang ito sa pagkagat sa tenga ni Bailey.

Cyrus made pancakes for them. He insisted on putting sliced strawberries (ugh) and blueberries (ugh) on top. She likes fruits, all right, just not berries. Naaasiman siya. She likes her pancakes simple, just a knob of butter with maple and chocolate syrup. But he argued that it's too sweet and needed something to balance it out, para raw hindi nakakaumay kainin.

She didn't like the combination, and made sure that he knows. He didn't care, though. He said he prioritizes her needs, not her wants. And that she needs to be healthy.

She took a quick bath after breakfast and then they headed to the nearest park to have a picnic. They ended up not just walking the two dogs but also playing with them for hours. Bailey has mastered the art of fetch, and he proved to Kier that he's the best at it, running around in haste to retrieve the Frisbee disc that Cyrus was throwing. While the two were playing, siya naman ay nakikipaglaro kay Kier. He especially liked playing with lawn tennis balls.

Cyrus's first surprise came a little after ten in the morning. Sandy walked up to them with Maggie on the leash. The two men talked for a bit while she plays with the two dogs. She knew Bailey liked Maggie ever since they met and she understands why. Maggie's pretty, in a doggy kind of way. Her fur's soft and shiny, halatang alagang-alaga. And she's always smiling.

Maya-maya ay nilapitan siya nina Sandy at Cyrus. Sandy removed the leash from Maggie's collar and told the dog to play around with Bailey and Kier. Saka siya nito kinausap.

"Do you like Maggie, Lena?" Sandy asked her.

Agad siyang tumango. "Bailey likes her, too."

"Talaga? That's good to hear."

"Why'd you ask?"

Nginitian siya ni Sandy. "Well, nanganak kasi 'yong dalawa kong aso. Sabi ng misis ko, magbawas daw ako ng alaga. Ayaw naman niyang ipamigay 'yong mga tutang kaaanak kasi mahal ang breed. As you know, the dogs in my cafe are up for adoption. Maggie's been there for a year pero walang kumukuha sa kanya."

She looked at Maggie and could not believe that no one has decided to adopt the lovely dog yet.

"Maggie's deaf," Sandy added.

"Oh." She patted the dog's head and it licked her hand affectionately. "Poor girl."

"You can have her if you want to. I know you'll take good care of her," Sandy told her.

"Really?"

Sandy nodded. "You'll love Maggie. Madali syang alagaan."

"So, will you adopt her?" Cyrus asked.

"Of course!" She pulled Maggie to her lap. Maggie doesn't bark, which does not make her a good watch dog. But she's affectionate and seems to like to cuddle, na gustong-gusto naman niya. "Thank you, Sandy."

--

Lena knew that Cyrus thought that it would be better for her to have a new dog to cope with his absence. Malilibang nga naman siya dahil tatlo na ang aalagaan niya. But even if her house was full of dogs, it still wouldn't amount to his presence that she will surely miss when he goes. She didn't tell him that, of course. She didn't want him to change his mind.

The second surprise came after their quick trip to the vet and dog spa (Cyrus paid for everything) that afternoon.

"I'm selling the lot."

"Which lot?" she asked, confused.

"The one in Antipolo."

"Why?"

"I want to have a fresh start," he answered. "The unfinished house was the last thing anchoring me to Joanna. I don't think that holding on to it is fair to you."

"But didn't you say that you will never forget her? That she'll always have a special place in your heart? Wouldn't selling the lot be like letting her go?"

Cyrus shook his head. "She'll always be here," he told her, patting the left side of his chest, and continued, "but wouldn't you mind living in that house? Ayos lang sa 'yong do'n tayo tumira kapag kinasal na tayo?"

His question caught her off-guard. Pakiramdam niya ay nag-buffer ang utak niya dahil sa tanong na iyon. Kasal? Kasal agad? Sure, she thinks about that, too, but saying it out loud is different.

"Lena, bakit namumutla ka? Ayaw mo bang makasal sa 'kin?"

"I-I just—I-I don't know what to say."

He's already making plans while she's just going with the flow. She didn't want to think too much about the future, afraid to overanalyze everything.

He kissed her cheek. "You don't have to say anything. For now."

--

Lena and Cyrus spent the next day on a road trip. And for the full experience, he agreed to her plan of commuting. She regretted the decision, though. They're on a bus going down south when she realized that she should have let him bring the car. Maraming magagandang puno sa daan, iyong paborito niyang klase, nakakalbo na at halos walang mga dahon. The branches look like intricate sculptures against the blue sky and she wanted to take pictures but she can't. Hindi naman niya pwedeng patigilin maya't maya ang bus.

"There'll still be plenty of trees ahead," Cyrus assured her. "I would suggest that we walk from here if not for the sun. Baka matusta tayo pareho sa init."

Mag-a-alas nueve na nang bumaba sila sa Los Baños para bumili ng sikat na chocolate cake mula roon. She's been dying to try one ever since she heard of it. Gusto sana niyang bilhin iyong pinaka-malaking box pero sabi ni Cyrus, mahirap daw iyong dalhin. Marami pa silang pupuntahan. That was just the first stop. So she settled for the smallest cake, a chocolate roll. To say that it was decadent was an understatement.

They had breakfast at Victoria. Unang beses niyang makakain ng karne ng kambing. Ayaw na niyang umulit. They also had the famous salted eggs which the town was known for. But her favorite would be the adobong itik, na puro buto, pero masarap naman.

They rode the jeep to Pila, where she took pictures of the old houses. Dumaan din sila sa Sta. Cruz para tumikim ng kesong puti. They were able to buy some para ipangpasalubong. Maliit kasi iyon. Cyrus insisted that they only buy small things, kasi nga wala silang dalang kotse.

Next, they headed to the Pagsanjan church before going right to Luisiana. 'Yong falls talaga roon ang pakay nila. Napakarami lang nilang detour. Hindi sila nakalangoy dahil bukod sa pagod na sila kagagala ay wala pa silang dalang damit na pamalit.

They had an early dinner at Kamayan sa Isdaan, a restaurant in Tayabas. Gutom na gutom siya kaya naparami tuloy ang kain niya. He bought another cake for her. Yema cake naman, na miniryenda nila sa Lucban.

Mag-a-alas otso na nang umalis sila ng Grand Central Terminal pabalik sa Maynila. She was so tired that she slept through the whole ride. Ginising na lamang siya ni Cyrus nang malapit na sila.

Cyrus stayed until midnight. Nanuod sila ng TV katabi ang mga aso nila. Her mind was somewhere else, though. He's leaving the next day. Sa susunod na mga araw pagkatapos noon, mag-isa na lamang siya. He promised to video chat with her every day, but she knew that it would never be enough. Nothing compares to that indescribable feeling when he's holding her.

She looked up to him. He seems like he's in deep thought. Mukhang wala rin sa palabas ang utak nito.

"Cy..."

"Hmm?"

She was about to ask him to kiss her, but then she stopped herself. Why ask when she can do it herself? So she pulled his head down until she felt his lips on hers. She used to think that kissing was both hot and gross. She didn't know if she will like it. Before Cyrus, she had no experience with kissing. She didn't know how to do it properly. She didn't even know how it would feel like.

And then it dawned on her that it doesn't matter if you're good at it or not. You'll learn to be good at it, no matter how inexperienced you are. It just takes the right person, and she's glad that she didn't have to kiss any frog to know if she will ever find the prince.

One thing about kisses, though, is that it usually goes out of hand. Lalo na kapag punong-puno ng emosyon.

She didn't mean to push him, but his hand landed on a place where it shouldn't be and she panicked. She wasn't ready for anything else yet.

"S-Sorry!" she told him. "I didn't mean to. I just—I got scared. I—"

"Lena, it's okay," masuyo nitong sabi. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have done that."

Whether or not what happened affected his mood, she didn't know. But he did leave shortly after.

--

They'll be having lunch the next day, together with their families. Pa-despedida raw kay Cyrus. Maaga pa lamang ay nag-ayos na siya at ipinahabilin sa kapitbahay ang mga aso niya. She felt like she was asking for too much, but her neighbors assured her that it's all right. Masaya pa nga raw ang dalawang bata dahil dumami ang kalaro ng mga ito.

Sinundo siya ni Cyrus bago mag-alas once. They headed to his father's restaurant, which was closed for the day, to cater to the event. Her parents and his family arrived before twelve. Nandoon din si Martin, ang bukod tanging kaibigan nito na kasama sa handaan. Nauna na kasing magpa-despedida ang mga katrabaho nito.

Their parents immediately clicked, especially their moms. Siguro ay dahil na rin magkaugali. Kenna found a friend in Clem, who was more than willing to share her beauty tips with her sister. Ang kapatid naman niyang si Lacey, agad na ipinagkasundo si Cadence kay Logan, which irritated her brother. Cadence seemed to feel the same and told Lacey that she'd rather wait for Nikola. Nikola, to everyone's surprise, declined, saying that he already has a girlfriend. Her father looked so proud.

"Ang taray, ha. Magkasundo na ang mga pamilya natin. Hindi na kayo mahihirapang makisama kapag kinasal na kayo," pabulong na sabi ni Clem sa kanya.

Her father must have heard that, because he cleared his throat loudly. Luckily, the food arrived just in time and everyone's attention was suddenly diverted.

The lunch lasted for four hours, pero lahat sila ay sang-ayon na bitin pa rin iyon. Their mothers already made plans for another gathering. It was a little bittersweet. She wished that they got to do that on a different circumstance.

--

Cyrus spent the remaining hours with her, and then they reunited with their families again for his departure. She put on a brave face and told herself not to cry (or at least smile, if she can't help it). She was the last person that he said goodbye to. At pinakamatagal.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

He kissed the top of her head. "I'll call every day, okay?"

Tumango siya.

"Remember your promise, Lena. Kumain ka ng gulay," paalala nito. He laughed when she scowled. "And take care of our kids."

"What kids?" agad na tanong ng daddy niya.

"He meant the dogs, Dad," paliwanag niya sa ama.

"Ah. Akala ko kung ano na, e."

Cyrus grinned. Then he bent down to kiss her. It must have gotten uncomfortably long because she heard her dad telling them to cut it out.

"I love you," Cyrus said after.

"I-I love you, too."

The last call for the passengers of his flight almost made her cry. Everyone stood behind her as she said goodbye, again and again. Halos patalikod nang maglakad si Cyrus dahil sa maya't maya nitong paglingon. But eventually, he reached his destination.

And all the tears she was holding back earlier suddenly fell when he finally disappeared.