You make it so, you make it so,
You make it so easy
This letting go is so beautiful,
Cause you make it so easy,
To fall so hard, to fall so hard

-So Easy by Phillip Phillips

--

"H-How long have you been there?" Lena asked.

Matalim ang tingin na ibinigay nito sa kanya. "Long enough," he answered coldly.

"Cy, what you heard-"

He held up his hand, stopping her from speaking further. "Not now, Lena. I'm tired."

"But-"

He walked passed her. Pumasok ito sa kwarto nito at pataklab na isinara ang pinto. Her heart sank. He didn't hear enough. If he did, then he wouldn't be this angry.

She walked to the door of his room and raised her hand to knock. Pero pinigilan niya ang sarili. Baka may masabi pa siyang mas ikagalit nito. Baka lumala lang ang sitwasyon. Her fears quickly took over, and she ended up sulking on the bed, inside her room, thinking about how everything went wrong in just a snap.

That night was torture. She was so depressed, but she couldn't sleep because she's alone. Kahit magdamag na siyang umiyak ay hindi pa rin siya nakatulog.

She ruined everything again. Why does she always have to fuck things up?

--

The next morning, Lena learned that Martin and Lacey were gone. They still have one day before they head back to the city and she was thinking of sorting things out with Cyrus, but he didn't want to talk. He just told her to pack her things. They headed home after breakfast.

Sa kotse, plinano rin niyang makipag-usap, pero nagpatugtog naman ito ng malakas. She wasn't assertive enough to tell him to turn it off or turn it off herself. Cowardice ruled over again, as always. By the time they arrived at her house, masamang-masama na ang loob niya rito. He didn't even give her the chance to explain.

"Ang unfair nila, Bai," sumbong niya sa alaga habang yakap-yakap ito. She didn't want to cry but she couldn't help it. Akala niya ay ayos na. Bakit naman naging ganoon? He's the one who told her to speak up to not be misunderstood but why won't he listen?

Bailey licked her face to give her comfort. Hinigpitan niya ang yakap sa alaga.

"What should I do? Tawagan ko pa? Pero baka naman hindi nya sagutin," himutok niya. But she took her phone anyway. She dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. Nakailang ring na ang phone nito pero hindi pa rin nito sinasagot. "See? He wouldn't answer," she told Bailey.

Sana talaga ay hindi na lamang niya kinausap si Martin. Things became worse because of that. Not only did Lacey and Cyrus misinterpret things, but the paparazzi also made mountains out of molehills again. Somebody took a picture of her and Martin and plastered the wrong caption, misinforming anyone who sees it.

Ang nakakainis pa roon, even her art were receiving hate. Dati naman ay walang masamang comments sa IG niya. Ngayon puro 'Ang pangit ng gawa mo' o 'Hindi ka naman magaling'. May naliligaw pa minsan na 'Malandi ka!'. Tapos kinikwestyon din kung bakit nagawa niya iyon sa kapatid niya. Ni hindi man lamang inalam ng mga ito ang buong kwento. That's how people usually are in social media. They get a portion of the story and then they'll judge you as if they know every detail.

Of course, they all sided with Lacey. Masama ang dating nila ni Martin sa mga tao. Pero ang pinakamasaklap ay iyong kumento n asana si Cyrus at Lacey na lang daw. Mas bagay daw ang dalawa.

That hurt the most.

Since Cyrus wouldn't talk to her and Lacey was nowhere to be found, and practically every fan of her sister hates her, wala siyang nagawa sa bahay kundi magmukmok. She ordered two boxes of pizza earlier, just so she'll have something to eat until dinner.

But her stomach won't accept her favorite food. So she ended up feeding Bailey with the pizza habang siya naman ay nagluto na lang ng kahit ano. Hindi na rin siya sanay na walang kausap. Dati ay nakakatagal siyang si Bailey lamang ang kausap sa maghapon. Ngayon, parang mababaliw na siya. How did she ever survive all those days just talking to Bailey alone?

When night came, she tried calling Cyrus again. Nagri-ring ang phone nito pero walang sumasagot. Sa inis niya ay naibato niya ang phone. She regretted it later. Durog na durog ang screen noon at ayaw nang magbukas. Wala na siyang nagawa kundi umiyak na lang. It was the most frustrating day of her life. And the longest, too. Time seemed to have slowed down, prolonging her misery.

After feeding Bailey, she decided to just sleep it off.

--

The next day was no better. Her frustration doubled because 1) there's no way of contacting Cyrus now, and 2) she wouldn't know if he's trying to contact her. Baka lipas na pala ang galit nito at handa nang makipagbati, pero siya naman ang hindi nito matawagan.

Pero kung ganoon, madali lang naman siyang puntahan. So she waited for him to come, thinking that he will, only to be disappointed when the day ended and no Cyrus came.

Sadness the next great motivator and Lena knows that she's more productive when sad or hurt. And that night, she was both. She was already tired of crying, and her eyes hurt, that's why she decided to channel the pain and sadness on other things.

Kumuha siya ng gunting at nagsimulang gumupit ng colored paper.

"I'll be making something to slap him with," she told her dog when he came to see what she's doing.

She didn't sleep that night. Ilang pages lang ang ginawa niyang pop-up book. Since Cyrus wouldn't listen to her, then she will just have to make him read what she wanted to say.

Once there was a shy girl who was so afraid to leave her comfort zone, says the first page. There was a pop up of a silhouette of a girl inside a bubble. She put Bailey there, too.

Then this guy came along... On the upper left of the second page, there's still the girl in the bubble, but there's also a silhouette of a guy outside it. He showed her how great it is to feel alive. She made popups of some of the things they did in the past.

Sa pangatlong page, may popup ng puso, sa loob noon ay may dalawang kamay na magka-pinky swear.

They made a deal, to help each other move on from the past and to face the future together, until the day comes that one of them decides that it's too scary to go on.

After a few months, he asked her if they could make a new deal, a better deal, and she told him no. But that didn't stop him from asking again and again, until she found herself confused, not knowing exactly where they stand anymore. As things become complicated, she finds herself slowly sneaking back into her shell. The fourth popup was showing the girl sneaking inside the bubble while the guy was holding on to her hand. But he didn't let go. He didn't give up until eventually, his persistence paid off.

On the last page was the girl giving her heart to the guy.

"I'm giving you my heart," she told him. "Please don't break it."

"If you break it, I'll hate you forever," she muttered. "Kahit alam kong hindi ko kaya."

--

Kinabukasan, maghapong tulog si Lena dahil sa puyat. Bailey woke her up. Gutom na gutom na ito. Gutom na gutom na rin siya, but all they have are leftover pizza. Bailey didn't want to eat pizza anymore, so she asked the neighbor to give him some leftover food. Wala rin kasi siyang dog food. She feeds Bailey with human food. He's used to that.

Her neighbor must have sensed her hunger as well because they also gave her food. Hindi na siya nahiyang tanggapin iyon. Gutom na gutom na kasi talaga siya.

Nang makakain ay agad siyang naligo at pumunta sa office nina Martin. When she found out that he wasn't there, she quickly headed to his condo. Nakailang urong-sulong pa siya nang nasa tapat na siya ng pintuan ng unit nito, nag-aalangang kumatok.

But she mustered her courage. She will just give him what she made. Pagkatapos noon, bahala na. At least he couldn't say that she didn't even try because she did, many times. And now, it's up to him.

Kung ayaw pa rin nito ay hindi na niya alam ang gagawin. Bahala na.

She knocked loudly many times. Tumigil lang siya nang sumakit nang husto ang kamay. And when she stopped, saka naman nito binuksan ang pinto. He was shocked to see her standing outside.

She was mad, happy and in love, all at the same time. She wanted to kiss him and punch him in the face. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin. They were standing there like two idiots, gawking at each other. Finally, she was able to move her arms.

She pushed the popup books in his hands and ran off. Nang nasa may elevator na ay saka siya tumigil at naghintay.

Nang wala pa rin ito after 5 minutes ay padabog niyang pinindot ang down button. Well, there goes her effort. At least you tried, she consoled herself.

The elevator door opened and she was about to go in when she was suddenly pulled back.

"Do you mean it?" Cyrus asked. He was holding the popup book on one hand. "Is this for real?"

She glared at him. Nangingilid na naman ang mga luha niya.

"Yes," she replied. "Just give it back if you don't want it."

His expression softened. "Why would I give it back? I've been waiting for this for a long time."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair.

"I love you, too."