And I can't lie
From you I cannot hide

--Breathless by The Corrs

--

Ever since his birthday surprise, Cyrus became a lot sweeter towards Lena. Halos doon na ito nakatira sa bahay niya, katulong niya sa paglilinis, tagagising niya ito sa umaga at tagaluto sa gabi. Then on weekends, they will go out of town, just the two of them and experience life the way it needs to be experienced.

The best one so far was when they went up north just to stargaze. Cyrus borrowed a pickup truck from his uncle, filled it with pillows, blankets and food and they rode to somewhere in Tarlac. Pagabi na nang magbyahe sila kaya saktong wala ng araw nang makarating sila sa lugar. Hindi niya alam 'yong mismong lugar pero may pagka-probinsya iyon, walang matataas na building kaya kitang-kita ang langit. Cyrus parked the truck on an empty land near the road.

They settled at the back, with the pillows behind their heads and potato chips in hand.

"Do you know any constellation?" he asked.

"Big dipper," she replied, while munching on a potato chip. "Little dipper. Then big dipper. And little dipper again."

He laughed. "'Yon lang?"

She shrugged. "I don't bother knowing the constellations. I just like looking at the stars."

"Makakatulong sa 'yo na alamin sila. Minsan, kapag naliligaw ka, you can find your way back home by looking at certain stars and constellations."

"Bakit naman ako maliligaw?"

"Halimbawa, kapag nag-hike ka."

She frowned. "Why would I go hiking? I don't like hiking. It's exhausting."

"But I like hiking," he told her, drowning too.

"Dapat kasama ako?"

"Should I go with someone else then? Alexa, perhaps?"

She scowled at the mention of the name. Naaalala pa rin niya kung gaano kasama ang tingin nito sa kanya noong kasal ni Julie. Why would Cyrus want to hike with that woman? Mukha naming hindi pa ito nakakaranas na magsuot ng hiking shoes. Alexa looks like the type of woman who only wears heels and pretty dresses.

"Maybe you should have brought her here, as well, instead of me," she retorted.

He squished her cheeks and smiled. "I like it when you get jealous." Then he kissed the tip of her nose after saying that.

The blush on her cheeks was automatic. Sa dalas niyang mamula kapag kasama si Cyrus, parang hindi na bumababa mula sa mukha ang dugo niya sa katawan. Unfortunately for her, she's too transparent when jealous. That's why it's so easy for him to know when to tease her.

"She likes you," she told him.

"Uh-huh."

"So you knew?"

"Yep. She told me."

"Kelan?"

"Before," he answered. "When I came back from my 'soul-searching', Alexa asked me if we could meet, then she kind of hinted that she likes me. Naulit pa 'yon. Tapos umamin sya eventually. She told me that she can be Joanna's replacement."

"What did you do?"

"I got angry, actually. I still wasn't over Joanna at that time, and she had the nerve to tell me that. No one can replace Joanna. She has a special place here," he pointed to his chest, "that no one else can ever occupy."

Which kinda hurt, she had to admit.

"The rest of my heart is available for the taking, though," he added with a smile.

"How can you say that? Aren't you supposed to love only just one?"

"But I can't love just one. I also love my family and my friends. Lahat sila, nandito."

"Pero kung marami na sila dyan, sure ka bang may space pa para sa isa pa?"

"That's the best thing about the heart, Lena, the more you love, the larger it gets. A heart is never too full to love another person."

Tumango siya. "Kaya pala ang daming babaero."

"You're totally distorting my explanation."

She grinned sheepishly. She knew Cyrus has a big heart. Everyone in his family does. It's hard to love that kind of person, though, because the one who will love him needs to have the biggest heart, because she has to love everything and everyone he loves.

She didn't know if her heart was big enough to do that.

"You're burning a hole on my face," sabi nito maya-maya.

She blinked and looked away, realizing a little late that she was already staring. "Sorry."

She gathered the blanket up to her waist and leaned on his shoulder.

"Are you still okay with the deal?" she found herself asking. "I think it would be selfish of me to ask you to continue with it."

"What's this? Are you breaking up with me?"

Umiling siya. "I'm giving you a chance to break up with me... if you want to."

"Why would I want to?"

"Kasi..." Magulo siya. Unpredictable. Duwag. She still needs to sort her feelings out and she felt like it's unfair to make him wait until she figures it all out.

He held her hand.

"I'm exactly where I want to be, with the exact person I want to be with," he told her. "As long as you want me to be with you, I will stay."

"But that would be unfair to you."

"When's love ever fair anyway?" He removed his hand from hers then draped it on her shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What will it take for you to say yes to the real deal?"

Nagyuko siya ng ulo. Ano nga ba? Ah, right. She needs to figure out a way to know if what she feels for Cyrus isn't just a fluke. She needs to know who she really loves. Because until now, she's a still a bit conflicted. She's been in love with Martin since she was a teenager. It was hard for her to grasp the idea that someone else can just come and steal her heart in a matter of months. On the other hand, she wanted to recheck if her feelings for Martin were real, or if she was just romanticizing everything back then.

"I think... I need to tell Martin everything," she told him.

Cyrus's face went grim. "Are you sure that will help you decide?"

She shook her head. "It's the only thing I can think of. I just want to answer all my what ifs."

He thought of it for a moment. "All right," he finally said, looking like he didn't like what was concluded inside his head. "When?"

"Uhm..."

He sighed and took out his phone. "I'll just ask him."

"T-Teka! Ngayon na?"

"Let's get this over and done with, Lena. The sooner, the better."

Pero pa'no kung gusto pa rin pala niya si Martin? How can she ever face Cyrus after that? And what about Lacey? What would be of her relationship with her sister?

Kabadong-kabado siya nang marinig ang pag-ring ng phone ni Martin. She wished that he wouldn't pick up.

"Martin."

She closed her eyes.

"I was just thinking of calling you," she heard Martin say on the other end. "Free ba kayo ni Lena next weekend?"

Nagmulat siya ng mata. Cyrus was frowning.

"Why?"

"Nag-aaya si Lace na gumala. Double date daw." She heard him laugh. "Kung okay sa inyo ni Lena, sumama kayo. Sagot na namin lahat."

Cyrus glanced at her, his eyes asking an unspoken question. She nodded, hoping that they're thinking of the same thing.

"Pwede kami."

"Great! I'll tell Lacey."

"Okay."

"Bakit ka nga pala napatawag?"

"Wala. Just thinking of inviting you guys for a double date," Cyrus told him.

She heard Martin laugh. "Hey, are you at Lena's? Grabe, p're, parang hindi ka na umuuwi, a!"

"Nope. Nasa labas kami."

"Ah. Sige. Baka nakakaabala ako. Basta, next week ha."

"Yep. Okay. See you then."

He ended the call and put the phone down. Then he hugged her tightly. She didn't know what he was thinking at that moment. He wouldn't say. They laid there in silence, under the stars, both dreading what might happen next weekend.