Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping
When you look at me like that

-Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin

--

The candid photos that Lena took didn't appear until the reception. Dalawa kasi ang purpose ng mga kinuha niyang litrato: one, to tell the love story of Julie and Blake through a slideshow and two, to be added as decoration. Nakatali ang mga litrato sa mga helium balloons na nakadikit sa kisame. The reception area looks like a very large gazebo. It was painted white all over, and now decorated with violets and white roses.

Iisa ang pinapasukan ng mga bisita. Opposite that opening was the table for the bride and groom. Nakapalibot naman sa isang open space sa gitna ang mga lamesa ng mga bisita. Ang mga pagkain at giveaways naman ay nasa labas na gilid ng venue. There were no walls, only posts and fences as tall as Cyrus's waist, kaya medyo malamig.

She couldn't wear the hoodie because it would ruin the look, but thankfully, Cyrus lent her his coat. Iyon ang suot-suot niya para hindi lamigin.

Kung siya ang tatanungin, mas gusto niya ang reception kesa sa mismong kasal. Not that the wedding wasn't important, but the only thing that she enjoyed from it were the exchange of vows. Sa reception, busog ang mga mata niya sa mga dekorasyon. Marami ring nangyayari. The atmosphere was more festive.

Sa mga ganoong okasyon, masarap kumuha ng candid pictures dahil kahit saan ka tumingin, may nakakatuwang nangyayari.

And because she appointed herself as the unofficial photographer, hindi siya napirmi sa upuan niya. Paikot-ikot siya, kuha nang kuha ng kung anu-anong picture. Pati fairy lights na nakaikot sa bubong ng gazebo, hindi niya pinalampas.

Bumalik lamang siya sa upuan para kumain. Nakaupo siya sa table ng pamilya ni Cyrus habang ito naman ay nasa bandang unahan, malapit sa bride and groom. On the other side was Alexa, the maid-of-honor. Kanina pa niya pansin na panay ang tingin nito sa kanya. Hindi tuloy siya mapakali dahil dalawa na ang kanina pa nakasunod ng tingin sa kanya, ito at si Cyrus. Hindi niya mawari sa sarili kung kikiligin ba siya o maaasiwa.

Even though he wasn't beside her, she still wasn't able to eat without veggies because his family was as strict as he is when it comes to food, especially his dad. Mas nahihiya siyang magreklamo dahil ito ang naglagay ng gulay sa plato niya.

--

Matapos ng mabilisang kain ay bumalik siya sa pag-iikot para kumuha uli ng mga litrato. Everybody was game to take pictures. So much so that she had a hard time explaining to some that she was taking candid photos. Todo pose kasi ang ilan. But she took their pictures anyway.

Isa pang panira si Cyrus. Hindi niya ito makunan nang hindi nakatingin dahil palagi itong nakatingin sa kanya. Each shot she took, he was looking straight to the camera. Nakunan lang yata niya ito ng picture na hindi nakatingin nang ianunsyo ng host na magbibigay ito ng speech. That's only because he was looking at the newlyweds when he delivered his speech.

--

Sanay si Lena na maging taga-obserba. Walang kaso sa kanya kung nasa isang sulok lamang siya at hindi kasali sa kung anuman ang nangyayari. She wasn't used to being in the spotlight. But that night, she became the center of attention.

It happened when Julie and Blake were about to leave for their honeymoon. Nananahimik siya sa isang sulok nang tawagin ng host ang mga dalaga sa gitna para sumalo ng bouquet. She remembered Cyrus telling her that she'll be catching the bouquet, she just didn't know at that time that he was serious about it.

Nanatili siya sa isang tabi, nakapanuod habang nag-aabang sa pagsalo ang mga dalaga sa gitna. Nang isasalo na ni Julie ang pinigilan ito ni Cyrus. With all the attention focused on him, he walked towards her and pulled her to the center.

"Ayoko..." sabi niya rito.

"Dalaga ka, di ba?" Sa unahan pa siya nito pinapwesto. Then he told his cousin, loudly and clearly, to toss the bouquet in her direction. That earned him cheers from his and Blake's relatives.

"Pa'no ba 'yan! Mukhang may susunod nang ikakasal! Apo ko ulit!" buong pagmamalaking anunsyo ng Lolo Kent nito.

Nobody even paid attention to her discomfort. It's not like she didn't like the thrill it's giving her. She wanted to catch the bouquet for him. It's just her personality to feel uncomfortable in that kind of situation. But the anticipation was short lived because Julie tossed the bouquet right away. And she did catch it.

When she looked at Cyrus, he was grinning from ear to ear, looking proud and impressed.

Julie gave her a hug before exiting the venue. The other girls sat down after that. Siya naman ay hindi alam ang gagawin. Gusto na niyang maupo para sa iba na matuon ang atensyon ng mga tao pero pinanatili siya sa gitna.

Someone put a chair in the middle and asked her to sit. Huling beses yatang ganito katutok ang atensyon sa kanya ay noong ni-require silang mag-speech sa klase noong high school. Pinagalitan siya ng teacher niya noon dahil napakahina ng boses niya at hindi siya tumitingin sa mga kaklase. She cried after the class and never allowed herself to be put in the spotlight again.

But that night, it was somehow different because people were smiling at her. Para bang masayang-masaya ang mga ito para sa kanya.

Nilapitan siya ni Cyrus. He took the garter out of his pocket. He got it from earlier, when Blake took the garter off of Julie's leg and tossed it to the groomsmen. He knelt on one knee and removed her left shoe. Then ever so slowly, he slid the garter up her leg.

She blushed profusely as his hand reached her thigh, and turned redder when he winked. This guy might give her a heart attack someday.

Cyrus stood up and offered his hand. When she took it, he pulled her up. Someone started chanting 'Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!'. Parang sasabog ang puso niya sa sobrang kaba. She knew he was going to kiss her in front of everybody. She knew it when he took the bouquet from her trembling hands, raised it up and made the people around them cheer louder. And she wasn't disappointed. Because that's what he did next.

She stopped herself from fainting. It would just double the embarrassment.

--

Well, the good news is, she survived that. Sa wakas ay natuon din sa iba ang atensyon ng mga tao. But Cyrus, he never left her side after that.

Habang itinutuloy ng mga bisita ang party sa loob, siya naman ay inaya nito sa labas, to the beach, away from the noisy crowd. While the others were dancing hard to a party song, he pretended like it was a love song and slow danced with her.

Nakatitig ito sa kanya habang siya naman ay nakatingin sa collar ng damit nito, the camera dangling on her neck the only thing between them. Hindi niya ito matingnan nang diretso. Pakiramdam niya ay sasabog siya. Yes, in many ways, he was like the sun, bright and blinding.

"Lena, I know you told me not to ask again, but... I just had to," he told her.

"D-Don't!"

"Why not? Is it still a no?"

She shook her head.

"Then it's a yes."

Muli siyang umiling.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know," she admitted. Yumakap siya rito. "I'm sorry."

Gusto muna niyang makasigurado. She wanted to know if her feelings are there to stay. The conversation she had with her mother made her reevaluate her feelings for Martin. Was she really in love with him or was she just fixated?

She needs to know first, because Cyrus does not deserve a half-assed love and an unsure heart.