Mercy by Shawn Mendes just reminded me how much I love him. Someone help me, this song is on repeat and I don't want it to be overplayed. And he's in my hometown tonight so I feel happy and sad at the same time.

Dedicated to grizzle_08 for the cover at the top and the one underneath this. I love them, thank you so much : )

This chapter is long.

Chapter Thirty Three: "Oh My Gosh."

MONDAY MORNING I stood at my locker, my head leaning against it. I felt like banging my head repeatedly against it over and over again to wake myself up. I had to finish a really hectic essay and a book in English that made me get two hours of sleep.

Also, I had to videotape my pre-screening dance as an addition to my Julliard audition that I was finishing up.

Great.

"You alright there?" A voice asked me.

I turned my head to the side only to find Isaac's eyes on me, looking amused at the sight in front of him. I opened my mouth to speak but a huge yawn came out that I quickly covered with my hand, opening my locker.

"I'm filled with elation today." I said dryly, shoving my dance bag inside and taking my water bottle out.

"You're coming to practice today right?" he asked me, his brown eyes looking bigger from this angle.

I took a sip of the water before nodding, grabbing my backpack from the ground and slinging it over my shoulders. "Yeah."

"How was your weekend?" What's with all the questions I'm clearly not up to answer?

"Great." I quipped because it actually was. Although I had only gotten to see Lucas on Saturday and everything that happened had happened, Sunday we barely got off the phone and I didn't even move from my bed that day and neither did he from his. I was trying to watch movies on my laptop and I was pretty sure he spent that entire day playing video games.

Because Isaac was standing there, looking at me weirdly I opened my mouth to ask the same question distinctively, even though I didn't want to. "How was yours?"

"Good," he answered, shoving his hands into the school uniform pants pocket. "Why weren't you at the party on Saturday?"

Party? Yeah, because I-a socially awkward person could get invited into a party where I clearly should've been. Right.

"I had a wedding."

"I know," Then why the hell did he ask the damn question? I thought, hearing him continue. "I saw Kim's Instagram post. Nice dress by the way."

The picture was probably good because of Macy's camera. "Thanks." I said, closing my locker to see someone walking towards us over Isacc's shoulder.

A smile came onto my face especially seeing the coffee in his hands. I instantly grabbed it, taking a long well deserved sip that made Lucas give me a look. I held the cup to my chest, looking up at Lucas. "Thank you."

"Who said it was for you in the first place?" he asked, but the smile on his face let me know it was for me.

Lucas's eyes trailed over to Isaac who was leaning against the locker next to mine with crossed arms. Oh God. Lucas looked at Isaac and he was chewing on the (probably Juicy Fruit) gum in his mouth. "Isaac... right?"

"Yeah. Lucas right?"

Then Lucas did something I didn't expect from him. He looked at Isaac with this certain look in his eyes, still chewing on his piece of gum before he blew a bubble with it, popping it before nodding slowly.

Now, the only place I had ever seen that happen was probably in a stupid drama where the queen bee or bad boy would pop their gum to show that they didn't care. But Lucas? That was unexpected.

I almost laughed at that, taking off my backpack to pull my sweater off. I looked at Lucas, not knowing whether I should take his hand or not. "Can you give me a ride home today?"

"Yeah, of course. Is your mum working late tonight?" He asked me.

"Yeah. That and I really don't want to take the bus." I admitted, putting my sweater in my backpack before slinging it on my shoulders once again.

Lucas smiled again almost looking like he was about to laugh. I realized that Isaac was still there. "When are you coming over next?"

"Um...Wednesday I think. I need to go over that routine with Phillip for his competition thing on the weekend. Why?"

"Because he wants to see you."

"He wants to see me or do you want to see me?"

Lucas shrugged. "Both. I mean, he wants to see you but as your boyfriend I figured I'd want to see you too. Especially outside of school."

Boyfriend? I thought with wide eyes.

Lucas and I had never discussed this and I'm guessing that been implied but it's not like he asked me. But that one word sent my heart into frenzy and I had to take a really deep breath at what he had just said. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

Oh shit, someone stop me before I go even crazier over this guy.

Clearly I wasn't the only one in shock of what he had just said.

"Boyfriend?" Isaac asked, staring at Lucas with disbelief.

I glanced at Lucas, trying to take the shock away from my face at the new news. "Yeah, um, boyfriend."

Isaac who clearly looked bothered by that information looked like he was playing it off, shrugging his shoulders and running a hand through his blond hair. "I'll see you at practice Sydney."

"Yeah." I said as he walked away and I turned to Lucas, hitting him on the chest lightly. "Boyfriend?"

That's when the Lucas I knew well enough came out and his cheeks were tinted pink, looking a little embarrassed. "Um...was that too soon?"

"No," I said, laughing. "I just wasn't consulted."

"Oh, did you want some big gesture?" he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking at me shamefacedly. "Do you want me to get down on my knees and ask you for your hand in this relationship?"

"Yes." I pulled on a serious face and Lucas' lips parted in surprise.

"I was kidding."

"I'm not."

"What's going on?" Mary Anne asked with Eduardo who had an arm around her.

"Lucas is about to propose." I laughed, looking back to him. Not only his cheeks have turned pink but also the tips of his ears, making me laugh even harder.

Eduardo looked at Lucas like he was crazy. "You realize you're still in high school right? How about you wait until grad, man."

"Not for marriage, for me to be his girlfriend." I said, smiling like an idiot as I turned back to Lucas whose eyes were wide.

"Really?" I nodded and he sighed, looking around the hallway where students were passing through. He got down on one knee, taking my hand in his and I could hear Mary Anne's 'aw' through my laughter. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"You and me both man." Eduardo said laughing and taking his phone out to record but Mary Anne took his phone away before he could tap the screen.

Lucas took the coffee cup from my hand, holding it out towards me while taking my other hand in his. "Sydney, will you be my girlfriend?"

"What was that?" Jane came out of nowhere and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"What?" Lucas asked and I caught a few people stopping to stare at Lucas on his knees in front of me.

"That was so stupid. Do it again. Wait, why are you on the ground asking her the question in the first place? What the hell?" Jane scolded him.

By now Mary Anne was leaning against Eduardo, laughing like crazy and I was doing the same trying to hold myself up against the locker.

Lucas glared at her and I squeezed his hands making him turn back to me. He sighed, taking a deep breath before pulling on a fake smile for our friends. "Sydney, would you-"

"What the hell is going on here?" I could hear Zen ask behind us and for some reason I was laughing even more than I was previously.

Mary Anne was trying to hold herself up against Eduardo who looked like he was getting annoyed at the situation. Jane was explaining it to Zen when Lucas looked up at me from the ground, his brown eyes reminding me of a puppy. "Would you-"

I pulled him up by the hand quickly, grabbing the coffee to take a well deserved sip before handing it back to him. "Yes. I'll be your girlfriend. You don't have to do this anymore. I can't take it."

"Good-stop laughing." He told me, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry." I said, leaning my head against my locker, letting out uncontrollable laughs as the people in the hallway started to dissipate from the scene.

"I was going to ask you outside of school, preferably not in a school hallway."

"Oh yeah? What did you have planned?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

He fixed the beanie on his head, looking conflicted. "Okay, so I didn't have anything planned at the moment but I swear I was going to talk to Devin or Jane to tonight to figure something out-"

I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his waist. I could feel Lucas suck in a an sharp breath, hesitantly hugging me back. "This-this is a great way to shut me up sometimes you know? For future reference."

I looked up at him, trying not to look at his lips. "I'll keep that in mind."

Over Lucas' shoulder, I see Sarah walk over and her eyes widened at the sight. "No way."

"Way." Eduardo said as she stood next to them staring at Lucas and I. Lucas averted his eyes, pretending to clean his glasses even though I knew he was uncomfortable with many people staring at him.

"This is what happens when you have a Samsung, no group chats." I heard Mary Anne argue with Sarah and that started a very heated argument over the two devices as I kept my eyes on Lucas. He put his glasses back on his face, blinking a couple of times before focusing on me.

He flashed me a small smile, the dimples in his cheeks indenting without him even trying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I huffed, feeling the tension in my shoulders as I made my way up into the art room. I almost bumped into a couple of people that were coming out of the art room and one of the girls that had a streak of blue paint in one part of her hair looked at me. "Hey you're Sydney right?"

"Uh, yeah I am." I said, rubbing my hands together.

"I heard you're dating Lucas." The second she said that I could tell most of her friends that had come out of the art room with her were all listening eagerly, wanting to know.

I was probably staring at her weirdly, my lips parted on whether to answer the question or not when Jane came out of the room, practically pushing all of them. "Oh my gosh, leave the school all of you. If Sydney doesn't want to answer your questions then she doesn't need to, jheeze."

The girl rolled her eyes at Jane before she and the rest of them walked down the stairs I had just gone down.

Jane eyed the other girl with narrowed eyes. "The people in this school always wants to hear about certain things like this is fucking TMZ. She's actually such a bitch."

Sure people were pretty nosey at this school and according to Mary Anne some kid actually started some account dedicated to drama at this school-and there was a lot but I wouldn't call the girl a bitch just because she asked a question. I looked at Jane even more, noticing the way her eyes lingered on the stairs and her expression shift.

I couldn't help but smile, swinging my duffle bag behind my shoulder and crossing my arms. "Oh my gosh."

Jane turned her eyes onto me, knitting her eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

"You like her."

Jane scoffed and because she was Jane and I noticed she does this whenever she got really defensive about something, she became dramatic, hand movements and all. Her brown eyes even got wide. "What? No. Why would I like her? I don't like her. What kind of accusation is that Sydney? Get your facts straight. I have taste and that is not the type of girl I am into."

She let out a long breath after that, pushing her dark brown hair back. I just stood there, nodding as if I was actually believing her because trust me I wasn't. "So..." I trailed off, probably looking smug at the moment.

Jane groaned, leaning her head back before biting her lip, eyes on the ground. I heard her mumble something.

"What?" I mocked, leaning down to hear her say something.

"Okay fine I do." Jane muttered, crossing her arms and pouting like a child.

"Thought so."

"Shut up," Jane mumbled, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "She's probably not even into girls anyway. I'll see you tomorrow Sydney."

Jane brushed past me and I frowned, not liking the disappointment that was practically radiating from her face. I entered the art room, finding it empty and Lucas in the back corner of the room like he usually was, painting on an easel.

I watched him; his earphones were in his ears so he probably didn't even notice I had entered the room. His glasses weren't on his face, they were on the table and he was so concentrated on what he was painting. He furrowed his eyebrows, biting his lip as he leaned back to look at it, eyes darting around the easel.

I dropped my bag near the door walking over to him. I looked at the painting, raising myself on my tiptoes to see what he was doing.

His fingers were twisting the ring on the opposite hand, his eyes not leaving the painting even once. I looked at the painting and noticed that it was-

"A turtle." Lucas said, sounding like one of those old professors in the movies.

"A turtle." I deadpanned, wanting to reach out and touch the detail of the shell, of the turtle itself, of the background that was a blur from the green of the turtle to a dark indigo on the outsides.

"We had to draw or paint an animal. I chose my spirit animal."

"You're sprit animal is a turtle." I deadpanned again and Lucas laughed, standing beside me as we observed the painting.

He tilted his head at it and I did the same, wondering what he was truly seeing in his 'sprit animal'. "Yeah. C'mon, help me finish it because I take you home."

"Ha, how about no?"

"C'mon Canada girl." He tugged me forward, grabbing a paint brush and putting it in my hand.

"No, no, no." I told him, handing the paintbrush back to him.

"Why not?"

I stared at him. "My drawings are like stick figures compared to anything you draw. You could draw the world's ugliest frog and it will still turn out beautiful. Lucas you're an amazing artist."

"So are you." He said quietly, looking up at me with his soft, heartwarming eyes.

"How?"I couldn't draw for shit.

"Because you are a dancer. Dancing is an art. And you are an amazing dancer."

Lucas turned me back to look at the turtle painting, standing right behind me. He put his hand over mine, putting the paintbrush in my own hand and guiding it with his own. "Is, uh, is this okay?" he asked slowly, bringing his other hand to my waist.

I nodded quickly, taking a deep breath and trying not to be weird around him.

I don't even know if this boy understands the impact of his words on me because at the moment I wasn't sure if I was breathing or if I was actually in this room with him behind me, painting away like this was completely normal.

"So um..." I trailed off.

"Yeah?" He asked, distracted in the movement of the thin brush before he dipped it in a different green.

"I noticed Jane has a little-"

"Crush? Took a liking to that girl that just left the classroom? Yeah I know. She won't shut up about her. It's interesting honestly whenever Jane likes someone."

"What do you mean?" I urged him explain and I could feel him tense but relax when I felt his chin rest on the back of my head, his head probably tilted up above my thick ponytail.

"Well, usually she would talk about the person all the time whether it was in a negative way or a positive way, the person would always come up in a conversation. Then whenever Devin and I would ask her about it, she would deny it. She always will. Then there will come a time where she starts to be open about it and say stuff like they're attractive and then..."

"And then what?"

"She has doubts like the person wouldn't even be into her and stuff and she makes her feelings go away by avoiding them. I honestly hate it when that happens because those are probably the days where Jane's upset."

I frowned. "That sucks."

"Yeah," Lucas sighed. "I kind of just want her happy. Sure we're only in high school and we have our whole lives and stuff but still. It would be great to see Jane go mushy over someone completely who likes her back and I could bother her the same way that she bothers me over you."

"Jane's great." I said, watching Lucas as he changed the brush to a bigger one, dipping it into the royal blue.

"She is," Lucas said, his head finding its way on my shoulder and I could feel his breath by my ear making me still. "So, how was the dance?"

I let out a breath watching him motion our hands to the top of the painting. "It was interesting. Mrs. Yousiff made everyone watch but I think I did okay considering she didn't say anything negative."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing. She took the camera and went to her office so for her to do that is actually a positive sign." I said, involuntarily leaning back into his body, the back of my head against his shoulder.

"What else is going on?" Lucas asked softly into my ear and I resisted the urge to shiver.

"My application is due in a couple of days. I have my letters of recommendation from Mr. Stiles and Mrs. Yousiff. I didn't have to send in a video seeing as I live in Canada but it was optional and really want to go in. I think what's bothering me right now is whether I get in or not."

"I hope you do." Lucas said, putting the brush down.

I turned around in his arms, kind of struggling to make eye contact with him. "Same here."

I think Lucas was doing the same because he laughed nervously a little bit. "Um, Sydney can I tell you something?" I nodded. "I have to admit this is kind of weird for me."

"I agree," I told him. "I've never had a boyfriend before."

Lucas sighed. "I should've waited before I asked you. Still kind of new at this."

"No, no, it's okay. I'm glad you did. But if you get a phone call from Octavia tonight don't be surprised."

"Is she going to threaten me?" He asked, looking fully nervous now and I bit back a smile.

"Maybe just a little bit."

"Should I be worried?"

"Well if something happens and Octavia comes all the way from LA back here then possibly."

"I love how you say that with a smile that scares the crap out of me." He said and let out a breathy laugh at that.

"Want to finish the painting before we go?" I suggested trying to look away from that look he was giving me with those intense eyes of his. I was about to turn around when Lucas other hand found its way on my waist.

"No, not just-not just yet. I think I can finish it tomorrow." He said quietly, a hand on my chin to tilt my face to meet his.

When Lucas Franklin Cahill kissed me I think all the breath knocked out of my body.

It was that impacting. It wasn't anything like movies where characters kissed and suddenly fireworks appeared behind them or someone came in to ruin the moment. No one came in but although I could use the word fireworks to describe his lips against mine- I felt like that was an understatement.

That's all there was, lips against lips but there was also the intense feeling and the need to be closer to him came to my mind I felt like swearing at myself to have more control.

It was only a couple of seconds and I could feel that much. When Lucas pulled back he was blinking frantically, cursing under his breath. "Shit, I-Sydney I didn't mean to-"

He was cut off when I actually did go against the control and pressed my lips against his again, my eyes falling shut accordingly. I held his face in my hands as he pulled me closer and our lips moved against one another. It wasn't the perfect kiss, far from it, considering both of our inexperience in that field but it felt like it.

I pulled away first, opening my eyes to see that Lucas' were closed but looked like he wanted to open them. I stared at him, a finger to my lips as I waited for his eyes to open. "Lucas?"

"Forget what I said about the hug. This is a great way to shut me up, so much better." He all but whispered and I stared at him with his eyes still closed, his lips pink and his cheeks flushed because of what happened.

"I don't want to open my eyes. I feel like this is a dream and not actually reality. You are real right?" I stifled my laughter, watching as he slowly opened his eyes, his face flushed. "Yup, this is reality."

"It is." I said, getting his glasses from his desk and putting them on his face, over his eyes. I reached down to pick up the beanie that had fallen off his head in the midst of our kissing, putting it on his head.

Lucas eyes darted down to the ground as he ran his hand over the edge of the table. "I'm an idiot aren't I?"

"I know Jane, Devin and I have called you that once-okay many times but I wouldn't say you're an actual idiot."

Lucas cracked a smile. "No, I mean I didn't only ask you out without taking you on at least one date. I've never had a girlfriend before and-"

"I honestly find that hard to believe." I couldn't help but blurt out because it's all I had been thinking of since he admitted that to me over the phone yesterday. Sure, he was a Cahill and sure he came from a wealthy family as well but even I have seen the attention Lucas can grab by just walking down a hallway and being himself. He was oblivious to it all.

Lucas snorted and he didn't even turn red at that because of how unbelievable he thought my opinion was. "Trust me. I think you understand how awkward and unsocial I actually am. I only had two people I could call friends here before I met you Sydney."

"Yeah but you never really gave others a chance to get to know you. I'm surprised you even let me get to know you and learn how complicated you can actually be."

"Complicated." Lucas repeated staring at me.

"Yeah. But you act reserved to everyone else and have this aura like you don't want to be bothered. You were open with me. You should be a little more open with other people if you could give them a chance to really know you."

"I'll do that the second you stop being so awkward and nervous around people."

"What?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow and I was mentally screaming at how he was able to honestly do that. I swear almost everyone around me can do that. "I think you were only comfortable around Eduardo, Mary Anne and the rest of your friends because they reminded you more of your old friends than anyone else at this school does."

I shrugged. "So?"

"The only reason you're kind comfortable around Phillip and my family is because they talked to you more and even though you were a bit awkward around them in the beginning they probably reminded you a bit of people in your hometown anyway, am I right?"

"I'm not comfortable around Joey." I mumbled.

The corner of Lucas' tugged up into a smirk that looked very attractive on his face. "I can tell but you have confidence whenever you speak to him because the awkwardness goes away the second you get angry or ticked off when seeing him. The same goes for Lydia."

I blinked. "Someone's attentive."

Lucas licked his lips, avoiding my eyes for a second. "You can say that. And then there's me, where you got nervous every time you saw me or spoke to me-"

"It was mutual for you." I tried to defend myself but he kept talking.

"And then you because comfortable around me and I figured this girl and I could be friends. And guess what? Oh yeah, you got open with me-"

"Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I'll start being less awkward even though that's not possible for me and you start being less reserved with everyone."

"Fine. On the other hand though it's confirmed: I'm an idiot. I literally just kissed you without warning."

"You're not an idiot." I told him, grabbing his hand with the ring on it and twisting it. "You're Turtle." I said, gesturing to the painting behind me.

Lucas scoffed, reaching over to grab his backpack and slung it over his shoulders. "Let's get you home."

"I know you're a turtle and everything but don't drive slow." I cracked a smile at my lame attempt of a joke.

Lucas rolled his eyes, grabbing my backpack and holding it as we walked down the stairs. "You're funny."

"I know I am, how long did it take you to realize?"

"I want to pick a new spirit animal." Lucas declared, huffing as I jumped off of the third step, feeling the slight tension from dancing today on my body.

"You already picked a turtle."

"At this rate I won't drive you home Canada girl."

"Yes you will." I grinned at him as he took my hand without hesitation this time as we made our way through the school. And I liked this. Him. And the thought of us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He kissed you." Wesley repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Yes Wesley, he kissed me." I said quietly trying to restrain my excitement.

"He kissed you." Michelle said on the other side of Wesley. They were both sitting on Wesley's bed, staring at me like they couldn't believe what I had just said.

"Wait, wait, wait," Wesley said, running a hand through his hair and rubbing his eyes as if he was seeing weirdly. "The same guy we've been talking about for about three months, Lucas Cahill, told you on Saturday that he liked you. Then today, take in that this is a Monday right? Today, a Monday, he asked you out before he was actually planning on doing so-"

"I think he said the boyfriend thing and had to ask you after only because he was jealous that Isaac was still there." Michelle said.

Wesley nodded slowly. "Yeah that's probably why. But anyway, he asked you out and then on the same day in an empty room he kissed you?"

"Yes." I said, wondering what was possibly going through the brains of my best friend and my cousin.

"Is this the same guy? Did you mix up the twins?" Wesley asked me as if it really was disbelieving.

"I know the difference between Lucas and his brother."

Wesley stared at me even harder and his lips parted in a weird way. "You sure?"

"I'm sure, you dumbass," I said.

"It's just the Lucas you describe and tell me about is usually so different rather than...what's the word?"

"Impulsive," Michelle said and started getting up. "I'm need to go home. I'll talk to you tomorrow Sydney, tell me more about your boyfriend later. We need to catch up."

When she left Wesley was still staring at me through the screen like this was the most unbelieving thing in the world before he relaxed and leaned in. "Was there tongue?"

I rolled my eyes. "No."

Wesley shrugged. "In due time," A sneaky grin made its way onto his face as he waged a finger at me. "My best friend's got a boyfriend. My best friend's got a boyfriend."

I scrunched my nose up trying to hide my face into my pillow at his horrible singing. "Stop." I whined.

"Why? Look at you. All grown up and here I am thinking that she's still a kid but no, she's got her first boyfriend and she's got her first kiss today. Wait, no didn't you get your first kiss from Timothy when you guys were like ten?"

I let out a laugh at the memory. Timothy, my old dance partner and I had to do a duet that involved romance and a small kiss on the lips. It was so weird I felt like I was kissing a nonexistent brother even if it lasted a second. "That was a peck, it definitely did not count."

"Got it." He said, before leaning back. "So even though there was no tongue or anything...was he good?"

"Wesley I am not discussing kissing with you." I almost whispered thinking that my mom could be possibly hearing outside the door.

"If you're not going to tell me, who else are you going to tell? Your diary?"

"I haven't had a diary since like grade two."

"Didn't you used to have like some type of afro in grade two?"

I shivered. "I'm never doing that ever again. Thank God I stopped that in grade three."

Wesley laughed. "It was cute."

"I looked weird. Like my hair wasn't even as nappy. It was really, really curly and thick back then-I'm going to stop before I start ranting."

Wesley ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I know for a fact that I definitely do not miss it when you rant."

"Shut up you dick." I said laughing.

"But only Lucas likes it when you rant. He likes it a lot. He probably hangs onto your every word." Wesley teased and I hid my face behind a pillow again, making my best friend laugh once more.

"No but seriously if Lucas even messes with you, Octavia and I are coming down there and beating his ass."

"You've been talking to Octavia way too much."

"Oct is awesome. I totally understand why you guys are friends. She's like me just more out there. I mean she's acting in Hollywood for God's sakes. She's probably buying shit in Rodeo Drive or cruising through the 90210."

"You've been watching the show again, haven't you?"

The thing with Wes and I was we were both kind of addicted to the screen. But while I was terribly into movies, he was into TV shows. Any kind like I was in movies; drama, mystery, you can name it he's probably watched it. Even shows from different countries and weren't in his language. He-the Vietnamese- made me one time at school- the half Filipino- watch a Filipino drama with him and I've never seen him so excited about something before.

90210 was a show Wesley loved that based in Beverly Hills.

"Of course I have. I'm having a marathon again on Saturday."

"Thought so." I said lying on my stomach and hugging my pillow.

Wesley coughed awkwardly which made me wary because there was nothing awkward that Wesley could ever tell me. "What?" I asked him.

"Your dad's back. I saw his car at your old house and Michelle told me he came over to talk to her mom earlier today."

I looked down at my purple comforter before pulling up a struggling smile. "Didn't even say bye."

"I'm sure he had a proper intention."

My eyes drifted to Wesley. "What was the intention for cheating on my mom? What was the actual reason? If their marriage was failing, why couldn't he have talked to her about filing for a divorce if he was unhappy? Why did he have to go through a circumstance where you're hurting a person even more?"

Wesley stared at me wide eyed and I sighed, rubbing my cheeks with my hands. "I'm sorry. I feel like reality that my mom and dad are actually getting divorced is suddenly crashing upon me than it should have months ago."

The look Wesley had made me think he was the one in pain or something. "I really wish I could give you a really big hug right now Sid."

"I miss you Wes."

"I miss you too," I could hear my mom call for me through my bedroom door and I think Wesley heard it too because he continued talking. "Don't beat yourself up over this. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

We exchanged byes and I shut my laptop after that, placing it on the table. My eyes caught a photo, lying face down on my table. I'm not even sure if I remember taking it out but considering I could see the words April, 2001 written in permanent marker on the back.

I could hear my mom calling for me again but I ignored her voice knowing I was probably going to get yelled at in Spanish but grabbed the photo anyway, turning it around. I stared at the picture of me as a four year old wearing a plastic tiara on my fourth birthday. I was in the arms of my dad, cake all over my mouth and looking down at my cousin, Michelle and not even at whoever was taking the picture. Dad had an arm around my mom too as they smiled at the picture.

They looked happy that day almost fourteen years ago.

I sniffed, not even knowing that a tear was running down my face as I put the photo away. So many changes happened in the past few months.

But change happens for a reason, right?