(Dominic's POV, August 22, 2015)

The light coming from the chandelier gives the room a warm homey feeling, but for me this isn't my home, this is just another house. In this house, my almost perfect family of three is quietly having our dinner. 'Almost' being the operative word, because I'm only faking perfection. You know what they say: some people are real, some people are good, some are even fake but for me some people are just real good at being fake.

I tune out my parents conversation about the successful case my father won for the law firm. I mentally sigh and stand up so I can finally go finish the game I was playing on my Xbox.

"Leaving so soon dear? We haven't even talked about you yet," my mom says in her sickly-sweet voice.

"Sit back down, son, I need to talk to you too," my father adds with his perfectly white smile.

It's not like I have a choice, have I? It's always like this anyway. They say something, I listen, they command, I obey, they see something they don't like about me, they terminate the problem right there and then. I always tell myself to speak up, to do something, to finally get a backbone, but I can't, something bad always happens when I do.

"What about, dad?" I say sitting back down.

"About the law firm. You're in your 2nd year of law school and I want you to start interning there for experience," he replies. We aren't beating around the bush, are we dad?

As the only child, my father wanted me to continue the family legacy and become a lawyer like him at "Stevenson & Stephens" a company he co-owns with his best friend and my godfather, Benjamin Stephens. My dad, Damien met uncle Benji in high school, and from what I've heard, they were the school's dynamic duo. People said that they wouldn't go far with their dreams but look at them now, living the dream.

Unlike my dad with only one son, uncle Benji has three kids who are older than me, one of them could have followed in his footsteps for the company but they didn't. It's because they pursued their own careers, he encouraged his kids to pursue something different other than law. "Don't follow your dreams, chase them instead," he always said and he let his children follow that philosophy. Lucky them.

"Okay dad, I understand, but I'm only in my 2nd year. Won't people treat me differently?"

"They won't treat you differently son I assure you, and if they do you can always tell me," he replies.

"Thank you dad, I appreciate it," I say with fake enthusiasm. "But if they, in theory, treat me differently, I would rather prove them wrong instead of being a snitch to my old man."

"That's my boy!" he exclaims. I can finally make him proud again.

"If that's all, can I be excused now?"

Sweet freedom here I come! I don't have the strength to deal with this anymore; I hope I can get to my room without getting interrupte-.

"Not just yet young man, aren't you going to talk to your favorite mom?" my mother interrupts. Spoke too soon.

"You're my only mom," I say amused. I may have been wrong about going back to my room early, but at least I can talk to my mom casually unlike my daddy.

"But you might be secretly adopted and we found you with wolves," she suddenly gasps "Maybe you're a werewolf!"

Some of my friends tell me they always suffer from dad jokes, I suffer from mom jokes instead. I can't blame her though, my mother Angela owns the company "Dawn Designs" an interior design studio.

As an interior designer with lots of rich people clients, she absolutely needs to be friendly and perky. She might not wear those fancy dresses much but she has a smile that can make even the snobbiest bitch tremble because she believes that a smile is the prettiest thing you can wear.

"Mom, your friends say 'you have your mother's eyes' all the time like some kind of Harry Potter reference and if I were a werewolf, I would have already found my mate at 18," I add. Although I did find somebody at 18.

"And what beautiful eyes they are. I just hope you'd stop playing all those video games, your eyesight might get worse," she scolds.

"Okay, okay whatever you say my 'favorite mom'," I joke.

Now that I think about it, this conversation has been going on for some time. She's probably gonna bring it up in...

Three...

Two...

One...

"Speaking of 'your mother's friends', my friend Dahlia has a single daughter who will be perfect for you," she says nonchalantly.

"Mom, we've talked about this," I reply. I knew there was something fishy about this from the moment she arranged this family dinner.

"I know, I know, but she's perfect for you. She's a beautiful young woman who wants to become a psychologist someday," she exclaims in delight.

"Your mother is right, Dominic, you haven't had a girlfriend since... forever. Maybe it's high time you get one. Who knows, she might be our future daughter-in-law," my father continues.

"Plus, she might be the girl to make you forget about that phase you had," she murmurs.

"I guess you're right, I think it's about time I forget about that phase in my life," I agreed. That was never a phase.

"My son is finally becoming a man. I'm so proud!" my father exclaims.

"Can I be excused now? I need to finish up reviewing for the new semester," I lie.

They don't hear my question as my parents continue the conversation about me and the supposedly "perfect girl". They are already scheduling me meeting her for a date, I don't have any say in this so I silently get out from my chair and retreat back to my bedroom.

"It was never a phase..." I confess to no one.

I lay down on my bed not having the will to play Xbox games and take out my phone from charging and open up my tumblr app, I scroll down and find my favorite artist Aspen and look at his artwork. Seeing his sexy drawings and kinky illustrations of male anime sex makes me immediately swell in my pants.

Getting some tissues on the night stand, I strip down begin to touch myself. I scroll through his feed and find my favorite drawing, two teenage boys still in their uniforms, looking at each other with pure love and adoration in their eyes.

It wasn't about the position they were in, the place where they are doing it or the fact they aren't completely undressed that makes me hard. It was the way they are staring at each other. I really wish I had that. Well, I did once, but that will never return to me after what I did.

I continue to stroke myself and begin speeding up my movements as I imagine myself being made love to, the same way as in the drawing.

"What if your parents come home, Dom?" he questions.

"They won't, Dillon," I promise.

I close the gap between us and unbutton his school uniform while he fumbles with my belt. He strips me in desperation and the buttons of my shirt come flying off.

"Please, I need you right now," I say desperately.

"Your wish is my command, young Master," he teases.

A shiver is sent down my spine as I explode, seed on my hands as the image, no, memory comes to an end. Love was made that night and pleasure was felt by two young men for the first time, but that would also be the last time.

"Damn it," I mutter.

I should have stopped myself from looking at the pictures in the first place but I can't stop what's going on because this isn't a phase. I was born this way no matter how messy this situation is.

I shake my head, clean up the remnants of my little "session" using the tissues and go to the bathroom to take a shower. Hot water cascades down my body while I clean away the sweat and stickiness from my body. Everytime I enter this place I can't stop these shower thoughts I get. They can be pleasant and life changing or dark and depressing, this time it's the latter.

Guilt has been plaguing me for the last six years now, but no amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. I tried doing everything to make up for what happened, did everything I was supposed to but I supposed nothing can rid me of my sins.You can wash away the dirt but you can never wash away the guilt.

Leaving the shower and toweling myself dry, I put on a new pair of boxers. I jump face down on my bed and hug my pillow close for comfort as I once again remember that night.

Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson returning home early from a business trip didn't normally happen, their son sleeping blissfully with his classmate in his arms, didn't normally happen either, but that night both things occurred anyway.

Dillon wasn't supposed to get thrown out of my house and leave in the middle of the night. He wasn't supposed to worry about a secret relationship. He wasn't supposed to get distracted by all my texts and not notice the truck barreling towards him.

I repeat the words I have been telling myself for six years now. It was never your fault Dominic, get over it and stay on routine. Blocking my guilt, I imagine a perfect future with the girl my mom mentioned.

A beautiful home with two kids, a boy and a girl, playing in the yard, the parents smile joyfully as they take pictures of their kids. The father calls them to the front porch as he sets the camera on a timer. The camera catches the four of them smiling lovingly, content at the family and life they have.

As the father of the family views the camera, he sees three faceless people and a man smiling fakely into the camera. It's not him, that's not the life he wanted for himself. The man is already in too deep and can't just back out of his life, he already has responsibilities he needs to face and a dull life he needs to live.

"That's not what I want," I whisper.

I erase the dull life I initially imagined and replace it with a brighter more colorful one, as colorful as a rainbow or the bright blue eyes of my new imaginary lover. I see myself looking into those beautiful eyes and I smile to myself thinking 'how could I get so lucky'.

"It's not luck Dom, it's fate," he chuckles.

"Did I say that out loud?" I groan. My imagination and I'm still awkward as hell.

"Yes, you did," he says with a grin.

"What's your name?" I suddenly blurt out of nowhere.

"Aww, did my eyes mesmerize you so much you forgot my name?" he coos, "Actually, I'm nameless. You see Dominic, you're not here yet, you still need to take the journey that will lead you here."

"But how?" I ask

"That's not my call, it's yours, you decide your own destiny."

I open my eyes and think about what "nameless" said. I decide my own destiny. Remembering the two scenarios' I created, I wonder which one is going to be the real one. My parents probably think it's the first one, but I hope that it's the second one.

"It's going to be the first one anyway," I say bitterly.

I forget everything and close my eyes once again as I drift off to a dreamless sleep.

***

I wake up excited, not because of last night's events but because it's my last day here before school starts. I can finally go back to my dorm and play video games and jack-off in peace, well mostly in peace. I shower and brush my teeth quickly before I go down to join my parents for breakfast.

"Mom! Dad!" I call out.

I enter the kitchen and I spot a note on the kitchen fridge.

Me and your daddy are going to a hotel to make you a little brother...Joke!

Your dad had an angry client show up at the office in the last minute, so I had to drive him because he might run over somebody if he drove to his office fuming.

I'm also about to meet Dahlia for our girl's morning out with the squad... isn't that exciting?

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely morning, son.

Love

Mom.

Ps. Always Smile!

"All alone again," I whisper.

I don't think about it too much and start making my breakfast, cereal and buttered toast. College student cooking goals right here people. I snap out of my thoughts as my cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Aren't you supposed to say. 'Good morning, Stevenson Residence. This is Dominic Stevenson speaking, how may I help you?'" My roommate Neil says through the phone.

"You do realize you're not calling the landline and I have caller ID, right?" I snicker.

"Anywho... you need to get here like right now! Chandler is getting a tattoo and you need to be here to see him cry," he suddenly shouts.

"Seriously, that idiot is actually going through with it?" I ask.

"Could be worse, he could get a dick piercing, like those anime guys you like," he jokes.

"Shut the fuck up, Neil, I'm on my way!" I say.

He ends the call and I hurriedly eat my breakfast. I finish putting everything back in place and get my car keys and bags. My phone suddenly vibrates while I lock the front door and I almost ignore it thinking it's Neil again, but then I see the blue light indicator.

Aspen has a new post.

I immediately click the notification and it launches my tumblr app. Two men, walking in a Japanese festival wearing traditional clothes. They're laughing, enjoying their date with each other, not having a care in the world, as long as they have each other.

You decide your own destiny

I recall Nameless' words for a moment and shake my head.

"Stay on routine Dominic, something bad will happen again if you don't," I say to myself.

I turn off my phone forgetting about the drawing and walk down the front porch. I get inside my car and put the key on the ignition, as the engine purrs I turn on the bluetooth on my phone and play the happiest song on my playlist. Listening to my mother, I smile fakely while driving off into an uncertain future.

~~~

 Published on December 15, 2017  

Dominic's sexy self up there ^

Hellooooo! Chapter 2 is up and you guys finally see Dom xD

Sorry if this one got delayed, school works has been killing me these days...

By the you guys are asking the drawings were made by a "bara" artist named "Mentaiko/Itto" I do not own these and completely credit him! (please don't sue me) He has a selection of manga that will make your nose bleed and you probably need tissues... (for the blood of course not because other substances...right?)

Anywhooo... what did you think of the cover? Love it or Hate it? Too much nudity or did you guys want more? It was made by my best friend Carl as a Christmas gift and he cringed making it and I quote "that gayness".

ALSO Shout out to my Aunt JaneyJordan who just celebrated her birthday a few days ago! Happy 24th Birthday auntie!

Next update.... uhm... haha... yeah... see you next time! *runs away