A shorty. I'm so sorry for not updating. I'm feeling more positive of late and will try to get my head into the writing mode.

"I've got you now!"

You've got me what now?!"

"You, you doofus"

"Shut the front door faster than you shut windows would you John... Put me down first mate" John frowned then unhanded me to the floor. He was quite strong for a city boy. Won't say that though. Men and their egos and such. I chucked my satchel with the remnants of small cakes crumbs and crusts from a tomatoe sandy (I hate crusts!!) in the hall cupboard for another day "Where's Sparkles?"

Finally back from Jimbos and Angie's, I was as cold as a igloo in an icicle... No, that ain't right... An igloo on an ice block- arghhh BERG. Iceberg. Riding motorbikes in English rain is not pleasant and it rained for eons on the cycle back from Wizzal. My mac was outside, my damp chilled self-inside.

It was quiet, too quiet for me.

Paul usually stormed in from some room flogging his dead horse about me being from the colonies and I should return post haste.

...Me being a wombat's poop. 

Was endearing in a way. He cared but placed it all in a cesspool of grumbles. I'll take it. I'm not fussy, and it sure beats silence.

"I believe he is plotting your demise"

"I thought he had already done that?"

"No, he was ordering Chinese from the local takeaway"

"Go home you ugly wallaroo!"

"Paul! God bless, I thought I had worn you down and you'd turned into my  fan instead"

He looked good. John did too, but I must concentrate on singles to mingle, mustn't I. And people that weren't my new brother- yuck, gag. Suede jackets, dark turtleneck shirts. Tight, tight pants. Amazing...

Ohhhhh, soooo that's how they reach the high notes. 'OOOOOO' I shook my head thinking of them 'Ohhhh-ing' and they both looked at me like I was a few cattle short in the top paddock.

"Fan. Yeah Sure. I'll be your fan. A big one, huffing and puffing, blowing hot air up your ars-"

"Paul?"

"WhAt John!?!"

"Play nice with ya sister"

"Oh excuse me, excuse me while I go rustle up Monopoly so we can play 'nice'"

"What's a Moanaplea, John?"

"My god you've finally sent her potty Paul"

"Have not. Just looking at you would send a lass round the twist"

"In a good way"

"No, round the twist like a mental institution"

"Damn, and I thought you wanted a quarter of the Beatles fame"

"Behave I'm a good five eighths of it already"

"Tosser"

"Wanker"

Excuse me..."

'What?!" The two wanking tossers turned on moi. Both huffing and puffing from the fight that was erupting before me very eyes.

"MOnepenny?"

"It's a board- Nope I'm not explaining it. This is ridiculous. Don't you baboons from Down Under know anything!?"

"No baboons in Australia, posh pants... Now, what's a board Mundaepenny?"

"Come on Paulie lets show Terri how you lose, and I win- MonoPOLY"

"Monopully?"

"Geezus! Monopoly you convict!"

****

And so it came to pass I was taught the intricate workings of the board game now correctly called

'Piece of shit. Mayfair's always mine ya bastard'

John's words, not Paul's.

Paul grinned evilly, the glint however, in his eyes, that he blessed upon my own was actually happy,fun. Realising he was smiling Paul clamped his gob.

But, over the next two and half- bloody hell TWO plus!! HOURS!, Paul scoffed, John tossed away dice- he did NOT like Go To Jail cards- AT ALL!, and I watched and learnt and purchased and finally, finally, broke John!

"You're broke, no denying John. Flat broke. You lose!" Paul giggled and fell to the side guffawing. The giggles were adorable. Truly adorable. John frowned but he smiled quick sticks thereafter because Paul was having a good time... with his sister. Me!

"Yep! I beat you at Mono John! How's that for Dickens!"

Paul lay clutching his tummy heaving laughs and John pushed me with fake grumbles about me flogging his arse in Mono.

"She beat me and can't even remember the name of the game" John ruffled my hair but it was ok I wasn't a princess, me hair was never put to rights, always a mess. John's eyebrows rose, somehow telling me to put my hand up for that high five thing the lads did when they were on a winning streak.

Good line in a song- let's high five.

Tell a dirty joke and get a proper bend at the middle belly laugh out of ole blue eyes, Richard- worth high five-ing.

So I did, and you know what... Paul, even laying on his side on the floor, gave me- the nut from down under- a high five!

It felt like Christmas, like belonging, like comradeship, like a small breakthrough and I took it. Hugging the moment tight to my heart. Sparkles face sobered, overthinking for moments then he let the win over John rise back to his eye balls and grinned like the handsome devil my brother is.

Oh how I love Mono!!!

*******

"That was fun"

"What was fun John?"

"George you wouldn't understand fun if it bit you on the nose and gave you a right good wank"

"Disgusting you are. You stare into space and blurt out random shite about fun and then go on about noses and wanking... What. Was. Fun?"

"Not telling"

"Richard, you deal with the lunatic"

"John can you not upset George. He's emotional because Pattie went to Bristol"

"Oh well then, I must apologise. Look George, I'm truly very very VERY not sorry. I don't flippin' care if Patties in Dublin-"

"Bristol"

"Who cares!! I was thinking about Terri's Mono and Pauls-"

"Terri has Mono! Bloody 'ell. She can pick 'em, can't she"

"No, you fool! Terri calls Monopoly- Mono amongst other names. She just can't get the name right. Silly lass"

"Paul did you know about Terri's mono? I hope you brought me a cuppa too"

"What?? No, I didn't bring you a cup of tea Richard, walk to the café like a normal person and get your own" Setting the overflowing cup of England's finest just so on the corner of the piano Paul made a duck face then grinned at John "The convict flogged John in Mono-Monopoly"

It had been pretty neat. The convict beating John then accidentally on purpose making the board tip on the floor.

A revelation in fact.

She was ahead. The weird crass and stubbornly still here Aussie had quite a few coloured sets, hotels having been placed in eager excitement- the way only a newbie to the game can act. Her mono pound notes in piles, all neat, so unlike everything else about her. The game had her hooked. And she ended it before she beat her brother. Before she flogged him. That's a fact.

His roll had the fancy car token heading for financially ruin on Vine Street. The die, sat mid board, a five and a four making the motor tap tap toward the orange square...

Over the ELECTRICITY COMPANY, past MARYLEBONE STATION, tap- tapping along. Over COMMUNITY CHEST. FREE PARKING was within a finger length but it wasn't to be, the posh car token hovered mid-air over Vine Street, dangling inches above. The Aussies mug expectant, Johns as ugly as usual.

The fate of touching that square a given, the demise of himself for sure.

Sure, he had Mayfair but the convict had been tugging bills from hands regularly for, at the very least, three laps of the board! £200 as you passed GO not a blind bit of help when Terri the Terrible was always holding her hand out when another Hotel ladened square was hopped upon.

And then the board was upside down, the wombat having leaned upon the edge that hung over the end of table.

Where the board hadn't been moments before.

Terri the terrible had in fact, been tinkering and tugging the thing, little by little. He had only realised the truth as he shaved the next morning.

She had ended the game so he didn't lose. 

She had ended the game to give him his grin.