Rory sat on her balcony, her legs hanging off the edge as she leaned against the bars keeping her safe. It had been three weeks since Jesse was murdered by Slade and three weeks since they locked him up in Belle Reve Prison. Supposedly, it was impossible to break out of but she had very little doubt that it would keep a man like him trapped there for long.

That prison was designed to hold the bad of the bad, the worst of the worst. Gotham would benefit from some of her criminals being locked up there, but that was only if they didn't get out of Arkham before they got transferred. Slade was one of the most dangerous men on the planet, along with Deadshot, Lady Shiva, and the Demon Head himself, Ra's Al Ghul.

She had been told once before by Malcolm Merlyn, that Rory had serious potential to be the most dangerous woman alive and he would hate to see what becomes of the person to make her that way. Oliver and Malcolm were enemies, but sometimes they had gotten along. The Ninth Circle had sunk its claws deep into Star City, and they enlisted his help to stop them. Merlyn had taken it upon himself to personally train Rory to be a better version of herself, to be an assassin in that year and a half and she swore to herself she would never fight like that again.

But she had, Rory had almost murdered Slade Wilson in cold blood and she would be lying to herself if she said that she wouldn't do it again if he were in front of her. Slade didn't deserve to live out the rest of his life in prison, knowing what he had reduced Rory to. Knowing that he had broken her down to the deepest darkest parts of herself, shattering the pieces she had kept together for so long.

Tim stood in the doorway, watching Rory as she took another sip of the glass beside her. He knew better than to think that it was something as simple as water, he was too observant for it. As a matter of fact, he knew that the very bottle the vodka had come from was hidden under her bed, inside a box of things she hadn't wanted to look at since Jesse died. It was needless to say that he was worried about her, Tim was watching her self destruct right in front of him but there was nothing he could do until she accepted the help.

Rory knew Tim was there watching her, waiting for her to say something; but what would she say? Since Jesse died, a part of her died with him. She no longer joked around, laughed at Dick's terrible puns, or even picked on Jason. Rory had gone as far as benching herself from patrol, something she used to look forward to no longer seemed fun anymore.

Tim let out a sigh as he walked further into the room, he had to try something; maybe try to convince her to stop drinking and put the bottle of vodka away? He couldn't stand to see her waste away like this. Carefully, he sat down next to her and placed his hand on hers. The second his skin touched hers, Rory drew her hand back and placed it on her lap sending a pang of hurt through Tim's heart. She had never rejected his touch like that before, normally Rory took comfort in his touch knowing that he was there for her to lean on.

They sat together in silence before Rory finally spoke. "He was the first person I ever loved, Jesse was the first to see what I buried deep inside of myself," she muttered taking another drink.

Tim looked at her, why was she telling him this? It's not that he felt jealous, he was more confused than anything. 

"He was my first for a lot of things really, my first love, my first real relationship, first friend outside of Roy in years... We were supposed to be together forever the three of us. The Three Musketeers we called ourselves, it caught on so much Oli and Dinah began to call us that." she chuckled softly, swirling the drink in her hand.

"But, he was also my first heartbreak, my first fight, my first partner. You can't ever forget someone like that," she muttered.

"No one is asking you to forget him or move on Rory. Hell, no one is asking you to do anything except to stay out of the liquor cabinet. We all loved him, in different ways than you and Roy, but we are grieving with you. None of us want you to feel like you are alone in this, because you're not." Tim spoke up, looking at her. 

"Roy is handling this almost as bad as you are, and Jason hasn't been seen in days. Everyone is worried about you, and them," he said.

Rory let out a huff. "Why? Worried that I'm going to help Roy break into Belle Reve and murder Slade in his sleep?" she snapped.

"No! None of us are thinking that Rory!" he said quickly.

"You don't have to because the thought has crossed my mind every night as I try to sleep. The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that I don't want to be any more of a monster than I am." she dumped the last of her cup and got up, sitting it on the bedside table.

"Rory, you are not a monster. How many times to I have to tell you this?" he asked, getting up and following after her.

"You seem to be forgetting the fact that I tried to kill him. I would have done it if Jason didn't stop me," she said, keeping her back to him as she walked towards the door. "It's better if you just move on and forget me, Tim, I'm no good for you."

Her hand grabbed the handle and pulled the door open when Tim's hand came up from behind her and slammed it shut, startling her. Rory stood there quietly, she could feel the warmth of Tim's body radiating from behind her. It was something she missed like hell, Rory had preferred to be on her own lately and that meant no Tim in her bed every night.

What surprised her more was when Tim grabbed her wrists and turned her roughly, holding her against the door. He was never rough with her, ever. Not even when they were having sex, his hands were always gentle with her as they trailed across her body. But this was different, looking up at him she could see that he was angry, angry at her.

"Don't you ever tell me to forget you Aurora Queen, you are the most important person in my life, and will never let you go if I have anything to say about it. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, I love you more than anything. You make me a better person, despite what you think of yourself. I will always fight to be worthy of you and your love because one day you might just realize that you are the one that deserves better." he said, the tone of his voice level quiet from his anger.

"Tim you're the one who deser-" he placed his hand over her mouth, similar to the moment he had first told her he loved her.

"Don't even try finishing that sentence. You are not a monster, you're human. All of these emotions you are feeling are normal Rory, everyone feels these when they are going through a loss like this. Don't you think I know what this feels like? My dad was killed and there was nothing I could do to stop it." he said, holding her against the door.

"If I had just stayed in that night like he had asked me to, then he might still be alive to this day or we both could have been killed by Boomerang. You can't waste your life thinking about all of the what-ifs, and let it stop you from living the life they want you to live. I know Jesse would kick your ass if he saw you hurting yourself like this and over him no doubt." Tim removed his hand from her mouth and cupped her face.

"Dealing with loss is never going to be easy, whoever told you that is full of shit and needs a reality check. And if you think I am going to leave you at a time like this, then you are the dumbest genius I know. I am going to be by your side through all of this, thick or thin. That ring on your finger was more than a promise to marry you one day, it's a promise that I am always going to be here for you." 

Rory swallowed as she tried to hold back her tears. Tim was right, of course he was right. If Jesse knew what she was doing to herself, he would skin her alive. Benching herself was one thing, but the flat out disregard of taking care of herself was another can of worms. She never knew how Tim had been adopted by Bruce, but it seemed that he had suffered a fate similar to others that lived in this Manor. 

She couldn't let this stop her from living her life, Rory had to keep living to fight the fight that no one else could. She had to keep going not just for her sake or Tim's but for Roy's, he was counting on her to have his back until the end. Losing Jesse, it had shaken everyone to their core upon realizing that it could be them one day leaving their loved ones behind in the land of the living while they got the chance to move on from this life.

Slowly, her free hand rose up to cup his cheek and pulled him closer. Tim's warmth radiated across her body, warming ever bit of her even down to her toes. She watched as a small smile spread on his face. "Don't shut me out Rory, remember we're partners. Wherever you go, I'm going too," he said softly.

"And wherever you go, I follow," she answered, leaning up to place a kiss on his soft lips. Tim's hand let go of her other wrist as he wound both arms around her waist, her hands gripping the front of his shirt. Rory rose to her toes to reach him better, wanting to feel more of him as she deepened the kiss.

His left hand went to cradle the back of her neck as he kissed her with such force that he knees buckled out from under her, Rory would have fallen if it weren't for the hold he had around her waist. Before she could take it further, Tim broke away from the kiss and looked down at her.

"I don't think this is the time for that Briar Rose, I don't want you feeling like you have to do anything because of me," he muttered, his lips brushing hers softly. 

Rory inhaled the scent of him slowly, as her eyes met his. "I want this, Tim. I've spent weeks not wanting to feel anything, pushing any sense of emotion out of myself. I want to change that, starting with my love for you." 

"You promise this is something you want?" he asked, tightening his grip on her waist. 

Rory gave him a firm nod. "There's nothing else I want right now Tim, I promise it's okay."

Neither of them said another word before his lips captured hers once more in a kiss so desperate, Rory's back thudded against the door again with the force of his lips. Her hands pulled at his shirt, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin under her touch-deprived of such needs.

Tim's hand left her waist as he flipped the lock on her door before he grabbed her thighs lifting her up. Rory's legs wrapped around his waist, pulling his hips closer to hers as she let out soft moans from his touch. His grip only tightened on her as she moved her hands towards his hair and tugged on it, making strained groans leave his lips.

He carried her over to the bed, and carefully set her down before crawling over her without breaking the kiss. His hands were all over her body, not wanting to leave one part of her untouched. Tim needed her like he needed oxygen, she was why he fought to live another day and if he ever lost her Tim would lose himself.

Rory's hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, trying to undo them before she finally quit and tugged as hard as she could popping several of them off. She trailed her fingers over his shoulders and slid the fabric off his torso as he discarded it to the side. Tim was quick with undressing her, not wanting to waste any more time, he needed Rory and needed to show her how much he loved her.

He pinned her hands back as he placed kissed all over the parts of her body he could reach. Hearing her whines of protest, he placed another kiss on her lips. "Shh, let me show you how much I love you Songbird." and he did just that.

With every kiss, touch, and whisper Rory felt the love he held for her deep in his heart. Everything Tim did, he did for her and he wanted her to know it. With his clothes tossed to the floor, Tim held her body close to his as they made love; the chorus of their moans filling the quiet room.

After, the two of them laid in bed Rory in his arms as his fingers traced the marks he had left across her skin. Her body was nothing short of a work of art to him, and Tim could sit for hours just admiring the woman in front of him. Rory had her eyes closed, as she listened to the rhythmic sound of his breathing. After being alone for so long, it felt nice to have him with her once again. Rory had truly missed him.

Of course, they both of them knew that the grief and guilt they held deep down wouldn't go away just like that. It was something that took time, and effort but like Tim had said before they couldn't let it stop them from living their lives. No matter what happened, Tim would be by Rory's side and she would be by his side taking care of each other as they went through this together.

Rory knew that she needed to see Roy and talk to him, maybe try to talk some sense into Jason as well. Tim had said that if anyone could get him back, it would be either her, Dick, or Roy. Everyone had decided that it was best to give him some space, Jason had never been good with dealing with his feelings that weren't sarcasm and snark. When it came to the more complicated things, he would up and leave because he didn't want to hurt anyone with his outbursts. Jason had thought that the responsible thing to do at least.

Roy had holed himself up in his room, from what she heard he was in worse shape than she was. Jesse was the love of his life, and he had died in his arms. Rory would walk in there now if it weren't for the fact that her legs were sore, and she had no idea what to say to him. She had never been in this position, losing your lover, and she never wanted to know what it felt like but it was something Roy was going through and he shouldn't be going through it alone.

Slowly, Rory turned to look at Tim as he traced the bites he left on her hips and stomach his eyes locking with hers. He smiled softly and kissed her again, Rory's swollen lips melting with his perfectly. "What's on your mind Briar Rose?" he asked.

"I'm worried about Roy mostly, what do I say to him?" she asked, tracing the lines on his chest from the muscle he had grown there. "I can't just tell him that everything will be okay. I've never been good at talks like this, and I'm scared that I will say the wrong thing." 

"You don't have to say anything at all, all you have to do is just be there. Remember, I just sat next to you and waited for you to do the talking? Do the same for him, make sure he knows that you are with him. With Jason gone, you are the only one he truly trusts right now and he will open up to you." Tim said, brushing his thumb over her lips.

"What if he doesn't say anything?" Rory leaned into Tim's touch as his thumb went from her lips to her jawline. "What do I do then?" 

"Then he isn't ready to open up, you can't force Roy to do anything any more than I could you. The two of you are cut from the same cloth, just give him time," he said tilting her head up into a kiss once more.

After another hour of them laying in bed, Tim and Rory finally got up and dressed. Slipping a hoodie over her head, Rory curled into its warmth as she walked towards Roy's room and knocked on the door.

It took a few minutes, but she heard a come in from the other side so she slowly pushed the door open. The lights in Roy's room were off and she saw him curled into the corner of his room, looking like he hadn't moved in days. Rory stepped in and walked over towards Roy, crouching down in front of him.

His eyes met hers briefly before he huffed a laugh and looked back at the wall. "I see that you and Tim are on better terms again," he muttered.

"Better terms?" she asked, raising a brow.

"You just got laid Twinkle Toes, you really think I wouldn't notice? You forget, I know you better than anyone else." he chuckled softly.

Rory narrowed her eye as she punched his arm. "You asshole. I came to check on you, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Want me to be honest? Like shit, like I took him for granted and didn't appreciate what I had enough before it was gone..." he trailed off. Rory watched him as he talked, they both knew that this was going to be a hard conversation but she wasn't going to push him. 

"Roy, Jesse knew you loved him. I saw it in the way he looked at you, he loved you so much. He never looked at me the way he looked at you, that's how I knew it was real." she said softly, leaning closer to him.

Roy sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I wish I realized my feelings earlier, so then I would have had more time with him. Here I was thinking that he was still pining after you when his dumb ass was just trying to get my attention and make me jealous." 

Rory let out a laugh, leaning her head on his shoulder. "He was never clear with his motives, and most of the time it got us into trouble." 

"Didn't you know, trouble was his middle name?" he asked, taking Rory's hand in his own. 

She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding, maybe she wasn't so bad at this comforting thing like she thought. Rory refused to leave his side as the two of them talked for hours about everything, sharing old memories of their fallen friend. The others left in the mansion had noticed that they both were nowhere to be seen, and poked their heads in. 

Roy had allowed them in, as he and Rory would share stories of missions they had gone on with Jesse when they were younger. They all had talked all through dinner when one more person arrived. Looking up, Rory saw Jason's tall figure standing in the doorway. He had come back, and it seemed he needed them as much as they needed him. 

Jason ruffled his hair with a shaky sigh as he sat next to Rory. She looked down and had taken his hand in hers and held it tightly like she had been with Roy for the last few hours. Seeing that he hadn't tried to punch her for it, Rory kept a hold on his hand giving him that small form of comfort that he needed from his friends. 

"So what were you talking about when I walked in?" he asked.

"The time that he froze Oli's garage, and somehow managed to blame me and Roy," Rory answered.

Jason let out a small laugh, his grip on Rory's hand tightening. "How did Oliver believe that? Wasn't it buried in ice?" 

Rory and Roy both nodded with a laugh as they told the story, reliving the memories with a smile. Maybe, with each other, this wasn't going to be so bad.

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So this was a bit of a tough one to write, grieving over someone is not easy and it just doesn't go away with the flick of a wrist. It comes and it goes, I know from experience especially with losing my grandmother last fall, we were super close and even a year later it's still hard. I've lost multiple people in my life and even years later it's still not easy some days.

I don't want to downplay the process of grieving, but I don't want to glorify it either. Rory and co. still have a tough road ahead of them, and I am excited for you all to see it.

Until Next Time,