"Hurry back, you guys! I want you to meet Melody when she gets here!" Soos called from the porch. He waved at Ford and I. Ford had agreed to take me into the forest and study some of the abnormal life there. Stan's head appeared from behind the screen door.

"Hey, Pretty Boy! It's your turn to wash the toilets tonight!" he shouted in his usual gruff voice. I shuddered. The plumbing of Gravity Falls wasn't a mystery I was looking forward to investigate.

For someone of Ford's age, he walked quite fast. I wasn't a short man, in fact I was nearly his height, but one stride of his equalled two of mine. I managed to keep up, but out of breath, I asked, "Where are we going?"

"I have completed my first two journals," began Ford. "I can remember most of the third, but I'm missing some important details. Today, we are travelling to a cave deep in the mountains to measure the wingspan of giant vampire bats."

My heart fell. Vampire bats? I was concerned I wouldn't get to experience the amazing and weird things Ford had...

***

I made a vow to never doubt Ford again.

Actually, it probably sounded like "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

We had trudged through the forrest and up a mountain until we came upon a hidden cave. I could barely see five inches ahead of my face. It was like the cave swallowed any light into an inky darkness, like a black hole. 

Ford lit a flare. "Time to provoke them!"

He tossed it into the cave, and as it twirled to the ground, the creatures were illuminated. It was like a water well filled with giant, furry, winged hell-spawns. It was like someone had used Miracle Grow on a normal bat. I could visibly see each short, coarse strand of hair and each thin bone shifting under the tautly stretched skin of their wings. Suddenly, one by one, they each opened their demonic eyes. The deepest of blood red is what greeted me. They weren't like any bat eye's I had ever seen!

They shrieked. I covered my ears, wincing at the ear-piercing screams. I opened one eye and peaked over the edge of the cave. That was a mistake. The bats had taken flight and I was immediately smacked in the face by an airborne monster.

I rubbed my nose, certain it was broken. Ford pushed up his sleeves. "Follow my lead!"

He leapt onto the back of one of the bats. He struggled with it for a while, trying to take control. Soon he had spread a wing out in each hand, gliding smoothly over the trees. I gulped.

Swallowing my fear, I jumped into the horde of angry bats. I grabbed one, and instantly plummeted into the cave, dragging it down with me.

It's body writhed under me. We were free falling, summersaulting through the air, slamming into other bats and the cave walls. My grip on the bat was slipping, but I held on. The bat dug it's hooked claws into the rock, stabilizing us. Without warning, it took off with me on its back.

We soon were atop of the trees, far from the rest of the bats. It tried desperately to fling me off. I grabbed the scruff of it's neck like a cat, signaling that I was in charge. It shrieked in panic. I spread my hands over the wings, forcing them to open so that we were gliding, but we plummeted without a few beats of the massive wings out of free will from the creature itself. It seemed to understand I wasn't there to harm it, but rather assumed I was as scared as it was.

The pine trees smelled sweet and earthy. I felt the wind comb its fingers through my long hair. I noticed Ford flying about twenty feet beside me. He laughed and shouted, "Nice work, kid!"

He tossed me a tape measure, which I nearly dropped. I measured the wingspan. 12.4 feet.

I made a mental note of the number, happy to think that I was contributing to his famed journals. Flying over Gravity Falls excited me. I pumped my fists into the air with a loud 'whoop!'

The bat saw this as the opportunity to buck me off. 

My stomach dropped as soon as I felt myself sliding off its back. I could hear Ford shouting as I plummeted. The air was ripped from my lungs so that I couldn't scream. The forrest floor was too close.

20 feet.

10 feet.

5.

1.

***

I fell into a booth at Greasy's diner. I gasped, forcing the air into my straining lungs. My heart was thumping violently, and a few strands of curly hair were tangled in my glasses. Breathing deeply, I glanced around the diner. No one seemed to notice that a man just fell into the restaurant.

Robbie was suddenly next to me setting down a tall stack of buttery pancakes. He walked away without a word. Still in shock, I stared at the food. It made me sick to look at it.

I heard a nasally laugh.

"Did you have a nice fall?"

I looked up so quickly I hurt my neck. There sitting in the booth across from me was a tall, blonde man. He was skinny and his hair was shaggy. His skin was a perfect tan and flawless. He almost looked like a mannequin. His wide, thin-lipped smile added to his inhuman look. One eye was a bright, flat blue. The other was hidden by a black eyepatch. 

His hands were folded under his chin, his elbows rested on the table. He was very attractive despite his unrealistic appearance.

"You didn't answer my question, Carlos."

"How- how did you know my name?" I asked.

He laughed that nasally laugh again. "I know a lot about you, Carlos. Or is it Science Dude? No, that's meager. Pretty boy?" He looked me up and down, making me uncomfortable. "Yeah that sounds a bit better."

I looked up. The pine rafters remained still and covered with cobwebs. "Where's Ford?"

"Don't worry about old IQ," said the man. "The only thing you need to think about is what I'm about to offer you."

"I don't even know how you are, you freak!" I said angrily. 

"No need to get testy, Pretty Boy," said the man nonchalantly. "You know that statue you're running those tests on?"

The blood rushed from my face, my mouth agape.

"I need you to do something to it for me," began the man.

My mouth was dry. "What..."

The man's one uncovered eye lit with a hellish fire. "Destroy it."

I felt numb. My mind was running with questions. Who was he? How did he know about the statue? Did this have something to do with Ford? The only thing I could muster was, "Why?"

The man cackled. "So I can come back!"

"Who are you?"

"They should have left that statue in the forest if they knew what was good for them," said the man. He lazily picked up a butter knife from the table and started to play five finger filet. "If it is destroyed, then the statue can no longer be something physical but an idea. In other words, it exists in the mind."

"Who ARE you?" The man's indifference was making me enraged.

"It's not like you all have much time anyway. The longer I exist in someone's mind, the stronger I get. This whole 'Never Mind All That' law won't do much damage now that I have you," said the man.

I stood rapidly, slamming my palms down on the table, still obtaining no attention from the other patrons. The man didn't even flinch.

"Who are you?" I said through gritted teeth. 

The man set down the knife and leaned back in the booth. He regarded me cooly. With a snap of his perfectly sculpted fingers, the other people in the diner disappeared. I blinked in confusion, looking around at the empty booths and bar. The man sighed.

"I guess this meat suit won't work," he said. I stared at him in disbelief. His pupil changed into a slit of black. 

The man burst into flames.

I leapt back in fear, feeling the heat of the blue flames.

... blue flames?

The maniacal laughter sounded from deep within the inferno. A silhouette was visible. I gulped. It was a triangle.

The equilateral nightmare sprung out from the fire, his eye glowing red and a tiny hand outstretched as if waiting for a hand shake.

"The name's Bill Cipher! Nice to meet ya!"