Let's talk about cliché fanfictions, shall we?

And, if you're one of the aspiring authors who've written some of these clichés, I highly suggest following the ways to fix them that I've jotted down.

Oh, and don't think that this will be the last of these fanfiction clichés. There'll be a TON more to talk and discuss, as well as more action for Mary to partake in.

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First up, the typical PDH fanfiction, wherein the main character falls in love at the first day of class - let's face it, we've probably written this before - and I, myself, am guilty of writing this cliché.

Aphmau's POV

OMG. Look at him, with his flawless tanned skin and soft, light brown luscious locks - even though I haven't touched them yet, I assure you they're soft - as his icy blue eyes gazed into my hazel eyes. His tall, five foot eleven-stature towered over my... four feet and three inches.

"I need to go to the bathroom," he announced, scampering to the restroom.

He is so hawt. I luv him.

And yeah, it's unrealistic - loving someone just by seeing them - though, I used the term "like," so it's mostly physical attraction at first, not emotional.

I highly suggest changing that part a bit. Maybe they don't even notice their future love interest during the first day? Maybe she/he hates her/him at first? -- though, that one is also cliché, due to Aaron and Aphmau's love story starting off like that.

Also, why do these fanfictions always start like this?...

Aphmau's POV

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Ack, that must be my alarm clock. Annoyed, I gripped the clock and threw it against the wall, continuing to sleep against my soft mattress.

I totally got to sleep even with the sound of the clock's bits and pieces sprawled across the floor - yeah, totally.

"Aphmau! Get your lazy butt down here! It's your first day!"

"Okay, coming!!" I grunted, slipping out of the bed as I flopped onto the floor blah blah blah...

First off... beep beep I'm a sheep.

Okay, okay, but seriously - why do they always start off the stories like this?

And "that must be my alarm clock," well, NO DUH it's your alarm clock - you set that there the night before!

Also, Sylvanna probably paid some good money to afford that alarm clock, and there she goes throwing it against the wall, even though that could practically make a large hole in the wall.

#StopAlarmClockAbuse and #DonateToSylvanna

Can anyone just start a fanfiction normally? Like, with the parents telling them to enjoy their day, or with them randomly dozing off in the middle of a REGULAR school day? It doesn't always have to be the first day, you know.

Next up, the way Aphmau/or the MC meets her/his love interest. She/he/they either bumps into them (like Aaron), clumsily trips over someone, or accidentally kisses them on the first day.

Aphmau's POV

I was walking to school safely, when I bumped into a wall. Oh wait, it wasn't a wall... it was a hot guy! "Watch where you're going," he sneered, walking off.

Man, that wasn't rude at all - in fact, that was very attractive and gives me all the reason to love him.

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Katelyn's POV

I strode into the halls of Phoenix Drop High, keeping my normal balance as I kept my eye out for Aphmau - last I heard, she bumped into this hot guy!

As I strolled across the corridor, I slipped on a random banana peel conveniently placed in the middle of the hall because of plot reasons, and I fell on top of a male with brown hair and emerald green eyes.

Oh no! This pose is really suggestive even though the author probably hasn't gone through sex education yet! Oh, and he's also a freshman and I'm a sophomore - he also looks like Jeffory.

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Garroth's POV

I was sitting on my lunch table with Laurance and Dante, when someone slapped the back of my head, making my lips meet someone else's.

Needless to say, it was a good kiss, and when I opened my eyes... I saw...

LAURANCE!1!!¡¡???¿¿

On that day, I found out I was gay.

Speaking of ship-fics, what are with all those fanfictions that have... um... "weiner-bun action" in the middle of them? I didn't search them up, but I'm sure there's some of them out there, knowing that this is the internet.

For Irene's sake, they're all UNDER EIGHTEEN - they're under the legal age of consent! And, the authors themselves are probably twelve!

Seriously. Do some people have nothing better to do with their lives?
Though, that's actually hypocritical coming from me, who writes stories about fictional characters as she talks to people online instead of exploring Japan/or the Philippines.

Next, the two people in the couple magically have the same schedule! They have zero differences at all, which makes it easier a task for the author as well as gives them more chances to show PDA.

Katelyn's POV

"Hey, when's Biology for you?" I questioned Jeffory as he turned to me. "The same as you," he replied, happily.

"But do you know when MY class is?" I asked him, cocking a brow. "No, but plot says I should go with you because apparently we make out in the next three chapters."

"Oh, okay."

The chances of two people that like each other magically getting sorted into the same class is kinda low - I guess they're just really lucky.

Teony's POV

"Hey," this girl named Suzette said to me, as I gave her a warm smile. "Oh, hey!" I greeted, taking a few steps closer to her.

"Let's kiss."

"Okay."

Maybe develop their relationship AFTER they talk multiple times hmm 'kay? They can't just kiss within one day of knowing each other - a week, maybe - a month, probably - a year, yes!

Also, there's literally nothing about the story that actually relates to the story - they just like things that have to do with high school because "drama."

Maybe have them do homework together? Oh, but don't give me that "teacher matchmaker" plot - it's overused.

Maybe have their friends abandon them on a day they were supposed to study? For example, it's a Garmau story, what about...

Garroth and Laurance get paired together, while Katelyn and Aphmau are on the other pair. The four of them decide to all do their projects together, but Laurance and Katelyn ditch Garroth and Aphmau for... a date?

Anyways, Garroth and Aphmau are left in an awkward silence - and in that awkward silence, they get to know more about each other.

Seems slightly unrealistic, but it works. I mean, Katelyn and Aaron beat Ein to a pulp (and vice versa) and NONE of them got charged for physical abuse - now that's what I call "amazing rolemodels!"

*sarcasm*

But, all in all, that was all I found wrong with PDH. Jess and her team really did an amazing job! And of course, they're amazing people! 💜

Okay, enough of that tangent. Let's talk about the necessary sleepover. And in this sleepover, the two main characters obviously kiss, because they all decided to play ToD or spin the bottle.

I mean, what ever happened to tag? Can't they just play "Legend of Zelda" like normal people? Wii? Gameboys? Cellphones?

I guess everything else other than sleeping bags, couches, clothes, and bottles magically disappear when about six teenagers have a sleepover.

Oh, and don't forget that it has to be at Aphmau's house! Kawaii~Chan's house doesn't exist! It was obliterated by Pluto!

...As you can see, I'm joking. Can they have a sleepover other than Aphmau's house? We've seen the Ro'Meaves' house before, so... (this is actually hypocritical coming from me...)

Are there no other events that could possibly bring them together? School fair? A play? Losing a seat at the cafeteria? Scampering to the same restroom? Anything?

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That's all I have today, youngens. I have to save some of the content for other chapters.
I hope you enjoyed this and make sure to come back next time! <3

- vinyl