This time, the book we have is...

Shadow_chan1's "It Will Be Ok...... Laurence X Katelyn (MCD Version)"

Actually, I have a very specific reason for why I wanted to critique this...

I believe this book is a copy of SugaryHippo25's "It's Going To Be Ok... A Laurlyn Fanfic", not storywise, but on its physical appearance [cover, title, etc.]

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➵ c o v e r

The problem with the cover, is that its the exact same one as that of SugaryHippo25's book; it has a different title, AND it even has her flipping USERNAME on it.

I advise you, very much, to change this.

  ➵ b l u r b / d e s c r i p t i o n

HI AUTHORS HERE! This is our Laurence X Katelyn ship story in Minecraft Diaries! Actual Description: Laurence secretly likes Katelyn but Katelyn doesn't like Laurence. He is trying very hard, but is it too hard? P.S:There maybe other ships happening at the same time..... Sometimes that happens when Dj types up a story

Isn't it quite sad, that the authors' notes are longer than the actual description?

I believe there are things you can add to the description, to make it more interesting and appealing. 

  ➵ c r e d i t s 

They didn't add in Aphmau in the credits, yet they added her in the tags. I suggest you add them in, rather than just saying it's in Aphmau's series, which y'all didn't credit.

➵ t i t l e

Here's another problem; the title is almost exactly the same as the other one; they just took out "'s Going To" and replaced that with "Will," and other than that, they just added in that it's Laurence X Katelyn.

You can think of a better title than that; something like, "His Heart's Persistence" or something, I don't know. 

  ➵ s t o r y

Sadly, there are more Authors' Notes than the actual story, once again.

Based on the one chapter they've posted so far, I think it's pretty normal. Other than Aphmau acting quite out of character, it's okay.

➵ s u m m a r y

1.) Make your own cover, and don't use someone else's cover, unless they willingly made it for you, or gave you permission.

2.) Have a more appealing description to draw readers in.

3.) Credit Empress_Aphmau, and if you'd like to say y'all took inspiration, then credit SugaryHippo25.

4.) Have a more interesting title, that isn't too close to the original.

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Remember, this is a critique; meaning, its purpose is to help you, and make you a better writer, not to attack you.

Signing off,

_hannecho_