♡ w e e k 1 - c r i t i q u e ♡
Okay guys, the book for today is "Chaleged!!!" written by Katelynn_Fire_Fist.
This will be a little bit on the nicer side, since I'm nearly 100% sure this user is below the age of thirteen.
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➵ c o v e r
The cover she used features artwork made by another person; now, I'm not saying using art by another person in your cover is wrong, I'm saying that you should credit the original artist, which she didn't.
Now, I took the time to look for the original work. It's "(HateShip) Vylalyn" made by sweetpeagamer on DA [DeviantArt] So, I recommend you add that to the credits in the description, or just leave an external link to it.
Next up, the font. The font is flippin' boring. It looks very plain. I suggest you change the size, to be larger; the color, since on Katelyn's side, some of the words blend in with her hair; the font itself, to a more exciting font.
[NOTE: if there's no other exciting font in your program, I definitely recommend Canva. That's what VinylLights uses for all her graphics]
➵ b l u r b / d e s c r i p t i o n
If she spelled things correctly, with proper grammar, I would say her blurb had been done pretty well, but no.
There are a lot of spelling errors in the blurb alone, and you'll see what I'm talking about later.
Next up, the credits.
Okay, okay, she spelled Aphmau's username correctly, good, good; but she spelled Vinyl's username incorrectly.
"original story writen by: vynal lights"
Her name's VinylLights, get it right. It's pretty easy to spell, honestly. She actually took the time to point this out, to be replied with one, single word; "sory"
Yeah, really.
So, in total, I would say fix it up, get someone older to grammar-check it, spell Vinyl's name right, and you're good to go.
➵ t i t l e
"Chaleged!!!"
Not even the title is spelled correctly. Holy moly.
In the cover she spelled it properly, but she left the first letter in lowercase.
But, I guess it's pretty okay. It's not like one of those titles, "aarmau" Like, you wouldn't believe the amount of fanfics named, "aarmau."
➵ s t o r y
The plot itself is okay, but hell, the freakin' spelling.
It needs a LOT of work, like, A LOT.
I would suggest you have someone much older, like, your parents or siblings [if you do have some] to grammar-check this, because this needs a lot of editing.
Oh, and add some commas. They never did anything wrong to you.
➵ s u m m a r y
1.) credit the original artist
2.) get a more exciting font
3.) get your story spell-checked and edited by someone older
4.) spell Vinyl's username correctly
5.) properly spell the title of your book
- Changing most of your mistakes could help you gain more reads and votes.
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Please remember, that this is not a personal attack, but a critique. I'm doing this to help you improve, not to hate on you.
So, signing off,
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