Top pic credit: doraikar

Ari POV:

The waiting game.

My god, is it excruciating.

A few days had gone by since I'd first woken up in the hospital. Upon originally waking up from my coma, I'd ended up staying awake for those forty-eight hours straight, because I was too afraid that if I went to sleep, I'd never wake up again.

Of course, my body was quick to let me know that living a sleepless life was not possible, as I passed out for an entire twenty-four hours on the fourth day of no sleep, forgetting about all the worries and pain that the real world presented me with.

And, I did wake up.

The waiting game continued. A few more days went by after that, which now equated to a week.

I never let go of the feather in my hands, spending my free time staring at it, searching for any movements, instead of doing something distracting, like watching TV, or messaging the very few friends I had left.

And, on the days I did decide to watch something, the only sight I was met with, was the sight of my face, along with a nasty headline about who these people think I really am.

It was hard to see, but sometimes you just can't look away.

Anyways, it wasn't all bad. There were a lot of times, I got to see my true friends and family on the big screen, trying to clear my name, and Keigo's, too.

"Keigo Takami is innocent! He sacrificed his feathers and his quirk to save me, multiple times throughout this war. My sister Ari, is no different! She's a true hero, and she was willing to give her life, in order to save every student and hero in that mansion!" My brother Sammy stated passionately, practically grabbing the microphone out of the reporter's hand as he spoke to the news stations.

But, the reporter was obviously not on my side, as the old man in the suit quickly grabbed the microphone back from Sammy, trying to subtly push him out of the camera frame as he spoke.

"I'm sure you love your sister, kid. But, Ari Parker didn't save anyone. The Hero Commission says that she was part of the reason the mansion came down in the first place. They say she sabotaged the foundation, a few days before the war, to ensure that the place would come crashing down and kill everyone. As for the number two hero, Hawks? Well, we don't know much about his personal life, to begin with. But, seeing him murder someone with my own eyes is enough to believe that he should be locked up in the psych hospital, just like his father." The reporter hypothesized incorrectly, quickly ending the program as Sammy tried to intervene again.

Time to change the channel. Let's see what else is on...

"Best Jeanist, we are still so elated to see you back in the spotlight-now, it is believed that you were one of the few people in the world who knew Hawks' real name, before the rest of the world did. How? Did Mr. Takami tell you?" A famous talk show host asked the jeaned man, eyes lighting up with greed as he was hoping Jeanist would spill some good dirt.

The jeaned man subtly rolled his eyes at the question, giving his hair a smoothing before he spoke.

"No, he didn't tell me. I accidentally found out, one day, when I overheard the late Diane Himura yelling at him for no reason, during a celebration ceremony for All Mi-"

"Did you know who his father was when you heard the name?! Did you tell Keigo that!! Oo, sounds like we had a case of secret blackmail going on, behind closed doors, folks!! How scandalous!!" the talk show host laughed, giving his eyes an obnoxious wiggle as he looked towards the live audience.

Becoming irritated, Jeanist firmly held up his hand to shut everyone up, so he could speak his piece.

"Of course I knew who his father was. And no, I did not tell him. I never once brought up Mr. Takami's father, to the boy, because it wasn't relevant. It's not relevant to who Hawks is as a person. He's not his father, so there was no need to dig up old wounds, that are none of my business, and bring unnecessary attention to it. That's like me bringing up that god awful nose job you have, Mr. Timmy Phallon." Jeanist stated with class, crossing his Gucci-jeaned legs as he casually leaned back in his chair.

The crowd went wild at Jeanist's comment, with lots of ooo's and aaah's. Even the talk show host, Timmy Phallon, faked a laugh. But, the show went on a few moments later, to show that the public was missing Jeanist's point.

"Yeah, well. It's hard to believe Hawks isn't a psychopathic murderer when you got visual proof of it, you know? Ahhh, but come on folks! It's not all that bad. After all, Ed Dundy was a serial killer and somehow still managed to be a heartthrob with the crazy ladies! Looks like Hawks is just the new Ed Dund-"

TV off. Back to feather watching we go.

More days went by. Mornings and evenings began to blur together, once I'd started avoiding the television for good. I'd looked at Keigo's feather for so long now, I've practically memorized the shape and texture of every single bristle on the thing.

Even though it was cold, I kept the window open sometimes, holding Keigo's feather tightly between my fingers, but extending my arm outside, so it's plumes would be able to feel the fresh breeze running through them.

Do you feel it, Keigo? Can you hear me?

When I bring your feather to my lips and kiss it softly, can you feel it? When I whisper sweet nothings about you and little tidbits of my boring, agonizing days....can you understand it? When my mother and father are finally asleep and away from their worries, finally leaving me alone to cry my eyes out the way I've been waiting to all day....can you sense it? Can you hear me crying your name, Keigo? Can you hear me crying for you softly until I put myself to sleep?

Well, I hope not. Because, I know if you heard it, you'd feel bad. I don't want you to feel bad. I just can't hold back my tears, anymore.

Time heals all wounds. That's how the saying goes, right?

"Can I see him now, mom? Please? I think I'm feeling better." I'd lied to my mother, a few more days later, when she helped me sit up in my hospital bed to eat.

A flash of pity flew across my mom's face at my small tone of desperation. She watched as I continued gripping the feather tightly between my fingers, knowing that I have not once let it go for the entire week and a half that I've been awake.

"I...I'll call in the doctor today, and see if we can clear you to go sit with him for a bit. You'll need a wheelchair. You're not strong enough to walk, yet." She smiled tiredly, wiping away the bags under her eyes before quickly going to close my window shades, so that I would not see the angry protestors, yelling for me to be "locked up!" down below.

But, I still saw them before she had a chance to close the blinds. I heard them, too.

That's alright. Time heals some wounds. Plus, it sounds as if I might even get to finally see Keigo today. That will help heal me for sure.

"You won't be going anywhere today." The doctor stated firmly, when she came in to assess my condition.

My mom's eyes closed sadly as she gently gripped my hand, yet my lips pouted a bit as I spoke to the doctor.

"B-But, even just for a few minutes? His room is only right down the hallway. I assure you, I can make the trip, if I'm taken there in a wheelchair-" I tried to reassure, quickly shutting up when she cut me off.

"It's not about your physical ability to handle it, Ms. Parker-though, you're definitely in no shape to be wandering around, anyways. It's your mental state. Your fMRI scans show that the amygdala and mid-anterior cingulate cortex of your brain are overstimulated." The doctor explained vaguely, causing my brows to furrow in confusion as to what that meant.

Seeing my questioning look, her eyes softened a bit as she took a seat in one of the chairs, placing her clip board on the desk to try and take a more gentle approach.

"Ari. The mechanisms of one's brain tend to...change a bit when they develop post traumatic stress disorder. Even when we had asked you to rest quietly and think about things that made you happy, you still had high levels of activity in the brain networks that control your reactions to signals of threat and danger. In other words, your mind is in a very fragile place right now. You aren't just trying to recover physically at the moment, but mentally, too." She stated gently, noticing the way my eyes had nervously hovered to the crest of the Hero Commission Hospital on her doctor's coat.

Almost as if forgetting that my room in particular had been cleared of everything relating to the Hero Commission, she quickly placed her stethoscope atop the crest to hide it, shooting me a genuine smile of apology as she continued.

"I understand that you and Hawks are very close. And I want you to know that I am doing everything I can to save him. But, Ari. It's not a pretty sight to see in that room, at the moment. The healthy-the physically healthy man that you used to know, is currently lying comatose in a bed. He's on a ventilator, with tubes and monitors sticking out of his frame. His face and body are entirely wrapped up from his burns, and machines are still needing to help him breathe from his severe smoke inhalation and burn shock. I don't....I don't think it's good for your anxiety to see him like this." She urged gently, pursing her lips in distaste as her hospital phone began to ring with another urgency.

Not wanting to cause her any problems, I nodded softly in understanding, quickly averting my eyes to my sheets so that I wouldn't make her angry. I always made Diane angry if I looked at her for too long.

The doctor paused in her tracks upon seeing my behavior, not daring to move any closer to me, but staying in her place to say her parting words.

"I understand it's hard now. I understand that it may be hard for a long time. But, please know.....while the Hero Commission may be very messed up and did you wrong, we....we aren't all like her, Ari. It's okay if you don't believe me. You'd have no reason to. But....I just want you to know, that I had no idea what was happening behind closed doors. I'm just a doctor, who wants to help. And I will save him. I'll save you, too, okay? Rest for now. We'll check your progress next week. If you're feeling better, you can see him then." She finished, quickly turning on her heel to leave a few moments later so that she didn't trigger me any longer.

I kept my attention on my sheets as I heard the door close behind me, unable to take the doctor's words to heart too much.

Yeah. It was nice of her to say. But, people say a lot of nice things and still end up turning on you, so you can't trust them.

I dunno. Do you think she was telling the truth? I'm not sure. My anxiety says no. My heart says yes. Who knows, though. I'll be keeping my guard up, regardless.

Then, more time passed. Another day. Another jello cup from the hospital cafeteria. Another day of protestors yelling at me from the ground below. Another humiliating trip to the bathroom with my mom, needing her to help me sit down to relieve myself like a baby who can't do anything.

The bathroom trips were always the worst. Not even because my mom had to help me, but because those were the times where I was forced to leave Keigo's feather behind on my bed.

I didn't want to lose it.

I'd tried to convince my mother that I could, simultaneously, go to the bathroom and hold the feather in my hand.

But, "what if it falls in the toilet, huh? You gonna tell Keigo that you drowned his feather in your pee? He'll make fun of you for the rest of your life, and so will I." My mom tried to joke lightheartedly, still subtly prying the feather out of my iron gripped fingers so I could go and use the bathroom.

I always tried to smile at her joking attempts, but it was getting hard to do so now.

But....time....heals all wounds, right...

Once two more weeks of hell had come and gone, it would mark a month since I'd woken up from my coma. That means, Keigo has been in his coma for over a month now.

And it seems that doctor lady might have been serious in her words of kindness a few weeks ago, when she came in to do another assessment.

Quite honestly, I didn't notice a difference in my behavior, since the last time I saw her. I was still incredibly depressed. I've barely been eating. My amygdala and something-cortexes were surely still 'overstimulated,' and I felt myself finding it hard to even give a simple smile now.

If anything, I'd gotten worse. I felt like a walking pile of dead shit. I was clearly withering away, dying, even though I was alive and 'healing.'

And, maybe it's because the doctor saw this, too....that she decided it was better to just try a new approach to save my own psyche.

"I think.....today....might be a good day...if you'd like to go and visit him." She proposed gently, clearly having her own reservations about the idea, judging from the forced smile on her face.

But, to me....it sounded to be the best idea I've heard in months.

Even just hearing her words, I felt my dull eyes slowly come back to life as a foreign wave of happiness filled my veins. Maybe that was just the extra pain medication in my IV drip, but who knows. The fact is, I felt it.

I leaned forward in my bed, looking up at the doctor as if she was suddenly the savior to all of my problems.

Tears had started to cloud my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. I didn't want her to think I was too emotional to handle this, even though I definitely was.

Not trusting my voice to speak, I simply gave her a wordless nod of agreement, silently and eagerly awaiting the next steps.

My mom had smiled genuinely for the first time in over a month, upon hearing the doctor's words, looking at me with small excitement for the suggestion. Only small excitement, cause you know....Keigo's still in a coma.

But, this is a start, I guess.

"I'll get a wheelchair, Ms. Parker. I can't let you stay longer than thirty minutes, though. Alright?" She sighed softly, giving me a small nod as she left the room to call for a wheelchair.

Thirty minutes is fine. Sure, I could stay in there all day, if they'd let me. But, any time with Keigo is precious and appreciated.

"Please, Ari. Please try to prepare yourself for what you'll see. As I've said, he doesn't look like the man you used to know, anymore. Even if he wakes up, he's going to have a lot of mental and physical damage." The doctor warned as she slowly wheeled me down the empty hallway, telling me to keep my eyes closed for now so I wouldn't see the propaganda and people of the Hero Commission.

I'd need cognitive therapy to deal with that effectively, the doctor said. Something about exposure therapy, I think. I don't really remember. I don't want to, either. The point is, she said I should take these things one day at a time, so I will.

But, now. None of that mattered to me. Not since I'd been wheeled up to a closed door that I knew would need to be Keigo's room. I opened my eyes involuntarily, upon feeling our movement stop, looking up to see two big guards standing in front of the door.

Luckily, they didn't have anything related to the hero commission on their appearance.

The doctor gave them a small nod of assurance to step aside for my mother and I, so they did.

And that's how I ended up here. In this exact moment of present time, waiting for the doctor to open the door to Keigo's room. It's been a hellish few weeks. A hellish month. A hellish year to get to this point-and, it's not even a happy point.

But, here we are. I've been waiting and surviving for this moment. And I can honestly say that I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

The doctor inhaled deeply, seeming as if she was feeling her own anxiety over this, before she hesitantly placed her hand on the ice cold door knob to the room.

"Remember, Ari. Thirty minutes is all I can give you. But...I promise to give you the full thirty. I'll be back soon. If it becomes too much for you, or you start to feel sick, press the call button on your lap, and I'll come right over. Okay?" She asked, waiting for my audible confirmation before she would open the door.

I smiled softly at her words, giving an eager nod as I forced myself to speak to her.

"O-O...Okay." I rasped out shakier than I meant to, holding my breath as I desperately tried to keep my fragile psyche together so that the doctor wouldn't retract this incredibly important moment.

And, she did hesitate upon hearing my voice, pressing her lips together in her own type of contemplation, before sighing defeatedly.

"Alright. Well, go on in then." She smiled tiredly, slowly turning the metal knob of the door, before it began to creak open just a bit.

It hadn't been opened enough to allow me the sight of Keigo just yet, but my heart rate had already begun to pound at the mere sight of the opened door, hearing the faint sounds of monitors and medical machines working steadily inside the room.

I kept my bandaged fists balled in my lap tightly to control my nerves, vaguely hearing my mother thank the doctor, before she took over to help me get inside Keigo's room.

Wordlessly, my mom opened the door a bit more in order to be able to get my wheelchair through the space, before she ever so carefully began taking me inside.

My teeth began to grind down on eachother as the door slowly began to clear from my vision, before I finally saw the outlined shadows of the hospital bed in this darkened, somber room.

And, finally, there he was.

Unrecognizable, as he's never looked more broken.

I couldn't help but gasp softly as I took in Keigo's appearance. Sure, everyone's spent the last weeks telling me to prepare myself for what I'd see, and I did-or, I tried. I tried to imagine the worst sight you could possibly think of.

But, seeing it for myself-even from far away. Seeing a comatose Keigo Takami lying lifeless in this dark room, hands positioned limply on both sides of his body-his body, that was completely wrapped up in bandages from head to toe; seeing the way his chest mechanically moved up and down for breaths that weren't entirely his own, only coming and going in sync with the giant machine he was hooked up to, a few feet away.

And even though it was concealed with medical gauze, I could make out the outline of the burn that would now scar one side of Keigo's face. The lower parts of his face were covered by an oxygen mask that tried to help his fragile lungs work a bit better.

Seeing it for myself....it was all too much at first sight.

A small whimper of sadness escaped from my throat before I could stop it, causing my mom to quickly stop our path towards Keigo's bed side.

Shit. No, Ari. Get it together. This may be your only chance to ever see him again-

"Do you want to turn around? It's okay if you can't do this, yet, Ari. Please, sweetie, don't push yourself-" She started saying, before I forced myself to relax.

I cleared my throat gently to cut off her words, turning my direction to her as confidently as I could. The dark lighting of the room probably helped me look a bit more convincing.

"No. I can do this. I can. I was just....a little surprised. Please. Please, mom. Please take me over to him. I-I just wanna talk to him. Just for a bit." I stated quietly, balling my fists together tighter as I locked my gaze back onto Keigo's lifeless figure.

I remained stick still as my mother hesitated, not moving from our spot just yet. But, after a few more moments of trying to make me sweat it, she wordlessly continued wheeling me right up to Keigo's bed side, the way I so desperately wanted.

Smiling dryly at my small victory, I lost the minuscule spark of contentment as quickly as it had come, now biting down on my lip to suppress any more sounds from fleeing out of my mouth when I finally came close enough to get a better look at his face.

The visible, unbandaged pieces of his skin looked so incredibly pale.

Being closer, I got to see his eyes now. Sure, they were closed; sleeping. But, I still got to see as much of them as I could.

And, also....

His wings were gone.

Not only was it easy to see this, just based on the fact that he didn't have two majestic vermillion gems peeking out from behind his back, but he was also propped up in the bed in a way that allowed me to see a bit of the bandages on his back; bandages that were nursing the open wounds of where his wings used to be.

"Oh, Keigo...." I whispered under my breath, grimacing in pity as I paid tribute to those beautiful wings I've come to love so much.

Keigo loves his wings. Sure, he doesn't love the caged life he had to live with them. But, the wings themselves? He loves them. He always tells me that flying is one of his favorite things in the world, because it makes him feel free. It's what he does to clear his head, to make himself happy.

He was attached to his wings, because they are wings that have been with him, ever since he's been a little boy. Even before the hero commission when he was growing up in the slums, his wings were always the beings he would turn to for comfort and protection.

His wings were apart of who he was. They were apart of his personality, as he would show a lot of his reactions through those feathers. When he wakes up, he will need to re-learn who he is without these wings.

I will help him. I'll always help him find his way back.

Opening my palm slowly, I carefully gripped Keigo's last feather between my fingers....gently turning his limp, bandaged hand up, before placing the feather atop it.

I smiled weakly at the sight of seeing Keigo's ruby red feather back where it truly belongs, gently gripping onto his wrist as I began trailing my eyes down his appearance with a little more focus.

Uncountable moments of silence passed while I held Keigo's wrist, hearing nothing but the faint sounds of the medical monitors beeping in the background.

After a few more heartbeats of time, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, recognizing the touch as my mother's.

"I'll be outside, so you can have some time with him." She whispered barely audible, placing a small kiss to the top of my head before I heard her footsteps retreat out of the room.

I stared at Keigo's face in lost, somber thought as I heard the soft, closing click of the door.

While my mother hadn't said anything once we'd entered Keigo's room together, the air had suddenly become impossibly more depressing now that it was just me alone with his sleeping body.

Maybe that's because Keigo has truly managed to steal a piece of my soul and take it with him to his forced slumber.

But, regardless of how I feel....I wanted to do this. I need to do this. Even if he can't hear me. Even if he'll never remember.

Even if....he never wakes up...

I need to do this, so that I can try to make my peace in any way that I can.

I couldn't help but chew nervously on my chapped lips for a few more moments, trying to think of how I should start this whole thing.

Only, as Keigo always says....I overthink everything. So, in honor of him, I'm going to take a different approach and not think about saying the perfect things to try and wake him up miraculously.

I'm just going to talk to him. I'm going to say the first things that come to mind. The things that come from my heart.

So, to start...

"Hi, Keigo." I uttered quietly, feeling a small smile graze my face at the mere mention of his name rolling off my tongue.

Keigo. It's a beautiful name. A name that he was conditioned to be ashamed of, and hide away forever.

I didn't get a response from him, and I didn't expect one as I gently caressed his bandaged wrist with my thumb, continuing a few moments later.

"Sorry I'm late. I...I woke up a few weeks ago, but no one would let me come and see you. They said it was because you were pretty scary looking, all bandaged up like this....but, I'm convinced it was because they knew we'd just simply run away together forever, the first moment we were left alone. I'm sure that's not untrue, either. Right?" I stated with a soft chuckle, slowly moving my touch from his wrist to caress the feather plumes that were resting in his hand.

Keigo's heart rate monitor remained at the same steady pace as I stroked his feather, showing that he had no signs of registering my presence.

That's alright. I'm just glad to be here.

"So, what do you think, Kei? You think we could run away together still?-eh, fuck it-I think we should have ran away together. Yeah, I do. You even said that we should have retired as soon as possible, and I was the one who didn't listen. I didn't listen, because I had some stupid savior complex and thought I could be an actual hero. And look what that cost me? It cost me everything. It cost me you.....but, I guess you and everything aren't so different, huh?" I asked rhetorically, immediately groaning as I registered how cliché my last sentence sounded.

I rolled my bloodshot eyes at Keigo's sleeping figure in weak amusement, feeling the blissful memories coming back with a bittersweet aftertaste.

"Wow. I really just basically called you my everything. It seems that all of your cheesy romance lines have finally rubbed off on me. Feel free to make fun of me any time, Keigo. Come on, I'll give you a free pass. I know you'd have a blast if you could have heard me say that." I smiled, taking the feather between my fingers, before gently gliding it up Keigo's arm.

However, my small smile slowly began to fall at my thoughts as regret sank full force into my fucked up head.

A small sigh of self frustration escaped my lips as I drooped my head slightly, letting my eyes fall closed for a moment as I thought about the beautiful what ifs

"So, how about it, Keigo? What do you think, should we have just ran away? Ran away from the hero commission together? We could have run away from Diane. Away from Dabi, never knowing he was Touya. You could still have your wings, and we could have settled down somewhere secret. Hell, maybe you'd even have accidentally knocked me up by now, with one of those non-refundable baby chicks-Plus, we would have missed the war. Sure, more people may have died, but....it's like what you told me the day of the war. The day we had that fight in my dorm room, and you restrained me to the wall....'I don't care about what happens to anyone else, I only care about what happens to you.' Remember? That's what you told me, and I feel the same way. I don't care about the war. I don't care that more people would have died, so long as you came out of this alright...." I explained, scrunching my brows together as I already felt a sour taste in my mouth upon even saying those words.

The wind from Keigo's cracked open window carefully swirled inside the room, caressing the ruby red feather bristles softy with the fresh morning air that he loved so much.

I hummed knowingly as I reflected on my incredibly selfish statement, shaking my head slightly as I forced myself to admit the truth that Keigo and I knew all too well.

"But, then again....we know that actions speak louder than words. We both know that we care too much about the well-being of others to just...walk away like that. I mean, look at the facts-I was willing to sacrifice my life for the sake of holding up that mansion, and you were willing to sacrifice our dreams of a nice future in order to save Tokoyami." I whispered, absentmindedly shrugging Keigo's blanket a bit higher up his chest to protect him from the incoming breeze.

As expected, all I got in response was the sound of his heart rate monitor and the eery, faint whirring of the machine that was helping him breathe.

But, I ignored it. Only able to focus on the small crack of faint sun that peeked in through the window and reflected on Keigo's tangled golden locks so beautifully.

"Yeah. Sammy told me what you did, after I forcibly separated our paths with the boulder. He told me how you finally stopped searching for me, just so that Tokoyami would leave the mansion and be saved. I know that couldn't have been easy for you, but....I just want you to know....how proud I am that you did that. I hope you're proud of yourself, too, because that action alone shows that your love is bigger than you think. Despite what you say about only caring for my well-being, despite you thinking how selfish you are....you just proved to yourself that you care for others, too. I know love and care are vulnerable things for you. I know how long it took you to admit that you loved me. That you cared for me. But, now you've proved to yourself that you are capable of being this man that you told me you always dreamed of being; This hero who has the power to save people and put them at ease. You saved Tokoyami's life. You saved Sammy's life. My life. And you saved so many lives throughout your own lifetime. You did that on your own, you did it all as Keigo, not because of some organization who trained you to be someone you never wanted to be."

I swallowed a bit thickly at my last sentence, feeling the traumatic flashbacks of Diane and the hero commission threatening to make themselves known in my head.

Even just thinking about these thoughts in the back of my mind, I suddenly felt my head start to spin and my heart start to race in fear.

"Shit...." I whispered shakily, involuntarily lurching forward to grip the edge of Keigo's bed and get my seated balance.

The red feather softly fell from my fingertips and onto the bed as I forced myself to suppress bad memories. And even though he wasn't even conscious, I quickly found Keigo's bandaged hand with my own, intertwining it loosely to keep myself grounded.

Upon feeling the familiar warmth of Keigo's hand, I felt the good memories flooding back to my mind. The memories of our time together. The memories of all the times he gave me a simple touch. A simple smile. A simple kiss.

My lip began to quiver softly as a sad laugh escaped my breath. Feeling myself relaxed once more, I slowly opened my eyes and looked up to see Keigo's sleeping face, squeezing his hand softly in my own.

"You....you did all of those good things, because of you, Keigo. Because that's who you are. Who you've always been. And I can't say that surprises me. No, it really doesn't. After all, I always knew my angel of the sky had to be someone amazing. He had to be someone kindhearted and good. He had to be.....the best hero in the entire world." I uttered quietly, feeling a bit like a child again as I simply said the truth I've realized since that very day it first happened.

"And, now I know.....that he is. He's all of those things, and more. My angel of the sky isn't just kind....he's completely selfless. He's not just amazing, he's extraordinary. He's not just the best hero in the entire world, but the best person that I know...." I started off, pressing my lips together as I gently squeezed Keigo's hand again in hopes that he'd feel it.

I slowly trailed my gaze away from his sleeping face, looking down at our intertwined hands before starting to gently play with his limp fingers to make myself an illusion that he was the one moving them.

"My angel of the sky is funny. He makes these jokes....that really aren't funny, heh, but the way he tells them....well, it makes them the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life. My angel of the sky is perceptive. He notices all the little things no one else would ever think to notice. The simple things, like what foods I prefer, or my favorite scarf to wear in the winter time. He notices the really little things, like when I'm upset, or feeling a bit cranky-oh, it's very hard to be petty and subtle around him, because he just cluelessly calls me out the moment he thinks something's off. Doesn't even give me time to give him that sassy silent treatment all the girls do." I laughed softly, shaking my head in slight amusement at the insignificant fights Keigo and I have had before.

One silly fight that I recall, was over the fact that he was chewing too loudly when I was trying to sleep. My dorm room is tiny, and he'd just gotten in from a late day of work and decided he wanted to eat extra crispy fried chicken, while simultaneously spooning me in bed. Yes, very romantic.

When I told him to 'either swallow it already, or shove it up your ass,' Keigo simply chuckled, saying how he knows I'm just 'dying to peg him. But, that's off limits tonight, Chicky. Too tired and hungry for that.' He then proceeded to crunch the chicken louder next to my ear and moan obnoxiously loud over the taste instead.

I would go back to that night a million times, if I could.

Feeling the darkened room lighten a bit as I talked about my angel of the sky, I couldn't stop myself as I continued reminiscing about what it feels like to finally meet the savior behind all those years of wondering.

"My angel of the sky....he tends to get shy. Sure, he'll always try to hide it. He'll always try to pretend that he can't be flustered, but I know that a simple look or cheeky sentence can send him steaming with embarrassment. He loves the simple things; rainy days and cherry blossoms. My angel of the sky loves to stay in and enjoy a good movie he doesn't even care about, because it means he finally gets to relax and let his guard down..." I nodded, watching Keigo's feather roll against my wrist now when I gently shifted the mattress.

I sniffled softy to clear any tears that wanted to come out, grabbing Keigo's limp feather in my hands before carefully lifting it to my lips.

"And he loves to be loved. It took him awhile to figure that one out and admit it to himself, but it's true. He loves to be complimented-genuinely complimented on something I enjoy about him, though that list is endless. He loves to be held in my arms after a long day, talking nonsense and planning far fetched dreams, before drifting off to a much needed sleep...." I started off, closing my eyes as I gently kissed the feather.

A soft breath out from my nostrils caused the feather to sway a bit. I needed to remind myself that it only moved because of my own actions.

"My angel of the sky loves to be kissed. He loves to be touched. And he loves to be as close as physically possible. He especially loves to take baths together, something he only discovered fairly recent, when his bathtub-spooning-virginity had been broken." I smirked weakly, lowering the feather down onto Keigo's torso now to let it rest near his own beating heart.

"I guess what I'm trying to say...is that my angel of the sky is better than any fantasy I could have ever expected. He's better than I first remembered him, and he's better than any superhero image anyone could ever try to replicate. He's better...." I trailed off towards the end as I felt the lump forming in my throat now, yet I forced myself to press on as I continued to speak from my heart.

"H-He's better...b-because he's you, Keigo. My angel of the sky is you, and that is better than any fantasy or image I could have ever imagined. Because, even before I knew that you were my angel of the sky, you were still the one I always felt the safest around. You were the one I always trusted. The one I always knew would protect me, and put me at ease. And, deep down, I must have always known it was you, because I always saw you as my hero, Keigo. Not Hawks, not even the illusion that I painted this unknown mystery of the 'angel of the sky,' to be. It was you, before I even knew. And I'll always see you that way. As this shining light, who can put everyone at ease, just the way you always dreamed. I see it. I see it truly and honestly, just the way you always hoped somebody would. I guess....you could say I'm a fan, right?" I chuckled softly, ignoring the faint tears that slipped past my lids as I spoke.

I opened my mouth to continue, unable to get any words out as a silent breath of pain filled my airspace instead.

My face wanted to scrunch up in pain. My body wanted to collapse from the heartbreak. My lungs wanted to stop breathing for the possibilities of Keigo's own last breath.

But, all I could do was continue gripping his hand in my shaky one, letting my incredibly soft sobs fill the room and mix with the background noise of Keigo's monitors.

I did my best to keep my sounds quiet, knowing that if I became too vocal and distressed with my cries, I'd be taken away from him.

So, I let my face scrunch up in pure and utter agony, ignoring the sore pain it caused my broken nose as I slapped a hand over my mouth to swallow my cries.

Of course, Keigo's face remained lifeless and tired...continuing to sleep himself further and further away from the light that tried to pull him back.

"Why....why didn't you tell me, Kei? Huh? Why didn't you tell me it was you? W-Why didn't I figure it out. Oh, how I wish I just could have known." I cried out a bit louder, but still soft enough to remain unheard.

I felt my shoulders starting to tremble and wrack a bit at my pondering thoughts of regret, shaking my head softly in frustration.

"I....I....I didn't appreciate you enough, did I? That's why you kept it from me, right? I didn't deserve you, huh? Oh, Keigo. Did you feel loved by me? Did you feel appreciated? Cause I appreciate you so much. I-I appreciate you. I-I'm so sorry. I-I'm so sorry if you felt like you couldn't tell me the truth. I'm so sorry if I didn't make you feel like you were enough. B-But, if you come back....I-I promise I'll make sure you know. I promise, I'll make sure you know how you were more than enough. How you were better than any 'angel of the sky' I could have ever dreamed of...."

"I-I just need you to wake up, so I can tell you. Please, Keigo. Please wake up, so I can tell you how much you mean to me. How important you are. Please wake up, so I can tell you that I can't live without you. That you literally have a piece of my heart that no one else can ever have, a piece that I don't want anyone else to ever have. Please wake up, so we can have that future we always dreamed of, the future where we can wake up together, happy and healthy. Where we can spend time together and laugh. Where we can talk about anything and everything and have a blast, just simply enjoying each other's company...."

"The future where we can have children, a-and go see the family for all those big holidays you said you never got to experience. You can celebrate your birthday for the very first time. My mom loves to go all out for birthdays-she would make it so special for you. The future where you can experience it all, Keigo. All the dreams you always wanted. All the dreams you never thought possible, but they are. Do you hear me? They are possible! You can do them! You can do anything you want!! Y-You just gotta wake up, baby..." I pleaded in devastation, my voice coming out muffled from my own tears and cries.

And, as expected I was met with lifeless silence-the silence of the beeping machine that was keeping Keigo on the cusp of life.

The sound of it made me happy to know that he was still living, but sad to know that he was also so dead at the same time.

My heart was already broken to pieces, but so was my soul. So was my spirit. So was my hope.

"K...Keigo....Keigo...please..." I sobbed softly, watching my hot tears fall onto his bandaged hand, before carefully lifting up his limp arm in our intertwined hold.

I whimpered quietly as I pressed his hand to my forehead, unable to stop my tears from falling as I pathetically used my fingers to move his limp ones across my face to brush them away.

As if he was the one grazing my cheek like this.

"I-I just wanna know...." I cried out softly, desperately stroking his limp hand across my tear stained cheek, before gently moving it down to my lips.

"I-I just wanna know if you can feel me. If you can hear me. I-I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I'm here for you. I will always be here for you. I will always be in your corner, supporting you every step of the way...." I hiccuped through my sobs, shakily pressing my lips to Keigo's fingers as my tears flowed from my closed eyes.

"You deserve to be happy and to have it all. You deserve to make your own choices and live freely the way you always wanted."

Upon speaking the words, I slowly opened my eyes...gently lowering Keigo's arm back down to rest on his bed.

His feather had managed to accidentally slide off his torso and land near my hand that was still resting on his bed, so I picked it up once more...deciding to hold onto it now, to make sure I didn't lose it.

The clock on the wall ahead mocked me with its time. Five minutes left was all I had, before it would be time for me to head back.

I spent a few of those seconds trying to compose myself and wipe away the remainder of my tears, wanting to look as put together as possible when the doctor came in, in hopes that she'd let me come back here soon.

Silence continued to pass as Keigo remained strayed from the light...and me, left alone with my loud thoughts.

Once I'd managed to compose myself as best as I could, which honestly wasn't much....I sniffled softly before grabbing Keigo's hand again...shifting my somber eyes back up to his lifeless face.

As much as the sight tore me apart, the last thing I ever wanted to do was leave this room. But, I knew that I would have to. And, because I knew that...I didn't want to regret anything else. I didn't want to regret my last words to Keigo, thinking that he didn't know everything I was thinking.

So, with the only things left on my heavy mind...

"I just want you to know......that I love you, Keigo. I love you, and you deserve to be loved. I love you, and I always will, no matter what happens. I will love you until the end of time. I will think about you always. And I will always remember how it felt to cherish my angel of the sky. But, more than that, I will remember more how it felt to love you, Keigo Takami, because over everything....that feeling is the best thing I have, and ever will, experience. Thank you for giving me that honor...." I stated clearly, gripping onto Keigo's limp arm again as the room suddenly felt darker than before.

"I want you awake, Kei. With every piece of myself, I want you living in this time with me, more than anything in my life. But...if for some reason........y-you just find yourself unable to come back.....j-just k-know....that whatever you decide here, my love for you will never change. N-Nothing can ever change it, Keigo. Nothing."

I stared in sad content as I finished my last words, feeling a weight, simultaneously lifted off my shoulders, and also placed upon them as I let him know that it's okay to let go. I mean, it's not okay. It will wreck me to shreds. But, I'm not in Keigo's space, right now. I don't know how bad his physical and mental suffering is. And if his body and his spirit deem that the life he'd come back to would be too filled with agonizing torture and suffering, then I'd rather he let go and be at peace. True, eternal peace.

A sacrifice. A beauty in the sacrifice, Keigo. I am willing to let you go, if that is what will make you find peace. I'm returning the favor for you. It's funny how things come full circle, I guess.

It's in your hands now. It's your choice now. I want you with me selfishly, but whatever your fate and body choose, I know it will choose what path is best for you, whatever that may be.

"I'll see you soon, Kei. No matter what choice you decide, I'll see you soon." I whispered inaudibly, slowly lowering my head to accepting silence as I held onto his arm tightly.

And I spent these last few moments of time I had with Keigo in silence. A silence that was good. A silence that was pure. Bittersweet in taste. Drowning in feeling....

But, filled with an acceptance of pure love that had the power to fly high and free all on its own.

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Next Chapter Title: Explanations