Top pic credit: unknown. Tell me if you know

"How does it feel? Knowing that, as of now, you're nothing more than a traitor?"

"I bet Sam would be terrified."

"Await further instructions from me. Understand?"

My conversation with Dabi has been playing in my head on a loop, the entire time I've walked back to my dorm.

His voice. His words. His threats. I couldn't get them out of my head. I've been so blank, so lost in thought, I didn't even realize I'd already come face to face with my dorm room door.

Wow. I don't even remember the walk home. Clearly, this entire situation is taking over my mind.

I tiredly unlocked the door to my room, more than ready for sleep.

It was probably around 2 in the morning now. Not only was I exhausted from that damn celebration ceremony today, but I was also completely deflated from my meeting with Dabi. I don't know what to do, and frankly, I feel a little hopeless.

I cursed my mind for wandering back even further into my memories. Dabi's voice played in my head like a broken record, reminding me of my kidnapping. Reminding me of traumatic pieces I didn't even realize my brain held onto.

"Oh? I'm enjoying this new found anger, Hourglass. If you already have a dark side I didn't know about, you'll be an even stronger nomu than I thought."

Gross.

"You're here to die for me."

Oh yeah? Tell me something I don't know. I don't care, Dabi. Get out of my head.

I haven't really thought about what went down this weekend. I haven't thought about the situation I was in. Or the effects. I haven't really had the time to.

I was too distracted by the initial shock of it all, and Keigo's identity, to really process the danger I was in...until now, apparently.

I furrowed my brows as a cold sweat suddenly began forming on my neck, causing me to adjust my collar uncomfortably.

Keigo's villain voice from this weekend began haunting my mind now...memories of the man I love acting like a total stranger.

"You really want to kill your next high end Nomu when you're this close to getting her there?" He stated darkly.

"What's it matter to you, bird? Dead is dead. Either way, she's going to die." Dabi spat out.

He was really going to kill me, huh. And I just met with him again tonight. Alone.

He could have killed me tonight. I could have died.

Wow.

And I'm supposed to see him again?

Closing my door shut behind me, I blindly walked around in my pitch black room, stumbling around to find my lamp.

My heart began pounding without warning now, causing me to groan lightly in annoyance, as I realized what was happening.

Now is no time to be panicking. I need all of my wits. For me. For Keigo. For my family. No second guessing myself.

If I'm gonna panic, I'll panic when this is all over and completed. I'll panic in the safe arms of my family. In the safe arms of Keigo.

I will not panic now.

I grit my teeth together as my breaths started becoming a little shorter.

Alright, I'm getting a little overwhelmed. I need to calm down, before I have a-

"Careful little dove, or you might get yourself burned-"

Just relax, Ari-

"I want the world, Ari Parker. And you're the one who's going to give it to me-"

I jumped in tense panic when I suddenly felt someone grab my wrist and gently wrap their arms around me from behind.

"Ah, finally you're back. Where have you been? I've been calling you and looking everywhere for you. You've had me worried sick-"

Not registering anything other than the image of Dabi's dumb ass grin in my head, I began instinctively thrashing around in the person's arms.

"G-GET OFF ME!!! GET OFF! PLEASE! GET AWAY!!" I yelled out anxiously, roughly trying to push the person backwards-

"Huh?! Woah-hey! HEY!! It's just me! Ari! It's me! It's Keigo!" He replied back in shock, immediately stepping away from me to give me room to breathe.

The lamp suddenly turned on, yet Keigo's feet remained in his spot next to me. He must have used a feather to do so.

Fuck.

Only now realizing my heart was beating way too hard out of my chest from the scare Keigo just gave me, I quickly hunched over to rest my hands on my knees.

My breaths became restricted by nothing, as I suddenly felt myself struggling to even get air into my lungs.

Oh c'mon. Not now.

Calm down, Ari. No one likes a drama queen. Relax.

Relax-

Fuck. I'm spiraling. I'm spiraling. Stop it, Ari-

I gasped lightly from my elevated senses when I felt a careful, warm hand on my back now...forcing my brain to remind itself that it's just Keigo.

He had appeared next to me in a second, gently rubbing my back for a moment to get me used to his touch.

Once my body had relaxed slightly, Keigo very slowly wrapped his arms around my torso.

"I'm here. I'm here. You're okay, chicky. Stand up. C'mon, stand up." He said softly, holding me in place for a moment to help me get my bearings.

I forced myself to calm down before my anxiety got the better of me. I wasn't too far gone yet to where I couldn't stop it.

I tried to simply start speaking to Keigo, trying to tell him I was fine...but all that came out of my mouth was an incoherent frustrated groan.

Keigo's arms loosened from around my body slightly at my sound, keeping a fragile hold on me.

"I know. Don't force yourself." He whispered sweetly, patiently holding my hunched over body in the middle of my room.

I grit my teeth in annoyance with myself, more than anything. I could hear Diane's voice now, playing in my head like a broken record.

After all, any time I had these panic attacks as a child, Diane was the only one around. And I'm sure you can imagine she wasn't so kind and understanding about them.

No. She conditioned me to stop them. To get over it.

So I will.

Get over it, Ari. It's not that bad.

Using the tactics the hero commission drilled into me as a child, I forced my body to begin slowing my heart rate down, before I had a full on break down that I couldn't be able to control.

"Hey now. You're okay, Ari. Everything's okay. You're safe here." Keigo's voice whispered soothingly, gently forcing my hunched over body to stand up straight in an attempt to get more oxygen to my lungs.

I let him drag me up, taking slow deep breaths as the overwhelming sense of fear and panic began to slowly dissipate.

There we go. See? I'm okay.

Thank goodness. I stopped it before it really started.

Trying to let Keigo know I was somewhat okay, I forced myself to speak before I was really ready.

"Sorry....you just.....you....scared me." I uttered out breathlessly, feeling one of his strong wings sweep my feet off the floor.

His other wing curled under my frame too, holding me up bridal style against his chest.

He held me in his wings with his pillow soft feathers wrapped around my entire body. The pressure of his wings encasing me only aided in my attempts to calm my overstimulated senses.

Wow. So soft. So warm.

Keigo's gentle eyes were locked on me in concern, using his free hands to carefully caress my face as he walked us over to the bed.

"I can see that, chicky. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He whispered softly, slowly sitting at the foot of my bed as he cradled me in his arms.

I sighed tiredly, forcing my body to rid itself of any leftover anxiety inside my system.

Keigo continued his soft caresses on my face, slowly repeating the motion of trailing his fingers from my cheek, all the way to comb through my hair.

"Better?" He uttered, curling his wings in a way that would press my body closer to his.

My eyes closed calmly now, feeling the warmth of his presence envelope my entire being.

"Better." I replied, feeling the lingering remembrance of my conversation with Dabi sitting at the back of my mind now, instead of the front.

Keigo hummed softly in acknowledgement, patiently waiting for me to continue speaking. He obviously knew something was on my mind. I couldn't have made it more obvious.

I didn't realize a large amount of time had passed from my lack of response, until Keigo's smooth voice broke the silence.

"Hm. Well....sure seems like you're better." He teased softly, clearly indicating that my silence betrayed my answer of well being.

I groaned dreadfully, hating the fact that I was about to break the peaceful air between us with my next words.

But, honesty is most important. And Keigo needs to know.

But, I was so comfy in his wings! I felt like a chicken baby.....and, yeah, it was pretty great.

Tapping his shoulder gently to let him know I wanted to stand up, he reluctantly released me from his arms and his wings.

I felt his eyes following me, as I paced the room, before I finally turned to him.

Well, here goes nothing. Goodbye, peace. Nice knowing ya!

"So.....um.....yeah.....I was with Dabi just now." I blurted out, trying to be as casual as possible about the ordeal so he didn't freak out.

But, as expected, I watched the peacefulness in his eyes quickly replace with shocked panic.

"You-what??! No!! Why??" He asked, abruptly standing up from the bed.

Well, at least we had a cute moment for like five seconds. Right?

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling myself becoming stressed again. Of course I was expecting him to react this way, but normally, there's at least one calm, rational person between the two of us...and just with that single sentence he practically yelled out, I could sense there was now anxiety consuming both of us.

Guess Dabi just has that effect on us. Like Diane.

"Well-I....he threatened me-actually, he threatened my family-"

"He did what?!?" Keigo asked in more shock than before.

I shot him a light glare of irritation at the fact that he kept interrupting me. But, he didn't seem to care.

"Well, birdie, if you'd let me finish a sentence, then maybe you'd actually understand what's going-"

"Ari, why didn't you tell me?! W-Why did you go alone?! Why did you go at all?!-oh my god, did he hurt you? Did he do something to you?" Keigo breathed out shakily, his eyes wide with fear as he began rapidly assessing the injury state of my body, as if I've suddenly become mangled and destroyed at the new knowledge that I was with Dabi.

My mind flashed back to the real kicker of the night, when Dabi almost choked me out and burned my throat to bits.

I mean....yeah. That kinda hurt. But...

Sure, honesty is the best policy. And I could tell Keigo the truth about that. But, telling him won't do anything but make him more distressed. So, what's the point?

"No, Keigs. Dabi didn't hurt me. I'm fine. It's not like I wanted to go by myself. I wanted to call you, but....he was....he was watching me." I muttered in lost thought, trying to remember the events of the night.

Keigo began muttering profanities under his breath at my statement, rubbing his face and pacing the room now like a mad man.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Again. Ah, he's done it again. Gone right under my nose, and went straight for you. God, I was stupid to think he'd actually follow the rules." Keigo growled out quietly, the sudden anger in his voice surprising me.

Even if the pressure of this job gets to him sometimes, he's not usually one to get angry-let alone, lose his temper so quickly. He's normally more patient than this.

I remained quiet, simultaneously studying his growing fury, while pondering my night with Dabi.

"Bastard. He's a fucking bastard. He was never supposed to make contact with you, chicky. That was the deal. Information was supposed to be relayed through me only-oh, what a god damn liar he is. Never listening to a word I say. I'm gettin' sick of it." Keigo grumbled lowly, more to himself, as he practically ripped his phone out of his pocket.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as he began scrolling for something on his phone.

"Looking into somethin.' You see, I called Dabi a little while ago, per routine of our daily check in. He told me he got some major intel tonight on a very reliable source. Said he was planning on squeezing every bit of information out of them until they-until they.......until they....break. I-I'm trying to check the time stamp of the call, and see if it adds up with your meeting time. I just wanna make sure...he wasn't talking about you." Keigo mumbled, furrowing his brows together in a combination of dread and focus.

Not wanting to torture him with the unknown, I decided to quickly put him out of his misery.

"You called at the tail end of our meeting, Keigo." I stated plainly, watching his eyes close in frustration.

"Fuck. It was about you." He immediately groaned out, gritting his teeth stressfully.

It was quiet for a moment, before his eyes quickly snapped open with another, apparently pressing, thought.

"Damn it. Y-Your family. Are they okay?" He uttered out quietly, the fear of the unknown once again present in his voice.

"For now. So long as I don't piss him off-and you. You can't piss him off either, Keigo. Look, I don't mean to put more pressure on you. I really don't, but this can't go unsaid. Dabi made it very clear that if you upset him, he'll still murder my family for it." I replied weakly, feeling bile welling up in the back of my throat at the horrific thought.

Any traces of anger in Keigo's eyes immediately dissipated at my words, as he also took in the harsh reality of the situation.

"Damn it." He whispered out, running both hands through his hair in stress.

"I know." I breathed out, plopping back down to sit at the edge of my bed.

More flashes of my family ran through my mind. Dabi's dark, evil words, concerning their whereabouts played through my head on a loop.

Where do I go from here? Who can I talk to about this? When will Dabi contact me again? What will he have me do? Will he eventually kill my family? He will if I don't tell him everything he wants to know about UA. Guess I really will be a traitor. What if he forces me to become a villain? Should I just convert to villainy, in an attempt to get him to spare everyone? I mean, sure, I'd be a villain, but at least the people I love would be safe. It'd be for the greater good-

"No. Stop it. Stop. You're not that person. Come back to me, Ari. Come back..." Keigo whispered into my ear, his voice suddenly pulling me out of my downward spiral of thoughts.

I was so lost in my own world, I didn't even realize he'd sat next to me on the bed.

It seems he read me well enough to already know the dark thoughts that had begun to consume my mind. He had quickly brought me back to reality before I really had time to dwell on them.

His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest for a hug.

I didn't realize my muscles had been tensed until I felt them relaxing into Keigo's arms, feeling my eyes close as I weakly wrapped my arms around his waist.

He let out a deep breath, his own body melting against mine. His wings were relaxed, not at all twitching anxiously the way they always do.

"I know what you're thinking, little dove. I can tell by that dark, hopeless look that's in those beautiful eyes of yours. I know it, because it's the same look I've been wearing for the last seven months. Ah, Ari. I don't like seeing it on you. Please stop..." He whispered into my hair, hugging me tighter as if I'd suddenly disappear in the next second.

I remained silent. There wasn't much for me to say at the moment. I couldn't deny it.

I simply hugged him tighter, feeling him reciprocate by draping his wings over my head comfortingly.

"Whatever's going through your mind, don't go down that path. Don't get caught up in the darkness of it all, because it's very easy to. It's easier to submit to it and let it control you, than it is to fight it and keep sight of yourself. Trust me when I tell you....once you're in that darkness...it's very, very hard to break free from it." He stated gently, making me reflect on all the times I've seen that very same darkness in his own eyes. In his presence.

I know he's right. He's experiencing this, too. He's been doing it for much longer than I have.

"I just......I don't know what to do..." I breathed out, my sense of unease completely masked by the feeling of Keigo's wings slowly running across my head.

"We'll figure it out together, chicky. I'll never let your family get hurt. You're not alone. I'll never let you be alone. Tonight, I wasn't prepared. I wasn't with you. I'm so sorry. This entire situation is my doing, and I let you go through it alone. But, I promise you....from now on....I will never let you be alone in this again. I promise you that the next time Dabi calls for you, no matter where I am...I'll be there, too. I'll be right behind him, protecting you. I won't....I won't let him...take your good." Keigo whispered, making my heart flutter at his last words.

That's what I always say to him.

I hummed softly against his chest, feeling my worries melting away. For now, anyways.

"And I won't let them take your good." I whispered, feeling like Keigo and I were having a precious, intimate moment-

"No, no, no. I won't let them take your good." He lightly teased, purposely trying to make this as cheesy as he could now.

I laughed softly at his attempt to lighten the mood, feeling it working a little.

"Why are you always so cheesy. I was trying to be romantic, y'know." I mumbled against his chest, feeling him starting to lay back on the bed.

He dragged me down with him, causing me to land on his chest.

"And I was trying to be romantic tonight by secretly coming through your window, while you were sleeping. Call me Romeo, Juliet." Keigo smirked, knowing full well that something that mushy and ridiculous would cause me to groan.

And it did.

"Oh my god. You've just reached a new level of cheesy-And when you put it like that, you sound more like a stalker who's trying to kill me." I laughed, causing him to lightly roll his eyes.

"Okay, smartass. Very funny. All joking aside though....it's gonna have to be like this for little bit, love dove. Extra secretive, I mean." Keigo sighed, turning his head down to look at me.

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean, I'll need to be a little more careful now when I come to see you. As of today, I'm being watched more closely." He mumbled unenthusiastically, pursing his lips in disapproval for the situation.

That's right. Keigo had a meeting with Diane today. With the craziness of Dabi, I completely forgot.

"What did she say now?" I groaned out, already knowing Diane had something to do with it.

"Mm, nothing you'll like. Now, I'm required to give her a status report on my infiltration mission, every two days. She's requested sporadic meetings in my apartment, at least three times a week....probably to make sure you're not there. And....I don't know...it was weird. She kept...asking me about Jeanist." He explained, tracing circles on my back with his fingertips.

I furrowed my brows in confusion at the last part of his sentence, wondering why Diane would be asking such a thing.

"Best Jeanist? What did she say about him?" I asked curiously, looking out my open window to the bright, milky moon.

"Heh, well, ignoring the fact that she told me this conversation was confidential...she just asked me how close Jeanist and I are, and stuff like that. Asked me what I think about him comin' out of retirement. How I think he'll hold up in the hero world, with one lung. She acts as if he's signed a death sentence with his injury, but I know he'll be alright. He's Jeanist." Keigo explained, looking up at the ceiling peacefully.

It was clear to see that he was currently indulging in the pleasure of actually getting to tell me about his day, like a normal person. It didn't even matter to him that what he was saying involved Diane. He just looked happy to tell me. He looked happy that he didn't have to hold anything back, and that he could just be himself.

Which is perfect, because there's another question that's been on my mind all day.

"Hey...back at the celebration ceremony..." I started off, lazily hooking my leg over Keigo's waist.

Even though I'm positive he knew what I was going to say, he waited patiently for me to continue, sliding one of his hands from my back to rest on my thigh.

"What was all that about with Diane? You didn't tell her I knew about your infiltration mission. Why? Do you not trust her?" I uttered softly, hearing him let out a sigh to detox himself at the sound of her name.

He was quiet for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Honestly...I don't know why I said that today. I dunno why I chose to lie about that. It was...it was weird, Ari. It's like, my mouth just spoke the words, before I could think about them. My feathers ruffled up in defense mode, right before I spoke. It's like...my gut was telling me to keep it a secret. Does that make sense? Ah, probably not." He mumbled lost in thought, continuing to trace absentminded circles on my body. He almost sounded....confused with himself.

I furrowed my brows in concentration, taking in the words as he said them.

I have to say, I'm a little surprised. Keigo, being raised the way he was, was groomed to rely strictly on technicalities, and commands of others.

He isn't normally one to listen to his own gut feelings, and I have no doubt, that this is where his confusion is stemming from. Making his own decisions. His own choices. Becoming his own person.

My pondering silence gave him the time he needed to overthink his words. To overthink this new, awakened part of him that wanted to experience the act of voicing his own opinions.

He's not used to reflecting on his own beliefs, or how he feels about something. He's quickly becoming insecure about it now, activating his instinctive need to devalue his own feelings.

"Y'know, it's not like I'm trying to betray her, or the commission for that matter, by keeping this part of it a secret. Yeah, she's horrible. But, she's also the one who gave me this mission. She's been with me since I've been six. Sure, she'd be mad. Furious, even. But, it's not like I think she'd do anything malicious if she found out you knew what I was doing, I just....I, agh, I don't know. I dunno what I'm saying. What's happening to me." Keigo sighed out softly, crinkling his eyes together slightly in frustration with himself.

I couldn't help the soft smile that ghosted my face, as he tried so hard to experience his own thoughts. He was confused. But, he was trying.

"Hey, don't overthink it so much, Keigo. It makes sense. You don't need to justify your reason, or feel bad, for following your gut. Listen to your natural instincts. To your heart. If something didn't feel right about telling Diane, then so be it. I support you either way. I won't chirp a word." I smiled, watching his golden eyes immediately trail down to my face upon hearing me use his lingo.

He looked at me softly, his lips curling up into a small smile as a peaceful look spread across his face once more.

A look I could get so used to seeing every day of my life.

"You won't chirp a word, huh? What are you, a bird now?" He teased lightly, gently pulling my body higher up his own so our faces were closer together.

"Oh, please. Since when were you the only one who could use bird jokes? Last time I checked, you don't own the bird language." I countered, causing a small chuckle to escape his lips.

"That ain't bird language, darling. That's something I know you wouldn't understand." He challenged, wrapping his wings around our heads to create an even more intimate space between us.

"Try me."

Keigo was quiet at my demand, pursing his lips as he thought about what to say.

My mouth fell open in a mixture of surprise and pure amusement as a light vibration bird noise chirped out of Keigo's mouth.

"Did you just coo?!" I giggled, seeing his bright white smile glowing in this dark, feathered space.

"Mm. To you, it may have been a coo. But to me, and all the pigeons outside....I basically poured my heart out to you." He smirked, gently running one of his hands through my hair now.

"Oh yeah? What did you say? I love you?" I retorted in amusement, raising a playful brow.

Keigo's smirk turned into a soft smile, as he gently met my gaze.

"Close." He whispered, suddenly turning serious and intimate as he leaned closer to my face.

I looked at him in question, suddenly becoming curious about what it was he actually said.

"I called you........my hoe." He whispered in fake passion, before breaking into laughter at the last word.

I groaned in annoyance, rolling my eyes and lightly hitting his chest.

"You're a child." I retorted, fighting the smile that threatened to make its way onto my face.

Keigo's laughter only got louder now, as he pulled me into him, burying his face in my neck.

"I'm kidding. You know I adore you, Ari. You're not a hoe. Farthest thing from one. Mm, but you are mine." Keigo drawled out into my neck, before I felt his lips come into contact with my skin.

I rolled my eyes when his kisses started becoming more heated against my neck, causing me to break free from his grasp and roll into the empty bed spot next to him.

"Slow your roll there, dirty bird. It's almost three in the morning, and we have work in four hours. I'd like to get some type of sleep before I'm needed in your office, if you don't mind." I countered lightly, climbing under the covers and rolling on my side so my back faced him.

Keigo groaned softly in sexual frustration as he climbed under the covers, spooning me in his arms as he settled down for bed.

"Hey, chicky....forgetting everything that's on our mind...and all joking aside....I could really get used to this. Holding you like this every night." He stated softly, pulling my back tighter against his chest.

My eyes were already closed and I was already half asleep, but even so, I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face at his words, feeling content and happy in this brief moment in time.

"Me too, Keigo. I love y-"

RING! RING!

Keigo's relaxed, peaceful body immediately tensed at the sound of his phone ringing on the bed side table next to me.

Incoming call from: Diane H.

I sighed softly, feeling his body wordlessly reach over mine to grab the phone, expecting him to answer it.

My eyes opened halfway in surprise when instead, the ringing suddenly ceased, signaling he had ignored the call.

I watched as one of Keigo's feathers floated his phone far away from our bed space, over to my desk on the other side of the room.

Without a word, he wrapped his arms around my figure again, snuggling against me as his body began to relax once more.

"Keigo....it's okay if you need to answer it-"

"I don't want to answer it. I want to lay with you." He whispered genuinely, draping his wing across my body as he geared down for sleep.

"Okay." I uttered tiredly, the warmth and softness of Keigo's wings putting me right to sleep.

"Oh. And I love you too, just in case you didn't know." He breathed out, fully committing to the choice to neglect his double agent mission and succumb to sleep with me instead.