Top pic credit: unknown

Keigo POV: Flashback from three days ago (part 2/3)

Warning: slight gore in this chapter.

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"So.....you couldn't do it." Diane stated quietly, her monotone voice coming out low and threatening in the private confines of her home.

She had her back turned to me, leaning over her desk in a mix of defeat...disappointment....and probably a hell of a lot of anger at the fact that I didn't kill Jeanist.

I simply stood there with my hands behind my back, ready to take whatever punishment I'd be given.

Sure, it's not as if I wanted to come back to Diane's house and explain how I disobeyed her direct order to kill Best Jeanist tonight.

But, judging by the way my infiltration mission is slowly starting to escalate to a new danger level as time goes on, it's best that I stay open about what's happening on my end, so I can keep everyone safe.

"Nope. Didn't kill him. Instead, I've forced him into a safe house, where he can wait out his time until this infiltration mission comes to an end." I explained firmly, closing my eyes tiredly as I desperately wished this day would end.

I'm still pretty exhausted from the chaotic meltdown I had at Jeanist's place.

"Which safe house did you put him in?" Diane immediately asked, running a ragged hand through her hair in anger.

Nice try, Diane. Like I'd tell you. You'd probably go kill him, before I even had the chance to blink again.

"A safe one. I put him in one of the thousands of safe houses we have across the country. It seems to have suddenly slipped my mind as to the exact house he's in. I apologize, boss." I countered casually, shrugging my shoulders carelessly as I waited for her anger to explode in my face.

Keeping her back to me, Diane let out a dry, very bitter chuckle at my words. It's almost as if she found this whole thing funny.

But, I knew better to know that she's only laughing because she's just really fucking pissed.

"Is that so? Keigo Takami, the nosiest, most stubborn man alive, forgetting something? And to that magnitude? Thought you were supposed to be a better liar than that, double agent." She spat out threateningly, clawing her manicured fingernails into the cherry oak of her desk.

I raised my brows in slight surprise at her actions, noticing how she wasn't her usual, put together self.

Normally, Diane is very good about controlling her anger-on the outside, anyways. She rarely lashes out, using words and manipulation tactics as her fumes instead....and the occasional (common) smack to the face. But, even when she uses physical abuse, she's almost always put together.

Shifting uncomfortably on my feet, I took a calming deep breath...preparing myself to speak.

I've already made my choice. I've disobeyed direct orders and spared the life of Best Jeanist. Now I need to accept the consequences that come with it. There's no going back.

I opened my mouth to ask Diane how I should proceed, before she beat me to the talk.

And her words definitely caught me off guard.

"Well....congratulations, Keigo. You've made your own choice. How very noble of you, hero." She seethed out mockingly, before her fingers reached for the television remote on her desk, a few feet away.

I furrowed my brows in wary hesitation...already knowing her words were very much less than genuine, but not really knowing how to react.

So, instead....

"Really...? Cause you don't sound very thrilled about it." I muttered quietly, watching her turn on the television in the corner of the room.

"I think you'll see why in a minute." She explained calmly, gesturing for me to take a look at the tv.

I slowly turned my attention to the screen-my eyes bugging out three times their size in shock when I caught sight of what was going on.

BREAKING NEWS: VILLAINS AND CONSPIRATORS TERRORIZE THE INNOCENT CIVILIANS OF DEIKA CITY.

• COUNTLESS PEOPLE DEAD.
•MANY MORE INJURED.
• IF YOU HAVE ANY NEWS ON THE MISSING, PLEASE CALL THE CRISIS HOTLINE ASAP.
•DESPERATE CITIZENS TRY TO FIGHT BACK AND PROTECT THEMSELVES.

HEROES, WHERE ARE YOU?

My jaw had dropped slack to the floor as I watched the footage-incredibly gruesome footage of the fight against the civilians of Deika city and the villains.

There were many villains I didn't recognize. Clearly, they weren't members of the league.

However, residual blue flames were barely caught in the news camera frames....burning everything and everyone in their path to let me know that Dabi had, indeed, been there, even if he'd tried to hide it, somehow.

Destroyed buildings. Streets in ruins. Corpses littering the streets.

"I-I...." I started off in shock, feeling my breath catching in my throat at all of the horrible damage that was done to this poor place. This poor, innocent place that never asked for any of this.

Diane simply remained silent, watching the destruction footage with blank, yet furious eyes.

Seeing an injured child limping around on the street as he cried for his mother was the image that brought me back to reality, as I sucked in a harsh breath-already turning on my heel to walk out the door.

"Oh, now you wanna play savior, you worthless piece of trash? Where the hell are you going?" Diane called out in anger, yet I didn't stop my walk.

"I'm going to Deika. Fight's obviously still going on. You saw that headline. They need a hero there, and I wanna help. I'll blow my cover with Dabi and-"

"Keigo, this footage is from three hours ago. The fight is over. The people are dead. All of the damage is done.....and it's on your hands." She spat out, causing me to immediately stop in my tracks.

I didn't even have time to fully process her words, yet Diane's statement still hit me like a Mac truck. I immediately, and fully, believed it, before she even had a chance to explain her logic behind that blame.

I felt an enormous amount of guilt wash over my heart, physically feeling a certain amount of strength leave my body.

Not turning around to face her, I simply directed my blank gaze to the floor....waiting for her to tear me apart.

Only now...

I wanted her to tear me apart.

Whatever she's going to say....if this was truly my fault, somehow...

Then, I deserve to feel every ounce of blame and pain she's about to throw at me.

"I tried to call you, Hawks. I'm sure you saw my missed calls. Am I wrong?" Diane asked, the furious and loud tone of her voice now fizzling down into something more quiet and full of begrudging defeat.

Keeping my back to her, I felt my eyes drop closed at her words as I already knew the answer.

Yes. She called me four hours ago. I know. I saw it. But-

"But, you ignored it. You ignored my call for help. You ignored Deika's call for help. And now, I know you ignored it...because you were too busy getting Jeanist set up with a god damn safe house, instead of doing what I asked you to do in the first place." She explained calmly, her voice low and quiet as she slowly spoke the words.

It's as if she wanted to make sure I would absorb everything she was saying....and believe me...I did. Oh, I definitely did.

And I let her continue.

"Had you taken out Jeanist the way you were supposed to, then you wouldn't have wasted time, explaining to him what was going on. You wouldn't have wasted time going behind my back, figuring out and carrying out a new plan, involving his safe house. You would have answered my call, asking you to help Deika's situation. You would have listened to my plan for you-saving civilians from the shadows, while staying out of Dabi's radar. And you would have given Jeanist's body to Dabi at the end of the night, having successfully saved more lives than you took, while also preserving your undercover status." Diane stated, the anger slowly leaving her voice as she spoke.

Her voice was turning fully into something of defeat now, and even sadness for the tragedy that happened in Deika tonight.

And if you think she feels guilty, oh man....you can't even begin to imagine how I feel right now.

Here I was, thinking for myself...thinking I was finally making the right choice in doing my own thing....

When really, all I did was make things worse.

"Keigo, I understand that you want to be the good guy. You're a hero. Why wouldn't you want to be? But, you need to realize that everything I tell you to do has a reason." She started off, her voice surprisingly soft and even somewhat mentor-like, as it seemed like she was genuinely trying to give me some advice right now.

I didn't dare say a word, letting her continue a moment later.

"I didn't order you to kill Best Jeanist tonight, because I'm a nasty bitch and I felt like having him die. I ordered you to do it, because that option is what was best for the situation. Jeanist's death would have served a purpose. It wouldn't have been in vain." Diane explained patiently, no doubt watching my fists starting to ball up in pure anger with myself.

My fault.

"This is exactly what I was telling you earlier..." She sighed out, giving her head a shake of irritated disappointment.

But, she didn't need to explain herself. I already remember her words from a few hours ago...

"One life, compared to the lives of millions, Keigo. That's what I'm saying. Are you really willing to mess up your odds for something like that?"

Squeezing my eyes shut tighter in pure guilt, I felt my teeth grit together in frustration with myself, before I buried my face in my hands.

Oh my god. What have I done?

Diane's saying that I was the one who basically killed all of those people in Deika. Is that really true?

"S-Shit...." I hissed out quietly, pulling at the sides of my hair and dragging my head back towards the ceiling.

I truly am an idiot. I should have never listened to myself. My true self.

"Yep, that's right, Hawks. One life, compared to the lives of millions. Sure, tonight, it wasn't a million people who died in Deika. But, it doesn't change the fact that you still chose to save one life, over the lives of many others. Tonight, you chose Jeanist's life, over the people of Deika. And you will need to live with the consequences of that, and take responsibility for the blood that is now on your hands." She said, gaining back her authoritative power now as she directed the blame at me once again.

I don't even know if she's being genuine.

But, still....I feel awful.

"What....what can I do?" I rasped out quietly, more than willing to follow whatever order she would give me next.

"Well, for starters, you can man up, stop your whining, and turn around to face me like the number two hero would. You're acting very much like Keigo. Actually, you've been acting like Keigo quite a bit, lately. I don't like it. So, turn around and face me, Hawks. Now." She commanded harshly, causing me to immediately turn on my heel to face her.

Whether this situation was actually my fault....whether Diane was genuinely trying to give me a piece of advice....and whether her intentions with Jeanist and the city of Deika were true, just as she said they were....

There's no doubt in my mind that Diane had once again used this entire situation, somehow, to twist and manipulate me back under her hand.

And there's nothing I can do to fight it.

Plus...

After what happened tonight....I don't even want to fight it, right now. At this moment, I have lost my will to fight for myself.

So, I won't.

I stared at Diane with blank, dead eyes....feeling absolutely nothing in my body or my heart, as she matched my gaze with a glare of fury.

"Who are you, timid boy?"

"I am Hawks."

"Yes, you are. You are Hawks. Hawks is the only man you are. The only man who matters. The only man people want. You were born to be him, and you will die, being Hawks. Do you understand me?"

"I do."

"Good. So, once again....who are you?"

"I am Hawks. And only Hawks." I stated in monotone, not even registering the words that involuntarily left my mouth.

I didn't care. Right now, I really am Hawks. I feel like Hawks, and I'm ready to do whatever the hell I'm told.

Diane glared at me for a moment longer, ensuring that Keigo was nowhere to be found, before continuing her talk.

"Alright..." She started off with a tired sigh of exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose before continuing.

"Let's fix this mess, shall we? For starters, what is it that you were hoping to achieve with your plan? We'll have to go with it now, since we have no other choice and it's too late to think of something else. Spill it." Diane commanded, causing me to immediately start speaking.

"I was planning on faking Jeanist's death. He's in the safe house, so he won't be seen by the public, until this entire ordeal is over. Once I returned here tonight, I was going to ask you to retrieve me a body from the morgue. Then, I would have disguised the body as Jeanist and given it to Dabi." I explained a mile a minute, watching Diane purse her lips in thought to my idea.

She began to pace her office slowly-a sure sign that she was, indeed, thinking hard about how to proceed.

I simply stood there in humbled silence, waiting for her to tell me what to do.

"Okay, fine. Use a dead body, disguise it as Jeanist, and hand it over to Dabi. I'm doubtful that it will work, but you already know Ari will take over your spot when you die, so no loss there. However....I won't approve a body from the morgue." She started off, pressing her lips together to stop the malicious smirk from forming on her face.

What? How else am I supposed to find a dead body then?

I furrowed my brows in confusion, wanting her to just put me out of my misery and tell me what she's thinking.

And man....was her plan just brutal when she finally told me what it was.

"You're going to use someone from the tragedy in Deika as your corpse. It's a way to give Dabi the body, while also disciplining you for disobeying me. Find one of the countless dead men lying in the streets, take him, and mutilate him to a believable state as if you killed him, and hand him over to Dabi." She ordered, failing to hide the glint of satisfaction that shone in her eyes.

I swallowed thickly at her words, gritting my teeth together before giving her a nod and walking out to perform my duty.

"Hold on. I didn't dismiss you, yet. There's more." Diane started off, causing me to quickly halt on my feet and turn around to face her again.

She looked more serious now, even somewhat concerned at what she was about to say.

"I'm sure you noticed. But, the villains who attacked Deika...they weren't just from the league of villains. The Commission has tracked bits and pieces of the fight and found that the league of villains were fighting another group of villains in the city of Deika....the Meta Liberation Army. I know you're already aware of them." Diane explained, causing me to nod my head in agreement.

During the short month hiatus I had where Dabi wouldn't contact me, I had just started to figure out the whereabouts of the Meta Liberation Army, myself.

The MLA had past philosophies that are now being reformed and supported once again-the belief that quirk usage is a basic human right, that should be liberated and used freely by everyone. Hero, villain, and civilian.

With this new reform, I had a feeling that a fight for power would break out between the league and the MLA.

But, it looks like I wasn't fast enough on the uptake in taking them down, since they destroyed Deika.

"Well, long story short....Shigaraki was fighting, who the commission thinks is the leader of the Meta Liberation Army, known as Rikiya Yotsubashi. But, he goes under the alias of Re-Destro. Shigaraki is thought to have defeated him, but our sources say that Re-Destro isn't dead. We think....he and Shigaraki may have joined forces to make an even bigger army, consisting of everyone from the league and all of Re-Destro's men from the Meta Liberation Army." Diane sighed out stressfully, furrowing her brows in concern as she spoke the words.

Shit. If this has Diane worried, then it must be bad.

But, even so...I don't need Diane to tell me this situation is bad. Any situation where Shigaraki gains more men and more power is absolutely horrible. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

"I don't know what's going on over there, Hawks. But, you're the undercover man who's gonna tell me. So, here's the deal...your infiltration mission just became a hell of a lot more dangerous and complicated. You're gonna investigate Re-Destro and the members of the MLA, and Shigaraki and the rest of the league. Find out their numbers, their ranking system, their new name, if they have one. I realize this is a lot of people you'll need to weave your way through, so starting now, I want you to work your way right into the middle of it all. I want you at the center of everything. And that means, you'll probably have to go even deeper into their enemy forces. I don't know how the members of the MLA work, but now you'll have to prove yourself to, not just Dabi, but to them as well." She said in monotone, boring her eyes into mine expectantly as she knows I have no room to refuse.

And I didn't refuse. I simply nodded in agreement, waiting for her to finish explaining the situation. Of course, I'll do it. I have to.

"Hawks, this mission has suddenly taken a new, incredibly more dangerous turn. So, I am telling you now...if you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel it's best to cut off direct communication with the commission, I want you to do it. If you ever feel you need to cut your ties with everyone in order to keep them safe, and protect your undercover status, then I want you to do it. I trust you to make the right decision and judgement to do this. Unless, you want another Jeanist/Deika situation on your hands?" She asked condescendingly, almost like she was mocking me for what happened in Deika.

It hurt.

But, the moral of the story is no. I do not want another Jeanist/Deika situation on my hands. So, I will trust the right judgement, this time, and do the most logical thing.

And the most logical thing, is this:

If I ever need to cut my ties and my contact with everyone.....everyone, in order to keep them safe from this...then I will do it. No matter what. No matter how badly I don't want to.

No matter how badly it hurts me. No matter how badly...it hurts her.

I won't let my chicky get hurt because of me. I won't. I'd rather she hate me for the rest of her life, alive and well, than be dead because I was too selfish to let her go.

Taking a deep breath to push these thoughts from my mind, I gave Diane a heavy, respectful bow of acknowledgement....letting her know I will take on the task.

She simply nodded to my gesture, before motioning towards the door.

That means, we're finished talking.

"So, get going to Deika then, Hawks. Get the corpse, and give it to Dabi. Figure out what's going on with the MLA and League of Villains, and report back. If you can. That's all. You're dismissed. Good luck." She finished blankly, causing me to immediately turn on my heel and head out the door.

I made the promise that I would get my hands dirty if it put everyone else at ease, and I failed in doing this tonight.

I spared Jeanist, and because of this...it ended up backfiring on me in more ways than one.

So, starting now...I will not hesitate.

I will mutilate the dead body from Deika to make it look like Jeanist, I will figure out what's going on between the MLA and the league.

And if necessary, I will cut my ties with the ones I care about the most, if it means keeping them safe.

Because that's what Hawks does.

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Just as expected, the city of Deika was nothing more than a pile of ruins and shambles.

I figured I would have had a hard time staying hidden from possible lurking villains in the streets, due to my wings.

But, it was already dark and there were more than enough fallen buildings and debris I could hide behind that would conceal my visibility, no problem.

I have about an hour to find the body, make it look like Jeanist, and find Dabi in the meeting place so I can give it to him.

Hiding underneath the remains of a wobbly, collapsed building, I began scanning my keen vision along one of the destroyed, eerily empty streets...trying my absolute best to find the remains of a blonde, lanky man.

It felt as if I was in a candy shop, surveying the different types to see which one I wanted. Of course, this situation felt much more morbid and disgusting.

Let's see...

Ah, there's a lanky body over there. But, he has black hair.

And that other dead guy next to him is blonde....but he's much too buff to be Jeanist.

Too old....

Too...young....

My sharp eyes narrowed upon seeing a tall looking, blonde corpse, lying face down at least twenty feet away from me.

That could work.

Sending one of my feathers out into the street, I quickly flipped it over onto its back, before groaning in frustration when I saw it was a woman and not a man, like I needed.

"C'mon..." I huffed out in annoyance, stealthily starting to move around the dead streets to find the body I needed.

Is corpse shopping a little bit insensitive? Sure.

Do I probably feel extremely horrible about this deep down inside my soul? Is this something that will haunt me later on in life when I actually have a moment to reflect on what the hell I'm currently doing? Absolutely.

But, right now...I have successfully-unlike my time with Jeanist, managed to block this event from my mind.

I truly do not feel anything at this moment towards this situation. I feel empty. I feel heartless. And deep down, I know I'm a bad person.

But, there's nothing else I can do. So, I'm just gonna get over it, and finish the job this time.

After about twenty minutes of corpse shopping, I finally managed to find a young man who resembled the appearance of Best Jeanist, well enough. With a new hairstyle and Jeanist's clothes, he should make the cut.

Using my feathers to pick up the body, I floated it to a nearby alleyway, ensuring it was empty, before I quickly got to work.

I laid the man on his back, surveying what I'd need to do to him in order to make him look more like Jeanist.

The very first thing that caught my eyes were his eyes, since they were dulled open, lifelessly...staring into nothing.

I blankly stared back for a moment, feeling just as dead as this guy, before my gaze trailed down the rest of his appearance to try and figure out how he died.

If I'm lucky, this guy just got hit with a piece of shrapnel that could somehow resemble a stab with my feathers. If this was the case, the only thing I'd need to do with him is change his clothes and hairstyle.

Finding no wounds on his head, neck, or arms...I quickly used my feathers to rip open his clothes...hoping to see a stab to the stomach, legs, or chest.

Nothing. There's not even any blood on him, other than the small bit that's streaked around his mouth.

Furrowing my brows in confusion, I continued studying the man, starting to fiddle around his dead body with my hands to try and find some type of wound.

A few moments later, I noticed how distended his abdomen appeared to be-especially for a guy who seemed to be pretty lean and fit. It was also slightly discolored.

That, compared with the blood on his mouth, made me realize that whatever this guy died from...it was most likely internal bleeding, or something similar to the sort.

Which means, I'll need to cut him up to make sure Dabi thinks I had something to do with this. Great.

First, I'll need to change him into Jeanist's clothes. Since, I was already planning on disguising a body as Jeanist from the get go, I'd already grabbed a pair of his clothes and a duffel bag for the body, to prepare for this plan.

Ripping the dress pants off the corpse, I noticed something had fallen out of his pocket.

A wallet.

Don't look inside of it, Keigo. Don't give him an identity. It will only make things worse.

But, of course....as if wanting to torture myself more, my hands picked up the wallet before I could think, opening it to find a name and identity on his driver's license.

Kazumi Abiko, Age 32

"Kazumi." I uttered softly, starting to go through the cards and notes he had tucked away in his wallet, only furthering his identity in my mind.

They'll never recover his body because of me. The least I can do is pay a little homage. Right?

My eyes landed on a tiny paper that was shoved into one of the tight pockets of his wallet, quickly pulling it out to see what it was.

I really shouldn't.

Ah. It's him and his.....family.

I blankly, yet somberly, stared at the picture of Kazumi with his wife and newborn baby. What a beautiful family they were.

I am so sorry.

"No, really. I am so, so....sorry." I whispered softly, placing my gloved hand on poor Kazumi's forehead for a moment in a pointless attempt to apologize.

If what Diane said is true, then its my fault that Kazumi died. Its my fault they all died.

I promise....I will make it right.

It may take me some time, but I will make it right. I'll make sure their deaths weren't in vain.

Not giving myself anymore time to feel horrible about this, I gently tucked the picture back into his wallet, tossing it into the street in plain sight, so someone would find it and at least know he was here when this whole thing happened. Maybe....that will give his family the idea that he's dead, so they can move on...eventually.

Quickly dressing Kazumi-I mean, the corpse, in Jeanist's clothes, and cutting his hair a little to match the correct appearance...I kneeled over him, slowly pulling out the strongest feather from my wings.

I know a lot about dealing with the dead, thanks to my hero commission training. Judging from the slowing, but still somewhat prevalent, blood flow I'm able to sense from within Kazumi's body, thanks to my feathers....he didn't actually die from his injuries until a very short time ago.

If I got here, even a few minutes earlier, I'm sure I would have been able to save him.

I hope he didn't suffer. But, it seems like he definitely did-

Anyways, if I caught him in a time of death where he still has a weak, leftover flow of blood happening inside his body, then when I slice his throat open...it should bleed out with no problem.

I hope it does. Otherwise, Dabi will probably know that I didn't really kill this guy.

Slowly lifting up Kazumi's head, I wasted no more time on harshly dragging my feather blade across his throat...forcing myself to feel absolutely nothing as I focused on the deep, gruesome cut.

Blood began weakly pouring out of the wound, causing me to sigh in relief for the man who died only relatively recently.

I know, what has my life come to, right?

I finished the cut, noticing that not enough blood was coming out, due to the fact that the guy was still, indeed, dead.

Damn it, Dabi won't like that.

Time to get your hands dirty, Keigo.

Swallowing thickly, I began using my hands to mutilate, prod, and squeeze the wound to make it look more gory and brutal, so Dabi won't be able to study it too closely.

I smeared some blood all over Kazumi's face, slashing and violating it a little more with my sharp feathers to make him appear even more unrecognizable to Dabi.

I moved on to his body now, double fisting sharp feathers in my hands as I began stabbing and slicing up Kazumi's torso and legs in a 'showy' way that would please Dabi.

I'm hoping that the more cut up, bloody, and unrecognizable this guy looks, the more Dabi will be satisfied and not ask any questions.

Ignoring the droplets of blood that landed on my face and sunglasses from the quick cuts I was making, I gave the body a few more stabs and jabs for good measure, before sitting back on my heels to assess my work.

Alright. Well...

He looks....pretty bad now.

That should be good enough.

Too done with this day to even wipe the blood from my feathers, I carelessly re-attached them back to my wings before grabbing Kazumi's limp body in my arms.

I groaned in exertion as I attempted to stick him in the duffel bag-realizing Kazumi was too tall and lanky to slide in there with ease.

Letting out a tired sigh, I wiped the blood from my aviators with the back of my hand, scrunching up my face in frustration as I began roughly forcing the body to fit in the bag.

To make things easier, I harshly kicked my booted foot into both of Kazumi's knees, hearing multiple bone crunching snaps taking place as I broke his legs.

"Agh, I'm sorry." I breathed out to him involuntarily, before quickly taking the same approach with his arms.

Breaking the arms and legs helped a great deal, as Kazumi's body was almost fully stuffed into the tiny bag now. How....resourceful...

After one more bone crunching stomp to his torso to force him in there completely, I was finally able to zip up the duffel bag.

Wordlessly, I began closing up the bag....not being able to stop myself from hesitating to give his face one more look.

How disrespectful this is.

I'm sorry, Kazumi. To you. And to your family. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. And I'm sorry your body will never be recovered by your loved ones.

But, I promise....I will make sure your death is not in vain.

As Keigo Takami.....I promise you, this is the honest truth.

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Next Chapter Title: Cut Your Ties
(Part 3 of Keigo's flashback)