"Ok, spill." Chiharu demanded. She stared at me, smirking and ready to hear everything.

I shot her a look, making her hold back a laugh.

"Ground rules first. You'll only ask questions when I say you can, and you'll only speak when I say you can. I will be using the hero names of the people I speak of due to the Hero-Law Confidentiality law in place. If any of what I say leaves this room, if anyone but us hears what about to tell you, I will fire you and ruin any chance of you getting another job anywhere, do I make myself clear?" I said as sternly as I could, looking between Daichi and Chiharu.

I was never this strict, not unless it came to pro hero secrecy. I took that shit seriously, and it's probably the only reason I would ever yell at them both.

Knowing this, they nodded, ready to hear my story.

"You remember the rapist case a few months back? With the electrician?" I asked and they both nodded.

"Pro Hero Lord Explosion Murder found one of my victims. I went to the hospital to talk to her, but she was in surgery, so I stayed to talk with LEM. He didn't have time, so we set up a time to meet after work that day.

"I caught the guy and closed the case that afternoon, but had no way to tell Lord Explosion Murder that, so I waited for him at the office. He came and one thing came to another and we went to dinner as a way of repayment.

"While at dinner, we bonded and he asked me to come to this party he had to go to. I said yes.

"A few days after, Deku, Suneater and Lemillion approached me with information regarding the Blue Ridge Killer. They helped solve the case.

"LEM picked me up the night of the party and we rode Nessie there. Once we got to the party, I was introduced to his pro hero friends, his fellow U.A. graduates. You following?" I paused to watch Chiharu and Daichi nod. They looked at me, ready for me to continue.

"While there, Cellophane got drunk and cut himself on some glass. I patched him up and before we left, he drunkenly kissed me." Chiharu smiled and squealed a bit at my words, excited. Cellophane was one of her favorite heroes.

"The next interaction I had was with Chargebolt. We met up at a crime scene, the failed bank robbery. He invited me out to dinner with him and his friends later that week, and I said yes.

"I was undercover as a mutant when I went, but all was well, come to find out that Cellophane remembered the kiss.

"One day I get a call from pro hero Temperature. He asks me to pretend to be his girlfriend so his dad will get off his ass. I understand pushy parents, so I say yes. We go on a date to the park to get to know each other better, and when he walks me to my door, he kisses me."

"Woah..." Daichi said, taken aback by the sudden change of events.

"I knew it!" Chiharu exclaimed. I shot them both a look, and they quieted down.

"We went to dinner and when we returned, Temperature confessed that he had loved me since he first saw me at the party. I turned him down, but he said he would wait for me." I heard Chiharu mumble something along the lines of, 'so romantic,' making me chuckle.

"I met pro hero Brainwash in passing at a coffee shop, and then met with Deku in my office to discuss my quirk. He wanted more information on it.

"You know what happened next with Tomura Shigaraki, him saying he was in love with me. While there, I developed a good friendship with Toga and Dabi. I know that you know how I was saved and all.

"While the police infiltrated the League of Villains base, Tsukuyomi and I almost kissed but we were interrupted by Toga. Questions so far?"

The two adults stared at me blankly, not sure what to say.

"How would that kiss even work?!" Daichi exclaimed after a moment.

"My thoughts exactly," I responded, making him even more confused.

"Did Temperature's dad like you?" Chiharu asked.

"He did, but I have another conversation with him later that says other wise."

"Oh dear lord."

"Deku came to me with the emailing thing! Why didn't you tell me about that?" Daichi asked.

"Because I knew you would send me random shit at two AM, knowing full well it would go straight to my head." I said, looking at the man in front of me.

He smirked, nodding. "You right, you right."

"Also, why are you telling this story so fast?" Chiharu inquired, tilting her head to the side.

"The faster I tell it, the faster you're out of my office."

"But we have to know the details so we can place accurate bets on who you'll end up with!" She exclaimed.

I shrugged, "too bad. Continuing the story, I had a nightmare the night I got home and in a panic called Earphone Jack. After I forced my parents out of my home that day, LEM showed up at my door and stayed the night. In case you were wondering, he is very soft when he wants to be, it's really cute."

"I knew it." Chiharu whispered in victory, making fist and dragging it down.

"I met Brainwash at the same coffee shop that day, and I met his roommate which happens to be Chargebolt. That night, Ingenium shows up at my door because of personal reasons and he ended up staying the night."

"You just get all the men, god damn." Daichi said.

"What was the second rule?"

"No talking."

"That's right, now hush. I taught a class at U.A. alongside Lemillion, and I'll be honest, it was amazing."

Should I tell them about visiting Dabi and Toga? I thought, no, that's one thing I want to keep to myself.

"After that, I met Deku while on a walk and we came back to my place to eat some dinner and talk. I showed him my hero costume and we actually ended up kissing before he rushed out.

"I went to dinner with Alien Queen and Red Riot the following night at their invitation, and when I came home you guys know what I saw. Questions?"

They shook their heads, so I continued.

"Once that issue was cleared up, wether Deku wanted it cleared up or not-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What does that mean?" Chiharu asked.

"All it means is that Deku was hesitant to say anything about the matter." I explained.

"He so likes you." Chiharu gasped.

"I know if I got into a scandal like that with the girl I liked, I wouldn't want to resolve it." Daichi offered, shrugging.

"See?!" Chiharu exclaimed, "Daichi's a guy, he knows these things!"

"Does he? His idea of a first date was taking her to the movies and sneaking in pre-made sweet fried chicken."

"Hey!" Daichi intervened, pointing at me. "It worked, going on three years baby, boo yah!" He held his hands up for high-fives, but Chiharu and I didn't move.

"No?"

"You lost me at boo yah."

"Yeah, it was the boo yah for me chief."

"You guys are boring." Daichi said, slumping down in his seat.

"Daichi's weird dates aside, what happened next? You laid low right? Didn't do much? I have a lot to process about your love life as is (Y/N). Now after this I'll have to make charts and graphs, and- ugh. How much more to the story?"

"Well, not much. There's the sleepover in which four hot-as-fuck women were all trying to kiss me and I ending up making out with one of them on Nessie, my fake boyfriends dad stalking me, and then the dinner where I spilled my guts to a guy and he said I was perfect. To me that seems like a lot more charts." Chiharu stared at me wide eyed, while Daichi perked up in his seat.

"Hot-as-fuck women? Four of them? Damn, you got me there, spill." Daichi said, considerably more excited than he was before.

"Keep it in your pants Daichi."

"No promises."

"Anyway," I said, catching their attention, "do you want the rest of the story or not?" They nodded quickly, telling me to go on.

"Alien Queen invited me to a sleepover at Uravity's new home, so I packed up and went. While I was out of the room, they decided to play a game to see who could kiss me first. Little did they know, I heard them plan the whole thing."

"What did you do?" Chiharu gasped, completely disregarding my rule.

"I used my skills from high school."

"So you were a tease the whole night and played cat and mouse with them?" She asked.

"Basically. I ended up falling asleep with Earphone Jack on Uravity's counter, making the rest of the girls think we had sex on her counter, which we did not by the way."

"Do you remember that time at Ogawa's house during that one party where we actually did have—"

"We don't talk about what we did at Ogawa's house at that one party, thank you Chiharu." I said, cutting her off.

"Whoa, I wanna hear this story." Daichi said, smirking.

"Of course you do, you pervert." Chiharu scoffed. "Go on (Y/N)."

"Thank you Chiharu. So when I left, I kissed them all on the mouth, just a little peck, and Creati was leaving at the same time as me, so she walked me to my bike. When we got there, she decided, 'oh hey, let's make out with the detective!' And she did."

"And you let her?"

"Of course I did, are you telling me you wouldn't? Creati is a whole ass goddess, I feel fucking blessed after that interaction." I informed her.

"I would too, not gonna lie." Daichi agreed.

"Anyway, we're getting off topic. Go on."

"Well, afterwards I went to a convenience store to pick up some stuff, and who do I meet there but Temperature's father. He starts interrogating me about what I was actually doing with Deku, saying I was cheating on Temperature. Which I'm not because we aren't even dating, but he doesn't know that.

"We got into a bit of a fight about it, yelling back and forth. Eventually I left, going home. I got a call from Brainwash, inviting me over for dinner."

"With just him, or him and Chargebolt?" Chiharu asked.

"Him and Chargebolt."

"Damn, (Y/N)'s over here in threesomes."

"Must everything be about sex with you Daichi?" I asked.

"If it has the potential to be sexual, imma make it sexual, that's my motto."

"Get a different motto," Chiharu said, "please."

"Damn Chiharu, let (Y/N) finish her story! Always interrupting, Damn."

"But you-! I- child anyways."

"So I go over," I started, ignoring the two, "and we have dinner, everything's going fine, they're both flirting with me. I over hear Brainwash tell Chargebolt that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and that Chargebolt should lay off."

"He did not!" Daichi exclaimed.

"He did. So we go up to the roof top and we all lay down and Chargebolt falls asleep, leaving Brainwash and I alone. One thing comes to another and boom! I spill my guts to Brainwash and he looks me in the eye and tells me I'm perfect."

They both gasped, staring at me.

"Alien Queen and Earphone Jack called me today to wish me luck at work, Chargebolt brought me flowers and balloons, and Temperature and LEM took me out to lunch and that all brings us here. In my office, with me telling you both about my love life." I finished my tale, leaving them wide eyed and open mouthed.

"Damn," Chiharu said getting up, "I have so many charts to make."

"I have so many background checks to do."

Me having to read through my own book to remember hero names and the storyline: 👁👄👁

Fun Fact: Whenever I mention (Y/N) watching "cartoons" or I just don't specify what it is she's watching, it's Sailor Moon.

Did I make this chapter to remind myself of everything that's happened so far? No...

So, here's sneak peaks at both of the stories I have in my drafts! Let me know which one you like more! (They probably won't come out for a while, but they will eventually, I promise.)

Title: Vanilla.
MHA x reader
Description:
Her life was simple. Three roommates: a lawyer, a graffiti artist, and a grocer. Then there was her. Simple (L/N) (Y/N).

One day, some villains come along, thinking they're tough as shit and kidnap her, thinking they really did something.

She's saved by a few pros who instantly take an interest. It might be nice to date someone so normal, so... vanilla.

Then it all came undone. Her real job, her employer, her real life.

Everyone who didn't know was shocked. How could (L/N) (Y/N) be Eternal, the notorious hero who has managed to stay anonymous for four years despite her climbing the charts to the top ten, when she just seemed so... vanilla.

Part of the book:
Shit, I thought as I looked back at the three men behind me, they sent the top three? Really?

"What do you want?" I asked, already on edge.

"We have orders to bring you to All Might." Temperature said in an attempt to coax me closer.

"Orders from All Might himself?" I asked.

"Yes, straight from him," Lord Explosion assured me, trying hard not to insult me.

"I'll get there myself thanks." I told the men, hoping they'd give up and leave me alone. I turned back around, walking away from them.

"Woah there, cool it," Deku said, running up and placing his hand on my shoulder, "we have to bring you there ourselves. Just to make sure nothing happens to you, yeah?" He flashed his teeth at me when he smiled, making me narrow my eyes.

"Fine." I said, making the men relax. "On one condition."

Title: Cash Grab
Quirkless!Criminal!MHA pro heroes x reader
Description:
"I'm sorry, but we're closed! Come back tomorrow please!"

"The Sweetest" was a bakery downtown, a hotspot for anyone with a sweet tooth or anyone that just wants to feel loved. The owner lived above in an apartment and gets up early to bake and stays late to clean.

The only thing bad about her was how addicting her baking was.

Or so it seemed.

Part of the book:
"(Y/N) please!" Hizashi exclaimed, grabbing my hand. I tried to wrench it away, but he just held it tighter. "Be our mastermind."

"What do I get out of it?" I said, hoping I came off as intimidating as I felt.

"Oh I don't know, only a billion Yen or so." Shota said sarcastically.

"I still have over a hundred million yen kept away, I don't need money."

"Come on (Y/N). For old times sake. This was our dream when we started." Shota said. I sighed, looking down.

We stood in silence for a few moments and I looked up.

"Who's on this team of yours?" I asked.

Let me know which one you want to see first!

Reminder: Breathe deep for a minute. It's okay. Everything's alright, I promise. Everything is ok. You're ok. You're living. Look at you. I'm so proud. I love you all. 💞💞

Over and out.