It's been a few days since that beautiful encounter between Ethan and me. I did not know what to do after what happened that night. I still can't believe the way my body responded to the kiss. Every part of me wanted to kiss Ethan back, but something in my head kept reminding me how wrong it would be if I did. Ya Allah, I'm so frustrated; I can't believe I'd like Ethan and consider doing such things with him. Life throws you something that you never expect to feel. I have not been able to face Ethan since I discovered I liked him, and since we kissed. When I'm around him, I always feel shy and awkward. I also think about the way my body behaved last time. I can't be too sure if being around Ethan is safe. What if he wants to kiss me again, and I lose all my senses and kiss him back? I would want to do that, but I know I can't do that. Ya Allah, I am going to lose my mind because of Ethan. I have not been picking his calls or answering him when he comes to the house to look for me. I don't think I can ever face him.

I am getting ready to go to the mall to get some things before New Year's Day, which is in a few days. I can't believe 2019 will be over in a few days, and I will be graduating from university in a few months. It' feels so amazing to be almost done with school.

I step out of the house and walk towards my car. While walking, I notice a good-looking man dressed entirely in black, standing next to a matte black Audi R8, which I must say is a stunning vehicle. He lifts his head from his phone, and I feel all the blood in my body drain away. His deep grey eyes stare at my dark brown ones. I quickly avert my eyes; I don't want to stare at those beautiful eyes of his. Seeing Ethan after a few days makes me realise how much I miss him. Oh my God, how is this happening to me? I can't believe I just said I miss Ethan, but I should not be surprised, because once you feel one thing for someone, you start to feel a thousand things you never thought you could feel. I start taking a few steps back to the house. I don't think I can be around Ethan right now because of all of my emotions. I don't even know how to handle them.

"Adina, we need to talk. Please stop running away," Ethan says, taking quick steps towards me.

"I don't have anything to say to you. Bye," I say, quickening my pace towards the house, which now seems so far away.

"But I do, and you won't run away from me again," Ethan says and the next thing I know, I feel my ears placed beside someone's heart.

Ethan lifted me off the ground and is carrying me in bridal style. His heart is beating loudly in my ears, and just like last time, it is beating in the same rhythm as mine. How is that happening? Does it mean he feels the same way as I do? I can't believe I just thought because his heart and mine are beating in the same rhythm, means he likes me too. Something is really wrong with me today.

"Ethan, please put me down," I say, shocked and surprised by the fact that he lifted me off the ground and is holding me like I weigh nothing.

"No, I need to speak to you whether you want me to or not," Ethan says, walking towards his car.

"Ethan, I promise you I won't run away. Please put me down," I beg, feeling humiliated by the fact that he is carrying me and that people passing by can see us. I feel like the ground should swallow me whole to save me from embarrassment, and it's not even right Islamically.

"Do you promise?" Ethan says and tightens his hold around me, making me feel secure in his arms.

"Yes, I do."

He gently places me down on the ground, but still has his arm around my waist in a tight grip. I know it's wrong Islamically but it feels so amazing to have his arms around me. Ethan really does not want to take his chances with me today; I can really see it. He opens the door of his car and asks me to get in. I sit in the passenger's seat while Ethan locks the car and walks over to the driver's seat. He opens the car, quickly gets in and locks it again. If I did not know better, I would have assumed he is trying to kidnap me right now.

Ethan drives for a few minutes before stopping at a nice diner we like to eat together. He parks his car but does not get out yet or unlock the doors.

"Adina, please promise me you will listen to what I have to say, and not run away from me," Ethan says, turning around to face me.

"Yes, I promise I won't run away again," I say, because it's not like I can hide away from him forever. I was terrified of confronting him after discovering feelings for him that I had no idea I could have for him.

"Thank you," Ethan says, smiling, showing off those beautiful dimples that I love. They make him look so handsome.

We step out of the car and walk into the diner. We take a seat at the first free table we come across.

"Adina I know you're running away from me because of what happened on Christmas Day, and I'm sorry, but I'm also not sorry," Ethan says, and I feel so shy and awkward talking about it.

"I don't understand."

"I am sorry because your religion does not accept what happened, but I am not sorry because, even right now, I want to kiss you until you are breathless," Ethan says with a smirk on his face.

I don't say anything but look at Ethan like he has two heads right now. I can't believe he just said that. Oh my God, what could that mean? Does that mean he enjoyed kissing me last time? Please, he shouldn't kiss me again because I might have been able to stop it last time, but I can't trust myself to do the same today.

"I'm not sure what to say, Ethan," I admitted honestly because a lot is going through my head right now. I am still trying to understand my feelings towards him, and now knowing he wants to kiss me again is only making me more confused.

"You don't have to say anything, Bella," Ethan says, smiling.

"Ethan, but what happened can't repeat itself. It was very wrong of you to kiss me. "

"I know, and I will keep my hands off you as much as possible."

"Thank you," I say, pleased that he is willing to make an effort to respect my decisions.

"You are welcome," Ethan says, and after a few seconds, we order food and have lunch together.

After lunch, Ethan drives me back home. He even walks me to my door.

"Adina," Ethan says while I am opening the door.

"Yes, Ethan," I say, turning around to face him.

"I want to ask you something," Ethan says, sounding nervous. What could Ethan possibly be worried about to ask me?

"I am all ears."

"Will you be available tomorrow?" Ethan says, and I am surprised that was the question he was nervous about. I thought it would be something else.

"Yes, I will. Why do you ask?"

"There is somewhere I want to take you to. Be ready by 2p.m; I will come and pick you up," Ethan says, smiling.

"Alright, I will, and I wonder where you want to take me."

"It's a surprise and......" Ethan says, rubbing the back of his neck in a shy way. I wonder why he is so shy today. "It's a date. Bye," Ethan says as he walks away before I can respond.

I can't believe what has just happened. Did Ethan just ask me out on a date? Ahh, I am mentally screaming right now. How did this happen? Does Ethan like me too? Could that be possible? I don't even know what to do. This could really change the relationship that Ethan and I have. I know dating is not allowed in Islam, but I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Ethan wants to go out on a date with me. It feels so unreal to me, but I can't go out on a date with him because I won't be able to date him. I feel so happy because he asked me out, but I also feel so sad because I won't be able to date him. I will have to tell him tomorrow. Right now, I just feel like crying because I can't be with the one I have feelings for.

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