I sat up in the tiny cabin, gasping for breath and fumbling for a light. It seemed that every time I turned my head, every time I closed my eyes, I saw something that could have been the evil glow of Nero's smile or the gleam of his sinister smirk. But I didn't have a bed side lamp in this off the grid cabin. 

I had to fumble around for the single flash light. It only put out a small amount of yellow light, barely illuminating anything. My hands shook around the handle, causing the light to bounce around above me. God, I wished I was at the farm house, listening to Eddy snore, knowing that someone would come running if I screamed.

But I was alone in the middle of the woods. And the only people who had any idea where I was were not even fully human.

"You've been through this before," I whispered to myself, running  hand down my face. "This isn't you first nightmare."

And it wasn't my first nightmare, not by any stretch. I had never gone more than a couple sleeps without some kind of nightmare rearing its head. In fact, I couldn't remember my last sweet dream, it was either an empty, dark sleep, or one filled with blood. 

But this nightmare had struck me harder. It had felt so real, like there should have been blood still gushing out of my wrist and on my palms. I felt like, if I strained my ears hard enough, I would hear one of my sister's screaming as her life was stripped away. It felt like the nightmares I used to have just nights after I had escaped, freeing myself from that beast, but never able to free myself from the destruction.

So many of them had fallen at my hands because I couldn't give Nero what he wanted.

Evidently, sitting in a sweaty mess on my little cot was not making my mind race any less. I needed something more cleansing, something that would make me feel safe all over again.

Flashlight still clutched in hand, I ambled to my feet and stumbled out of the little cabin. The yellow light guided me out of the building and I padded barefoot, over the grass, listening for the gurgling of the glacier stream. Yes, water always made me feel better. It gave me power. It wiped away all the wrongs and forgave a true daughter.

Not that I could be forgiven for letting all those girls and women suffer.

I tromped into the water, not caring that it was freezing. The only thing I cared about was how the water looked. Instead of perceiving the water as shimmering and magical at night, I just saw the darkness. Almost black. And when it swirled around my ankles, I kept thinking about the blood. So much blood. When I closed my eyes, I could convince myself that it was warm and sticky.

Instead of power rolling up my legs, I only felt the need to vomit. 

I hadn't meant for it to happen. I would have given anything to be weaker, to not be the reason that my sisters died. I had screamed and wailed each time Nero had gone after another siren. I had begged and pleaded for him to stop. But he never stopped, only waiting the secrets that I could not give him.

With a whimper, I fell to my knees into the creek. Water drenched my Dr. Suess shorts and tee shirt. I tossed the flashlight away before plunging my hands into the water, trying to grab the energy and peace that was stored there. But the glacier water just drifted passed.

I tipped my head back, cursing at the moon, the stars, the sky, anything that would take it. But nothing answered my anger, my fear, my guilt. Tears poured down my cheeks now, but the world I used to be so in tune with refused to communicate with me. I couldn't stand all the blackness, couldn't stand all of the liquid around me.

I needed to get out of here. And I needed to get out of here now. 

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was driving. I had grabbed the keys from the cabin, but hadn't bothered to change my clothes or pack up my belongings. I was sitting in Eddy's SUV with nothing but the keys in the ignition, soaks pajamas and an almost dead flashlight.

I let the car bump and buck over every root and hole, but never slowed down. I needed to leave. I didn't know where I was going, but I followed my gut.

After twenty minutes, my hands were still shaking and my gut was still telling me to drive on. I complied, of course. I was so jittery, so unnerved, I didn't even blink when I realized that I had guided myself on the road that Elliot and Easton had shown me.

Movement caused my eyes to flash at my rearview mirror. In the dim lighting that the brake lights offered, I could see a large black animal following my car. A wolf. I hadn't seen any werewolves when I had been here last, but I wasn't a fool. I knew that Easton had done everything he could to protect me, to make me feel as safe as possible.

But he wasn't here to protect me now. 

Yet, I didn't feel afraid. Maybe I would have if I could get over the quaking in my stomach and the way my eyes continued to pour tears. Maybe I would have the good sense to understand that I was racing right into the belly of the beast, the very institution that I had avoided for years now.

But I didn't care.

I squinted, trying to remember exactly where I had gone. I saw a small coffee shop, a mechanic, and a clothing store that I couldn't remember from before. I didn't know which street to turn down, thinking that I had blindly followed Elliot's Jeep through this little town. 

But I saw the cute little porch and and was able to make out the turquoise of the accent door.

I jerked the wheel hard and pushed the little SUV until I was on his driveway. I slammed the car into park as my eyes found the mirror again. What had been one lone wolf following me was now half a dozen. 

All the years of fleeing told me to stay in the car, to drive until I was out of gas. I could get at least two hundred kilometers away with how much I had left. I could start over again. 

I unbuckled my seat belt instead. 

They all broke into a furious run, tearing up the ground between us.

I abandoned the safety of the car.

A loud howl rang out.

I darted up the porch steps.

I could hear their paws kicking up rocks, claws hitting the pavement.

I pounded my fist against the door, praying a light would come on in the little house.

~~~Question of the Day~~~

Baths or showers?