Word Count: 1835

~Onyx

I brace my forehead against my hand, my elbow resting on the table.

The words before me start to blur, sentence becoming deformed and illegible. Rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes, I refocus, trying to make sense of what I'm seeing.

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here. Long enough to feel as though this seat has become a part of me, to feel as though the books on shelves around me are really in my head.

"It's late."

I raise my head, seeing my mother emerge from the shadows of the library. She pulls out a chair at the table I sit out, sinking into it solemnly.

I look down, unable to look at her.

"I know."

At this point she's a reflection of me. I'm sure I have the same bluish hollows under my eyes, the same streaks of crimson in them.

"It's time to settle in for bed, son," she softly. "You haven't slept since yesterday."

She's speaking to me like I'm a wild fawn, seconds away from spooking. With any other issue she tells me to be strong, to wear a mask and keep my emotions smothered.

But when it comes to Sienna, she knows there's no point of that.

"How can I sleep? Sienna has been taken from me, and I need to get her back," I remind her, returning my attention to the treaty sitting before me.

It's long and complicated, and so painfully intricate it's hurting my brain. So far I've only found it reiterates what Zion conveyed to me.

"I'm sure Sienna is safe for now. Sleep will clear your mind, help you think better," she prompts.

I shake my head. The thought of having to lay my head on a pillow in a dark room without Sienna sleeping beside me is so unpalatable my stomach turns.

Even if I am exhausted…

"There is no time to waste." I rub my temple. "Zion abused Sienna and her mother before. It's only a matter of time before he does it again."

The thought of him raising his hand to her fills me with a murderous rage that I struggle to dampen. My foot is incessantly tapping beneath the table, my body wrought with unspent energy.

Mothers sighs, leaning over the table. "What are you looking at?"

"The treaty. I'm looking for a loophole," I admit.

All I've managed to determine is that those who wrote this seemed to want to make it as difficult to understand as possible with its cursive writing and extravagant wording.

"Even if you found one, you would have to make your case to all the Alpha's, and most wouldn't have interest in incurring Zion's wrath," she brings up tentatively.

I pin her with a stare. "They would rather not have mine."

And my wrath they would be faced with if they stood by while my mate was stolen from me and something could be done about it. Even Imogen would feel inclined to side with me.

"Just don't make yourself insane looking for a loophole," she encourages gently. "Take your time, get this right."

"I need her back, mother…"

She nods solemnly. "I know."

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to remain rational. My reasons for waiting to save Sienna from her father's grasp are becoming more diluted by the second. All I can think about is her in that house, with him…

"Then I'm going to kill Zion. Once and for all," I mutter, rubbing circles against my temples.

I'm going to enjoy every second of smothering his life, of extinguishing everything about him. I flex my fingers just imagining it, thinking about the power that would overcome me when I wrapped them around his throat.

I want to rid of every obstacle in Sienna's life. I want her to live freely knowing there is no threat to her.

"You know how I feel about your desire for revenge," mother mutters, leaning back in her chair.

"He killed my father," I remind her bitterly. "Your husband."

I've never understood how my mother could be so passive. She saw him die with her own eyes and doesn't spend every waking moment fantasising about ending the man that took her husband from her. I don't get it.

"Onyx, you look back upon your past through the eyes of a child." A deep sadness settles into the depths of her eyes. "You see your father as a great, strong man. But he could be cruel."

I swallow thickly. "I know..."

"Do you? Do you truly believe you know?" Her voice is sharp. "He was cold and distant from us both. He ruled with a heavy hand and was defiant until his death."

My father was an austere man, but I learnt from a young age not to take it personally. I respected him, and that felt like enough of a worthy bond to sate a me, even as a young child.

"He was a good Alpha," I grit out.

"He was an Alpha with a taste for war. He pushed and prodded Zion like it was a sport. He drove that man to fight, and fight he did." She taps her chin thoughtfully. "Your father was not innocent, not even in his own death. He thought he was untouchable, and Zion taught him a final, cruel lesson."

Something heavy settles in my stomach, more visceral than nausea.

"How could you speak of him like this?"

Her expression suddenly hardens as she lays her palms against the table, an unsettling edge to the way she stares at me.

"Don't be naïve boy. Your father loved us both, but he loved the title of heir the most. He threw himself into training you, and for that, you've always felt like you were indebted to him," she explains with a cold calm.

"I owe all my success to him." I stretch my arms wide, trying to encompass more than just this sprawling estate, but the land and powerful armies that protect it.

He taught me everything. He left my mother with so little to do in mentoring me.

He may not have sat by my bed and read bedtime stories to me, or hugged me when I accomplished something great, but our relationship transcended affection.

Even if at times I would find myself yearning for it.

"How you are so tender, so capable of such genuine love with Sienna is beyond me. You didn't learn it from either of us." She laughs bitterly, shaking her head before her eyes settle on me. "Yet there is darkness in you that your father fostered, that he encouraged."

I know the darkness that she mentions, and sometimes it overcomes me. It's especially potent in moments like these, where my mate has been taken from me and the temptation to destroy the world to get her back becomes almost unbearable.

It was also bad after what Kayn did to Sienna. I killed him, even when I promised her I wouldn't.

"He may have been cruel at times, but he loved me. He loved us. And he deserves to have his death avenged," I respond calmly.

"After your father died I swore off such grand gestures of power. I saw how his anger and impulse got him killed, and I knew I could not let my son follow in his footsteps," she insists.

I shake my head. "I'm not…"

"But you are. I don't encourage your thirst for revenge because your fate will be the same as your fathers and I cannot bear that." Mother wraps her arms around herself, looking off the side.

It's in this moment I see the quietness of her desperation. She doesn't want to command me to fall in line with her wants, but it's clear it tortures her that I don't.

"I'm fine mother. I will be fine," I assure her. "I just don't understand how you could keep everything from me regarding Sienna and Grace."

"When Grace appeared at my doorstep that night, I saw myself in her. I saw a woman broken, having spent part of her life being married to an Alpha." She rubs her face tensely. "When I saw Sienna, sweet daring Sienna, I saw you in her. I knew I had to protect them both at all costs."

I release a slow, long breath. In her position I would have likely done the same thing.

"Knowing about Sienna's connection to Zion wouldn't have changed how I feel about her. It still hasn't," I insist.

"That was before I figured you two were mates," she deadpans. "I knew you were taking the position as Alpha and I saw you kicking them both out. That hurt me."

"I would never have done that. I loved Grace too, and I love Sienna."

Wincing, I rub my forehead. A headache has gathered between my temples, the tension too much to bear.

Mother sighs. "I know that now, in retrospect. I have a great deal of regrets, Onyx. For that, I cannot apologise enough."

I don't harbour any resentment for what she has kept from me. She thought she was protecting Sienna, which only scares me…some part of her thinks I could be callous enough to cast Sienna off.

My head falls into my hands, the words of the treaty swimming in my vision.

"I don't know who I am without the need for revenge. It's something I've always wanted," I admit softly.

"An eight year old boy should not have been considering revenge." She reaches out, resting her hand on my arm. "Who knows how that warped your mind."

I look up at her, my entire being wavering. There is, however, one part of me that is steadfast.
 
"If Zion lays a single finger on Sienna…I will not be able to promise that revenge will not be sought," I tell her earnestly.

She stands, knowing there is no point arguing this. She knows I can be reasoned with when it comes to my mate, to the woman I'm going to marry.

"Just be careful, please."

I bow my head. "I will."

"Now get to sleep. You're worrying me half to death." She gives me a sharp look to let me know this isn't something I can avoid much longer.

"Fine. Just a few hours," I concede, leaving the treaty on the table, knowing I will resume this position first thing in the morning.

I'll look through it for as long as it takes â€" I will find a way to get Sienna back.

🩷••🩷

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