Word Count: 2128

~Sienna

Yawning, I brace back on my hands, feeling the sun warm my skin.

"He's far more handsome than I realised," Alex says distractedly, watching Onyx in the distance.

It's an unusually pleasant day out today, so I set up lunch for us to eat, joined by Alex's brother and chaperone, Rowan.

We are seated at the top of the grassy hill, looking down at the river that cuts through the valley, joining the lake a little further down. Onyx is walking with Violet, his hands tucked respectfully behind his back; his head bowed as he listens to what she is saying.

Alex is right about him being handsome, especially today.

He's chosen a dark green short-sleeved shirt, revealing his well-muscled arms and the tattoo's he got when he turned eighteen. Lucia nearly fainted upon seeing them, especially since their meaning still hasn't been entirely ascertained.

"Just wait until he smiles," I tell her, smothering my own as I take a bite from my apple.

"He is capable of that?" Rowan asks. Alex slaps his arm irritably.

The two are twins, I've since learnt. It makes sense since they have the same light blonde hair and stark blue eyes.

I laugh. "Surprisingly, yes, but it's rare. Very rare."

"Are you worried about who he will pick? About his future wife?" Alex asks lightly, tucking her hair behind her ear as she gazes longingly in his direction.

She's enamoured by him already. He's quite a good distance away, but she's looking at him like he's standing before her, giving her attention instead of Violet.

"I hope he picks someone who will love him. He deserves happiness," I say honestly. It's about time he settles down and starts to enjoy life instead of stressing all the time.

Rowan lounges back, his overly long hair hanging down over his eyes. "Some would disagree."

"Why?"

His mouth forms a hard line as he looks down toward Onyx. "Some people believe he is cruel. He has harmed a great many people."

People don't have to think that. He has harmed a lot of people, but I vehemently believe everything has done is to protect those he cares about, including his Pack members.

People don't like to consider who has to do horrible things so they don't ever have to consider it. Someone has to protect them.

"He would never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it," I impart.

Rowan's frosty eyes find mine. "Who decides who deserves it?"

I pause, my lips parting as I consider that.

Alex smacks her brother's arm, scowling at him. "Rowan. Stop."

"I don't know. But he may be your brother-in-law one day, so be careful." I laugh, although it sounds breathless.

I've brushed aside some of the horrors Onyx has inflicted for what we both believe to be the greater good. I know his heart, how torn he is when someone undeserving gets hurt.

He would never kill unnecessarily. I know it in my heart.

"I'm personally open to love him. It's why I'm here, after all," Alex muses wistfully, smiling at the prospect.

"I'm rooting for you," I tell her honestly.

If Onyx does pick her, she would be a nice addition to this place, and I could see myself becoming her friend.

It would be a good thing...even if, in the depths of my stomach, it doesn't feel like one.

"How come you two never tried to be together?" She asks, picking up a handful of blueberries.

"I'm a commoner. An orphan." I look away so I don't have to see the pity in either of their eyes. "I have no title or wealth. Tradition would bar us from any legal union."

"What about secretly? No romance at all?" She whispers lowly. Rowan rolls his eyes, tipping his head back disinterestedly. "I mean, you're his mistress. There has to be something there."

I roll over onto my stomach, debating what I should share with her.

"Onyx and I hated each other when we first met. I was a young, naïve girl with a fearful mother," I start. "Onyx was to be Alpha, and he was a few years older than me, so he scared me."

And by scared, I mean terrified. Even before he became Alpha, he always had something about him that had people giving him a wide birth. He scared even the most sturdy of souls.

"I don't blame you," Alex says, adding a slice of cheese to a cracker.

"He warmed to me when I lost my mother," I tell them. "He caught me crying one night in the kitchen. It was the middle of the night, and he had been up working, helping his mother quell some disputes on the eastern border. Despite being exhausted, he sat up with me for hours, comforting me."

I remember it being the first time I had felt genuinely cared for since my mother died. The first time arms had wrapped around me that weren't burdened with pity and obligation.

"Wow. That's so kind." Alex's eyes are welled with sadness, sensing my own.

"He's like that." I offer a smile. "He drops everything for the ones he loves."

I watch each graceful stride he makes alongside Violet, at the way the sun warms his skin, how it's glistening against the dark strands of his hair.

"So, how did you not fall in love with him?"

"I did, in a way," I sigh wistfully. "I mean, I fell for his soul, which sounds ridiculous, but it's true."

How could I not? Onyx was my crutch when I needed him the most. His attention never strayed from me once, and it hasn't after all these years. Our friendship is so deeply ingrained in who I am.

"It's sweet," Alex notes.

"I grieved my mother's death for a long time. Long past him becoming Alpha. I had no space in my head for romance, and he never made any advances on me," I explain. "Not that I think he would..."

Admittedly, there have been plenty of times when I wanted him to make a move. I wanted him to tug me close, to kiss me.

It never happened. It never will.

"He sounds like the perfect gentleman." Alex's face is flushed like she's imagining such kindness being imparted to her. "But now? Nothing? Why are you his mistress then?"

"I'm his mistress for the title. I realise I've been telling too many people that, but if you really want to give it a chance with him, you should know that there are no feelings there," I admit to her. "He needs a wife, and I need to figure out who I am beyond these palace walls."

Alex nods, relief pressing a breath from her lungs. I wonder if she's been wanting to ask that since she arrived here.

"I'm going to go speak to him. Violet's had enough of his attention." She stands, brushing her hands down the skirt of her dress.

Rowan waves his hand at her dismissively, laying on his back with his eyes closed, enjoying the sun.

"Good luck." My smile slips once she turns away, bounding down the hill animatedly.

I know I'm doing the right thing, being so truthful. So why does watching Alex run off toward my best friend like she's already in love hurt so much?

***

~Onyx

Sienna flips a card down on the hay in front of me, making me sigh.

She is unfairly good at this game.

"So, give me a run down," she asks, kicking her legs out in front of her as she leans back against the hale bale. "Who's the favourite?"

"Is none of them an acceptable answer?" I mutter, sorting the cards back into the stack, shuffling them adeptly.

Sienna gives me a deadpan look. "Obviously not."

Our occasional nights together in the barn are a space where none of the problems of the day can follow me. My focus is on my friend, a game of cards and the bottle of alcohol she always brings in here that we never drink from.

"Violet is the most bearable," I admit.

"Is it because she hardly says a word? If so, that doesn't count."

"We got to talking. We bonded over neither of us wanting to be here, doing this," I say, setting the sleek set of cards down, deciding I don't want to be humiliated again for at least a couple of minutes.

Violet seems simple, easy. She doesn't make a fuss, she speaks clearly and plainly, and she knows a great deal about this Pack.

But I'm not attracted to her. Not in a way that matters.

"Ugh, this is hopeless. You're not taking this seriously," Sienna complains.

"I like Alessandra. She seems nice," I offer. "The other two are fine, just more than I can handle right now."

Elora's head is in the clouds, and Lexa is a bit abrasive. Regardless, I'm not attracted to any one of them.

I have a very specific type. So specific, there's only one girl I can think of who is everything that I want. The problem is she's not in the running.

"Are you being extra nice to them?"

"As much as I can be."

"Not to push you in a certain direction, but I actually really like Alex. She's here for the right reasons," Sienna muses, her wicked smile tells me she's very okay with pulling the strings in my love life.

"Really?"

"From what I can tell."

"Alright, I'll talk to her some more."

Alex being here for the right reasons only makes her less likely to be my final choice. I don't want her here on false pretences, especially when she is looking for love I can't give her.

Sienna falls silent, smiling to herself. She's satisfied, thinking there really is a chance between Alex and I.

I clear my throat roughly. "So, what's with you and Lexa's brother?"

"Kayn? Oh, not much. We just got talking," she says dismissively. "He wants me to come to visit him in his village so I can study the plants that are there."

She looks at me a little apprehensively. She knows this sound ridiculous, considering she just met the man today.

Suspicion rouses in my stomach. Something's off with that guy.

"After just meeting you?"

"He was being friendly." She could at least try to sound a little more convincing.

I raise my brows. "Alright."

She narrows her eyes. "Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"The look that says you're going to do some secret investigating to see if he's good enough," she mutters, rolling her eyes.

I smirk. Of course I am. I'm going to look into every aspect of that man's life before I trust him with Sienna's.

"What else are friends for?" I ask, flicking a piece of straw through my fingers.

"Is anyone good enough for me in your eyes?" She asks teasingly.

I shake my head slowly. The perfect gentleman could walk through the manor doors and sweep Sienna off her feet, and I would still be wary of him.

"No, but that's beside the point."

"He's nice, and he doesn't care that I'm your mistress, so I'm going to keep talking to him." Sienna gives me a sideways look. She's firm on that, but I can tell that she agrees with me on how strange Kayn's behaviour is.

I hold my hands up. "You don't need my permission."

"I know...I'm just making sure you're not going to do anything weird behind the scenes."

"Weird?"

"Like scare him off or something," she grumbles, dragging her gaze over me. "Everyone is terrified of you."

Good. As they should be.

"A man of value will not be afraid to stand up to me. If Kayn can do that, then he will be worthy of your affections," I tell her, knowing the man is unlikely to do so.

I'm just Sienna's friend. Nothing more. No one should need to impress me to get with her, but I want to look out for her. She deserves real, pure love.

"Yeah, alright." She stands, brushing the hay off her. "I'm going to bed."

"Not in his room, I hope," I warn playfully.

"Be quiet, you." She gives me a faux furious look. "Focus on your own exploits, not mine."

I sigh as she slips through the barn doors and into the night.

I'm trying.

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