As this got deleted from the short story book--I wanted to repost it here

A/N: As I've been writing RTAK, I've hinted how the Rebellion has affected lives outside in the Kingdom. I wanted for a while now to write the true extent, or I guess, the challenges that Wayan and Kole faced post-Diana.

Grab your tissues because this one is pretty heavy. Once you've read this—if you need a pick me up, feel free to read the Epilogue again for TABF. Hope this shows why Wayan wasn't receptive to Sloane.

And yes, there's SMUT

***

Kole's POV – Before the Epilogue/Vegas of The Alpha's Best Friend

Marcus got me a new motorcycle. It's incredible. A beautiful teal that reminds me of the Caribbean Sea. I love it. I also promised to take care of it which is why I even gave it a name—Cari. Wayan thought it was cheesy but that's fine. I've never been one to care.

Rebecca said I deserved a new motorcycle after the wedding fiasco, but I try not to think too much about it. I pull into the Port to see that Marcus is already waiting at the end of one of the docks. He seems both surprised and not surprised to see me.

He crosses his arms over his chest as I set my new bike to the side. Pulling my helmet off and letting my hair fall down. Marcus smiles as he approaches me, "Luna."

I shudder, "Goddess please don't do that."

"Why?" He chuckles, "Does it make you feel old?"

"Old, responsible, like an adult." I exaggerate another shudder which makes Marcus laugh.

Ever since I've been back, Marcus and Rebecca have been nothing but thrilled. They cried—both of them. Cried that they were happy I get to stay. Cried over the fact that I almost died. They pretty much laughed through tears of joy when it truly hit them that I'm Way's Mate. Paula has also been nothing but receptive. Telling me that I've always been a Hurley—but an off-brand edition. It made me smile.

Marcus swings his arm over my shoulder, looking behind me for a split second as his eyebrows furrow slightly. "Is Wayan..."

I bite my lip, "Not today. I thought...I think it would be a good idea if I learned how to do what he's been doing. Can I help you instead or are my Luna duties totally sanctioned off to something else?"

"Of course not kiddo." Marcus ruffles my hair, "I just never imagined you'd be interested in Alpha duties."

"Let's find out then." I offer the smallest of smiles. If this helps Way, then I'll gladly do it. I'll do anything for him.

Marcus redirects me away from the docks. We head into one of the many buildings that oversees the beautiful ocean water. There's a whole lot of commotion inside. Papers being flung around as a long line of merchants, travelers, and different kinds of supernatural's pass through here. We might as well be an Ellis Island of Supernatural activity.

Marcus leads me up a staircase to a secluded office where Steven and his father are currently sitting. Steven is swirling in a chair, giving me a bright smile when I sit beside him. We fist bump and I lean back in my seat. Several different pack members come in to tell us our current shipping routes and how much we're spending on certain carriers.

The Port here is very commercial but just down the water, we have the larger shipping facility. The one that transfers all kinds of supernatural elements across the world. It's our biggest source of income.

I—somehow—don't get bored. Or at least, I'm too busy trying to be a good Luna that I'm entirely focused on all the numbers. Even Steven isn't falling asleep which is a miracle. I saw him in school—I have pictures of him drooling on final exams.

"If we're losing money on the two separate ships," I speak up at some point. "Then wouldn't it make more sense to just allocate one ship that carries the supplies from one stop to the other instead of coming back?"

"Yeah, but some of those supplies have a designated shelf life, that's the issue." One member tells me. For once, I don't feel like they're using a condescending tone. I think they're appreciative that I'm taking my role seriously.

I don't think I've truly earned my place here yet. I'm sure Marcus has warned them off. Wayan probably has as well. Most of our top pack members were at the wedding. There's this mix of appreciation towards me for saving our Alpha and pack but it's still combined with the same disgust they've felt for years.

I've always been Alpha Marcus' problematic child. It's actually kind of fun to see them squirm with me in power now. They know full well I didn't want this position, it came to me out of some romantic supernatural godly bond. I can't truly say I blame them though. They all saw the video of me at Wayan's stag night—the one that Diana played at the engagement party. Me playing stripper doesn't exactly scream 'Luna Material.'

Then again, I'm not your typical Luna.

No...you're not, My wolf purrs contently. You're too hot not to flaunt what you've got, Kole.

Fuck tradition, I tell my wolf like we're clinking glasses of wine together.

She cheers me back, Fuck tradition.

"What's the shelf-life?" I ask curiously as I rear back into the conversation.

"Six-weeks," The same member says.

I chew my lip as I stare at the PowerPoint in front of us, "So rearrange the materials and routes."

There's a light scoff that comes from the end of the table. I don't bother acknowledging it because I somewhat understand. It's stupid to assume they haven't thought of it, but they haven't.

"Your issue is that you're not changing the routes too." I stand up and walk over to the white board as I start to draw it out. "If we were to ship out the medications with our cargo planes, then they can be taken to the east coast in a day or two—depending on what we want. We can time the delivery with the ship that's crossing through the Panama Canal to deliver the spices and potions to our Latin neighbors. From there, instead of turning around and coming to the Port, the ship goes up the east coast, picks up our medications, and it's off to Europe where they're having the biggest issue with supply. It's more efficient than bringing the ship back. It takes...what? Roughly two weeks for the cargo ship to arrive to Europe? That leaves four weeks of distribution. That's one more week than what we have right now when we go through the Pacific."

I've drawn it out slightly—mainly because I've always been a visual learner.

Well, you do learn a lot from porn. My wolf teases me and I nearly smirk.

I turn to our pack members, "Feel free to tell me if there are flaws. I'm new to this."

A few eyes turn to Marcus who's beaming brightly. I guess he always thought I didn't listen at the dinner table. I think in this moment he realizes that even the small things I did listen to—have solidified in my mind.

"Could our cargo planes take on this role?" Steven asks his father. Since stepping down from his Beta position, Steven's dad has been given the task of air and ground travel. Whereas Marcus oversees our waterways.

"The medications don't take on that much space," Steven's father nods. He looks at me, "If we can time it properly, it could work. How'd you think of it?"

"We're transporting drugs." I can't help but grin, "Don't think your son and I wouldn't take drugs seriously."

The entire room rolls their eyes except for Marcus and Steven who chuckle under their breath. I can't always be serious.

I smile—setting down the marker, "See gentlemen? Being blonde doesn't make me totally ditzy. You can add smart next to sexy and stripper. I'll make sure to add it to my LinkedIn profile."

Sitting back down, I let them all discuss the logistics of the plan I proposed. There are plenty of things they all have to confirm before it could even be put into place. Most importantly, if it'll save us the money that they're looking for.

How's the meeting? Wayan's voice comes through our Mind Link.

I try not to smile, It's going.

I'm sorry it's not me there. I know how much you hate those meetings.

It's okay, Way. This time I do smile softly, I just schooled them all.

With your top on? Way says and I can just picture him smirking, I don't believe you.

Be careful, I warn him with a light purr. I'll school you too.

Preferably, with your top off.

Are you going to beg for it? I tease him.

Please, baby, please. He begs playfully. Spank me with your ruler.

Now I know he's just trying to get me break down in front of all these men. I bite my tongue to stop from laughing. I also hold onto his playfulness. He hasn't sounded this way in a long time. It makes my wolf perk up and cower. Both excited and fearful. Maybe he's having a good day. I hope he is.

I let Way know that I need to get back to work. He calls me a mood killer before shutting off the Mind Link. For the rest of the meeting—I hardly pay attention. My wolf and I thinking of nothing but Way.

He's been...reserved. There are things that are the same. But a lot of things aren't. Everything was really good after our Ascension. For a while, I didn't think that anything was amiss. Then small things started happening a week or so after. Stupid things that no one seemed to notice except me.

Like Way wearing long sleeve shirts as the weather was getting warmer—not colder. Or how...he doesn't play the piano every morning. The first day I woke up to the sound of nothing and I panicked. I thought something happened to him, but he was just sitting on the piano bench—a glazed expression as he stared at the keys but couldn't come to play it. I played it for him.

For once in my life, I tried to get him to open up to me. With Way and I—we've always been able to read each other. I found myself struggling to understand what was happening. I could feel his despondency. His lack of energy as he struggled to get out of bed in the mornings. He even admitted a few things to me.

He told me what it felt like to be under Diana's song. He told me she tried to sleep with him, but he refused. He even promised me that they didn't make it anywhere truly past second base, but he had to stop talking because he started to have a small panic attack. After comforting him to sleep, I went on a long long run. Nothing was helping my anger simmer and I had half a thought to blow something up. Steven stole some fireworks and explosions, and we shot them at the ocean together as a form of therapy.

Regardless, I saw Wayan's signs. Each day he was getting worse and he was shutting down. He only spoke to me and even that started to become a one-sided conversation. Me trying to get him to open but he'd clamp. He stopped talking to his parents willingly. Stopped smiling...laughing...

Then...about three weeks ago...there was the incident.

We were all worried about him at this point. And honestly, we didn't know what to do. It's difficult seeing someone who's been so happy their entire life...crumble.

I know I was the only one keeping him together. Wayan was waking up with nightmares. He'd be panting for breath—reminding himself that he wasn't drowning. Because apparently those were the dreams—of him under water.

Sometimes if he woke up silently, he'd shake me awake. "Baby wake up," He'd beg. "Please wake up, Kole."

"Way, what's wrong?" I'd instantly be embracing him, and he'd let out a massive breath he'd been holding.

"I thought..." He'd close his eyes as tears would spill out. His voice cracking, "I thought I killed you."

"No Way," I'd remind him. He'd bury his face into my chest, and I'd hug him there. "I'm right here. You know it'll take a lot to kill me. I'm Kole motherfucking Hurley."

That'd get him to smile. At least enough that he'd fall asleep. And I cherished the moments his sleeping was soundless.

Sunday mornings is family day. It means Rebecca, Marcus, Paula, and even Steven come over for brunch. We make pancakes, eggs, bacon, and a whole lot of Pop Tarts. Marcus will sometimes make French Toast, but after eating Matthew's French Toast, all others are ruined for me.

I was up before Way. He had hardly slept the night before which meant I hardly slept. The bags under his eyes quite visible and I'm sure mine were too. We were used to partying late. But when we'd party, we'd sleep in. Now we're constantly having to wake up early too.

I step down the stairs, already meeting our family in the kitchen. "There's sleeping beauty," Marcus grinned at me.

I shot him a glare and even my wolf was growling annoyingly. She's been on high alert. Her instincts tailored entirely to our Mate who isn't doing well.

"My mistake," Marcus held up his hands almost in surrender.

Paula frowned at the sight of me, "You alright, Kole?"

"Just tired." I yawned as I took a seat at the counter.

Steven eyed me carefully until he finally opened the Mind Link, Another rough night?

I didn't dignify him with a response, I just looked down on the counter. My wolf and I desolate. We don't know what to do. All I can do is be there for him. To keep being there for him. To remind him who he was and who he is.

"Well," Rebecca pushed a smile. Her attention on Steven and me, "I'm holding a banquet this weekend. You're both, of course, required to be there as Luna and Beta."

"I'll drive." Steven and I both called out together.

He pointed at me and glared, "I'm not getting on a motorcycle with you. Hell to the no."

"Live a little, Steven." I smirked at him.

We heard his footsteps as they trudged down the staircase. Everyone falling silent as Wayan came into the kitchen. He hardly glanced at us as he went straight for the fridge. My wolf whining and I could see the concerned looks on Marcus and Rebecca's face.

Wayan had lost some weight. Despite me making sure to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him. He just argued that he wasn't ever hungry and after a few bites of food, he'd call it in. I'd still get him to smile and joke around. And maybe, I should have brought up more serious topics. He's avoided talking about Diana like the plague but whenever he did talk about her, it'd weigh on him.

"Sorry I'm late," Wayan tried to push a smile as he turned around to face all of us. Drinking straight from an orange juice carton. "I'll clean up the pans. Everything smells amazing."

I hope he eats some today, My wolf whined.

He walked over to the double bowl sink. The pans all on the left as he filled the right bowl with water. All of us watching him—unsure what to say. Actually, we were all incredibly thankful when he turned to us and asked a question.

"What were you all talking about?" He asked most definitely out of politeness.

I lighten the mood—because I honestly think that's all I'm good for. "Steven doesn't want to get on my motorcycle with me because he's a goddamn pussy."

Steven's face flared slightly, "I'm sorry I don't have a death wish!"

The smallest of smiles etched on Way's face. "Sorry Steven, I gotta agree with Kole on this one."

"You're just agreeing with her because she's your Mate." Steven mumbled under his breath.

Way crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't get dressed into his daily clothes which means he's in his tank top and sweatpants. His arms exposed and I'm surprised to see it that way. I've been avoiding his arms...

"Where are you guys going?" He asked innocently.

"Mom is having a banquet," Paula pitched in. She's smiling at her older brother. A kind and soft smile like she's approaching a kitten.

Even Paula has been stopping by more often. She likes to bake and countless times over the past weeks has she come to drop off cakes and cookies and a whole other array of goodies.

I've also had the chance to hang out with her more. I think me being away made her miss me which actually makes me happy. Her school formal dance is coming up at the end of the semester and she took me shopping to pick out her dress. It was fun. Rebecca and I went with her to balance each other out. I made sure she had something modern and chic and Rebecca was there to make sure it wasn't slutty.

I tensed at the mention of a social event. Wayan hasn't really wanted to do anything social. The last time he went out was a night he, Steven, and I went into the Port right after we all Ascended. The band was with us that night and I think having his friends around really helped him.

Coming back to the Port meant facing a lot of demons he might have not been ready for. Like the ocean. Right now, Wayan can't stand the ocean, which means he hardly ever comes up to the lighthouse.

Paula met Wayan's empty stare, "I made sure mom puts you in the back. So don't worry, you don't have to talk to a whole lot of people."

With hardly a beat, Wayan was already shaking his head.

"No," His entire body turned towards the sink. Our view of him changing to his back. "I don't want to go."

"Wayan..." Marcus' took a breath. "Son, you're the Alpha now. This is expected. Everyone...misses you."

I had to admit, Wayan hasn't been particularly active with his Alpha duties. Even though he has the aura, the power, and the official title, Marcus has been keeping everything afloat. Steven and I helping as much as we can—but without Marcus—the pack would likely have fallen into disarray. The pack and our trade.

"I said no." Wayan's voice started to elevate. His entire body tense as he shut off the faucet over the now full sink.

"He doesn't have to go." I pushed. Already standing on my feet. My voice piercing and trying to convey with my tone to drop it. Eyes narrowed at Marcus. "Steven and I are enough."

Marcus eyed me. He hesitated but gave me a nod, "Alright."

"Wayan honey," Rebecca's voice was soft as she walked over to Wayan. It seemed incredibly comforting, and I saw Wayan somewhat swayed by it. His body relaxing to the sound of his mother's voice.

Then she put her hand on his forearm. My entire body tensed. My wolf growled in the back of my mind.

"Rebecca—" My voice cut off.

Rebecca said it gently, but it didn't matter. Wayan's eyes were now wide. His entire body started trembling. His mother gave a command, and he didn't give her the opportunity to finish it, "You need to—"

Need to go? Need to get help? Need to sleep? It didn't matter. Wayan sucked in a breath and before anyone could do anything, he sunk his head under the water in the sink. My heart stopped at the sight of it. My entire body froze like never before.

"Wayan!" Marcus lurched forward.

Wayan's nails had turned into claws as he kept them gripped on the side of the counter to anchor himself. His entire head underwater as he screamed into the sink. Bubbles appearing and water thrashing over the counter. Marcus tried pulling him out, but Wayan wouldn't budge. He kept screaming and screaming under the water as he tried to drown himself in it.

Rebecca's hands were on her mouth as she took a few steps back while Steven also launched himself to help Marcus. Both of them grabbing Wayan's arms as they pulled him away. His breaths gasping and heaving as water soaked his entire body. Screams and yells coming from deep in his chest. I quickly rushed as well, but as soon as Wayan saw me, he started panicking more.

"No!" Wayan screamed and tried to pull his arms away from his father and Beta.

"Way," I stepped into his space. Avoiding touching him in fear it might set him off more.

"NO!" Wayan forced himself forward. Trying to dunk his head into the sink again. "Get away from me! Please...please..."

"Way!" I cupped his face, redirected his eyes on me. His entire body freezing as he stared at me with wide eyes.

My wolf whines, Don't use commands.

Keeping my gaze on Way, I instructed Marcus and Steven without a command. "He doesn't need you to hold him down."

Steven seemed to understand. They did as I told them too—letting him go. With slight hesitation. But Wayan didn't move. He just stood there, shaking uncontrollably as I held his wet face in my hands.

"Way..." I made sure his gaze didn't fall from mine. "It's me. It's Kole. It's really me."

His bottom lip quivered. Hazel eyes full of pure terror. Wayan's sobbing started to rock through the house. His shoulders shaking with each sob. He hasn't cried this way at all over the weeks. It was only a matter of time but he's crumbling fast. Heaving and glancing at the sink of water like he wants to let himself go. Like the water is the answer to make all his pain go away.

"Please just let me drown." He cried, "I can't live like this. Please Diana, drown me. Let me go. Let me drown. Don't use her against me."

Wayan slowly sank to his knees and my body was in shock. He pressed forehead against my stomach. Sobbing uncontrollably. "Diana please," He begged. "Drown me. Please...please..."

Nothing could have prepared me for that. I might as well have been punched, kicked, and thrown to a school of hungry sharks because it tore me. It made me realize the extent of what's been happening. He still thinks he's under a Song. He's drowning and I don't know how to help him.

My breath caught and I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes. My wolf begging me to help him. I wish I could. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to pull him out.

I've been trying. I've been listening to him and letting him decompress with me but I'm not enough to help with this. I make sure to do things that he would like to do. We watch cartoons every night until he falls asleep. I play his favorite music in the background, so he knows that this is the real world. Sometimes, I take him on drives in the Jeep down the coast. But he's lost and no matter how much I try to map his way back, he's struggling to find his way.

Wayan flinched when I gently took his hands. A man whose primary love language has always been physical affection—now afraid of being touched. It's his hands, his arms. I've noticed how he retracts them. Always redirecting my hands to his chest or abdomen. To his shoulders. Places she never commanded him with.

I sank down on my knees to level myself with him. Placing his palm over my heart, letting him feel how it beats for him. How it broke at his words. I was wearing a tank top too and glad his palm was against my bare skin.

Licking my lips to told him with an unsteady voice, "Only one person in this entire world calls you Way. And that's me."

For a few seconds, he let the words sink in.

"Kole..." Wayan's eyes searched mine. Fear overcasting them. His voice hiccupping, "I can't tell if it's really you."

I pressed his hand harder against my chest. The Mate bond ignited in my body. Little jolts of electricity and whisps of fire burned between us. I let it flow into him. Let him feel how real this is. It's not a hazy daze, it's shocking and invigorating.

Wayan's body slowly relaxed. His head sunk down until our foreheads were touching. "Your eyes..."

"Are real, Way." I reminded him.

He repeated it, "You're real...?"

"Yes..." I tried for a joke. "My boobs are real too. I promise they're naturally perky. It's why you love them so much."

His breath caught and more tears started streaming down his face. More definitively he said, "It's you."

"Yes, Way."

Wayan scooted away like a scared animal. Pushing his fingers through his hair as he tried to compose himself. His eyes glistening with tears as he stared at me and his family. I couldn't even make the move to look over my shoulder at them. I don't have to look to know how horrified they are.

"Why did you all leave me?" Wayan's voice cracked. "Why did you leave me with her? Why did you let her touch me? I don't...I don't know who I am anymore."

My wolf retreated into my mind—whimpering away. I sucked in my lips because I know he's right. Wayan would have never left my side, but I left his. I ran away to the Valley. Then I just ran away. Since I've been back—the guilt has been eating me alive.

If I had stayed, Diana wouldn't have had so much control over him. Killian told us that Diana wanted to get rid of me because I was diminishing the power of her Song. She must have known we were Mates. Wayan could only pull in strength to disobey her if it meant helping me. And when I was gone...it only made it easier for her to control him.

Seeing him right now...I'll never forgive what those people did to him. What those Rebels have put him through.

Before any of us could have responded, Wayan shelled his head with his arms. Sobs racking through his voice as he pressed his side into the corner of the kitchen. His knees folding up to his chest as he started to slowly hit his head against the cabinet wall.

"I don't know who I am." Wayan cried as he slowly kept hitting his head against the cabinet.

I moved closer to him, placing my hands on his knees—a part of his body I knew wouldn't trigger him. Or at least, it was covered by his sweatpants which gives him a barrier. It's why he's been wearing long sleeve shirts. To stop any skin-to-skin contact.

"Way, please stop." I begged him as he hit his head against the cabinet again. My own tears falling down my cheeks.

Please Goddess, I'll do anything to bring back my Wayan. The Wayan who smiled and smirked. The one who loved to party and loved to be the center of attention. I don't know if I'll ever get the real Wayan back, but I'll keep trying. Every single day no matter what. Even if it takes years and years.

"I can still hear her sometimes," Wayan sobbed. He wouldn't look away from me. And to my surprise, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. Letting that Mate bond ignite him. Let it reassure him and calm him. "Kole..."

I pushed the saddest of smiles. My voice nearly failing me, "Yeah Way?"

"I need help." He admitted quietly. Closing his eyes and pulling his knees closer. He buried his head into his legs. Hunched over his body in fetal position. "Please help me, baby."

Trembling, I embraced him. Kissing his head over and over again. Reassuring him that I was going to get him help. That we were going to find something, someone, anything to help him.

Finally, I looked at my family. Rebecca had her own tears that were freefalling. Her hand clasped over her mouth as she tried to contain her own cries. Marcus looked defeated. Sadness didn't even begin to describe what was crossing him. I could see the guilt glistening in his eyes.

Paula's shoulders were shaking up and down. Steven had pulled her into an embrace, shielding her away from Wayan. But even Steven struggled to look at his friend. His throat bobbing up and down as he tried to control himself.

"Of course, I'm going to help you," I kissed Wayan's head again. "We're all going to help you."

Which is where I took him again this morning. We woke up early for him to go see his therapist who has been helping him through it all. Someone that Aiden sent over from the Royal Palace to help Way.

I drove him to his hour-long session. Staying in the car and listening to music while he was inside talking to his therapist. When he came out, I could see his eyes were puffy from dried tears. The energy around him exhausted but also...uplifted. I've noticed a difference even if no one else has yet. It's only been three weeks, but he does seem relieved. He's eating again. And playing music. Small things.

I know Wayan loves me and whenever he does want to speak to me—he will. But I'm not a therapist. No number of late-night talks with me was going to help him. So, I gladly drive him to his sessions because I know how tired he is afterwards.

Dropping him off at home, I switch over to my motorcycle. "I'll be home for dinner," I told him.

"Meeting?" He asked with a small smile.

I nodded, "I have to go talk about trade routes and all other fun Port stuff. So, so, sexy."

Before I could put on my helmet, Way reached out for me. His hand cupping my face as he directed my lips to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck. Completely enamored by his soft, full lips. At least she couldn't take this away...this love.

"Thank you," Way said softly after pulling away.

"For existing?" I couldn't help but grin. "Or for being the best kisser you've ever kissed?"

He grinned back, his thumb running on my cheek. "Both."

"Mmm..." I let my eyes glitter. "I think you've forgotten that I'm the best at a lot of things."

Way hums back, "Like being a pain in my ass."

I couldn't help the small laugh, putting my helmet on. My voice slightly muffled, "I'll be back for dinner, okay?"

"Will you be my dessert tonight?" Way winked at me.

Maybe I'll make you my dessert, Way. I Linked him as I went towards my motorcycle. I let my hips sway slightly, feeling his gaze burn on my ass. A deep growl escapes him, and it made me feel...so freaking excited.

We've made flirty jokes and of course, there's attraction. But Wayan and I haven't done anything third base since prior to the incident. Sex has been off the table for a while. I thought I'd be missing it a lot more than I am. Or that I'd be frustrated. Honestly, I'm just so goddamn worried I couldn't give a shit about sex.

I knew he was going to go to sleep. Every time he gets back from the therapist, he's crawled into bed to take a long-needed nap. Then, he'll usually go spend time at the Kaspian House. Playing music for kids, interacting with children who smile and laugh a lot—it's therapeutic work for him. It helps him remember the simpler times.

My job—it's to help him remember who he is. More importantly, how to laugh. Diana took a lot away from him. But I'll be damned if she takes away his beautiful laugh.

***

I head home once the sun is setting. I wouldn't say it was the most fun I've had but it's what's necessary. I just keep reminding myself that I need the money to keep flowing in so I can support the Kaspian House. And support Steven and I's supply of weed.

"Hey," Steven tugs at my hand before I can get on my motorcycle. "Nice job in there."

He winks at me, "Luna."

I offer him a smile, "Falling more in love with me every passing day now, huh, Steven?"

I'm actually so grateful for him. We've become close—really close. Wayan has always been our collective friend. Our buffer. Now, we're his support system which means we lean on each other too. And...I love Steven too. He's a great Beta.

"How's he doing?" Steven changes the subject to something heavier. He eyes me carefully, "I was going to take him for a run tomorrow. The spot he and I used to smoke weed at when you were gone. Not that I'm going to be putting drugs in his hands. I just think he should remember what a delinquent youth he had."

I smile at that, "I think he'd like that. He's getting there."

Steven's lip purse and he looks out towards the lighthouse, "He still won't go to the lighthouse, will he?"

My heart clenches and contorts. That was Way and I's spot. He told me he never took Diana there. That he wanted to make sure she didn't taint it. But it overlooks the ocean and he's still been struggling to get near the water.

Steven turns back to look at me when I go silent because I can't open up the true can of worms that I've been feeling inside. My wolf helps me push back my feelings. My feelings don't matter right now. What matters is Wayan.

Almost like he can read my mind, Steven places his hands on my shoulders. He frowns, "How are you, Kole?"

"I don't..." My throat feels dry, "It's not about me."

Steven's frown doesn't lift up. The next question he asks—maybe to someone else it would come out offensive but for me—it makes sense why Steven would ask. "How's your sex life, Kole?"

I say nothing because I'm scared. If I open now, I might crumble too. Everything feels really delicate, but I need to be there for Wayan. I need to make sure he's okay. In truth, I'm scared to touch him sometimes. I'm scared I'll trigger him somehow and the last thing I want is to trigger him.

So far, I'm the only person he'll let touch his arms and hands. I let him initiate it though. Because he needs to feel in control. Even if he doesn't say it with him words, I know that's how he feels.

We'll watch a movie together and he'll take his shirt off. He'll grab my hand and slowly drag it down his arms to let the Mate bond jolt him. The little tingles calm him down and let it ground him into reality. But if he were to feel her while I touch him...I think I'd break down. I can't afford to break down right now.

I don't know if my face is stone cold or if it fell but Steven pulls me into his soft embrace. His hand slowly patting down my hair. Despite my wolf helping me push down my emotions and feelings, I can feel her succumb to Steven. I also melt into him—wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Come to me if you need someone to talk to Kole," Steven says lightly. "Please...I can't lose you too."

I feel my eyes pricking slightly as I realize how much he cares. How much this has been weighing on him. He feels guilty. We all feel guilty. I know Steven has been struggling as well. He tried the longest to fight Diana. He knew his best friend wasn't himself. Even lied to Diana to get Wayan to come to the Valley. But he keeps kicking himself for not doing more.

Steven told me that Diana used her voice on him once. That he had been trying to get Wayan to go out with him for some drinks. Nothing crazy, just a bar downtown. Diana touched him and he said that it feels exactly how Wayan describes it. Like you're underwater and you can't tell which direction is up.

"The worst part is," Steven told me that day when he had a low moment. When he cried after Wayan had fallen asleep from one of his therapy sessions. "The worst part is that you didn't even realize it was happening. It was so strong that no sense of logic could help you reason your way out of it. Even when she stopped touching you, it would be forgotten. I never thought twice about it because my brain just...didn't let me."

Steven wiped tears out of his eyes, and we took another swing of some cheap beer we bought. Both of us sitting in my living room, making sure Wayan slept through the night. Steven stays with us sometimes. He's taken over Wayan's old room.

"I failed him." Steven cried, "I don't know how he made it all those months feeling that way. Feeling so...empty."

I pull away from Steven now, seeing how some color has returned to his face. He's been doing a lot for us. I offer him the smallest of smiles, "Maybe this weekend...we can take him to a bar. Somewhere they have live music. Karaoke. He's been doing better. I think he'll be up for it."

Steven smiles at that, "Sounds like a plan."

We part right after. I take the short way home—wanting to be back as soon as possible. The moment I walk into my house, I stop dead in my tracks.

I've never been a sappy girl. In fact, I hate romantic crap. And Wayan knows that. Which is why I'm extra shocked to see a little trail of rose petals leading to our living room. It makes me smile to see they're pink instead of red. I love the color pink—it always makes me feel like Barbie.

Once I round the corner of the living room, I see Way sitting on the piano bench. A bright smile on his face like he's been waiting for me. I chew my lip—letting my eyes look over the room. There are frames I've never seen before that have been nailed into the walls but they're empty. Except for one over the couch that has my mugshot.

"I thought it'd be nice if you filled them with your photography." Wayan says as his eyes glitter.

"Way—"

"Before you tell me to go to hell because I know you hate sappy shit," Wayan chuckles lightly. He stands up, walking towards the coffee table. "I made our favorite. And I'm softening the blow with some of your favorite stuff too."

I take another step closer and let out a small laugh. On the table is a tray of pizza bites. Next to some root beers and Oreos. And just left of that is a new lingerie set. Soft pink like the rose petals he displayed. Sheer and lacy—a two piece with a matching garter belt that honestly makes it seem almost innocent and cute.

My wolf purrs loudly, That's our Mate.

It's another step in the right direction. A small act that has me reeling like never before. I'll take sappy crap any day if it comes from Wayan. My Way.

I look up at Way's hazel eyes. My voice falling short. "You didn't have to do this, Way."

"I wanted to." He steps closer to me, taking a hold of my hands. He squeezes them and for once—I don't think it's because he needs to ground himself. It's because he wants to touch me, and it steals my breath away.

He notices, a tinge of sadness crossing his expression, but he pushes it away. Not letting that soft smile waver. "I'm a mess right now, Kole. I know I am. But you're the only thing that's keeping me afloat. And you have no idea what you mean to me."

I smile back, "I have some ideas...you're my Mate too."

Way leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine. He takes a deep breath to inhale my scent and I let pine and ocean encompass me entirely.

"These last few days," Wayan's lip curls slightly with a hint of mischief. "I've really felt at the verge of combusting, and it made me realize we haven't had sex since..."

Since before the incident.

Way doesn't say it. He just sighs, "And if I'm at the verge of combusting then you've probably been doing ungodly things in those long showers you take."

"You make it sound like I can't keep it in my pants, Way." I scold him. "For your information, I haven't touched myself. Not like I've felt particularly in the mood."

Wayan let's out a soft chuckle and I think a part of him doesn't believe me but that's fine. He trails his tongue on his bottom lip, biting it softly. "I'm sorry that I haven't been..."

I shake my head, snaking my arms around his neck. He takes a breath, and I can tell he's about to say something but I cut him off. Pressing a kiss against his lips. He sinks into it instantly. His arms pulling my body closer to his as I move slowly against him. Threading my fingers through his hair and running my tongue against his until chills run down his back. Until he groans with approval, and I can feel how ignited he is.

His hand slips under my shirt to lay on the small of my back. More skin-to-skin sending our mate bond on fire. My wolf purring loudly in my chest and I know he feels it. His own wolf starting to surface like he's been dormant these last few weeks.

I pull away—realizing I've ended up on my tip toes to get a better angle of him. My eyes searching across his face to see where he stands. Whether we can even take this to more or if I should just leave it here.

"Don't ever apologize." I say it sternly and he nods. "Way...you're my foundation. And maybe you're going through a bit of an earthquake right now. You've helped pull me out of hundreds of earthquakes. I will always...always stand by you. You're my best friend. I love you."

Way's breath hitches. He takes a step forward, pushing me back until my back hits the edge of the piano. The lid on the grand piano is closed so Wayan grabs the back of my legs, lifting me until I'm sitting on the lid.

Way pulls me against him. His lips instantly going for my neck and latching onto the Mark he gave me what feels like years ago. I bite my lip as he sucks the Mark in. Our bond igniting like a fire that has us both moaning with pleasure and untold promise.

"Way..." I moan out. My voice falling short as his hands reach for the edge of my pants. Desire hits me like a truck. I bite my lip—not wanting to get my hopes entirely up in case...

Wayan's eyes have darkened over with lust. "Kole...make love to me."

I can't even stop my eyes from widening. My voice catching in the back of my throat. Way leans forward, pressing his wet lips against my cheek.

"Please." Wayan's voice is soft. I know he's begging but it doesn't sound like his usual begs. It's more desperate in the most charming and endearing way. "Please touch me, Kole. Love me."

It occurs to me that Wayan has taken it slow with me a few times. He's shown me just what I mean to him. Even through all the panic attacks, the moments of weakness, his most vulnerable has been when he makes love to me.

I've never...made love to anyone. And Way knows that. I think he knows it better than anyone else.

"Where?" I ask just hardly above a whisper.

"Wherever you want."

"No," I shake my head. Meeting his hazel eyes, "You choose. You tell me."

I like control. I love control. And Wayan loves confident women. But not right now. I've been trying to give him as much control as possible. Every time he tries to deflect control, I give it back to him. He lost it for months on end. He needs to remember what it feels like to make decisions.

Way see's that too. See's what I'm doing and his lips curl into a smile, he kisses me again. Softly. His voice dropping slightly.

"How about you put on that little set I got you," He says against my lips and I grin. "Meet me upstairs in our room. In five minutes?"

"Two minutes." I take his bottom lip between my teeth. Biting down harshly to give him a little nip of pain.

He groans. Rolling his hips into mine and I nearly lose it. His voice deep, "One minute."

"Okay."

I push him off and while he goes up the stairs—I quickly strip off my clothes. Throwing on the beautiful set and smiling as I look down at myself. It's cute. A sexy cute that combines innocence with sin.

As soon as I walk into our bedroom, I notice Way has stripped off his shirt and pants. Leaving him in a pair of black boxer briefs as he sits on the edge of the bed. His eyes lap me over as his breath hitches.

I lean against the doorframe, letting him practically drool. I can't help the smirk on my face as he stares blatantly. My wolf purring loudly.

He wants us, my wolf purrs.

Who wouldn't?

Touché.

Wayan leans back onto his elbows and now it's my turn to drool at the sight of the tent growing in his boxers. Fuck...I've missed him. I've missed that grin. His chest. His arms that he always hides now. I miss him. And Goddess does he look delicious.

I slowly walk towards him, letting him look me over as he becomes a tad bit more desperate. Once I'm within reach, he sits up again, pulling me onto his lap until I'm straddling him.

"Fuck, I've missed you." Wayan eyes me over. I kiss his forehead as he drags his tongue down the center of my neck. A shudder running down my spine. I roll my hips against his and he grips me tighter.

"Where do you want me to touch you, Way?" I ask him quietly. I know exactly where but I want him to say it. I need him to know it's me.

"Everywhere." His voice hoarse. Eyes fluttering shut, "But start with my arms."

I do as he says, gently placing my hands on his biceps. He doesn't tense yet, but his eyebrows furrow slightly. I stroke his arm up and down. Letting my warmth seep into him. Until the frown disappears. Until his breaths are calm.

I slowly lower my hands down his arms. His breathing stifles slightly and his body tenses entirely when I reach his forearms. I brush my palms against the inside of his arm. Running it down his pack Brand—our Brand.

"If you tell me to stop, I will." I encourage him when I feel his anxiety spike. "You can command me if you want to, Way."

His eyes flutter open. Adam's apple moving against his throat. "I don't want you to stop," He says honestly. "But pause."

I smile as I stop moving my hands. I don't grip him or squeeze. I just lay them against his skin. Letting him soak in the electric tingles.

"Give me a command." He asks as his eyes stare at my hands on his arms.

"I'm thirsty." I tell him, "Go grab me some water."

He smirks at that, and it makes my heart flutter. "No."

We sit there for a moment, letting the one syllable word hang between us. It was a stupid command—we both know it. Yet it feels way heavier than I thought it could. Wayan's eyes search over my face. The tension escapes his body almost instantly as realization hits him that he can say no. That he doesn't have to do what I say.

"Un-pause." He says.

I keep moving my hands, reaching for his palms. I lace our fingers together, gripping his hands as I start to slowly roll my hips against his. He leans forward, pressing wet hot kisses on my shoulder. Tugging the strap of my bra off with his teeth. His hands squeezing mine tightly as I grind against him. The feeling of how hard he is for me has me aching all over.

"You're so goddamn beautiful," Wayan grazes down my collar down my breast. He looks up at me through his lashes, "It's so easy for me to believe you're not real, Kole. That this is a dream. I only doubt you so much because...because I can't believe you're mine."

I don't know what to say. I don't have anything to say.

I let go of his hands, placing them on my body so he can touch me. So, he can feel I'm solid and that I'm here. His hands set my body on fire. "Way..."

"You're mine." Wayan cups my breasts and squeezes them. He bites across my collar, dragging his tongue down until he's sucking over the pink lace. One arm looping around my waist to hold me in place while he meets his hips with mine. Both of us groaning and starting to whither with pent up desire and lust. I bite my lip at the feeling of him. Fuck, I've missed him.

"I know I'm here, baby." Wayan lets out a throaty growl. His eyes blackening over. "Because I can breathe when I'm with you, Kole. I can breathe when you're with me."

I reach behind me, unclasping my bra and letting it drop to the ground. Wayan's eyes dilate, and he sinks down to take my nipple in his mouth. I thread my fingers through his hair. My back arching into him desperately.

He takes the garter belt under his finger. Pulling it away before snapping it against my skin that makes me hiss and squirm. His teeth biting down slowly on my nipple before his tongue laps it over. The moan escaping me is animalistic.

Way growls and I push my hands on his chest until his back hits the mattress. I kiss down his neck and body. Down his stomach until I reach the edge of his boxers where I slowly start to pull them off.

"Is this what you want?" I ask him as I pull his band lower. Deliberately taking my time. "Do you want me to make love to you slowly, Way?"

His eyes turn to black as his body vibrates. Trying so badly to contain himself as I toss his boxers onto the floor. Wayan bites down on his lip, throwing his head back the moment I touch him. His breaths heaving.

I angle him upwards, licking up his shaft with the tip of my tongue. A small warning to stop me but he doesn't. He just groans and cries out the moment I wrap my mouth around him. Pushing him down my throat. "Fuck, yes, baby."

My wolf purrs through my chest. I bob my head up and down—relishing over the taste and feel of him. Way's hips slightly coming off the bed, but I push them back down. His hand fists my hair and when I look up at him through my eyelashes there's a dubious grin on his face.

"Pause." His voice carnal.

I grin at his implication. I stop bobbing my head but that doesn't mean I can't lick him all over. It doesn't mean I can't suck in place. Wayan's body coiling as more groans escape his lips while I hollow out my cheeks.

"Un-pause." He pulls me up, searing a wet kiss against my lips. His tongue toying with mine as his hands drag down my body. Fingers undoing the garter belt. Hands pushing down my new underwear until it joins his on the ground.

Way scoots us farther onto the bed. Never once leaving his mouth from mine. My entire mind fogged with his scent, his pleasure, our growing need. My body craving him with newfound desperation.

He needs to know. He has to know how much he means to me. I've never wanted to show anyone how much I love them but that's because I've never loved anyone the way I do with Way. It's always been Way. And yet I'm so afraid. Afraid to open myself to someone because that's not what I do. It's not who I am.

I pull away from our kiss. Staring at his hazel eyes that are burning for me. Way's gaze softens when he notices I'm short on words. He can see that little spark of fear that no one else would be able to detect. The fast-paced intensity slows down to something more...sensual. His hands lowering to my waist to grip on them gently as he rests his head against the pillow.

Show him, my wolf encourages me. He won't ever leave you, Kole. He won't. It's Way.

I know she's right but that doesn't stop me from feeling my own insecurities. I've never had anything this good before. I've never had unconditional love and it scares me beyond measure.

Wayan gulps slightly and I wonder if he can read me. I think he can because he reaches one hand to cup my face. I lean into his touch, and he smiles softly while whispering, "I'm not going anywhere."

My breath catches and I place my hands onto his bare chest. Rubbing my core against him until both of our eyes are fluttering for more. "Me either Way," I kiss the palm of his hand. Reaching down to align him to my entrance.

Both of us gasping at the sensation of me pressing down onto him. My head rolls back as I push my hips down to take him entirely. I'll never get over how amazing he feels. How incredible every inch slides in and how full he makes me feel. And when I roll my hips—the pleasure erupts through my entire body.

Way grabs my waist to anchor himself. His nose flaring as I slowly ride him. I lean forward, not wanting to break eye contact with him as I keep the gradual pace. I kiss him just when he's about to say something. Letting his words mold into my mouth. Moaning around his tongue when I move forward and back.

"I love you, Wayan Hurley." I say against his lips. Our breaths hitching together.

Rolling my hips against his slowly. Moans slipping and whisking together in the air just as connected as we are.

"I love you more than all the trouble I cause." I tell him. Push forward and back. His eyes don't move away from mine.

"I love you more than crude jokes and handcuffs." Up and down. Biting my lip.

"I love you more than late drunken nights and high groggy mornings." I press my forehead against his, his hand pushing through my hair to keep me in place. Our breaths becoming more uneven as I pick up the pace slightly. I close my eyes for a split second.

The sensation of him is intoxicating. Pine and ocean. Pearly smiles. His beautiful laugh. "You feel like my whole fucking world, Way."

"Look at me, baby." Wayan tugs my hair slightly as he balls it into his fist. I open my eyes to greet his hazel orbs. His hips starting to move up to greet my thrusts.

"Don't stop," Way kisses me passionately.

Feeling his tongue slip into my mouth, feeling how much he fills me with passion and love. It fuels me to go a bit quicker, but I keep the depth of it. Until Wayan and I are moaning into one another. Until I realize why this is so different to a fast fuck.

I feel myself shattering. I feel that wall around my heart crack and crumble and disappear. I feel raw and full of emotion that I'm urgently trying to convey in my hips, my hands, my lips.

I want him to feel everything I feel towards him. This isn't "fun," this is desperate. Desperation for him to know how much I need him. Want him. Love him.

"Oh my God, Kole." Wayan groans as I keep riding him. His eyes unmoving and full of wonderment.

"I love you," I tell him again and honestly, I don't know what else to say. I'm consumed in a way I never have been before. It nearly hurts how hopelessly engulfed I am of him. "Way, I love you."

"I know, baby." Way's breathing is erratic. His palm cups my face and I lean into it. My hands on his chest as I push him down to show him. "Goddess, Kole, I love you too."

But I need him to believe me. I need him to know how deep this goes because it's far from superficial or surface level. My heart beats for him and my brain only ever thinks of him. I'm jealous and controlling and I'll only ever feel that way for him, but he loves me for it. He loves me so deeply I could cry because sometimes I don't even love myself.

My legs are shaking, and my stomach is coiling. Wayan reaches between my legs to press his finger against me. The extra stimulation driving me crazy, but I don't move my eyes away from him.

"Don't stop," Way growls.

I've become a heaping mess and whatever I'm saying to Way, I can't even comprehend. I just know the look in his eyes twinkle the more words I speak. His teeth bite down on his bottom lip as he tries to control himself.

He's holding himself back and I know it. I can see he's about to combust and I am too. The pressure inside my body is almost too much. I push down harder—letting it build and build until Way throws his head back.

I lean forward, capturing his grunt and groan in my mouth as I slam down onto him again. The vibrations from his chest and mouth—the knowing I was able to get him to erupt—it crashes into me, and I let out a shrill moan against him.

Even after we've both orgasmed—I keep rolling my hips. Slowing my pace until the only sounds are our panting. I lean down to press my forehead against Wayan's chest. His fingers lacing through my hair.

I don't have any words to say. Everything I had I've given to him, and I don't know what to do with myself. Complete and utter relief courses through me when I hear the sound of his light chuckle.

Way pulls me forward, rolling us over until he's caging my body with his arms. His lips pressing against my cheek. "Steven and Killian call me a lucky bastard," He presses a kiss behind my ear. "A lucky bastard indeed."

My body relaxes even more. A grin capturing my lips as I push my fingers through his hair.

"Don't stop," Wayan kisses my nose. I finally realize what he means. "Don't ever stop, Kole."

Don't ever stop loving me, is what he's implying.

I stare at him, leaning forward and peppering his lips with light kisses. The kind that steal his breath because they're gentle and caring.

"I'll never ever stop, Way." I reassure him.

He smiles softly, "And I'll never ever leave you."

My heart clenches because he knows that's my biggest fear. Even before we were Mates—my biggest terror was—and still is—Way leaving me. I don't know if I'll ever get over my abandonment issues. But I trust Wayan more than anyone in the world. I know he means it.

"You know," My voice shifts. Because everything is too serious. And no matter what, I need to somehow keep some remnants of my wall. "I have always wanted to try anal, so we're going to have to work on that."

Wayan bellows out a laugh. A loud laugh that sounds beautifully into our bedroom. The kind of laugh I grew up with that has always made me smile and feel warm. My wolf purrs at it. I haven't heard this laugh in what feels like forever.

I'm going to make him laugh more. I'm going to make sure he's always laughing. Just how he's made sure my whole life to always put me first.

***

The next morning, the first thing I notice is that I wake up to the sound of Way playing the piano. My wolf stirs with delight. Howling happily at the light tunes he's hitting across the keys. I can't even stop the smile as I rush down the stairs in nothing but his oversized sweatshirt.

He's sitting on the piano bench—fingers grazing fluidly like he never stopped playing. He looks up at me with a bright smile. Putting his hands in his lap he turns to me—head tilted slightly. "Steven told me we're going out this weekend."

My heart drops into my stomach. Maybe that's pushing him too far. "Only if you want to Way," I tell him as I step towards him. He grabs my hips, pulling my body close to him. I push my fingers through his hair.

"I want to." He's resting his chin between my breasts, looking up at me with a little gleam. A mischievous smirk crosses his lips as he closes his eyes with a light purr. "I also want to fuck in the lighthouse again."

That makes me laugh. My head thrown back with utter and complete humor. Wayan's eyes open to the sound of my laughter and it dawns on me that just how I haven't heard his laugh—he hasn't heard mine.

I sit on his lap, pushing my lips to his as I giggle. My hands cupping the back of his neck, his head. Hair. Touching him all over until I feel his erection between my legs.

"Let's go fuck in the lighthouse, Way." I beg him.

"Right now?" He grins.

"Right fucking now."

I'm going to help him find himself again. Find his way. Every day he's remembering who he was. Who he is. And right now, we laugh as we run to the lighthouse. The beautiful, mischievous, naughty laughs of the Alpha and Luna of the Port.