Chry's Point of View

Madaling araw. Hawak-hawak ko ang tasa sa aking kaliwang kamay. Nakalagay naman ang libro sa aking hita, sinusuportahan ng aking isa pang kamay. Dawn's cold breeze brushed against my skin. Sinabayan ko pa ito ng paglanghap ng hangin. Pansamantala akong pumikit.

When I opened my eyes, behind the trees, the yellow rays of the sunrise imitated the sky. One after another, lights from the cabins vanished from my sight. From afar, my ears flinched when I heard different types of sound from the forest.

Gentle rustle of the leaves. Animals groaning and moaning. Right in front of our cabin, sea waves were crashing against the shore back and forth. The leaves from the mystical trees glow like a diamond in the dark.

Tila ba'y isa itong Christmas lights.

Nandito ako sa veranda nang mag-isa. The others are still sleeping. Sigurado akong late na ang mga 'yon magigising. Last night, we were having a dorm party for the new four members of our class.

As usual, si Fuego ang nagluto sa lahat ng kinain namin. Nagkaroon din ng munting inuman. Paano ba naman eh may anak ni Dionysus na kami sa grupo. Dion indeed serve everyone a mind-blowing taste of wine using his awakened ability.

As for me, hindi ako naglasing. Wala sa ugali ko ang pagiging lasinggera. Zeus, probably. But not me. Bata pa lang ako, ito na lagi ang paalala ni Mama.

Napalingon ako sa gawi ng pintuan nang ito'y tumunog.

To my surprise, si Mayumi lang pala. Our eyes met each other. She then smiled sweetly just like the first time I saw it. Naglakad siya papunta sa dulo ng veranda. Muli na namang humampas ang malamig na hangin ng madaling araw.

She close her eyes, and inhaled. But when she opened her eyes, she exhaled. Her eyes drifted to the horizon. Dahilan para mapangiti na naman siya.

"How long has it been?" she asked. Humarap siya sa akin. Me, on the other hand, didn't think twice to pretend I am reading even though the truth is I am paying attention. "You don't know how happy I am to be reunited with my brother―" she paused, "and with you, Mai."

Tila parang baliw na kumabog ang puso ko sa kaba nang tumabi siya sa akin.

Kinuha niya ang tasang hawak-hawak ko, pati na rin ang librong aking binabasa. At inilagay ito sa lamesa. I silently gasped the next thing she did. Hinawakan niya nang mahigpit ang kamay ko. And caressed it the way she did before.

Palagi niya itong ginagawa sa akin noon para pakalmahin ko. And it really worked. Just like when my Mom died. Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntonghininga. And I am pretty sure she heard it.

Ayokong maiyak na naman. Therefore, I held back all the tears that was going to escape from my eyes. Nabigla na lamang ako nang hawakan niya ang baba ko. Using her index finger, she raised my head from looking down.

"I've missed you," she said. Her forehead furrowed. Perhaps, she was surprise seeing me without any emotion. "Don't you miss me?" muli na namang wika.

"I miss you, Yumi," ang pagsuko ko. "But everything changed, don't you agree? Dahil alam kong alam mo rin na maraming nagbago sa sarili natin." Tumayo ako sa pagkakaupo. Dinampot ko ang tasa at libro. Tiningnan ko siya sa mata. "And for goodness sake, I thought you died."

Ang huli kong sabi bago ko siya tinalikuran.

Pero bago pa man ako makaalis nang tuluyan, narinig ko siyang magsalita.

"Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me," she said with her voice filled with sincerity.

Napakagat ako ng aking ibabang labi. I looked up to restrain my tears from falling . . . again. Dumiretso ako sa kuwarto ko. I am not pushing her over just because I thought she died. But mainly because of fear. A fear that gradually awakened from sleeping in my memory.

A fear that can possibly tear me apart.

A fear that can probably leave me alone in the dark.

I am growing up believing that everyone around me disappeared because of me. Growing up throwing questions to my mom who is my father. Growing up with so much insecurities. Tuwing school fair, naiinggit ako sa mga may tatay. Naiinggit ako sa mga batang may kumpletong pamilya.

Pero hindi naman pinaparamdam ni Mama sa akin na may kulang.

She is my mother, and a father at the same time. Pero sa kabila na gano'n, bilang isang bata, hindi ko mapigilang maghanap sa presensya ng isang tatay. On my fifth birthday, mom exerts so much efforts to celebrate with me after with a tiring day from work.

Dinala niya ako sa peryahan. Sumakay kami ng iba't ibang klaseng rides. Kumain nang marami. Hindi niya ako tinitipid. Pagkatapos ng masayang araw, umuwi kami. Nasa harapan na kami ng gate. But a black van appeared before us. Two suspicious men came out and aggressively grabbed me.

Dahil palaban si Mama.

She did everything she could to saved me from them. And that's when my world started to pulverize into pieces. A young mind tainted with blood, watching her mom bleeding and lying upon the ground. Mom survived from the gunshot.

And we both ended up in a place where darkness and cruelty prevails.

"Good morning, Chry!" Nabalik ako sa reyalidad nang marinig ko ang masiglang boses ni Ace. Fortunately, napansin niya ang mood kong dala-dala. "I'm sorry," he immediately apologized.

Ang mga paa ko naman ay bigla na lamang nagkusang gumalaw. The next thing I knew, yakap-yakap ko na siya. The tears that I bravely held back fell upon my eyes. Hinayaan ko na lamang ang aking sariling maging mahina sa mga bisig niya.

Nabigla siya sa una.

Pero niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit dahilan para mas lalong bumuhos ang aking mga luha. Hinihimas-himas niya pa ang likod ko. Rinig na rinig ko rin ang pagsinghot niya na tila ba'y dinadamayan niya ako.

Kahit na wala siyang alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. He never ask questions, but he instead comfort me the best he think he could.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked.

Tumango ako bilang pagtugon. He led the way to his room. Pagkapasok namin ay tumabad sa akin ang kulay ng kanyang kwarto. It mixes with purple, pink, and sky blue. May mga stuffed toys pa siya malapit sa higaan niya.

The ceiling were filled with stars, and flowers. Ang kumot niya ay kulay pink, habang ang bedsheet niya ay kulay purple. Hindi na ako nagulat pa. Kitang-kita naman sa hitsura niya na malinis siyang tao.

Despite having a childish personality.

Nagpaalam muna siyang kumuha ng tubig. Naiwan akong mag-isa sa kwarto niya. Napatingin ako sa study table. May isang picture frame, at sa litratong 'yon may lalaking mahinhing nakangiti sa harap ng kamera.

"His dad . . ." ang pagbanggit ko.

Napaayos ako ng upo sa kaniyang kama nang bumukas ang pintuan. Iniluwa roon si Ace na may dala-dalang isang basong tubig. Tumabi siya sa akin sa pagkakaupo. At saka niya inabot sa akin ang baso. Pabulong akong nagpasalamat sa kaniya.

"He's pretty, right?" ang sabi niya. I hummed as a response. "Enough with mine." Chills race down to my spine. "What is in your mind, Chry?" ang pahabol niyang tanong.

I immediately gritted my teeth when my heart once again skipped a beat. My mouth seem receded. I can't find words to answer him. And it's as if there's something clogging in my throat, depriving me from breathing normally.

"Hey, it's fine." Tila napansin niyang inunahan ako ng takot. "And you don't have to answer me. Whatever it is, I am pretty sure, you'll overcome it. There's always time for everything." Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya.

So, this is the other side of him.

"Am I a monster?" hindi ko napigilan ang sariling mapatanong. Ace looked at me with a gentle eyes. Sinundan niya naman ito ng pag-iling. "Because my whole life, I felt like I am."

Mas nagulat ako nang idantay niya ang kanyang ulo sa balikat ko. I didn't hate it. Instead, mas lalo lang nito pinapagaan ang nararamdaman ko.

"Chrysos, daughter of Zeus," he called me by my demigod name. "You are not a monster."

Napakagat ako ng aking ibabang labi. Tears once again threatened to escape from my eyes. Simple words, but it caressed my heart with a great amount of sincerity. Humiwalay siya sa pagkakadantay sa aking balikat, at tinignan ako sa mata.

"May halimaw bang ginagawa ang lahat ng makakaya niya para protektahan ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya?" ang tanong niya. "May halimaw bang nagpapakita ng galit, at takot kapag nasa panganib ang mga kaibigan niya? May halimaw bang handang i-sakripisyo ang sarili para sa kapakanan ng nakararami?"

Napalunok ako.

"Monster . . ." pagbanggit niya sa salitang pabalik-balik sa isipan ko. "Alam mo, maraming ibig sabihin sa salitang 'yan. Nagde-depende ito sa kung ano'ng klaseng tao ang ininilarawan," pagpapatuloy niya.

He gracefully tapped my shoulder. A palm filled with empathy, sincerity, and purity.

"You're a monster not because you are purely evil . . ." he said, "but because you have a sense of justice. You have people that you hold dearly and protect."

His movements are so gracefully genuine without any hint of malice. His beauty and smile can induce inner peace.

"That's who you are, kidlat."