I was out of there. Connor and Misty.... it was just too.... I didn't even know what it was. As I walked down the long hallway to Ryan's room I felt sick. I couldn't believe I was going to leave the one good thing I have ever had just because of a feeling but I knew in my small heart that I was going to do it anyway. It just felt right.

I opened the door to what I saw as my utopia. My perfect place. I saw him bent over a desk writing something on a bit of paper. I couldn't help myself. I watched him. He had not yet seen me but I like to see him so natural like when he's a sleep! He was so care free but soon that will be all gone by my one action. The one thing that was going to him hate me and be heartbroken because of the mark he had given me.

"Ryan?" I whispered so low he might not have heard me but he did and turn around with a smile that brighting his face. My heart gave way with grief. What was I going to do? I had to leave but they say home is where the heart is and mine was completely with him. I was never going to feel safe or at home without him! I felt tears coming but I couldn't let they fall.

"Avery!" He said running to me and spinning me around. This was the last time I was going to see him, touch me. Smell his scent and talk to him. Now I really knew what heart break was!

"I love you!" I whispered. He stopped spinning me and looked me dead in the eye.

"Sorry what did you say?" He asked knowing already what I had said.

"I love you" His lips crashed on mine. I poured my sadness, my love and hope that we would see each other again into that one kiss but soon it was over. Too soon!

"I love you too!" He said with a massive smile on his face. That would be soon gone! I hated myself so much!

"Ryan I'm going to sleep in my room tonight. Is that okay?"

"Yeah but why? We're mates!"

"I know it just I don't feel right here in your room!" I tried to explain.

"No I understand!" He smiled a sad smile. I kissed his lip and the smile was brighter. Why was I doing this? "Come let’s go down stairs." He said putting me on my feet and taking my hand.

That afternoon we spent watching old movies. We were sitting on the sofa me on his lap when he said.

"What do you see of the future?"

"What?" I didn't get what he was asking.

"I mean what you think is going to happen in the future? I have dreamed of meeting my mate but I never thought of what would happen when I had you."

"I don't know. I never knew there were mates for werewolves. What do you want?" I tried to cover up that there was no future for us. Not one with me and him being happy! This was as good as it was ever going to get.

"I want a family! I want to marry you and have children. I want this place full of laughter and love." He smiled before kissing me again. I felt a tear fall. That was never going to happen. "Why are you crying?" He pulled back sudden.

"It's nothing! Just remembering my past." I lied once again. My heart was breaking with every word.

"Don't, you'll always have me and I love you so much!" He wiped the tears away which kept falling. I buried my face in his neck.

I woke in my room. It was dark and cold without Ryan. I must have fallen asleep. I checked the clock: 11:30. Half an hour in till Misty would knock.

What am I going to do? My heart was thumping in my chest. I took a piece of paper from the desk and a pen. I started to write a letter to Ryan. I had to explain but not in so many words. If he thought I was doing this to help the pack he would come after me. I just knew it! Maybe if I hurt him, I know I'm a bitch but if I hurt him maybe he would never want to see me again which met that whoever was after me wouldn't come here. My logic didn't sound right but right now I could see no other way of stopping him from coming after me!

Dear Ryan,

Today I told you I loved you... That was a lie. I should never have said it. I do not love you and I wish I had never let you mark me. I never wanted a mate and nor do I now. I truly wish we had never met. This is why I have left. I will only course you heat break. You should try and find someone else. I am the alone girl nothing more nothing less. What made you think I ever wanted you as a mate? If I have led you on I am sorry but this from the bottom of my cold heart: I have never loved you and never will! I am truly sorry and I hope you will find love. I hope I have not hurt you, you have helped me get over my past but now you need to get over me!

I am truly sorry and I wish I had never gave you hope of a mate! I really do hate myself for what I have done. I have left. I am far away where I will never hurt you again. I am sorry but I am a heartless bitch who plays people!

All my love and best wishes

Avery

Ps Don't linger on this matter. Find someone who is worth your love. You'll find someone who will love you and the pack. You'll marry and have children. I will nothing more than a faint memory that will fade in time.

x x x

A tear dropped on the page as I folded in up. I kissed it and left it on my bed. Everything in that letter was a lie but I just hoped he believed it. I should never have come here and I really hope he finds someone better than me to love him.

I truly hated myself!

Then I heard the knock of misty hitting my window. I looked down and there she was dressed all in black and ready to go. I saw the sadness in her eyes and she saw mine. I dropped from the window and landed gracefully in front of her.

"Ready?" She said with a small smile on her face.

"Yep!" I said jumping into the car.

We drove down the long drive. I looked back to see Rohanna waving goodbye. My heart nearly gave out. Did she know was she going to tell Ryan? But she didn't move from the window. She just watched with a small but sad smile. Did she know something?

I felt a burning on my arm. Then Rohanna's voice was in my head.

'I know'

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So what do you think? I know it has been a long time but I just couldn't think what to write. Sorry! I hope you liked it. I was really sad writing this.

Sorry for any mistakes and stuff

Abbiesmith0

xxxxxxx