Okay guys I know it's a long time coming. I'm sorry. It actually was extremely hard to write considering the amount of times I lost my work, but we are here! It's the end of The Air We Breathe. I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks for sticking with me for this long. I hope to start some other stories soon, so stay with me! <3 Manda

Collin

Marcus’s dad was still in town.

How did I know that? Well every so often when I would visit the store with my parents I would see him. He always looked like he was ready to fight some sort of battle in his stupid Armani.  Every single time he saw me he would glare at me, and his blonde slut would give me the evil eye. This is the exact reason why it did not surprise me when I picked up the phone to hear his voice.

“Hello,” The man said through the phone, “Is this the Sanders residence?”

I didn’t respond for a moment. What did he want? Was he going to call me to the back alley, and then beat me up or something? Honestly could the man sink any lower? Couldn’t he just be happy for the son he left behind? Sighing I nervously shuffle from foot to foot, “Yes this is, may I ask whose calling?”

“This is Marcus’s father.” He pauses and I lift a brow at the silence. What did he expect me to real backwards in shock? Funny, but no.

“Ok” I say glancing at the clock, seriously does this guy have to waste my time? I’m supposed to be meeting Marcus at his house for dinner in like fifteen minutes.

On the other side I hear his dad sigh, a really long and insufferable sound, “Listen, I realize that I’ve been bugging you guys for the last few weeks, and honestly I’m not the least bit sorry about it. I don’t want you around my son.  You’re a disgusting freak who’s contaminated my Marcus with your filthy ways. I would certainly love to haul my son’s ass with me back to Hollywood, however, that seems to be impossible at the moment. Either way I’m getting damn tired of hiking around when nobody is listening to me.” I snort rolling my eyes, as I adjust my hoodies zipper. You expect people to listen to you when you’re calling them disgusting freaks….yeah good luck with that.

“So I’m leaving town, which means that I won’t be around to monitor Marcus’s behavior,”

“Sir.” I interrupt in annoyance, “What exactly is the purpose of your call?”

“Yeah alright alright kid, cool your jets, I called to tell you to make sure you keep away from my boy you understand. I think a relationship between men is disgusting, and I would kill you, however I just don’t have the time to waste on this shit any longer. So just stay away from him”

The first thought that comes to my head is, FUCK NO, but I don’t want to waste any more of my time on the phone with this prick so instead I just snort and slam the phone down on its cradle “well then I won’t be seeing you around.” I grin to myself dusting my hands off proudly. The guy was a prick; he ditched his kid and then comes back and thinks he can run his life. That isn’t how the world works, and if he wanted respect as Marcus father he should have treated Marcus with equal respect.

 “Who was that sweetie?” My mother asks stepping into the kitchen. Her hair is up in a messy bun, which somehow still makes her look attractive. Her perfectly manicured nails reach for the fridge and open it to pull out a bottle of vitamin water.

Leaning my butt against the counter I shrug, tapping my converse against the cherry wood floor. “Just Marcus’s dad, informing me that he is leaving town.”

Mom raises an eyebrow as she takes a pull from the water, “Oh really, well that’s lucky isn’t it?”

I nod lazily before pushing away from the counter and walking around to the island to where my mother is standing. “I’m just glad, because now Marcus will stop being so freaking angry all the time.”

Mom laughs turning to look up at me, looking tiny in her pink sports bra and black yoga pants, “Aw someone is feeling neglected!” She coos, her blue eyes shimmering with humor. I frown at her and swipe the vitamin water from her palm.

“Psh, no, I don’t need Marcus.” I lie, stealing a sip of the water and cringing at the taste before sticking the plastic bottle back into my mother’s hand.

“Yeah right,” She snorts, “Are you going to be home for dinner tonight?” She asks moving back to the refrigerator to throw the water back inside.

Okay so I know that I’m a fucking man, and if it was any other guy we were talking about I would probably just shrug or do an equally unimpressive gesture. However it’s Marcus we are talking about here, and although we have been friends for years, I can’t help the little bubble of excitement that builds up in my chest when I think about him. It triggers something in me….something completely lame. “Actually,” I begin leaning my elbows on the counter as I swing my foot happily against the wood of the island, “I’m going to be eating dinner with Marcus tonight, for the first time in a long while.” I sigh dreamily. “He’s a wonderful cook you know.” I quickly tack on.

“Oh yeah?” She grins knowingly, “Well I guess I shouldn’t be expecting you back till tomorrow morning then hm?”

Blushing I scrunch up my nose, “Whatever I’ll probably come home since Marcus is a pussy.” I remark before turning around and heading into the living room leaving my mother chuckling behind me. I stop in front of the mirror to check myself out, adjusting my tank top underneath my hoodie before turning to look at my ass. Yeah I picked the right jeans, there is no way he can say no to me in these fucking jeans. I grin and give myself a little pat on the back. The doorbell rings behind me and I jump a little bit, before regaining my balance. As I walk to the door I give myself a sniff, and mentally applaud myself. I smell like fucking sunshine.

On the other side of the door is a smiling, happy Marcus. He gives me a wink as I shut the door behind me and stand excitedly in front of him. “Hey.” I nod at him, still attempting to maintain my manliness. This makes his mouth slip into a sexy half smile as he pulls his hand out of his pocket to rest on my cheek.

“Hey.” He whispers as he leans forward rubbing his nose against mine gently. I shiver, and wait for him to kiss me but instead he pulls away and turns to jog down the front steps towards his car. I blaze lasers at his back as I follow behind him stubbornly. He never gives me what I want, it’s like somehow he has made it his life goal to defy me. I walk towards him with a scowl as he stands holding my door open. Again, need I repeat myself?

I am not a girl.

I angrily step on the other side of the door and attempt to pull it closed as I get in but instead Marcus yanks it open further pulling me up and stumbling against it, bringing our lips less than a centimeter apart. I inhale sharply, my eyes darting back and forth between his lips and his eyes. He smiles and stares down into my eyes, and then glances at my mouth leaning in closer so our lips barely graze each other, then he smiles and jams his hand into my face shoving me down into my seat.

Oh my god.

Seriously, what the hell is this kid’s problem?

I cross my arms over my chest and stare out my window as he moves around the car to the driver’s seat. I bet he is wearing the biggest freaking smile right now. Marcus pulls out of my driveway turning on the radio on low, before speaking. “So how has your weekend been?” He asks cheerily.

I don’t look at him, I just continue to stare out my window, “Fucking peachy.” I respond in annoyance, wondering why I decided to go eat dinner with him today. Somehow I thought that it would be a nice romantic dinner, and that I could work my seduction magic on him, to coax him into his bed so that he would finally sleep with me. But now I’m thinking that I do not want to sleep with him at all. “By the way,” I remember, “Your idiotic father called to tell me to tell you that he is leaving town.”

Marcus nods his head to the music, “Is that so, well good riddance.” I would celebrate this moment with him, however the rage inside me at his douche baggery is too strong. We fall into an awkward silence as we drive the half a block to his house. When we pull into his yard, I snort. If he wants to treat me like a girl then I will act like one.

Instead of just getting out of the car, I wait for Marcus to come around to my door to open it. He grins and slides out of the car walking around the back of it, giving me the impression that he is coming to my door. I smirk….that is up until he walks right past me jingling his keys in his hand as he makes his way to his front door.

Angrily I slam open his door, not even caring if I dent some precious part of it as I throw it closed behind me and stomp into his open front door, slamming that closed as well. There is literally no part of me that is understanding why he is acting the way he is right now. Like yeah I know that I said I wasn’t a girl, and that I acted like it annoyed me when he would do all that lame couple stuff with me, but really I kind of liked it, and now he is treating me like a complete asshole.  I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table, not even bothering to see if he would pull out my chair for me.

Fine. Freaking fine have it your way asshole, I think to myself as he brings out two bowls of steaming pasta covered in a creamy alfredo sauce. My stomach growls and I momentarily forget about my rage when he sets it down in front of me. The steam rises into my nostrils, and I moan grabbing my fork to dig in. Marcus sits next to me with a grin, the same one he’s been wearing since he picked me up. “Where are your mom and timothy?” I ask shoving the fork into my mouth forgetting all previous anger. Marcus smiles as he watches me eat, “My mom is visiting her sister, and timothy is at the twin’s house, he’s been spending a lot of time there recently.”  I nod as I chew sloppily. Yeah that’s right I’m a man, I eat like a fucking man.

“This is really good.” I comment as I take a sip of the sparkling cider that he set in front of me, simultaneously wishing that it was some type of alcohol so I could get him drunk.

“Thanks, I know Alfredo is your favorite.” He grins swirling his fork inside his noodles before bringing it up to his mouth. “So how are your parents doing?” He asks

I shrug my shoulders completely focused on the pasta, “They’re good, my mom is way friendlier almost to the point where she’s way too nosey, also….I’m pretty sure all this break time is turning my parents back into hormone driven teenagers.” I inform shaking my head, “I don’t even want to tell you what I’ve heard Marcus, it gives me nightmares.”

He laughs a big hearty laugh, and I look up at him, blushing as my heart skips a beat in pleasure. I love his laugh, seriously I could probably live on that laugh alone. I’m so happy just being here, it’s been so long since we have had time alone together. When he asked me to dinner at his house my heart was beating so fast that I thought I was having a panic attack, I was so excited. Now that his dad was gone we could finally resume our lives without worrying about anything.

We exchange fun light banter as we continue our meal, talking about our parents, and timothy, and what things have been happening in their lives recently. We talk about Marcus’s father, and if he would come back to haunt us later on. We talked about school, and all the make-up work we had to do and much much more. I have to say that the best thing about dating your best friend is that you never run out of things to talk about, and even if you do, the silence is comfortable.

When we finish our meals, Marcus stands up and removes our bows from the table taking them into the kitchen. I stand up and head into the living room, throwing myself down onto the couch as I reach for the remote and flip through the channels, stopping it on the classic Alien.  I watch as people get their heads bitten off, or their throats torn open as I wait for Marcus to come back. When he does come in he sits down next to me and swipes the remote from my hand.

“Hey!” I cry reaching to grab it from his hand, however there really is no chance that I will get it back from him since he really is like twice my size. “Marcus I was watching that!” I whine as he flips through the channels, completely ignoring me. Huffing I cross my arms over my chest with a pout, watching as he skips every single good show. Finally he lands on some stupid MTV show, where the girls cat fight, and the guys swear at each other, and swing right hooks. I groan mentally before just going quiet. Marcus is watching it with such attention that I almost feel bad….almost. I sit quietly next to him, watching his expressions from the corner of my eyes, checking to make sure his attention is completely on the show before I look at his hand that is loosely laying over the remote on his lap.

I count to three before I dart for the little black rectangle. My hand closes around it, but so does Marcus’s. “No!” He yells with a laugh as I pull it out of his grip moving backwards across the couch, he grabs my ankle tugging me backwards and I kick out at him getting him right in the gut. He lets out a grunt letting me go and I let out a scream of victory as I attempt to move of the couch, but he recovers quickly grabbing me around the waste.

“No!” I shriek loudly throwing the remote on the other side of the couch before he can get to it. He laughs and pushes me onto the other side of him so that he can make a break for it, but I grab his t-shirt holding back, using it as leverage so that I can crawl over him. Once I’m over him I stretch out to grab it but Marcus climbs on top of me pinning my hips down onto the couch as he grabs my arms and brings He reaches for the remote, but  buck up and it flies out of his fingers and onto the floor. them to a lock behind my back. I would like to say that this is just play full wrestling at this point, however I can’t help but feel incredibly turned on at the way he overpowers me so easily. I let out a gasp as he sits over my back rendering me helpless as he pins my arms. I push him over the couch onto the floor then, get up to run across the room to where he threw it.  I actually have it in my hands before Marcus is grabbing my ankle and pulling me down. I flip onto my back with a Spartan scream, panting as he drags me back towards him, before he can pull me all the way I flip onto my stomach, but before I know what’s happening the remote is getting yanked from my palm and he is sitting on his haunches with success. I scowl and turn around throwing myself on top of him as I throw him backwards and sit on his stomach. He is laughing and panting as he movies the remote back and forth above his head on the ground, sliding it between his hands quickly so I can’t get to it, I feel Marcus ab muscles flexing underneath my crotch and I almost let out a groan. Instead I growl and finally make a dart for the remote only to fall on Marcus and push the remote out of both of our reaches. It slides away on the wooden floor somewhere down the hall.

I would have gone for it again had we not landed nose to nose, both panting and out of breath. I can see sweat beading his temple from the wrestling, and his body rises up and down beneath me so smoothly. We both panted looking into each other’s faces. I wanted to kiss him. Marcus looks at me from half lidded eyes, heavy with lust. I know he won’t make the first move, so without wasting another second I pin down his wrists, and shove my mouth over his. His mouth is hot and wet, and I shove my tongue inside, searching for his tongue. When I find it I stroke it eagerly with mine, letting out a moan as I press my growing arousal down against Marcus’s crotch rubbing against him. He groans into my mouth and I shiver kissing and biting my way down his jaw to his neck where I suck greedily running my hands up his t-shirt to massage his abs. He groans and I feel him twitch in his jeans. And that is it, I want to get us both out of our freaking clothes. I sit up and unzip my hoodie throwing it on the couch above us before I yank off my tank top. I used to be too self continues to do such a thing because of my scar, but I don’t even think about it. I just lean down and push Marcus’s t-shirt over his head rustling his hair as he just groans. I quickly jerk of my shoes and lean up on my knees to pull off my jeans. Then I lean down and speedily pull off Marcus jeans before he can protest sucking my way down his chest. I feel him shiver beneath me as I drag my tongue across his abs, and I’m almost too the pot of gold when Marcus shouts and literally, I mean literally, throws me off of him. I hit the coffee table and groan, tears stinging my eyes at the pain that shoots across my spine.

“Fuck!” I scream sitting up as quickly as I can with my now bruised back, finally at my breaking point. I’ve waited long enough for this day. Marcus still thinks of me as a damsel in distress. He still thinks that he has to guard and protect my virtue, placing some sort of lock on all of my desires. What do I have to do to make him understand that I’m not hurting anymore? I’ve moved past all the crap that happened in my past, or at least I’m trying to. I’ve been going to therapy twice a week and my Dr. told me that having a true and loving sexual relationship with Marcus would help me view myself better. So why the fuck wasn’t he letting this happen? Unless he really is disgusted with me, and he just didn’t want to hurt my feelings. No I refuse to believe that.

  “What the hell Marcus!” I scream at him, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. I hold the salty drops back giving him my best death glare.

He sits up and sighs, running a hand through his hair a distressed look pasting itself over his features. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to throw you so hard, but I thought I told you we had to wait.”

“For what?” I shriek, throwing my fists down on the floor in anger. Here I am basically giving myself to him and he has the fucking gull to say now? “I’m fine!” I shout and him, before stopping to take a deep breath at the look of shock that crosses over his brow. When I stop to breath I can’t help but let the negative emotions fill me up. It tells me that I’m disgusting, and that I don’t deserve Marcus because I’m tainted and used. Before I know it the tears that I was previously forcing back are rolling down my cheeks, leaving wet paths.

“Coll-

 “You know what, if you didn’t want me from the start you should have told me. That way I wouldn’t have wasted all this time on this useless relationship!” I yell at him rising to my feet unsteadily, wincing at the slight throb in my back. “You don’t have to wait any longer Marcus, fuck this I’m done  you can fucking wait for pigs to fly before you’re ever going to lay your fucking hands on me again!” and with that last bit I’m jerking on my pants in a flurry of tears, pain, and anger.

Obviously Marcus doesn’t think I’m serious because he just lets out another sigh, rubbing his hand over his face tiredly, “Collin stop being dramatic,” He groans. “Just calm down and sit on the couch, we can watch Alien.”

“Fuck you!” I reply pulling my tank top on over my tear stained face while slipping into my shoes before I grab my hoodie “Fuck you and fuck Alien. Maybe you can get him to have sex with you, he’s probably less disgusting then me, and less used.” and with that I head towards the front door.

“Hey!” Marcus screams from behind me, probably trying to hurriedly pull his clothes on, “Collin where are you going?”

“I’m walking home asshole, don’t bother getting up, I know it’s a strain for you since you don’t really care what I do anyways.” I shout back at him, mentally great full that we decided to move just up the street because then I didn’t have to walk a mile back to my house. Somehow I’m also glad that none of Marcus’s family is here. I wouldn’t want them to see me like this.

I slam his front door shut behind me blocking out his screams for me to wait. Once I’m out the door I let the tears openly fall, sobbing as I walk quickly down the street back towards my house. Screw Marcus, screw his stupid beautiful eyes, and screw his stupid sexy facial hair that completely turns me on when he rubs it against my neck. Just thinking about that little memory has me letting out a distorted wail, just like a chick. The combination of my depression at the recent fight, and the fact that I am completely lame has me running. Kicking my shoes up into the air as I wish I could blow up every single house on the block with my mind. I feel like if I could just destroy something else, then maybe the pain in my chest wouldn’t hurt so badly. Maybe the tight squeezing around my head wouldn’t have my brain pounding against my skull like the base in some ridiculous dubstep song. Maybe I could finally just lay in bed without having some ridiculous nightmare. Maybe I could find a way to be happy, if I made everything around me less fucking happy. Then my life would seem so much easier.

In just a few minutes I’m bursting through my front door slamming it closed behind me to lock it. I lean back against the door in the dark of my living room. My parents must have gone out, there was no car in the driveway. With a whimper I wipe at my eyes, rubbing my fingers against the swollen soreness. The pain almost makes the stinging in my heart a little less pronounced. I toss my tank top down on couch, not minding the fact that I can’t see my way in the darkness of the house. I’m walking towards the stairs when a loud thump at the front door has be jumping back, throwing myself into the wall behind me.

“Collin!” Marcus yells from behind my front door, “Collin let me in, we need to talk!”  I roll my eyes feeling a silent tear fall down my face. No. If I want to be happy then I have to stop letting myself be lead around by assholes like Marcus. I turn away from Marcus’s pounding fists and make my way up the stairs. I feel around for a hold on the banister to prevent myself from further injury. My back, head and heart are enough for one night I think.

The doors on the landing are all closed and dark underneath the cracks. My parents must really be gone, I think to myself as I head to my bedroom, leaving the lights off so that Marcus can’t tell where I am. I lock the door behind me leaning my head against the wood, attempting to will away the pain. What am I doing? Marcus is my best friend. He is the one person who has stayed by my side through all the shit that I’d been through, even when he didn’t know what was happening. Even when I turned into a crazy person and slept with hundreds of people, he never questioned me.  He just followed me around with a look of honest concern. But I can’t just let myself stay with someone who doesn’t want me. It’s wrong.

It’s wrong for me to keep him on a leash when all he wants to do is get away from all the crazy crap that has been going on. I can’t force him to suffer through my problems with me. Biting my lip I allow myself to listen to the way he calls my name just once more………….only when I actually start to listen I realize that Marcus has gone silent. With a frown I stare at my door.

Did he get tired and leave already? Would that surprise me? With a sigh I turn around to look into my room, reaching up to wipe at my wet eyes. It’s then that a body crashes through my balcony doors.

“Ah!” I scream backing up into my bedroom door, only to realize that the dark figure is Marcus.  Marcus glares at me as he shuts and locks my balcony doors behind him, drawing my curtains closed. After I’ve given myself a minute to recover from the shock I glare back at him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I growl, “How the hell did you even get up here?”

“I’m climbed the tree and jumped onto the balcony, duh.” He answers, not relenting his angry stare.

“Well then you can fucking climb your ass back down, I don’t want you here.” I demand crossing my arms over my chest.

“That sucks because I’m not going anywhere.” He retaliates, “You should lock your balcony doors, who knows what kind of freaks could get in here.”

“Well there’s one in here now, who by the way is going to be escorted out by the cops if he doesn’t get the fuck out.” I snap staying as far away from Marcus as I can, my only comfort being the fact that I’m standing right next to the door.

Despite the fact that I was trying to sound threatening with my last remark somehow Marcus still manages to flash me one of those sexy smiles. “This freaks not going anywhere baby, not until we talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you, let alone be in the same room as you.” I grumble, “What you don’t think I’ll call the cops?”

Marcus smirks, “No, I know you won’t call the cops Collin.”

I raise a brow at that statement before reaching into my pocket to pull out my cellphone. Just as quick Marcus is jumping onto my bed to get to me. I swing open my door and make a break for the stairs simultaneously dialing 911. I don’t even make it to the first step when Marcus’s arms are wrapping around my waste.  “Get the fuck off of me Marcus I don’t want to talk to you right now!” I shout struggling against him. No matter how hard I try though I will never be as strong as Marcus.

“Well that just sucks then doesn’t it, because I want to talk to you?” He grunts as I fight against him, pulling me into my bedroom. He throws me down onto my bed shutting the door behind us.

“Hello?” A voice says on my phone, which is laying a few feet away from me on my bed “911 what is your emergency?” relieved I dart to grab the small phone only to have Marcus push me onto my back and climb on top of me, pinning my arms down with his knees. I hiss in pain at the pressure that is being applied to my arms, watching as Marcus grabs my cellphone.

“Hello?” He says into the phone, “Yes I apologize; my nephew took my cellphone and was playing with it.” I scowl at him, clenching my teeth in pain. Does he want to break my arms? Marcus looks down at me and smirks before he pauses to listen to the other side before nodding, “Of course it won’t happen again, thank you…uh huh…yeah….yes you too, goodnight.” Then he hangs up and throws my phone across the room, turning his attention back to me. “Now are you going to behave or am I going to have to sit like this for the rest of the night?” He asks me.

I roll my eyes and jerk against his knees, “Get off me Marcus, you’re hurting me. “ I reply calmly.

He nods and moves backwards on my bed allowing me to sit up. I do letting out a heavy breath of air, rubbing my thumb against the area on my arms where he dug his knees. “We need to talk Collin.” Marcus informs me drawing my attention, “Back at my house, you said something that made me really angry.”

I snort, and Marcus scowls before continuing. “Why is it that you always act like I don’t love you, like I don’t care about you when all I ever do is strive to protect you?” He asks seriously.

“Because you never want to be with me,” I whisper rubbing my arms self-consciously “Whenever I make a move you just push me away, it makes me feel like you don’t want me because I’m used.”

“But you know that’s not true Collin, I love you more than anything in this world, I just want to keep you safe.”

I look up at him seriously, “From what, Marcus I want to be with you. Do you understand what I’m saying? I WANT YOU.” Much to my surprise Marcus flushes and looks down at his hand which is picking at a loose thread on my bed spread.

“I know that, but I don’t want you to rush things. I want you to be sure that you’re okay after everything that has happened, before we do anything serious. Collin I don’t want to scare you. I don’t want to hurt you.” Marcus grabs my hands in his bringing them up to kiss. “I just want you to be sure that you’re ready, it isn’t the type of thing that I can just do selfishly.”

I lean forward slightly looking into Marcus’s eyes, reaching my hand up to stroke his cheek, reveling in the warmth of his skin. “It’s not selfish, I want you more and more every single day Marcus. I want to feel what it’s like to be held by someone who actually loves me.” Marcus looks up into my eyes, and for a moment we just stare at each other, examining the color of our eyes in the moonlit room. Marcus licks his lip and pushes me back slowly onto my bed, moving himself between my legs as he wraps his hands around my thighs pushing them up around his hips. I let out a shaky, excited breath as I watch him. He seems so damn sure of everything, almost like he’s done it before. My heart clenches in my chest as he leans forward burying his face against my neck kissing my skin briefly. Just sweet little pecks as he makes his way up to my ear.

“You are sure about this Collin, because I’m warning you…..once I start…I’m not stopping,” Marcus breaths heavily. I shiver at the warmth of his breath on my ear lobe, and vigorously nod a reply. God yes, I’m so ready. I reach up to massage the back of Marcus’s neck, digging my fingertips into the tufts of his hair.

He moans, the vibrations moving into my skin as he kisses his way down my throat, biting and sucking until my skin is sore wherever his mouth touches. It feels like my skin is on fire as Marcus’s hands massage my thighs that are wrapped around his waist moving upwards. His palms briefly squeeze my behind and I let out a little gasp of shock.  His fingers feel underneath the hem of my shirt briefly before plunging underneath the material to rub across my stomach. He presses over my muscles and massages my flesh moving upwards to pull my shirt over my head.  He smiles as I push his hands away and sit up pushing him back onto his knees as I pull the material over my head greedily, before I claw and tug at his t-shirt.

“God, someone’s eager” Marcus chuckles deeply as he helps me to remove his shirt.

“You have no idea.” I pant with a small moan as his tan, toned abs come into view in front of my face. I lean forward and run my tongue over the dips and curves of his skin, enjoying the original taste of his skin on my tongue. I drag my teeth down on his skin and he gasps digging is hands into my hair to yank me backwards and push me down on to my back. When my back hits the soft sheets of my bed I groan in frustration at being pulled away from what I was doing, but Marcus soon has me forgetting.

He leans down and rubs his tongue over my nipple before completely enveloping it in his mouth. I mewl in pleasure. Which is extremely lame, but what can I say it’s the heat of the moment.  It feels so good, and strange when he nips and bites at the sensitive skin, rubbing his tongue over the soreness to sooth the sting before doing it all over again. At the same time I feel his hands travel to the button of my jeans popping it open. Then his hands are pulling and yanking at my pants, until he can’t get them off any further, he pulls away from my nipple and throws my legs up over my head yanking them off around my ankles as I give a surprised laugh.

“Oh my god!” I squeal letting my legs fall back down to the bed, everything is happening so quickly. Marcus pushes himself off of my bed to stand and undo his pants dropping them to my carpet, along with his boxers.  My eyebrows shoot up into my hairline when I see how well strung he is. Holy shit that thing is for real.

There is no playing around here……well I guess there will be.

Marcus smirks as I stare at him with wide eyes in disbelief. I didn’t no he was so HUGE. Not that I’m not a pretty good size, because I totally am. All the people I’ve slept with love the size of my penis, but seriously…..look at it.  “Jesus Marcus, what did your mom feed you as a kid?” I ask in amazement. He laughs and crawls back onto the bed.

“Nothing out of the norm, why, you jealous?”

I snort, “Hell no, I’m not jealous at all, that thing is right where I need it thank you very much.” I joke staring at his erection, and how soft it looks.

“Let’s see yours then!” He cheers darting forward to tug my boxers off. I hiss at the cool air touching my warm crotch, mainly covering myself out of cold.

“What are you doing?” Marcus laughs, “We used to bathe together Collin, now is not the time to be shy.”

I roll my eyes at his comment; the man thinks I’m embarrassed, hah! “First of all,” I begin still covering myself.  “I do believe there have been some physical changes since we last bathed together, second of all I’m not scared I’m just cold. To be honest I’m quite proud of the private parts I was born with thanks, it’s my best quality.”

“Really?” Marcus asks with a nod, “Well I’ll be the judge of it hmm, let’s see how amazing you really are.” He reaches over and removes my hand from crotch, leaning forward to inspect me. Actually it’s more embarrassing then you would think. Being erect, and horny and then to have a man get up close to your private part just to look at it….yeah it definitely makes a person self-conscious.  I twitch and move awkwardly against my bed as Marcus just stares at my erection.  Is he just going to do that all day then or is he going to actually going to say something.

“Hmm, well I think your right it is quite amazing.” Marcus finally says, and I smirk expecting him to come back up and kiss me, but instead he leans down swiftly and takes me into his mouth. I gasp at the sudden feeling of having Marcus’s hot wet mouth surround my hard shaft. His tongue presses against the tip of me, sending tremors up my body as I moan and writhe. “Marcus!” I cry out loudly, arching off the bed only to have Marcus’s large hands slam me back down.  His tongue presses against me rubbing vigorously. I’m so turned on that it only takes me seconds to feel the rising pressure inside me, as I get ready to come. I don’t want to come though; I want him to be inside me first. “Marcus!” I pant pulling at his hair as his head bobs up and down between my legs.

“Mmmmmm?” He moans against me, sending pleasurable vibrations up my erection. I shout out in pleasure.

“Stop, I’m going to come if you don’t stop!” I scream in warning before throwing my head back in ecstasy, as Marcus hollows his cheeks and sucks roughly. That is the moment of no return as I explode into his mouth and let out a strangled cry, seeing starts explode behind my closed eyes.  I revel in the aftershock of my orgasm for a few moments writhing against my sheets. It’s an exhilarating feeling.

When I finally come down from my peak I crack my eyes open. Marcus is staring at me from between my legs his chin resting on my stomach. He looks completely amazed his eyes skimming slowly over my face as I pant from the previous exertion. When I finally have enough breath I raise a brow at him. “Well what are you waiting for?”

The signature grin spreads onto his face and then he is lunging back on top of me, his mouth connecting with mine. His teeth knock against mine roughly for a moment and I gasp in shock. Before he can knock my teeth out Marcus pulls away from me panting and nipping dangerously at my skin. “Do you have lube, condoms?” he asks hurriedly. I nod only to remember that his head is buried in my throat so he probably can’t see it.

“Yes, in the drawer.”

Marcus leans over and reaches across me to the drawer pulling a condom and my little bottle of lube out. Marcus isn’t surprised I guess, since I used to be kind of a man whore. However that lube was never used on me so I guess that will be different. Marcus smiles placing the condom on the top of the bedside table before opening the bottle of lube and shaking some out on his hand. I watch him, feeling a little twinge of fear. Can you blame me? The only time I had ever had a man inside me had been when it was against my will, it was rough and painful and completely lacked any type of love. I didn’t want this to be like that.

“Hey, don’t look so scared.” Marcus’s voice reaches into my head, drawing me away from my closed off state. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks with a look of concern reaching his non lube covered hand to my cheek.

“Yes, I just-I’m afraid it will hurt.” I cringe looking up at him in concern.

“It’s not going to feel like a walk in the park at first, but that’s exactly why I’m using the lube.” He assures me with a gentle smile, “If I prepare you it will take away from that initial pain okay?”

I nod, it’s not like I don’t know that, I just have never experienced it before. Marcus pushes my legs up and leans forward to nip at my neck, the light pinch lulling me into a false sense of security before he is pushing a digit inside of me.

I gasp and bite my lip at the awkward intrusion. Marcus works at adjusting me before adding another finger stretching me even further. I hiss and moan as I feel him scissor and touch some part of me that sends jolts of electricity up my spine. And soon I’m writhing in a mixture of pain and pleasure grabbing Marcus’s face in my hands. I smash my mouth against his kissing him roughly, trying to portray through that one kiss that I am ready. I am ready for him. He grunts and moans as I bite at his lips practically begging him to hurry. He removes his fingers reaching over to the bedside table to grab the condom. I hear plastic rusting and tearing before he is reaching between his own legs, as he roughly moves his mouth against mine. Then he is grabbing my legs up into his arms nearly folding me in half. He pulls away from our kiss and I briefly cringe, waiting for that plunge of pain. My eyes are shut closed tightly my brows drawn together as my muscles tense.

Then there is just a whisper of a kiss. The softest kiss I have ever felt. It literally makes me sigh, releasing all of the tension in my body. Marcus press’s his lips lovingly over mine, sweetly dipping his tongue into my mouth. I moan in pleasure, the fact that he is going to pile drive into me at any second completely leaving my mind. That is until it is actually happening.

Marcus does it as gently as he possibly can pushing into me sweetly. I hiss at the pain, latching onto his shoulders, as he breaks through me. When he is finally in, we are both panting. Me from the pain, which I’m sure would have been infinitely worse had he not prepared me. Marcus from the strain of holding back the desire to rut inside of me. Together we remain stationary just breathing, holding each other. I feel him pulsing inside me, hard and hot. I can’t help the rising desire for him to move. “Marcus.” I whisper, and that is all I have to say he is gripping my thighs and thrusting languidly inside of me. He is gentle and yet somehow manages to have me mewling underneath him. Maybe it’s because I’ve never experienced this type of gentleness, but somehow it arouses me even more. This fact is a little emasculating, since I am a man and I’m rough and sporty and competitive. This princess stuff just isn’t supposed to make me so hot like this, and yet somehow it does. I think actually more so then it would have it he would have been pile driving roughly into me.

“Marcus!” I scream as he hits me in that special spot, the friction of him inside me driving me wild. He moans kissing my forehead, running his lips gently over my face. I moan and writhe digging my nails into his shoulders. My chest feels like it’s about to explode with all the emotion I have inside of me. Marcus is here, and he is with me. He actually loves me, and we are in my room together right now showing our love for each other. Before I can stop myself, I actually start to cry. It’s not a painful cry, it’s an “I love you so much that I can’t express it in any other way” type of cry. Silent tears that run down my cheeks as we move and undulate together on my bed.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Marcus asks in concern, stopping his hips reaching up to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

“Nothing, I love you so much.” I whisper pulling his face down to mine so we can lock lips again, encouraging him to move. He pulls away and stares down at me, before brushing hair back from my face.

“I love you too Collin, more than anything.” He pants then presses his lips to mine again, grabbing my hand in his as he move into me again. I moan and pant and gasp, beneath him, feeling the rising imminence of my orgasm. I can tell Marcus is reaching his peak as well, because his grunts and groans are reaching an all-time high, he is moaning my name after every other thrust. I can tell he wants to go a little bit faster by the way he clenches his hands around my thighs, but I know he doesn’t want to hurt me, however I’m becoming impatient as well so I tell him as much, assuring him that it is quiet alright to go faster at this point. He groans in relief then picks up his pace, I brace my hands against my bedframe as he shakes the bed, pushing me further up and into the mattress. I don’t even care about the sound of the wood slamming against the wall, I just moan and groan and then as Marcus starts to jet inside me I scream in pleasure calling out his name to the dark walls of my bedroom.

We chant each other’s names as if they are some sort of prayer before we both are bursting. I come before I can even process that it’s happening. I see stars and fireworks, and Marcus. He buries his face into my throat and literally growls, it is the sexiest sound I have ever heard in my life. When we come down from our orgasm we collapse. Both of us are exhausted.

“So how was it?” Marcus pants pulling out of me to disperse the used condom into the trash can by my bed. Then he collapses beside me pulling me into his arms.

“The best sex I have ever experienced, with the most amazing guy in the world.” I hum, wrapping my arm around his torso and kissing his chest.

“I said I wouldn’t hurt you didn’t I?” Marcus whispers against the top of my head. I nod, and cuddle closer against him. Before either of us can say another word we are fast asleep.

I wake up the next morning to Marcus moving around, nuzzling his nose into the back of my neck. I yawn and stretch as I feel the sun caressing the skin of my back. The sound of birds singing on the tree outside has me blinking awake, just in time to have Marcus turning me over onto my back. He smiles when he makes eye contact with me, laying his chin onto my stomach. “Hey beautiful.”

The nickname has me blushing and I scowl in embarrassment, but deep down I adore it. “Hi.”

“I think it’s time to get up, I heard your mom and dad moving around downstairs.” He informs me sitting up, allowing me to do the same.

As soon as I sit up the fire alarm goes off and I laugh, “Yup that’s my mom for sure.” I nod at Marcus, only to stop when I see the concerned expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” I ask him leaning forward to run my hand over his scalp. I don’t like to see that expression, he usually is so self-assured that when he acts like that it makes me a bit uneasy.

Marcus fidgets cutely for a moment, then shrugs, “Do you think your parents are going to be pissed?” That’s it? He is worried about that? I mean they probably didn’t even know he was here! They weren’t even home by the time we had finished last night. “Well if you’re worried you can get out through my balcony.” I offer.

To this Marcus just shakes his head, “No, it’s no use, my car is in your driveway they probably already know that I’m here.”

“Oh,” I sigh, “Well, whatever, I’m not about to regret last night.” I tell him as I rise from my bed, letting the light white sheet fall from my hips to the floor. As soon I attempt to stretch pain shoots through my spine and I gasp doubling over for a moment. Marcus jumps from my bed in all his naked glory to come to my side.

“Are you okay?” he asks grabbing me around my torso to help me regain my balance. I shiver at the feeling of our bare skin touching. God, he feels like heaven. With a smirk I nod, “Yeah, it doesn’t hurt that bad.” He smiles down at me but I still see that little twinge of uncertainty in his face. I reach up and grab his face in my hands, pressing my lips against his sweetly before pulling away, “Hey, do you want to shower together?”

Marcus’s eyebrows shoot up, and I see the hint of a smirk on his lips. “Yeah, it probably isn’t a good idea to go downstairs to see your parents smelling like sex.” He reasons before grinning and pecking me a kiss before dragging me into my bathroom.

When we finish our shower….after some touching and playing around, Marcus and I get dressed and then begin our trek towards the stairs. However Marcus is so intimidated that he refuses to hold my hand as we make our way down, unwilling to make the situation worse than it already may be.

The first thing I see when I reach the landing is my mom, dressed in her pajamas sizzling bacon over the stove. She looks up at me and Marcus innocently. We make eye contact for a few minutes before she is turning away to continue cooking the bacon…in silence. Marcus gives me a horrified look and I just shake my head grabbing his sleeve in reassurance.

Then someone clears their voice, and I turn around to see my dad opening up the newspaper. “Hey boys why don’t you come and have a seat.” I nod and drag Marcus behind me. Before I can pull out my own chair he is doing it for me. Like the prince charming he is. I scowl at him for depriving me of my masculinity, then sit down and allow him to push me in. Afterwards he sits down and immediately finds some unnerving interest in the glass of orange juice set in front of him.

I ignore his awkward silence and begin to pile pancakes onto my plate, drenching the goodness in sweet syrup. Right as mom comes over with a plate stacked to a peak with bacon. She sets the plate down right in front of Marcus and says, “There you go sweetie, eat as much as you want, there’s more where that came from.”

Marcus smiles and nods turning away from his juice to grab some bacon as I pile pancakes onto his plate for him. He smirks at me and I give him the best beaming smile I got before I turn to my pancakes “So where did you guys go last night, I thought you were staying home?” I ask curiously as I shove a fork full of pancakes into my mouth.

Mom nods as she unfolds a napkin placing it on her lap, “We did.” She says.

I raise a brow, “Uh no you didn’t.” I say, thinking back to the dark abandoned house that I entered the night before. It lacked any sign of life what so ever.

“Yes we did.” Dad says setting down his newspaper to lean back in his chair. I stop eating immediately shocked.

“We had gone to bed early when you came home, I actually almost sent your father to check up on you after I heard all that yelling.” She informs me as she begins to pull food onto her plate. “But he told me to wait it out, see if you guys could solve your problem by yourselves.”

Dad nods, “And I was right wasn’t I, you guys definitely, without a doubt solved your problems.” It is hard not to catch the implication in his voice. My mind is blown and I seriously feel so embarrassed I could die right here.

“Wait so you guys heard us?” I ask in distress.

Mom bursts out in laughter and that is all the answer I need, I groan in embarrassment clutching my head in my hands. Marcus has abandoned all fear at this point, in its place is his love of food. At first he was cowering in fear at the thought of my parents, but now it is all wiped away by a few slices of bacon. Wow.

“Good job Marcus, I knew you wouldn’t keep my son waiting too long.” Dad congratulate, and Marcus actually smiles, the same smile he uses when we win lacrosse games. It’s his victory smile.

“Thank you sir.” Marcus nods.

Could this situation get any worse? My boyfriend and my dad? Really? “Oh my god you guys stop it right now!” I growl at the bowing my head in an attempt to eat my breakfast without being simultaneously humiliated. Never again would I assume that my parents weren’t home. Never again.

After breakfast Marcus leads me out to his car. “I have something to give you.” He tells me as he opens his passenger seat and reaches into the glove department where he pulls out a small envelope. “I was going to give it to you last night after I brought you home from our date, but…well we both know how that turned out.”

I nod leaning against him as he backs up against his car, “We both know that the end result was better.” I grin wrapping my arms around his waist leaning up to kiss his chin. He chuckles and nods.

“I can’t disagree with that, but I still wanted to give this to you.” He says seriously, “It’s really important, and represents us.” I like how he says that…us.

“Alright.” I nod stepping back as he opens up the envelope. He pulls out a picture and I gasp when I see the picture he took when I first moved into the new house. The one of us kissing together. “Oh my god this goes in my picture frame!” I gasp excitedly.

Marcus nods watching me as I take the picture from his hands to admire it. “Yeah, it’s the finishing stage.” I feel tears sting my eyes as I think about the meaning of this picture. Most people wouldn’t think so much about it but to me, it means a lot. “It’s our stage, after everything that happened. You know I feel like it’s the point where you actually started breathing you know.” Marcus shrugs. “You started to live, and I want us to remember the beginning of our relationship together forever.”

I have to hold back my tears from falling. It’s true that before I was never really living. I used myself, and let others use me so that I wouldn’t have to live. I didn’t want to face the painful reality that was my life. But after everything that has happened, after achieving what I have in my relationship with Marcus…I finally have a reason to live.