From August 5, 2016

It's that time of year again: yet another unsuspecting novice Odd Squad agent has grown overly curious about audience reactions to the hit TV show, inevitably Googled such responses, found and clicked on the link to FanFiction.net/Odd-Squad, read a poorly-written and highly-inaccurate travesty or two of words, closed the browser window in shock and horror, and proceeded to tell everyone they know about what they have just discovered.

The latest victim of these travesties of words: Agent Olympia of Precinct 13579.

"I didn't at all expect to be traumatized when I got curious about audience reactions to the hit TV show, inevitably Googled such responses, and found and clicked on the link to FanFiction.net/Odd-Squad," Olympia said, wide-eyed and shuddering at the memory. "Instead of enjoying a well-written tribute to our work at Odd Squad, I read a poorly-written and highly-inaccurate travesty or two of words, closed the browser window in shock and horror, and proceeded to tell everyone I know about what I just discovered."

Her partner, Agent Otis, watched the whole thing happen from his desk.

"She told me she was really curious about audience reactions to the TV show. So inevitably she Googled such responses, found and clicked on the link to FanFiction.net/Odd-Squad, read a poorly-written and highly-inaccurate travesty or two of words (is that what you told me to call it?), closed the browser window, and started telling everyone we know about what she'd just discovered. I guess she looked shocked and horrified, yeah," he said.

As every agent knows, two years ago the hit show Odd Squad was launched on primetime television on November 26, based on actual cases solved by our own global government organization. Nearly a month later on December 29, the first of what would become hundreds of "fanfics" (i.e. grossly-inaccurate stories which are written by fans of the TV show who are not affiliated with Odd Squad in any way, shape or form, and which tend to corrupt the minds of the poor souls who read them) was published, and the rate has not slowed down since. 

Those who were already members of Odd Squad at the time were wise enough to know to stay away from these "fanfics". Unfortunately, many of the newer agents who have joined the squad since then have not been as sensible. Olympia is only the latest in a long line of mind-scarred victims, as the other agents whom she subsequently reported to well know.

"I suspected something was up around the thirty-seventh hang-up call [that I got from her]. They all said something like, 'Were you and Olive... Did you and Olive... You and... Olive... I...' and then CLICK BEEEEEEP! But I didn't find out why until after the seventy-third in a row, w-when her partner finally called me and explained everything, heh!" Agent Oscar, recently elected the new President of Scientists, reported. 

He suspects the abomination she'd chosen to read was that known by the title Olive's Last Partner, of which both President Oscar and Ms. O of Precinct 13580 (formerly Agent Olive) have continued to deny any truth value.

Ms. O also agrees that the presence of fan fiction spreading lies about Odd Squad is growing into a bigger problem by the day.

"I remember when my own partner [Agent Otto] first discovered the TV show, grew overly curious about audience reactions to it, inevitably Googled such responses, found and clicked on the link to FanFiction.net/Odd-Squad, read a poorly-written and highly-inaccurate travesty or two of words, closed the browser window in shock and horror, and proceeded to tell me and everyone we knew about what he'd just discovered. Apparently the presence of 'shipping' between him and myself scarred him to the point where he couldn't look at me for a week. I can only imagine what Agent Olympia and other unsuspecting agents might have gone through upon discovery of other, worse fanfics," she said, shaking her head.

The Big O himself agrees something must be done.

"We can't let any more unsuspecting novice Odd Squad agents get overly curious about audience reactions to the hit TV show, inevitably Google such responses, find and click on the link to FanFiction.net/Odd-Squad, read a poorly-written and highly-inaccurate travesty or two or five - I can't count higher than five - close the browser window in shock and horror, and proceed to tell everyone they know about what they have just discovered. I will make sure training programs are instituted at the Odd Squad Academy so that recruits and novice agents will be able to recognize a dangerous and mind-corrupting fanfic before they read it and the damage can be done," he promised.

A/N thanks to Flying Saucerian for the story idea!